This Life, I Will Be the Protagonist

Rita had originally planned to bait Verdant Whisper · Windrush into attacking her, then use Moment Reversal to swap the names on Asset Transfer.

But after what just happened, she decided to hold off. No rush—better to see what tricks these other players had up their sleeves before choosing who to reverse on first.

While she pondered, Mistblade crouched down beside her and tapped her right shoulder, conveniently pressing it too. "I once mentored Apache. Since you're Apache's student, that makes me your half-teacher."

[Player Lania Kaia Mistblade has used the item "Professional Lawyer" to change the beneficiary of "Asset Transfer" to Lania Kaia Mistblade.]

[Permanent Bind detected. The original beneficiary of "Asset Transfer" cannot be removed. Lania Kaia Mistblade has been added as a secondary beneficiary. Assets will now rotate between Lania Kaia Maple Syrup and Lania Kaia Mistblade.]

Rita, Verdant Whisper · Windrush, Maple Syrup, Mistblade: …

And it didn't stop there.

Pine Bloom leaned in slightly, a flower crown appearing in her hands. With a warm smile, she gently placed it atop Rita's head. "Nivalis is a friend of Li Zhou. And if you're Li Zhou's friend, then you're my friend."

Rita took a deep breath, holding it in—she had never seen anything like this.

Not only did they mess with her asset bindings, they even insisted on delivering these ridiculous lines while doing it!

[Player Lania Kaia Pine Bloom has used the item "Nutrient Absorption" to change the beneficiary of "Asset Transfer" to Lania Kaia Pine Bloom.]

[Permanent Bind detected. Asset Transfer beneficiary cannot be overwritten. Pine Bloom has been added as a new secondary. Assets will now rotate among Mistblade, Maple Syrup, and Pine Bloom.]

The newly appointed heirs looked at each other in mutual silence.

No one had expected the others to play this dirty either.

And then the notifications wouldn't stop.

In the span of just three minutes, Rita's list of inheritance claimants ballooned to 35 names. Even Little Seahorse and Verdant Whisper · Windrush had jumped in with patchwork clauses.

Rita stared at the growing list of names, one thought surfacing in her mind:

This must be what palace coups feel like.

She felt like a living monarch being forced to witness her own will rewritten in real time by greedy courtiers.

Ungrateful brats!!

She took several deep breaths in frustration. But she wasn't willing to leave just yet.

She was already in the game—might as well stay to hear the rules. If the gameplay suited her, she could still head over to the 15th Month Theme Park for another round.

Then, yet another hand landed on her shoulder.

[Player Lania Kaia Withered Bark has used the item "I Won't Let You Die." When your HP remains below 5% for more than three seconds, all your statuses will be restored to what they were ten seconds ago. Duration: 6 hours.]

For most players, this would be a top-tier healing item.

But for Rita? A disaster.

It meant she could no longer use Mysterious Power.

Whenever she activated it in front of high-level opponents, it was always a risky gamble. She had to pair it with other skills like Punishment or Reward, Come Kill Me If You Can, or Survive Until the End, just to increase her chances.

But now, this item had completely cut off her ability to regulate her HP. If she got focused or burst down, she'd be dead in an instant.

Even if she did manage to hit the activation threshold, she'd be yanked back to full health by the skill's rewind effect.

The seasoned veterans clearly figured it out. It wasn't hard to deduce the activation conditions of a high-risk skill like that—and if it couldn't be countered with healing, then rewinding it was the next best option.

It was the exact kind of exploit her opponents would aim for.

All eyes turned to Withered Bark, who gave a slight nod—mission accomplished.

Looking at her circle of greedy "heirs," Rita couldn't help but feel like she'd just brokered a new peace treaty between every abyssal clan in existence.

Around her, the crowd of high-ranking abyssals chatted casually while sneaking glances at mini-sized BS-Rita, all trying to figure out where Cat's Ideal was stashed.

Rita, on the other hand, stared straight at Verdant Whisper · Windrush. "You're not panicking?"

Get it together! Your inheritance is getting divided!

Verdant Whisper · Windrush shot back, "Aren't you angry?"

Rita closed her eyes and rolled them hard.

Was that even a question?

Of course she was angry.

But what could she do?

She couldn't beat a single one of them. It's not like she could just throw a tantrum like Little Seahorse or yell something like "Just you wait—what goes around comes around!"

Little Seahorse set up a mini stage. "Oh? Is BS-Rita scary when she's mad?"

Verdant Whisper · Windrush jumped on the bit, helping with the improv. She shook her head dramatically. "Terrifying. She's the Captain, after all."

Then she mimicked Rita's earlier performance when she hijacked Cat's Ideal during the Ferris wheel fiasco, pretending to grasp a ship's wheel and spinning it while yelling, "Haha~ Call me Captain~"

The crowd—made up of players who'd fought Verdant Whisper · Windrush for years and seen it all—shared a silent look.

So it's true… losing a Divine Relic will drive you mad.

Rita shut her eyes in pain, breathing deeply, reminding herself:

They're just barking because they lost. Cat's Ideal is mine. I win. I'm calm.

[Congratulations, Player BS-Rita. You have comprehended an SSS-grade skill: Doormat Balloon Maker!]

Rita: …???

Doormat Balloon Maker (SSS):

"If anger doesn't kill me, I'll cry for three months and be fine."

When you choose to suppress your rage instead of venting it, activate this skill. For the next 5 minutes, as long as you're still angry, you can inflate Doormat Balloons. By tagging a balloon, you can link it to one healing skill. While the balloon exists, that skill will ignore cooldowns and activate every 15 seconds with no cost. Balloons have unlimited duration but break after 10 hits. Each use costs 1000 MP. Max 3 tagged balloons per player. No cooldown.

Rita: ......…

She somehow felt even more annoyed now.

She used to be able to inflate five at once—now she felt like she could blow ten without breaking a sweat.

So she did just that.

Even though she didn't yet know what this game's rules were, having a few balloons stashed in her inventory couldn't hurt.

Even if healing was banned during the event, the balloons wouldn't take up any extra space.

Ever since entering the game, she had run tests—just like she had after getting the gacha machine earlier.

No matter the environment or the rules, once an item was inside the gacha capsule, it functioned normally.

Game rules might limit Rita, but they couldn't limit the gacha machine or the items inside it.

The clearest proof was that all her skill cooldowns were still 30% shorter—meaning Where's the Owl Already was active.

Even if active item abilities were disabled, passive effects still worked.

And the balloon's auto-cast system? That counted as a passive effect.

Thanks to the High Self-Management Awareness trait, the gacha machine was completely hidden from the game's rule enforcement.

It—and the capsules inside—existed outside the rules.