This Is Where I Want To Be

5. Cowardice

Juliet

After my freak-out, I went to the closest bathroom, found an open stall, and came out of my vanished state behind a door. I checked the time. It was about half an hour after school. Charlene and Carl would be waiting for me. She had my bag, and I needed to go home. I felt lousy that I didn’t go back to talk to Chris; seeing someone else disappear right before your eyes would make an average person go off the deep end. Even if I couldn’t face him, I wanted to know he was okay. Standing around a corner from his class, I waited. A few minutes later, he came from where we were earlier. I sighed, glad it was over for the time being.

I made my way to the gate, where my two friends were with a big group of kids in the parking lot. Everyone was standing around their cars, talking and joking around. We usually bummed a ride from someone. That day, I didn’t feel like sitting in a car with a bunch of strangers while they dropped everyone off. I took my bag from Charlene and told them I wanted to walk home. She and Carl were too curious to hear all that happened and agreed readily.

We greeted everyone and made our way out the gate, “Come on, Jules, I’ll give you a ride home,” Jerry said as we walked past him. He was my biggest mistake in high school so far. I thought he was a good guy when we first got together; a year later, he turned into an absolute idiot. It had been over between us for a long time. Come to think about it, we broke up over the summer holidays just before Chris and I began our staring contest. Jerry wouldn’t let us go, and he even got a job at the school after he graduated. He was probably still upset I didn’t put out anymore, hoping I’d eventually change my mind. The first time he shouted at me… he also got violent and shoved me on the shoulder. I almost lost it. He should be glad I didn’t have my vampire strength yet; I would’ve killed him and buried his body in another state or donated him to a werewolf pen.

“That’s never going to happen, you fool!” I said so everyone could hear me. “I hope all the girls know that Jerry is one of those men who hit women.”

Jerry pushed off his car to come at me. Carl stepped forward, warning him with one look. Even if Carl was two years younger, he was taller and muscled.

Pointing at me, Jerry warned, “One day, you will regret leaving me. And one day, your friend isn’t going to be there to protect you.”

“Yeah?” The day I kill you. I wanted to add but didn’t. “I’m not the one that left! If there was a choice between living and dying, Jerry. I would rather die than go back to you… You’re one of those guys that think small-town girls are stupid and easy… Anyway, I only make a mistake once.”

I knew I was goading him, but I needed to vent, and he was the perfect punching bag. “You’re a bitch!” He yelled. “And a whore!”

I flinched at him, pouting my lips for effect, scrunching my face, “But I’m not stupid!” I was both easy and stupid… Nevertheless, I wasn’t scared of him and wanted him to know. My reaction had the opposite effect on the rest of the crowd, who burst out laughing at our scrap. Jerry stared down his nose at me with a big smirk, feeling good that everybody took what I said as a joke. Heaven knows what attracted me to the guy in the first place.

The rest of our friends stood closer, older guys who came to pick up girlfriends and could manage him. One of them walked over to Jerry, leaning in, and said something in his ear. They exchanged some more words. The guy wasn’t taking no for an answer, so he pushed Jerry into his car and told him to get lost. Jerry was cool until that weird night when his personality did a one-eighty.

We headed down the road, leaving them to sort it out. On the way home, I had to make up some boring tale about Chris, showing Charlene and Carl the sponsorship paper and convincing them that he didn’t even mention anything else. Carl and Charlene were actually disappointed and asked me if my crush was over. As soon as Chris’s hand ran down my arm… The way I felt when he touched me… It was no longer a crush… In an instant, our worlds had collided, and only time would tell what would happen. Chris was attractive even on an off day. Being so near him, seeing his bronze-brown eyes focused on my lips… Just a kiss away… sealed the deal for me. “No, why would my crush vanish when I finally talked to the guy?”

“Because he is obviously not interested,” Carl jabbed. It made me chase him, trying to slap him. In turn, he used Charlene as a human shield, gripping her shoulders and pushing her into me. She got so annoyed… In the end, we had a good laugh, even if it was at my expense.

A car drove past us, one I was so familiar with. Seeing Chris and his wife together left a sour taste in my mouth. They were never together. Why today? Will he tell her anything? Or everything? I should’ve followed him. Make sure he didn’t blab. When they had passed us, Carl stroked my hair, “It will be okay… He is going to leave his wife for you. Don’t worry.” I stuck out my tongue at him. Chased him again and gave him a few good swats.

***

Chris Earlier

Without a doubt, I was holding onto something. It was flesh, and seeing Juliet just disappeared… It had to be her, right? She was trying to free her arm. I held on tighter until she relaxed. I wanted to take her hand to reassure her I was there for her. However, I made the same mistake again, thinking she wouldn’t bolt. Juliet did disappear, and I think even I would’ve run. She jumped back and was gone. Reaching out… there was nothing, “I don’t know if you can hear me, Juliet. I have no clue what just happened. You need to come and talk to me. Soon, okay.”

She seemed as surprised as I was that I could touch her. The whole experience seemed familiar to the feeling I sometimes had when I was alone… That one specific day… I had thought I was going crazy. It was so long ago and never happened again. I didn’t stick around; our moment was over. And what a weird moment it was. I walked back to my class, my head in a muddle.

I was sitting behind my desk, staring out into space, when a shrill voice came from the door… Droned out by Juliet’s blushing features... Biting her lip… I chose to ignore Sita at that moment. Juliet’s panicked face made me want to find her at all costs and hold her. Had she heard what I said? “Chris!” The intrusive voice finally broke through.

My head jerked to the door. I was irritated because I knew Sita would be standing there, “What?” I snapped.

“We have to get going.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t have my car here today, remember. I took it in for repairs.”

“Well, now I do. Go ahead, I’ll be right there.” I picked up the car keys and tossed them at her. I was done being the nice guy, but still surprised when she grabbed it without any effort. It left me frowning—good reflexes for a bookish teacher.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing!”

“Then let’s go. I want to get home.”

“Really? Go home? We have no home! And to what, anyway? You drinking and passing out in front of the TV?” I had barked out the words rougher than I should’ve. She mentally tilted, spun around, and stormed off again, avoiding my jabs. I was tense all over. Sita had a way of passively driving me insane… My fist hit my desk, “What a freaking day!”

Driving out of the school, we passed some students, and even from afar, I could see it was Juliet and her two friends. She was chasing Carl, smiling and joking around. I exhaled; she was okay! Thank heavens… And she was visible! I was really contemplating if I was losing my mind. Did what happened really happen?

They were on the road. Charlene heard the car first and yelled at them or something. Carl grabbed Juliet and pushed her onto the sidewalk. For how long will she stun me every time I see her? All three stared at the car. They lifted their hands, apologizing for being on the road and greeting two teachers from the school.

Sita nor I waved back for two very different reasons… I just kept driving. In my rear-view mirror, I saw them gawking at the car. They disappeared as we went around a bend in the road. It didn’t feel good… My knuckles were white around the steering wheel.

***

Sita

“What happened?” Nick asked.

“I don’t know. Chris was doing something weird.”

“Weird, how?”

“He was looking for something.”

“What’s weird about that?”

“He was searching… the air,” I tried to demonstrate, getting up and mimicking Chris’s actions earlier. “Feeling around him in a circle. Like this…” I stretched out my arm as Chris had done.

“He probably saw her disappear?”

“He might have. It doesn’t explain why he was trying to find her… I was too far anyway and just got there.”

“What happened after that?”

“She heard me.”

Nick’s anger rose; a growl resonated in his throat, “How can you be so careless. We need information about the vampires, and you cannot perform a simple surveillance task.”

“The only reason we know about her is because the man you told me to marry had taken a fancy to her. If he finds out about her… What then?”

“I am tired of this….” Nicholas said and sat down on the chair behind him. I was being an ass. He didn’t deserve it. I felt terrible lowering my gaze.

Nick also calmed down, “Our race is dying out, Sita. The vampires are populating like rabbits. Soon, there will be none of us left. Your job was to marry Chris and have a baby?” He studied my reactions, “There… is… no one else.” I didn’t have anything to say because I knew he was right. The man in front of me was old, grey, and dying. Nicholas was trying to save me. Leave me with some kind of future after he died, and yes, the pool of suiters was shallow.

Nicholas is my grandfather, but I’ve never been attached to him or any of my family. I probably would’ve had kids already… If only I could get over myself and sleep with my husband, but I’ve never been really attached to him, either.