This DCverse is Maddening

To say the atmosphere was tense would be an understatement. What do you get when you put a psychopath, an environmental extremist, a handyman, an investigator and a cat in locked box?

A blonde chatting wildly, a red head sighing at her antics, an older man fumbling around with his tools, a teen trying his damnedest to be as small as possible and a black feline silently grooming herself.

If things weren’t so dire, Albert would’ve found some form of amusement in this little set up. It reminded him a lot of how his players made eccentric characters. Things were a lot less humorous when it was in reality.

He cursed at his past-self. If only he just shot the lock, then he wouldn’t be stuck in the situation. Sure it wouldn’t be as secure as it was now, but it at least would’ve been better on his psyche if he just needed to chill out in a bunker for a few days to a week.

There was enough food, water and entertainment for him to coast through this emergency with no skin off his back. Sure if the cat joined, it would’ve take a cut of resources but not nearly enough to matter.

His chance to escape from this tenuous situation was already long gone, he honestly should’ve fled the moment the blonde had popped in without his notice. But after the poison mistress herself came sauntering in, his exit was already snatched from him.

“This might not be the most ideal situation,” Darnell, the old handyman said pulling out a small clothe. Apparently this was the perfect time to add a new shine to his rusty tools. “But if we’re going to stuck here for a couple of days, might as well not make it awful.”

“My name is Pamela.” The red head said, picking up on the man’s unspoken prodding and decided to throw out an olive branch.

“I’m Harley!”

The blonde grinned widely.

Albert decided to at least acknowledge the bone being thrown his way, especially after receiving the weighty, expectant gazes from every other human in the room.

‘Cat too.’

He mused, taking notice of his feline ally yellow slit eyes seeming to add to the peer pressure. It wasn’t like them knowing his name would lead anywhere. There had to be a multitude of people with his name in this city alone.

“..Albert.”

He said after a few seconds of awkward silence, hesitant.

“I’m going with Burger Boy Two!” The blonde declared,” Sounds a lot better that All-bert.”

“Why?”

Pamela asked, sighing softly at the energetic woman.

“He’s the kid I told you about!” She said, popping a stick of gum in her mouth,” Remember? At the burger place.”

“Oh.” The jade woman said simply,” That’s…”

“Unlikely?” Harley helpfully added,” Unlucky? Improbable? Great?”

‘More than you know lady.’ Albert sobbed internally, eyeing his LCK and blaming it for his string of misfortune.

[LCK: 15/45]

It was a lot lower than it has ever been since coming to this world, frankly he was more surprised that he hadn’t been struck by lightning yet. Or accidentally stumbled upon some kind of secret cabal that would ‘silence’ him for just knowing about them.

‘Never again.’

He pledged to himself again. More seriously this time. If just having his LCK below twenty was calling upon misfortune like this? Then he would definitely be limiting his LCK usage unless absolutely necessary for now on.

“..Sure.”

She said, sending a tired glare at the grinning blonde.

“Now that we’re properly introduce-”

The old man’s grumbling was interrupted by an excite retort.

“But wait!” Harley declared, pointing a finger at the grooming cat,” You didn’t introduce your cat!”

“She’s not mine.”

Albert said, noticing how the black cat seemed to glowered at the loud woman. He didn’t know how he would quantified their relationship. He couldn’t very well adopt an animal given his living conditions and he was more than sure she wouldn’t be made into a house cat. She was a hunter in this urban jungle of theirs. A fighter with her own scars to showcase to the world that these streets wouldn’t keep her down.

Also, given how reactive she seem be to human speech, was probably too intelligent for him to feel right ‘owning’ her.

“Then why did you let her in?”

Pamela asked, confusion evident from the raised, perfectly shaped eyebrow.

“I promised her.”

He said with conviction, not caring in the slightest how crazy it sounded. And even if they did decide to call him crazy, who were they to judge? One literally wants to violently end all forms of civilization from around the globe and allow mother nature to regrow over that worldwide cemetery. While the other was gaslit into insanity by one of the most influential and dangerous person in all versions of DC. Neither of them had any room to judge.

Plus besides, it wasn’t that weird to talk to animals. People do it all the time, it was just this in particular cat seemed intelligence enough to actually understand human speech and not just picking up the general tone of a voice. So at least that was a plus for him not being completely insane.

“He’s like Kitty!”

Harley giggled softly, prodding at the jade skinned woman’s shoulder.

“Yeah I know.”

Pamela drawled, not paying any mind to the blonde’s prodding. Honestly, she just looked resigned and thoroughly done with the world itself. Her slightly monotone voice and bored eyes were clear in that.

“Anyway.” Darnell interjected,” Now that introductions are out of the way, we should take stock first. Figure out what we have and don’t have. Treat it like a survival situation. Food, water and shelter are first.”

It took Albert a few seconds to come to a decision. He could pretend to look for supplies like everyone else but he really didn’t want to have to lie. Especially not with a walking lie detector in close vicinity.

“I already did.” The teen said after a beat,” The bunker seems to be connected to the city’s utilities. So we don’t need to worry about water and heat for now. There’s also a bathroom-”

“Hallelujah!”

Harley interrupted, her frame visibly sagging relief. Seems he wasn’t the only who didn’t look forward to pissing in a bucket somewhere and ignoring its existence until his body demanded.

“...Right.” He continued,” There’s a bathroom it has some toiletries so that’s good. I also found some blankets and a radio. But most importantly, there’s enough food for all of us if we ration it well. Should last about four days.”

“Really?” Darnell looked taken aback,” Only four days? I thought these shelters were stocked with weeks worth of food at a time?”

“I was surprised too.” The teen nodded,” It seems someone treated this like a buffet. You can check for yourself.”

Then he pointed at the boxes off to the side. The food in question wasn’t anything special. Canned food, peanut butter, rice, jerky and honey.

“At least its better than MREs..” The old man grumbled,” But we’re going to have to scavenge if this lasts more than four days.”

“Things are going to be worst by then.”

Pamela warned.

“I know.” He nodded, deep in thought,” I’ve seen it. People turn into animals when things get desperate. No offense.”

The cat in question only ignored the man, not deigning to twitch an ear or tail of acknowledgment.

“Don’t worry Arney!” Harley chirped, caressing her iconic bat,” If things get tough, we’ll protect ya! Me and my baby here!”

“I’m still surprised you still have that thing..”

The jade woman said. Eye running across the piece of treated wood that held so much history.

“I only had to beg Bats really, really hard and he gave it back to me as a parole gift!” She bragged,” Said I had to be good or he would take it away! He can be a really meanie sometimes!”

“Sometimes..” Pamela snorted in derision and honestly Albert couldn’t help but agree. The Dark Knight was known for being a massive dick, especially during his earlier days. Only really mellowing out during the end of most cartoons. “But Harley’s right, we’re not helpless dames. If we need to scavenge then we’ll be of some help.”

“Good.” Darnell nodded,” For now we’re good on food, water and shelter. I don’t know how long the grid will stay up but it should be fine for now. Next we should set up some ground rules if we’re going to be staying together.”

“Ah!” Harley whined,” Rules, rules and more rules! Can’t get away from them even underground!”

“He’s right.” Pamela said,” Even trees set up a sort of order among one another.”

‘And they strangle the nutrients out of their competitors..’

He didn’t blurt out that rather dark thought, not feeling like it would wise to say in front of the very person who could control plants to a severe degree.

“Fine if you say so Red.”

The blonde pouted, crossing her arms and laying flat on the hard concrete.

“...We should go around and add some rules a piece,” The old man said, most likely use to her strange behavior,” I’ll go first. I’m a bit old fashion, but my momma always told me that boys and girls shouldn’t share a bathroom. We don’t have a choice here, so send out a call when you’re coming and going in the bathroom.”

“Harley and I have been in prison.” The poison mistress warned,” And we have learned to be light sleepers. Each of us tend to lash out when someone gets too close. So for all of our sake, none of us should go anywhere near anyone else whose sleeping.”

“Burger Boy Two is responsible for cleaning up after the kitty.” Harley said quickly,” Cat piss is the worst.”

The cat glowered at the blonde, seeming insulted at that very idea. Albert would’ve laughed at her reaction if he didn’t somewhat agree. He already knew that any clean up would be on him to do so he had no issue with this rule or any of the other rules. One protected them from an incredibly awkward situation and the other was a warning to not get any funny idea while they slept, else get a bat to the skull or turned into a slathering buffoon. Both a win win in his opinion.

Thinking for a few seconds, he tried to come up with what he needed. It would send out red flags if they saw paper literally lighting ablaze just from him touch it, so rereading the First Chapter was a no go here. Working out would cut further into their supplies and generally make it incredibly unbearable to stay here. But there was one simple thing that was missing here, something that if he didn’t address soon would lead to tension forming.

“We should each have a three-hours period that no one else can bother them.” Albert said,” No talking to them, poking them or doing anything that can be considered purposefully attention grabbing.”

“Three is too long!” Harley interjected,” That combined with sleep is like at least thirty-seven percent of the day! I’ll go stir crazy!”

“She will.”

Pamela agreed readily enough, sagely nodding.

“I agree with the boy.” Darnell defended,” People tend to get snappy when they’re cooped up anywhere for too long so giving them some time to collect themselves is needed. But three hours is too long.”

‘You just don’t want to be stuck with Harley..’

Albert wasn’t stupid and he was more than sure none of them were either. The primary problem child was the blonde herself and her rambunctious behavior. She was probably fun in short burst but judging from how tired Poison Ivy seemed, it would get exhausting eventually.

Everyone here knew that the blonde would never use these slots and whoever was left out would receive her complete attention. He never would’ve though receiving the attention of a beautiful would be a bad thing..

“An hour.” Albert relented,” And only one person can take it at a time.”

“Then-”

“Meow!”

Darnell was interrupted by the black cat, her harsh calling like nails skittering down a chalk board.

“I guess it’s her turn…”

Pamela slowly said, not believing her own words.

Now that she got everyone’s attention, the cat sauntered her way to one of the shelves before running her claws down the side. Leaving light scratches across it’s surface. Afterwards, she sat right in front of the shelf like some kind of ruler judging her subjects.

“Ooo!” Harley exclaimed excitedly,” I love charades!”

“That’s hers?”

Albert guessed.

But it didn’t matter, as she leapt atop the shelf before closing her yellow eyes to the world. Her intentions clear. Frankly, he was just glad she hadn’t done the normal thing cats do when they lay claim on something. Mark it with their piss. That would’ve been a bad introduction on both their parts.

“Well..” Darnell sighed, exhaustion weighing heavily on his shoulders,” It was a nice talk. If you all don’t mind, I’m going to take my hour now.”

And without even giving any of them to protest, he took out one of his tools and clothe before getting ready to shine them to a polish. Leaving Albert to the mercy of a pair of bright blue and jade green eyes.

***********************************************************************************

“Where do you think they went?”

Robin asked, his usual yellow and red suit now having a few additions. Most notably, more heavily armored around the chest. It kind of gave him a bulkier appearance, something he noticed while flexing in the mirror just a few hours ago.

“I’m sure they went to ground immediately.”

Batgirl answered, leaning against a nearby wall as the two waited for the que. Her own black costume armored with plates of metal around vital areas, like the heart. 

When the alarm had went off, Bruce thought it was then prudent to finally bring them into the know and forced the teens to wear these newly improved ‘war suits’. They were slight variants of their normal costumes but with a few alterations that focused more on survival than anything else. With increased armor around the chest that would hopefully turn a deadly blow into something more treatable. Heavy looking gauntlets, boots that seemed useful for kicking teeth in than any amount of stealth that was their usual MO. Not to mention their capes that was more like many metal plates overlapping one another, so all in all they were specifically prepared to take on more dangerous foe.

And given who they were up again, any advantage they could squeeze out was to their benefit.

Honestly, Robin was a bit pissed. He had been running around in bullet proof spandex for years now and his mentor had these babies just locked up in storage. These would’ve been real useful, especially sense just because his usual suit was bullet proof it didn’t do a thing for all the welts he got!

Plus, if their usual crooks knew they had marvels like these then they would probably think twice about starting something in the city.

Flexing his fingers, he could hear the mechanic hiss of piston moving in conjunction. This was probably the most powerful he’s ever felt before, and he really didn’t feel giving up this War Suit afterwards. How could he go back to that when he could punch through cinder block without a sweat?!

He finally felt like an actual superhero now.

“The smart ones yeah.”

He snorted, already remembering the idiots who just rampaged immediately upon breaking out. They were easy to take down. Just normal people. But what really concerned him were the big names and how they all just evaporated into thin air.

‘Killer Crock, Scarecrow, Riddler, Hugo Strange and Clayface.’

All high profile names that the Batman had personally put behind bars, and who all just seem to disappear into the night. Leaving no evidence or tracks for them to follow. For two of them he could understand. Killer Crock because of his reptilian nature, knew how to hide and stay out of sight until the very end. While Clayface could literally be anyone in the city.

But honestly, while those two were some of the most physically imposing members of the Rogue Gallery, they weren’t the one’s he personally worried about. The last three were literal geniuses that could wrought unimaginable amount of damage if left alone for too long.

Despite that, Robin couldn’t help but let out a breathe of relief when he didn’t see a particular name on that list of escapes convicts. The Joker was still safely behind bars. Checked personally by the Bat himself.

“But what do you think?” She asked, bringing the teen out of his deep thoughts,” I suspect some kind of foul play. It went off way to easily and silently for my liking.”

He couldn’t help but agree, something like a prison break out of Blackgate Penitentiary should’ve left some stirs in the underworld. The criminals responsible should’ve boasted about it heavily, after-all it was the one of the only prison in United States without a single prison break. And had received the titled Inescapable by the designers and builders. He guessed that title was now gone.

But still, there should’ve been something at least. Some kind of trace. Something. Anything. But there wasn’t a thing left behind to point them anywhere.

“Yeah,” Robin said,” I think this has to be someone new.”

“I hope not.” Batgirl sighed,” It’ll be a nightmare if we have to deal with someone like that.”

Bruce had drilled a very simple lesson deep in the core of his being, a mantra that he lived his life by.

‘Information is key.’

If this was someone that they hadn’t yet built a profile for, then these next couple of days were going to be deadly. Being able to predict their opponents was probably one of the only reason why mundane humans like them could face beings that would’ve been worshiped like gods in ancient times with relative ease.

“Robin, Batgirl. Come in.”

A deep voice crackled over their built in radio, causing their spines to stiffen in unison. Their casual air flew off of them. In one beat they were a pair teenagers lounging and speaking amicably, in the next they were like predators. Hunters in this urban jungle.

“We hear you Batman.”

Robin said seriously, eyes glinting beneath that domino mask. Hands already clutching tightly had his metal baton. Batgirl beginning to twirl her wicked looking tonfa, jaw flexing under her black cowl.

“Get in position.”

He said simply, but it was like a gunshot to the two armored suited people. In a flash, they separated from one another, a bird flitting away with the breeze while a bat flapped it’s wings and disappeared into the night.

(A/N: Hey everyone! I hope everything is well! I just wanted to say that I really, REALLY, enjoyed writing Harley. She's always been a favorite of mine. So sitting back for bit, I had to think exactly how she would be in real life. And I'm gonna be honest, she's annoying as hell. And she knows it. She likes messing people in general and if she believes that by talking a lot will bring some form of discomfort, you bet your ass she will do exactly that. So with that in mind, please prepare for Harley to be the most annoying ass character in the story so far! It'll cool off after a bit but not by much! I hope you guys enjoyed and I'll see guy next week!)