Theseus

I stared at the brainwave data that had been collected during the night. I wasn’t really sure how I was supposed to read it. I didn’t even have the benefit of knowing how it was normally read by doctors. Doc was understandably still sleeping in after the previous day’s frantic activity, and I wasn’t even sure if he really had the specific training to do it anyway.

I tried to parse it as raw data, but that did nothing. It wasn’t like it was just going to give me a readable manuscript or video file of my dream. There were probably a million other things happening in my brain besides what I was dreaming, not to mention whatever Theseus was pushing through my mental processes. Maybe Aisling was right and this was a fool’s errand.

I spent a long time staring at the data, hoping in vain that my brain might somehow recognize something in the readout and give me a flashback or something. Then Doc walked into my heart, finally awake. “I see you took it upon yourself to get back to work.” Doc said, drinking water from a flask as he approached his terminal.

“Someone’s gotta get stuff done around here.” I spoke sarcastically over the intercom. “Don’t suppose you have any idea how to read a brain scan?”

“Told you it wouldn’t be that simple.” He said as he sat down. “Give it, I’ll take a look, but I won’t be able to give you more than a medical opinion.”

I sent the file through to his terminal and watched as he opened it up in an application that displayed data in a more visually readable format, but it was still completely alien to me. “Is this the right file?” He mumbled, rechecking the file name before looking it over again. “Nope, this is all nonsense. Your brain activity can’t even be read as human. My guess is it’s all crossed wires with Theseus. It’s different than how a core’s brain would operate too. This is useless.”

“Helpful.” I muttered. I was honestly getting tired of being a ‘special case’ who couldn’t make use of anything standard or easy. “I don’t suppose there’s any way to separate my thoughts from Theseus’s operations?”

“No idea. Might be something to ask the Venusians. I know there are at least a few neuroscientists there. If you’re going to just show yourself to them with Shaw, you may as well let them see the files. That reminds me, there is one thing I wanted to emphasize about this place to you.”

“Doc, anyone ever tell you that you worry too much?” I asked, backing up the file and copying his program so I could try to manipulate it for myself later.

“Just listen.” He sounded very serious. “If you ever run into Skygraves himself while we’re there, do not trust him. Don’t trust anything about him, okay? Avoid him entirely if you can manage it.”

There was something different about the way he demanded this of her. He was being even more protective than usual. “How dangerous can he be? He doesn’t operate the place like a government, right? So he doesn’t have an army or anything.”

He looked up into the sensor to try and show how serious he was being. “Because he’s insane. If he sees some kind of avenue to immortality through you, he’s going to attempt to use you. To what extent, I have no idea. But he will. Maybe he’ll get ideas about uploading his consciousness again from you or something. I know that’s a method he’s tried to look into before.”

That look of fearful recognition in his eyes was frightening. I was starting to put together what he was getting at. “You know this guy, don’t you?” I asked gently.

He looked away from the sensors, his expression softening slightly. “… It was a long time ago now. Don’t worry about it. Just trust me that he isn’t the benevolent person he tries to come off as.”

“Trust for trust.” I said, folding my arms in the fluid “Tell me why I should be so afraid of this guy and I’ll do everything I can to make sure he doesn’t touch me.”

He momentarily clenched his teeth as if he was about to yell. But then closed his eyes and let out a resigned sigh “I worked with him. It was a long time ago now, before he became obsessed. Yatama Corporation. They were trying to develop the same thing he’s still trying to work on. Immortality. Through biological means. An actual anti-aging pharmaceutical. It didn’t go anywhere, of course, but Skygraves became inspired by it. It consumed him. The company gave up and stopped funding the project because it was impossible. Skygraves didn’t think so. He became obsessed and kept working on it himself.”

“But you’re a doctor, right? What’s your role here?” I asked, having a hard time putting the story together from there. He was still hiding something. “Were you just administering the drugs?”

“You could say that.” He said nervously, another quieter sigh escaping his lips as he realized I had him cornered. “If you must know, yes, I did distribute his testing medication. I was paid handsomely. At first, it was above board. I presented people with trials so that the medication could possibly help mitigate conditions brought on by aging. Cell degradation, usually. It seemed like a worthwhile cause, and back then, I even saw merit in pursuing that moronic dream of defeating death.” I had to agree. If it was voluntary, regulated properly, and it had the intent of making peoples’ lives better, what was the problem? As if sensing my question, he continued “I hadn’t been informed that Yatama’s support of the project had been revoked. The trials and the funding kept coming though. Skygraves kept sending me his own iterations of the medication, which drastically became more and more volatile. Dangerous. It wasn’t until my patients began to drop dead that I realized what was happening.”

“That’s… disgusting.” It was all I could think to say. “Not you, him. How could he just use people as guinea pigs for something that isn’t even being regulated?”

“Because he wants to find this secret to immortality so badly that he’ll do anything.” Doc warned once again. “He used me. He made me a murderer. I know it was his fault, but I could have been more diligent. I was supposed to be put on trial for it. I was his scapegoat. The man comes from old money, and if I’d stuck around for it, I knew he’d be able to bribe the right people to make sure I faced ‘justice’.”

“And that’s when Aisling came into your life?” I asked. It was funny how she seemed to show up to rescue people like us. I had to wonder how many unlucky folks with desperate backgrounds just died on the sidelines without someone like her intervening. Theseus couldn’t be there for everyone like us.

“Her last medic bailed on her, and she’d put out word that she was looking for a doctor, no questions asked. I heard about it from a mutual friend. I took the opportunity, told her that as long as she got me out of there, I’d do whatever she needed. And I’ve been with Theseus ever since.” He gave a long drawn-out sigh that emphasized his impatience with my curiosity. “Happy? You finally know why I’m here now. It’s because I facilitated a mass poisoning and I overlooked it all because the profit was too good.”

In hindsight, I felt sorry that I made Doc relive something like that. It hadn’t actually been his fault, but he still probably blamed himself all the same. I probably would have done the same thing if I had been in his situation. “Sorry.” I said quietly. “You’re right, I should have just taken your word for it. Guy sounds like a real scumbag.”

“The only reason I told you about that is so you know about Skygraves. Don’t go throwing that info around. You know what it’s like in this ship. We all have skeletons in our closets, and we’d like to keep them there if we can.” He mumbled, turning away from the sensor and trying to avoid looking into my ‘eyes’.

I nodded “I understand. I won’t poke around anymore. I trust you. I promise.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t.” He snapped, but his expression showed it was more at himself than at me. He closed his eyes and his expression softened as he reigned in his emotions “I’m going to be laying low on the ship for this one. Given my past with the man governing the Venus colony, I’d be a liability. I doubt he holds a grudge, but he’d still use me as a bargaining chip if Foundation finds their way there.”

“That’s probably for the best. No chores for you at least.” I tried to lighten the mood, and got a half-scoff, half-laugh out of the man. “Even though we could use the extra cash from labor. I think we might be broke thanks to that contract falling through.”

“Yeah. Better get used to eating rations again, I suppose.” He warned, and I had to stop myself from gagging.