NOVEL WEB Chapter 13
“I’m going to feed Tia some food for a moment.”
“Come down and feed her? I’ll serve you my food here!”
“I can’t feed her anything greasy or salty…”
I couldn’t feed something from the bar to a baby who just started to crawl.
Of course, with Tia’s iron stomach, she could probably digest it all just fine, but just in case, I was making sure to feed her proper baby food.
“Hahaha! Hurry back!”
It seemed the customers also meant that as a joke, as they soon cleared the way. Everyone becomes a fool when Tia is mentioned.
Taking advantage of that, sometimes when the bar got rowdy, I would bring Tia down and hold her.
Then, even the people swinging their fists would turn silly in front of Tia or twist their already unattractive faces to make her laugh.
“Hey, Julia! Just answer one question!”
“What is it?”
“Who’s the baby’s father?”
“Oh.”
“……”
“……”
With one drunken comment, the surrounding area suddenly fell silent.
As I stood there unable to answer, I could feel the atmosphere getting cold against my skin.
Everyone glanced at me after glaring at the drunk. It seemed they were curious.
But they probably couldn’t bring themselves to ask directly.
“Uh, that is…”
“Come on! Drunk people, go home! Julia, hurry back! Tia is going to cry again!”
I was pushed from behind by the innkeeper out of the bar.
Now that I think about it, how should I answer such a question?
Would everyone believe me if I said I picked her up?
They would likely pretend to believe it, but deep down, I knew they wouldn’t.
Most people probably believed I was her real mother, and that was the truth too.
So I decided I wouldn’t actively clarify or deny it.
“Momma! Momma!”
“Yeah, yeah. I thought she was about to start making a fuss, so I brought her some food.”
As I brought some potato porridge, Tia was precariously perched on the edge of the bed, flailing her arms around.
She still looked lively, but I had to feed her in advance.
If I left her alone until she cried for food, people from the adjacent room would complain about the noise.
After all, most of the people who came here were only looking for a temporary escape and would probably get angry if they heard a baby crying during their fun.
“Stay still. I’ll cool it down and give it to you.”
“Momma! Momma!”
“That’s not it.”
She kept trying to nuzzle against my chest, so I had to struggle to keep her away.
She was surprisingly strong; I was already getting tired.
Once I stood my ground, Tia began to pout and sniffle.
In her own way, it was her trump card.
Whenever she acted like this, the uncle customers would give her anything she wanted.
But that wouldn’t work on me.
Once she realized it wasn’t effective against me, she swallowed her fake sobs and pouted her lips.
“No. It’s time to stop nursing.”
It may not be right to wean a three-week-old baby, but I had no choice.
It hurt too much to smile brightly, as they were now clearly grown enough to hurt when nursing.
When she sucked, the pain was manageable, but when I tried to pull her away, she desperately bit down, and it had nearly made me scream once or twice.
Since then, I had decided to fully wean her.
“Mmm…”
Tia kept mumbling as if she was chewing on something, making my chest feel like it throbbed.
No, this can’t be happening.
Even if she looked at me with such longing, I had to be firm.
To avoid the pain of my nipple feeling like it was being torn off again, I needed to be resolute.
“Huff…!
“Oops. Is it hot? I said I’d cool it down. Hoo. Hoo. Now, try eating again.”
“Mmm…”
It took quite a while to scoop the porridge with a small spoon, blow on it to cool it down, and feed her.
However, that meant I was getting a break too, so I didn’t feel an urgent need to hurry.
Watching Tia gulp down the food as if she could swallow the spoon whole, I began to think she had grown again overnight.
Her horns seemed a bit bigger too.
Was it just my imagination?
“Don’t cry. If you behave nicely, I’ll take you down when there aren’t many people.”
I picked up the empty bowl and left the room.
Now that I thought about it, if she kept growing at that rate, it might become impossible to show her to others.
If people saw a child they had seen weeks ago suddenly much bigger, or if they saw something sharp trying to poke through her hat, they would definitely notice.
Thanks to that, I found myself with a goal.
Before Tia grows and gets discovered, I need to leave this inn.
That was my immediate goal.
Since I had to save money, I naturally found myself stopping drinking.
After all, there was no way I could get drunk anyway, so it felt like a good decision to quit.
“Ouch, my waist.”
As I attempted to stand up, I suddenly felt a sensation in my pelvis that made me momentarily stop.
It had been like this since morning; why was this happening?
Still, with my regeneration ability, I figured it was nothing serious, so I let it go.
“Julia. Come here for a moment.”
“Yes? Right now?”
“Would I tell you to come in an hour? Hurry.”
“……”
As I was about to head down to the first floor, I was caught by a sound from the restroom.
It was the fox-eared woman known as the queen sister.
She seemed to be annoyed with me, as she had been treating me like I didn’t exist until now, so I was puzzled as to why she was suddenly talking to me today.
“Come closer. Don’t stand far away. I’ll close the door.”
“……”
“Are you smoking?”
“No.”
“Oh, because there’s a baby…”
The heavy door closed with a thud.
The queen sister took the cigarette she had given me, bit into it, and pulled out a match to light it.
By the time the acrid smoke filled the restroom, she suddenly opened her folded ears wide and stared at me.
‘What is this about now?’
This woman had a strange vibe.
It was as if she had something important to say.
“Hey. You… that… No, never mind.”
After hesitating for a moment, the queen sister let out a deep sigh and started talking again.
“You picked up that kid, right?”
“What?”
“You picked her up. Tia. Am I wrong?”
“……”
Her tone was full of certainty.
However, I couldn’t grasp the logic behind that judgment.
Actually, to be precise, I had one doubt.
And that made me even more anxious.
“Oh, no…”
“Stop denying it. I know because I’ve seen under that kid’s hat, you idiot.”
“……”
The moment I saw her faint smile, all thought stopped.
I had been found out about Tia’s horns.
For a moment, I thought about just choking this woman to death right there and making my escape with Tia.
But on second thought, I was no longer in the body of a strong man; I had the fragile body of a woman that would cry if brushed against the chest, so even if I choked her, I wouldn’t stand a chance.
Since my chest was considerably smaller than hers, she would likely be much more agile.
‘What should I do now?’
What can I do?
I need to plead and beg her not to spread rumors.
With every second I hesitated, more guilt piled on, and yet my legs were frozen, making it hard to move.
As I trembled, the queen sister turned her head and exhaled smoke.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Huh?”
“What on earth are you thinking? Are you a saint or something? Raising a child that isn’t even yours?”
“……”
She is my child, after all.
I almost let that slip out but held it back with difficulty.
“Do you think acting like a saint will make you feel noble and just? Right? You’re receiving payment for your work, but because it’s all for justice, your conscience is clear? Isn’t that it?”
“……”
“That’s a delusion. You’re doing completely pointless things. Only those with money and leisure can afford that. What you’re doing is hypocrisy, only to soothe your own heart. You’re throwing your whole life away for a child that isn’t even yours. Do you understand, you foolish girl?”
That bitch.
She called me here to scold me.
Just ignore her, a whore swallowed by inferiority complex; it’s enough to dismiss her.
I know that the best course of action is to laugh it off.
But maybe it was because my body wasn’t feeling well today.
Without knowing why, I snapped.
“Do you think no one understands that?”
“What?”
“Do you think I’m raising her without knowing? I know. I know! I also want to let her go and feel at ease! I don’t want to work with filthy people like you! But what can I do? When the infant helplessly cries to survive, how can I ignore her? What should I do when I can’t give up on her?”
“In the end, you’re just making each other unhappy. Do you think you’ll hear a thank you someday for raising her? Not a chance.”
I know I’ll be resented, you bitch.
I’m prepared for that.
But being lectured by someone like you really pisses me off, which made me instinctively grab her by the collar.
“I know what kind of person you are. A fool who thinks she’s smart. You claim it’s for the child, but in reality, you’re selfish and care only about your comfort.”
“Who are you? Have you ever pretended to dedicate yourself to someone? Have you ever dropped your hypocrisy for the sake of anyone?”
“If it’s hypocrisy, then I’ll wear it. On payday, I’ll send money to the children I adopted while telling myself I made the right choice to release my conscience. Even though those kids probably don’t need the money at all! I’m just like you. We’re the same. Dropping our hypocrisies.”
“……”
The strength in my grip gradually loosened.
As I stood there in silence, the queen sister chewed her cigarette a bit before tossing it into the toilet and sitting down with her legs crossed.
Her ears, once perked up, had drooped helplessly.
She looked a bit, just a bit, pitiable.
“You sent your children to be adopted by a noble family…?”
“Yeah. A lord who couldn’t see his own child coveted mine. My husband died in the war, winter was approaching, and I didn’t have money to fix my collapsing roof or even food for tomorrow. I had no choice but to send my kids to the lord’s castle to lessen my burden, and then I started working desperately to earn money to take them back. I saved money to send them to college over the years and rushed to the lord’s castle. But at that time… Seeing them play in pretty clothes in a beautiful garden made me realize how happy they looked. I couldn’t bear to go and ask for them back in my tainted body. So, I just quietly turned around after watching them laugh from a distance.”
“……”
When she said that, the queen sister had a faint smile on her lips.
However, that smile looked so bitter.
“I hate you, Julia. I hate you so much. I had already given up on my children and sold my body. I hate you for still pretending to be noble. Seeing you and Tia makes me feel like my dignity is being denied.”
“……”
With a poisonous gaze, she looked at me.
She bit down on her lips.
Perhaps I was the one with dirty hands, criticizing others with the same filthy judgment.
Prostitution is indeed a vile act, but it’s not unforgivable.
I don’t have the right to scold a woman who did what she believed was best for her children, at least not to me.
“But still, I wish you’d prove me wrong. Show that both parents and children can be happy by being greedy. Only then can I finally cut ties with my children completely…”
“Why cut ties? If you miss them, go see them.”
“Hah. It’d be a burden now. If a bad mother like me suddenly shows up after they’ve forgotten about me, what will they think?”
“Don’t make excuses, you fool. Is your life just an excuse? You sent them away saying you had no choice? Don’t be ridiculous. You just gave up. Again, you lack the courage, right? Should I hold your hand and go with you?”
“Ex, excuse me! What would I do showing up as their biological mother? It’d just be awkward for them! What’s the point of going? It’d be for my own satisfaction!”
“How do you know they’re happy? Have you asked them directly? No! Go and ask them. Confirm for yourself whether your choice was right or wrong, you coward.”
“……”
The queen sister hung her head.
Was I overstepping my bounds considering my own miserable life?
She seemed to quiver her lips for a moment, then sniffled and looked up at me again.
“Are, are you really going to hold my hand and go with me?”
“I won’t hold your hand.”
“Geez! I’m asking if you’ll go with me! Why would I need to take your hand, we’re both women.”
“I keep my promises. If you’re scared, I’ll be by your side. So, later, let’s go see the kids together. Got it?”
“Yeah…”
Hearing her shy response almost made me burst out laughing.
This woman had acted all high and mighty as the queen sister until now, and it just struck me as funny.
The more I looked at her, the more ridiculous she was.
“But what’s your name? I only heard you being called the queen sister; I didn’t know your real name.”
“Irina. That’s my real name. Julia, what is your real name?”
“Just Julia.”
“What? That was your real name, not just a name you use at work?”
“Yeah. Is there a problem?”
“There is! Do you know how many bad customers there are in this business? You use your real name without a care! Hah, are you not afraid or just plain dumb?”
“I’m sorry for not knowing much about this line of work! Okay!”
“If you don’t know, learn from me. And…”
“And?”
“Tia. If you’re busy, should I help take care of her? I’m the only one who knows she’s a demon…”
Irina looked away from my gaze and struggled to utter her words.
What the…
Is this woman usually this soft-hearted?
“Don’t get me wrong! I’m just trying to fill the void left by sending my children away! It’s just for my personal desires! I’m not trying to help you!”
“Suit yourself. Do as you like. Should I head down now?”
“……”
She offered to help take care of Tia for free, and I had no real reason to refuse.
As I slowly extended my hand, Irina briefly gazed at my hand before gently taking it and standing up.
We then went out separately, maintaining a distance between us as we went down to the first floor.
Feeling awkward, we didn’t make eye contact for the rest of the day.