The Yellow-Haired Villain in Soaring Phoenix’s Novels Also Desires Happiness

Chapter 31, Dean

“Name?”

“Mu En·Campbell.”

“Age?”

“Eighteen.”

“Gender?”

“… Do you really need to ask?”

In the white hospital room, Mu En looked at the mature woman in professional attire and s*xy black stockings in front of him, unable to help but retort:

“Can’t you tell that yourself?”

“Of course I can.”

The mature woman, who was busy writing and drawing, lifted her head, adjusted her gold-rimmed glasses, and glanced at Mu En expressionlessly, saying:

“But as a psychological assessor, my job is to evaluate your mental state through these questions, so please cooperate and answer my questions. Thank you.”

“… Male.”

“Very good, there seems to be no problem with self-awareness for now, so…”

The mature woman took out a pair of men’s boxer shorts from a sealed bag and unfolded it in front of Mu En:

“Looking at this, do you have any special thoughts, Mu En?”

“… I find it very disgusting.” Mu En twitched his mouth.

“Is that so?”

The woman continued to lower her head, writing and drawing: “The subject shows a clear aversion to male items, suspected psychological tendency towards femininity…”

“Wait a minute!”

Mu En interrupted her, shocked:

“I just hate underwear worn by men! How does that relate to femininity?”

“Would a typical male dislike men’s underwear?”

The woman’s glasses sparkled with a wise light, as if she could see through everything: “Are you saying that you are currently wearing women’s panties? If that’s the case, it might be more serious, possibly…”

“I just hate things that others have worn! Anyone would feel disgusted by something that someone else has worn, right?” Mu En shouted angrily.

“Is that so? Sorry, it seems my experience in this area is insufficient.”

The woman suddenly realized, then lowered her head to record:

“However, the subject exhibits clear manic traits, not sure if it’s due to…”

“It’s because of you! I’m so angry because of you, you jerk!”

“The subject shows a clear desire for violence towards the assessor and speaks disrespectfully, suggesting…” the woman continued to write.

“……”

Numb.

Are all psychology students like this now?

Mu En decided to remain silent from now on, not giving this woman the chance to ramble on.

“The subject of the assessment has fallen into prolonged silence, suspected to have suffered a significant psychological blow from previous events. Electric shock therapy is recommended.”

“Enough already!”

……

……

“How is it?”

Celicia looked at the mature woman walking out of the room and asked:

“Is he okay, Dean Hathaway?”

“Of course, he’s fine.”

Hathaway glanced at the paper in her hand, on which she had drawn little red flowers, crumpled it up casually, and tossed it into the nearby trash can:

“Although he has sustained serious injuries, he has clearly undergone professional treatment. Now he is mentally refreshed and physically robust; it wouldn’t be a problem for him to date seven girls at once.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Celicia said.

“Oh? Are you that worried about him? Is it because he is your fiancé?” Hathaway teased, amused by Celicia’s serious demeanor.

“But I remember you used to dislike him quite a bit.”

“……”

“Alright, alright, no more jokes. Staring at me like that is quite frightening, my princess.”

Hathaway took off her gold-rimmed glasses, revealing a charmingly mature face:

“His mental state should be fine; there are no signs of contamination from the evil god.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.”

Hathaway smiled and said:

“I spoke with him for no more than ten minutes, and he glanced at my thigh at least twenty times. For an adult male, isn’t that a perfectly normal mental response?”

“……” Celicia’s gaze turned cold: “Dean Hathaway’s method of assessing mental state is truly interesting.”

“Alright, alright, don’t be angry. At least I helped you find out that guy particularly likes black silk, right?”

“I think the dean must be mistaken.”

Celicia lowered her gaze:

“I’m worried about him purely out of responsibility as the student council president; there are no other factors involved.”

“Hoh, let’s just pretend that’s what you think.”

“By the way, is Dean Hathaway’s work going smoothly?” Celicia changed the subject.

“Of course there are problems.”

The moment work was mentioned, Heather felt a headache coming on:

“There’s been no progress over there at all.”

“So difficult? I remember you were temporarily reassigned, and it was also related to the dark god, right?”

Celesia raised an eyebrow and asked:

“Can you tell me the specifics?”

“I can share part of it.”

“Part of it?”

“I was reassigned for two reasons; actually, one of them is a top-level imperial secret, and everyone who knows about it has to sign a non-disclosure agreement, so even you, Celesia, and I can’t reveal it.”

“The Pink Bear told me about it.”

Celesia nodded: “What about the other reason?”

“The other reason…”

Heather thought for a moment and said:

“This matter isn’t a secret among the imperial high-ups, and it doesn’t involve direct contact with the dark god, so it’s fine to tell you.

The specific situation is that a small village by Lake Baikal was destroyed overnight.”

“Overnight?”

Celesia’s gaze sharpened:

“What about the villagers?”

“All disappeared.”

Heather said seriously:

“We searched the entire village, and the only thing we found was a recently buried head under an unmarked gravestone.”

“A head?”

Celesia frowned.

Hundreds of people vanished, yet only a head was left behind; it was extremely eerie no matter how you looked at it.

“That’s right, a head, a female head, identified as a B-level adventurer registered with the Adventurers’ Association, who had applied to cease activities due to marriage. That village seems to be her hometown. Later, we conducted an examination of the head and confirmed it had been tainted by the dark god.”

“Which one?”

“Who else could it be? Naturally, it’s the most active among the dark gods, the God of Corruption.”

“Again, Him?”

Celesia’s expression darkened slightly.

That God of Corruption had appeared at the academy not long ago.

“Really busy, the God of Corruption.”

“Who says otherwise? I don’t know why a wicked god would be so diligent, making us ordinary people work ourselves to death as well.”

Heather gritted her teeth. If it hadn’t been for that love god invading while she was away from the academy, she would have personally rushed in with the grand artifact to tear him to pieces, avenging the overtime she had suffered these past few days.

“But… at this level, it shouldn’t be enough to leave you, Dean Heather, in such a bind, right?”

Cecilia asked with confusion:

“Although this sounds a bit cold, among the series of major events caused by the wicked god, destroying just one village isn’t even worth mentioning.”

“Exactly, just like an ordinary incident of wicked god pollution, they wouldn’t have me help out at all. After all, those silence-bearers the Empire raises aren’t just sitting around doing nothing.

But the problem is, this time the pollution… is too clean.”

At this point, there was a seriousness in Heather’s tone that she hadn’t even noticed herself.

“The scene was unnaturally clean; aside from the pollution in that head, we couldn’t find anything else. There were signs of a battle, yet we couldn’t detect even a hint of magical energy, as if everything had been wiped away by an invisible black hand.”

“No magical energy… is it a martial artist?”

“A magician, a martial artist, even a divine favored one; we’ve made many guesses, but we can’t find any traces or clues. These can only remain in the realm of speculation.”

“What about investigating the identity of that head’s adventurer?”

“That’s too difficult. Adventurers are a free profession, but the investigation revealed that her emotional ties with the two adventurer companions she was with were somewhat complicated, and those two adventurers have completely vanished.

So we suspect that her two adventurer companions might have perished in the incident, and their complicated feelings could have been the catalyst for being tainted by that God of Corruption.

But…”

Heather smiled bitterly: “Knowing this is completely useless; we still know nothing about the essence of the incident.”

“No wonder…”

Cecilia began to understand.

Compared to the large-scale pollution events that always brought endless troubles in the past, this special situation, clearly related to the wicked god yet leaving no traces behind, was even more unsettling.

It easily led one to suspect if this was yet another scheme of the wicked god.

Not to mention that this happened around Belrand.

No wonder those people above were so anxious they sent Dean Heather to investigate; her research focus was on wicked god pollution, and in this regard, few in the entire Empire could match her authority.

“Even for this matter, we spent quite a price to invite that great astrologer from the holy city, hoping to gain a hint through his grand prophecy technique.” Heather sighed, recalling the price paid to that great astrologer. Although it was reimbursed by the higher-ups, she still felt a bit pained.

If this could have gone through her hands, who knows how much she could have skimmed off.

“So, what was the result?” Cecilia asked curiously.

“Be careful of the blonde.”

“Huh?”

The usually cold Cecilia couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow, thinking she had misheard.

“You didn’t mishear; the result given by that great astrologer… was to be careful of the blonde.”

Heathervy covered her face and said:

“According to him, after all, there’s the influence of the evil gods. Even with that head as a medium, the images he saw were quite blurry. But in this blurry picture, he could distinguish an important figure in this matter, with striking yellow hair.

So he told us to be cautious of the yellow-haired one.”

“Yellow hair… that seems like a very broad category.”

“Exactly!”

Heathervy was in tears:

“This yellow hair, is it the kind that looks malnourished, or is it that shiny golden type? Is it long yellow hair or short yellow hair? He should have been more specific.”

“…”

“But even if he had been specific, what can I do? How many yellow-haired people are there in Belrand? Has anyone even kept count? Just one characteristic of yellow hair, how am I supposed to investigate further?”

Heathervy, with a face full of indignation, pointed around the room and said:

“Even your fiancé, Celicia, could be considered yellow-haired, right? Why don’t we just capture him and interrogate him? Maybe we’ll get some clues.”

“…Anyway, good luck.”

Celicia didn’t know what else to say and could only offer a dry consolation.

“Sigh, there’s been a mountain of troubles lately. I don’t know what those evil gods have suddenly gotten themselves into.”

Heathervy painfully rubbed her temples.

In fact, compared to the incident at Beipol Lake fishing village, another unspeakable matter was even more of a headache.

After all, the impact of the divine war was just too unpredictable. The entire upper echelon of Belrand was already on edge.

Moreover… this time, the academy was suddenly invaded by two evil gods working together.

Heathervy suspected that those evil gods had just held some kind of gathering, which is why they were causing trouble in droves.

“But it’s really impressive that you could still find time to come to the academy under these circumstances.”

Celicia said:

“Going back and forth like this must delay a lot of things.”

“Sigh, there’s no helping it. This is my favorite academy, after all. With such a big event happening, I have to come back and take a look.”

Heathervy gazed out at the scenery that had remained unchanged despite the turmoil, and finally couldn’t help but smile.

“But as for the affairs of the academy, I definitely don’t plan to get involved.”

At this point, Heathervy’s tone took on a hint of schadenfreude. It was as if she could see through the walls the pink bear and various professors, all flustered and overwhelmed by inquiries regarding the love god and the Silent Moon.

“Being able to temporarily shed the responsibilities of the principal seems… not too bad?”

……

……

“Holy sword? What holy sword?”

The pink bear slammed its paw on the desk and shouted at the man in silver knight armor in front of him:

“You need to speak with evidence! The Life Church lost the Holy Sword; what does that have to do with me or St. Maria Academy?”

“But…”

The knight dispatched by the Life Church gritted his teeth and said:

“According to our intelligence, when that love god manipulated the Holy Maiden of Purity to invade, she indeed used that Holy Sword.”

“Intelligence?”

The pink bear exaggeratedly widened its round, beady eyes:

“Our St. Maria Academy has always been managed in a closed-off manner. Where did you get your intelligence from?”

“I…”

The knight’s expression stiffened slightly.

“Could it be…”

The pink bear leaned in, its expression meaningful as it said:

“You were… deceived by some unscrupulous informant, weren’t you?”

“…You!”

The knight was furious:

“You better think clearly about the consequences; that is the Holy Sword of the Life Church!”

“Even if it’s the Life Church, you need to follow basic laws, right?”

The pink bear shrugged its arms and said:

“Today you say you lost the Holy Sword, tomorrow you say you lost the Holy Maiden; does that mean one day if your Pope loses his underwear, you’ll come looking for us at St. Maria Academy?”

“You! Scoundrel! You dare to blaspheme the great Pope!”

“Don’t talk nonsense; when did I blaspheme him? Does your Pope not wear underwear?”

“You’re asking for death!”

The knight, in a fit of rage, drew his longsword and swung it down.

However, he still retained a shred of reason, so the longsword did not strike the pink bear but instead cleaved the desk in half, intending to teach him a lesson.

But even though it was the desk that was cut, the pink bear let out a piercing scream:

“Ah, my desk!”

“What? What happened?”

Professor Gran, having heard the commotion, rushed in with a large group of teachers.

Quickly scanning the room, Professor Gran was taken aback and hurried to the side of the pink bear, helping him up:

“Dean Pink Bear, are you alright? Did he lay a hand on you?”

“Didn’t lay a hand on me, but my desk.”

“My desk…”

Professor Gran seemed to have just noticed the desk that had been chopped in half, and he immediately exclaimed in “horror”:

“Is this not your desk made from some ancient wood, worth as much as a holy sword…? How did it end up like this?”

“Chopped by him, my desk…”

The Pink Bear was “heartbroken,” holding onto the half-desk and wailing, looking utterly desperate as if it wished to go along with it.

“Too much, it’s simply too much!”

Professor Gran stood up straight, looking sternly at the twitching cheek of the knight from the Church of Life:

“What exactly did our Pink Bear Dean do wrong to deserve this? This desk is worth a fortune, and it’s the most beloved thing of the Pink Bear Dean. Even if you are from the Church of Life, you owe us an explanation!”

“What worth a fortune? It’s just a broken desk…”

“Furious and cold, when will the desk be able to stand again? Can’t a desk be worth a fortune? Do you even realize you’re discriminating against desks? I tell you, it is worth a fortune!”

Professor Gran puffed out his chest and said fiercely, “There are so many teachers here watching, don’t think you can back out of this!”

“You all!”

The knight’s face turned bright red, an endless rage surging in his chest.

As a knight of the Church of Life, how had he ever been subjected to such mockery?

What worth a fortune desk, you just want to wriggle out of your responsibility for my holy sword!

“Just wait, I will be back!”

Knowing that staying here would only lead to humiliation and do nothing else, the knight threw down a harsh word, waved his sleeve, and turned to leave.

“Next time you come, remember to bring the money to compensate for the desk.”

Watching the knight’s retreating figure, Professor Gran cheerfully whistled:

“Or you could bring another holy sword along.”

The knight stumbled at the door and quickly disappeared from the sight of the professors.

“To deal with such a stubborn church, it has to be you two.”

With a sigh that was uncertain whether it was relief or disdain, Professor Prang, leaning on his new cane, walked in.

“It’s all because that person just took the holy sword away without giving any assurance.”

Professor Gran said with a bitter face, “Otherwise, who would want to get involved with those people from the Church of Life? It’s a real hassle.”

“Hmph, I am the most unfortunate one, alright!”

The Pink Bear extended a furry hand from its mouth, lit a cigar, and sighed:

“I’m just an acting dean, yet I’ve offended quite a few people for the sake of the academy these days. What if they don’t let their pretty little sisters play with me anymore?”

“Who told the academy to be in such a precarious situation these days?”

Professor Gran sighed as well.

Although that individual had successfully resolved the incident of the invading evil god, the academy had not been faring well these past few days.

Due to the frenzy caused by the Silent Moon at that time, which attracted too much attention, various parties were now closely monitoring the academy. Many came under the guise of concern, but in reality, they were there to gather intelligence.

The Church of Life was relatively benign; they merely wanted to reclaim the Holy Sword.

But others were genuinely intent on prying out some deeply hidden secrets from the academy.

“So, during this time, I’ll have to trouble you, Dean Pink Bear.”

Professor Plang looked up, rarely displaying a “kind” smile.

“Huh?”

Dean Pink Bear jumped, dropping the cigar from his hand, staring blankly:

“Is it not over yet?”

“What are you talking about, Dean? There’s an important meeting waiting for you next.”

“What meeting?”

“A security inquiry meeting initiated by Marquis Colbert, with a whole bunch of nobles questioning us about the safety of our academy.”

“Is this meeting really that important?”

“Of course. I believe Dean Pink Bear should be well aware that a significant portion of our academy’s funding comes from those nobles’ donations.

So, if this meeting goes awry…”

Professor Plang fixed his gaze on Dean Pink Bear, his expression somewhat meaningful:

“The cigars and photographs you enjoy might just…”

“Be unavailable?”

“No, it means we’ll have to start investigating you for misappropriating public funds.” Professor Plang sneered:

“After all, for the academy back then, every penny was crucial.”

“……”

……

……