The Wolf, the Stag and the Snake (Book 1) - ASOIAF Fanfiction

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That was a quiet morning. The cold wind wasn't blowing, not even the snow was falling from the skies. It seemed almost the perfect weather for what was to come to the new recruits of the Watch.

Jon Snow was wearing his black clothes and gloves, his fingers weren't freezing like they did before. Maybe because of the weather, but part of him thought that he was getting used to the cold of the Wall. The first days had been difficoult, trying to not show how much the cold was affecting him; he thought he knew the cold of the North, but he didn't really. Not until he had arrived to the Wall.

"Why don't you ever wear cloaks?" Jon remembered when he was nothing but a child of seven, inside the warm walls of Winterfell and Cassie had been just six. It was the first time for her in the North and Jon remembered her face lighting up at the question; her lips turned up with a giant smile, that shown the missing front tooth, as she stood up with her feet on the wooden banch, before stepping on the table as Robb started laughing.

"Because I, Cassandra Baratheon, Keeper of Light, do not need them " she had said proudly from above him with a bow "Because I'm too strong!"

"Then I do not want cloacks too" Robb said standing up on the banch as well, but Cassie laughed. 

"Me too" Jon said following Robb "I'm strong too."

And Cassie scoffed "Oh my lords, please!" she said puffing her chest always proudly "I'm going to be the strongest Keeper at the Wall, the greatest warrior to be known and the best defender of the realm" she said in strong voice "I'll defend whoever needs my help, no one will ever suffer under my watch!"

That had been her oath. What Cassie had ever said from the very first day. And that was what she had always shown. Jon remembered her playing as the warrior in shining armour. She'd get along with the small folk easier as she had ever did with nobles. She'd help and she laughed and she was different. Robb was his brother, and he had always been his best friend, but also his rival. A costant remind that Jon was a bastard. He knew that. He had known it since he had memory, but somehow he never thought about that with Cassie. She had never treated him diffrently just because he was a Snow. 

When they met and she heard his name, she hadn't looked at him strangely. She smiled. Just smiled. She talked to him and searched for him when he was late and when they played, they would always fight together against Robb and Theon. And when there was a feast, they would ungreacefully dance together outside. Robb had Theon Greyjoy, Antea had Cyel Sand, Sansa had Jeyne Pool and Jon had Cassie. 

He always waited for her to come back in Winterfell. He had many happy memories with his brothers, with Arya, and many were shared with the strong opinionated black haired girl. They would run in the woods and roll in the mud and laugh. Every day, from dawn until sunset. 

It'd never felt like she was Cassandra Baratheon, the princess from King's Landing. She had always been just Cassie and he had always been just Jon.

Jon had imaginated his days at the Wall with Cassie to be very different from what they were now. He missed that girl, he missed his friend. 

Jon was there, on the field that morning. Sam was next to him trying to fix his armor as best as he could since he was holding his sword in one of his hands. Jon snorted affectionately when the blade fell at the boy's feet and he kneeled to pick it up for him.

"Are you nervous, Sam?" Jon asked with a smile.

"What makes you think that?" Sam said taking the sword from Jon's hand, before taking a deep heavy breath "I don't know if I'm ready for this, Jon" he said honestly "I mean... Fighting against the girls, they seem pretty violent."

Jon followed Sam's gaze on the Keepers of Light who were getting ready to fight. He saw Wylliana Manderly, her blond hair moving, following her body as she swang skilfully her long sword. Not so distant from her, there was Derya Rowen, that was waving her spear in her hands. Kyuna, a girl from the Iron Islands, was throwing axes to some stow dummies on the field, hitting them over and over. Then he saw Rose Rivers cocking the arrow, pulling it as gracefully as a lady, before releasing it, hitting the centre of the mark. For a moment Jon thought about what Theon Greyjoy would have thought of that girl, being that skilled with a bow. At the end Jon spotted Cassie. She was sitting on the steps of Castle Black, her Valyrian Steel daggers in hands as she observed the shining blades quietly. Cassie had never used those daggers in Winterfell, since Ser Rodrick didn't want for them to train with real steel. 

"Oh..." Sam said from next to Jon "You two are still not in speaking terms?"

"It's been two weeks, now" Jon's eyes never left Cassie's frame. The two of them hadn't spoken since their fight; he didn't want to. And apparently she didn't want that either. At least on something he recognized her; she was still stubborn.

He couldn't understand. He couldn't understand Cassie anymore. Why was she so different from his memories. Was that the real Cassandra Baratheon? It felt like she had been lying to him for all those years.

"Jon, are you listening?" He turned to Sam when he heard his voice.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Jon apologized.

"Are you worried? About the fight?" Jon looked the girls again. They sure seemed very skilled and of course it wouldn't been easy to beat them, from what he knew the five of them went frequently beyont the Wall. But Jon had already fought against Cassie, and he had already beaten her. He could do it again.

"No" he answered "Just remember to stay focused" Sam smiled at him and Jon returned the gesture.

Steps on the snow made them turn and they saw Ser Alliser and Lady Vyva approaching them. As they did the Night's Watch recruits lined up on the training field as the five Keepers of Light moved to stand in front of them, their weapons in their hands.

"Good morning" Lady Vyva spoke kindly, like always "You are here today to be tested as possible future rangers" Jon took a breath, he had to do well, he wanted to be a ranger "A ranger faces the North and it's creatures, wildlings and woman with our same powers. Keepers are dangerous, more than death itself" Jon's eyes moved towards Cassie that was observing lady Vyva.

Are you afraid of me, Jon Snow?

He remembered her asking him on his first day at the Wall. He had never been scared of Cassie, she had never been different from him. He knew of her powers, and how dangerous they could be, but Cassie had never felt like a threat. Her powers had never scared him.

"You need to learn a Keeper's way of fighting" Lady Vyva kept saying "How to predict our moviments, getting to know our strengths and weaknesses. To do so you'll be divided in five groups to..." But Ser Alliser interrupted the woman coughing. 

"I was thinking" he spoke with a devious smile on his face "That a demonstration is needed" his eyes fell on Jon, who didn't divert his gaze, wondering what was on that man's mind this time.

"I mean, we all know that the girls can't fully use their capabilities on them" he kept saying.

"What are you suggesting, Alliser?" lady Vyva asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"Since we have a very good sword man among the new recruits, we could let him fight against the best fighter among your girls. What do you think Lord Snow?" Jon already knew he was talking about him. For Thorne any excuse was good to make Jon work harder. His friends turned to him and Jon made a step forward, not wanting to show hesitance.

"If you think he is ready, go on" Lady Vyva said and Jon could swear he heard the man give a silent laugh at that. The woman didn't seem impressed by what he was proposing, so knowing that he had to fight he started to look at the girls, wondering who the best of them could be.

"Cassandra" Vyva said walking away from the field. Jon looked at Cassie, impressed that even if she was so young, she was the best of them, the three were all older of her and Rose had her same age. But Jon felt relieved, he knew already how Cassie moved, he was ready to fight her.

Cassie step forward until she took her position in front of Jon. Her blue eyes were looking at him coldly; he was sure that she had never looked even Theon with that gaze.

"Don't hold back, princess" Thorne said "It's a demonstration, fight like you do beyond the Wall." 

Cassie didn't even look at Thorne, before answer "If you think he can handle it." 

Jon frowned at her words, almost offended by them. So that's what they had come to now? Immediately he took his sword in hand and shield up. Cassie did the same with her daggers assuming the position.

"The rules are simple, the Keeper will try to subjugate you, so Jon, if Cassandra touches your neck, you have lost the fight" Jon nodded at Lady Vyva's words ready to fight.

"Begin" Thorne announced. 

Jon attacked first and Cassie blocked it with her dagger, moving his arm so Jon's chest wasn't covered. He immediately raised his shield and Cassie gave a push on it with her foot. Jon fought to keep his balance, surprised by her move and when she attacked, he managed to block a couple of blows but with difficulty. It was so different, totally different from how she fought in Winterfell. She was faster and unpredictable, it was like she had more than two hands. Not even a movement was casual or uncertain, it was like she knew exactly what he would do next. Her feet knew perfectly where to step and her arms knew what movement they had to do to lead the fight exactly where she wanted. It wasn't like she trained all her life; it was like she trained every single minute of it. Her skills were superior from his, highly superior. Now Jon understood why she laughed at their wooden swords back in Winterfell. Suddenly with one dagger she blocked his sword making his wrist turning a strange position, so he couldn't move and with a fast movement her cold hand was around his neck. 

Jon looked shocked at her. Where did her other dagger disappear? He looked down and he noticed the dagger held in a hidden pocket behind Cassie's back. He now noticed for the first time that Cassie's vest was full of belts and on her lather corset he now noticed many hidden pockets. He could feel her hand moving strangely, and in her eyes Jon noticed a strong concentration, as if she was battling herself, as if she was restraining herself.

Thorne's voice echoed in laughter "I thought you would have taken longer, princess. I know how you like to fight."

Cassie removed her hand from Jon's neck before putting her daggers back in her belt "You said he could handle this" she said with a cold tone "Well, he couldn't."

Jon heard bitterness in her voice, like she wanted to make a point. She then turned without spearing a glance to him, who tightened his grip around his sword, before going back to the boys.

Thorne called out two boys to go and train with Wylliana and Kyuna, so Jon went to a side throwing his sword on the snowy ground. He wasn't angry that Cassie had beaten him, but because she had lied all her life to him, even about her fighting skills. 

Antea had never understood Cassie, but she had always said to Jon that the only person that really knew the princess was him. Not even Robb. Only Jon. But that was no true. Cassie had never shown herself to anyone. Not even him.

How could he never have noticed the real her? How could she had lied to his face for years?

"Don't get angry" a voice made him turn to see Derya Rowen with her back against the wall and her arms crossed over her chest not so far from him. 

"What?" Jon asked unsure if he was supposed to reply.

The girl looked at him with her green studying eyes. The two of them had spoken breafly, sometimes she would sit with them listening to Pyp's stories and jokes. But Jon had noticed Derya's gaze on him sometimes, during trainings or during meals.

"Over Cassandra, I mean" she said calmly "You'll get use to her eventually" her gaze fell on Cassie, who was now watching Wylliana training with Grenn. He saw Cassie's cold eyes warm up in a small smile at Grenn falling on the ground and then Jon looked back at Derya.

"Has she always been like this?" Jon asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"You mean full of herself? Yes, she was" Derya answered simply and Jon took a breath, not even knowing what he was expecting to hear. 

"Well, no, that is not entirely true" Derya spoke again after a moment of silence "We've never gotten along, I have to admit it. But the truth is that everything went down the hill after her first mission beyond the Wall, maybe she felt better than anyone because she was nine."

"Nine?" Jon exclaimed almost shocked. Cassie went beyond the Wall when she was just nine years old? Why hadn't she ever told him? Or Robb?

Derya looked at him with surprise in her eyes "It is strange she didn't tell you, I thought she was supposed to be your friend" then she chuckled to herself "Oh right, she doesn't have any." 

"I thought..." Jon muttered more to himself and he noticed Derya's eyes on him, as she was sorry for him.

"Listen, you seem a nice guy, so I'll be honest to you" she said almost kindly "I've watched you, you are gentle to everyone and we all like you in our way. I don't understand why you seem to care so much about Cassandra."

"She is my best friend. I know her since we were children" Jon said almost defensively.

"Right, you are Lord Stark's bastard" he nodded confused by her surprise "She told us she knows your father, but she never said anything about..." She stopped with an apology look. 

Jon's eyes fell on Cassie set on the wooden step of the stairs alone watching who was training on the field. Why hadn't she ever spoken about him or his brothers to anyone? Cassie liked to be in Winterfell with Jon's family. His siblings loved her and Robb and him were very close to her. Why? 

"I'm sorry, Jon, but that's who she is. At first, she seems great. I remember when she arrived here, I was so inspired by her" Derya said looking at Cassie "Just at five she was able to fight properly and she managed to fully control her powers at seven" Derya kept saying fixing her gaze on Jon's "But then she became distant and cold and what is worst is that she doesn't care to hurt feelings" Jon felt uncomfortable and for a moment he felt like they weren't talking about the same person anymore. They couldn't be talking about the Cassie that he knew "That's who Cassandra Baratheon is, you don't want her as an enemy, nor a friend" then she put her hand on Jon's shoulder "I'm sorry".

Derya moved past him to go to the field. Jon just looked at his feet, unable to think about anything.

All his life he had cared about this girl, calling her his best friend, when she didn't even ever talk about him or his brothers. 

How could I not see it? He thought bitterly. He had always defended Cassie when Theon Greyjoy said nasty things about her and as much as Jon hated to admit it, maybe Theon had been right all along.

Robb would know what to think? Jon wished to have his brother next to him. Robb had always something to say even in situations like that. He wondered what Robb would have thought of Cassie's behavior and about Derya's words.

"That is not true, you know?" Jon turned when he heard Rose's sweet voice "Not entirely, anyway".

Rose set on a close barrel, gesturing him to sit on the one next to her. Jon looked at the sweetest of the girls at the Wall, her eyes were clouded and were begging him to listen, so he just set next to the her, afraid to feel disappointed again.

"I'm sorry" she apologized "I've heard what Derya said and I have to defend Cassie."

Jon frowned "Why?"

"Because she is my friend" Rose said strongly "And yours too" a bitter laugh left his lips and he could feel the girl's gaze fixed on him. A friend would have helped him when he arrived at the Wall, friends didn't insult each other or ignore each other and surely friends talked about one another.

"Derya didn't lie" Rose said after a minute of silence "Cassie seems like that from the outside and I would be lying if I say that she is an example of kindness but…" Jon noticed Rose's eyes watering, like she wanted to say something but she couldn't "She cares about people. And she cares about you. She will never admit it, not even to herself, but she does. That's why she acts like that." 

"I know you care about her" Jon said shaking his head "But I don't think she had ever been my friend." his own words sounded so sour in his mouth. Never, in his whole life, Jon Snow would have thought of saying those words about Cassie.

"You understand one another so much" a five years old Arya said to him once puffing her cheeks and he smiled fondly at his little sister.

"So do we" he said, but she shook her head.

"Not in the same way" she answered, making him frown "You do not smile so much when Cassie is not here, and you always defend her."

"She defends me as well" Arya nodded her head quietly "And Cassie is my best friend" he said pocking her side making her giggle "Do not be jelous. One day you'll find one yourself." 

He had always defended Cassie, he had always thought that she would have stood by his side through everything. But it did not felt like that anymore. Jon was ready to stand up, when Rose put a hand on his forearm stopping his movient.

"Please don't do this, Jon" she said her hand shaking against him "Don't push her away."

"She is the one who pushes everyone away" Jon argued with a frown on his face. He never pushed her away, he would have never done it.

"You know a side of her that was long forgotten" Rose said with sad eyes "A side of her that I thought was lost. Don't do this, do not shut the light that had been lit again." Jon could see how desperate she was.

"What do you mean?" Jon asked confused.

"This is not a life of kindness, Jon" Rose answered letting go of his forearm "Cassie knows no kindness, but yours. Trust my words. There are reasons why Wylly and I are her friends and believe me when I say that she cares about you" she then put her hand on his "Cassie does not let people in, but I'm afraid that many reasons made her become like this" Rose then stood up and walked away.

The day was passing, it was already late afternoon and the wind was rising. Jon hadn't spoken for the rest of the day, his mind was too busy. Rose's words eased his thoughts, but another part of himself was worried for Cassie. Now that he was thinking about it, Cassie had never spoken about herself. She never talked about her family, not even ones. He never knew of her siblings names, or age. She never spoke about her uncles or the King and the Queen. And judging by how she acted the last time in Winterfell, she didn't get along with any of them. Cassi would ignored them, glare at them. No one excluded. Not even Lord Tyrion, who Jon found please to talk to. She had never spoken about the Wall. She had never spoken about Rose or Wylliana. She had never spoken of her going beyond the Wall, or her missions with his Uncle Benjen. She would always said that being at the Wall was tirying and cold. But she never spoke of much more. 

Why? 

"Cassandra destroyed you" Pyp laughed at Sam as he was helping him to remove the armor.

"Well… Not that… I am this… great warrior" seeing them struggle to get the armor off, Jon walked closer.

"Thank you" Sam said once freed from the metal cloth, Jon forced a little smile and went to take off his own. One by one every men left the armory leaving just Jon with Sam. His friend was just standing there looking at Jon.

"You can go if you want" Jon knew how much Sam liked be inside the walls of Castle Black, sheltered from the cold. He wanted to go back to his cell to be with Ghost, that always waited for him quietly.

"No, I'm alright" Sam said with a smile "Are you?" Jon turned to him. That boy was smart and kind and Jon was glad he had met him, they were becoming friends everyday more. It was nice to have someone to trust to.

"I don't know" Jon answered honestly.

"Oh... how come?" Sam asked curiously. Jon took an heavy breath before telling Sam what had happened that day; he told her about what Derya and Rose had told him and how his friendship with Cassie has grown over the years and how confused he now was about her behavior. He felt better saying out loud what he had in his mind.

"Actually, I find her nice" Sam said sitting on a bench.

Jon frowned at those words "She is never nice to you, Sam. She always treats you badly" Cassie had done it even that day. She had told Sam that he would have died soon, she always made comments like those whenever she saw him training.

"She didn't even help you to stand up" Jon continued "And your ankle was hurt."

"Yes, but she doesn't do that to humiliate me, Jon" Sam stated calmly "She doesn't laugh at me" Jon thought about that and what Sam was saying was the truth. Many men laughed at Sam, and even many girls, but Cassie had never even smirked. Not even once. She would observe him with cold and studying blue eyes, arms crossed and her lips would move only when she reprooved him with some hursh comments.

"Of course, I'm not saying she is gentle" Sam said with a small smile "But I think she is only trying to help. I mean, after what happened I'm sure she knows what is best."

Jon frowned at those words "After what happened? What do you mean?" 

Sam looked at him with wide eyes "You don't know?" He asked and Jon only moved closer to his friend, not understanding what was the meaning behind his words "Oh I thought that… Since she is your friend, she had told you." 

I thought she was, Jon thought bitterly. How could he call her like that if she had never talked about important things of hers?

"Cassandra is a very talented Keeper" Sam started to say looking around to be sure nobody was there "And she was one of the only two girls to go beyond the Wall at the age of nine in centuries, usually the more skilled once go when they are around twelve" Sam's eyes were glowing like Sansa's and Bran's when they talked about the stories their Father had told them. Jon was impressed and he couldn't believe Cassie had never told him. "Cassandra had gone with a small party. They were very few, not many, but something must have gone wrong because Cassandra was the only one who survived, barely survived" Jon couldn't hide his surprise to hear that. How strong was Cassie to being able to survive just at nine? Robb would have never stop asking questions out of excitement, while Theon Greyjoy would have become green of envy if she had told them. 

"How do you know all of that?" Jon asked.

Sam smiled "I read it in the library. They keep everything on parchment about the girls, especially skilled girls like Cassandra" Jon was impressed even if he knew that Sam often went to read to escape the cold. Jon would rather spend a whole day in his room than going in that dusty place, he wasn't much of a reader.

"Now you see why I trust your friend?" Sam said with a smile "She knows what she is doing. I appreciate her advises, they do not need to be nice. And you should stop being angry at her. Cassandra can't be the same girl she is at Winterfell, here. As I'm sure you are not the same boy you once were." 

Probably Sam was right, Cassie had spent all her life protecting the realm, she was skilled and strong. Maybe she had never talked about those stuff because she never thought that one of the Starks would ever been at the Wall. Jon of course didn't agree with her methods, but Cassie had always been very blunt on telling what she thought and she was more expert than him for sure. Jon knew that Cassie would have never say sorry, she had always been too proud and maybe for this time Jon should make the first step.

He looked for Cassie at lunch, but she wasn't in the great hall. So, he decided to ask to Wylliana and Rose. He knew the both of them shared the cell with Cassie. The girls told him she was in her room. She was not hungry. Jon frowned at those words Cassie loved to eat, he had never seen her miss a meal.

Jon had never been in the Keepers' section of Castle Black, not that it was different from men's; it was dark and cold, but he felt a bit embarrassed when some girls exited their cells to go have lunch. They observed him and some smiled at him before walking away. Jon was supposed to be used to girls' presence due to his three sisters, but being in a section of women who were not his siblings made him slightly uncomfortable.

"Jon, hello!" A cheerful voice made him turn. Hydi was there smiling at him like always. That girl was maybe a few years older than Arya and sometimes she reminded his little sister to him. He missed all his brothers but Arya was the one he missed most and sometimes it was difficult to be near that girl.

"Hello" he answered with a small smile.

"Why are you here?" She asked curiously like always.

"I was looking for Cassie" he said looking around him "But… I don't know where her cell is" the corridor was full of doors and mostly of them were closed, he couldn't knock on each of them.

Hydi let out a light laugh "I know where it is. Turn left at the end of the corridor, her room is the third on the right" she said pointing her finger showing him were to go. 

"Thank you, Hydi" the girl smiled widely and when he turned to go away, she called him again.

"Where is Lord Puffy?" Jon smiled at her question, knowing who she was talking about.

"Sam's in the library" Hydi nodded with happy eyes.

"He promised to teach me how to write my name" She said before starting to run away "See you later, say Cassandra hello."

Jon observed the girl disappearing around a corner, smiling to himself. She was honestly the happiest girl at the Wall, most were very silent, it was nice to have someone who laughed so much around.

He followed Hydi's directions and he found himself outside Cassie's door. It was ajar and Jon could see her sitting on her bed, her black hair covered her face, but it seemed that she was looking at the needlework in her hands. He didn't know she could sew. She seemed very focused on the piece of black cloth where she was sewing on. It wasn't clear what she was trying to embroider, but from the look on her face Jon could tell she wasn't satisfied.

"Fuck!" Cassie exclaimed suddenly. Her needlework was on the ground and she brought her finger to her lips. Jon let out a quiet snort shaking his head, but it didn't go unnoticed to the Keeper of Light.

"Hydi, I told you. I'm not hungry, go away!" Cassie exclaimed looking at the door. Jon opened it, stepping in the room making Cassie frown in surprise.

"Hello" he said.

"What are you doing here?" Jon shook his head at her, but before he could answer his gaze fell behind Cassie. On her bed there was a doll, a stuffed doll with a blue dress and daises on it. He knew that doll.

"I can't believe it" he said with a smile "Is that Daisy?" His father always gave his daughters dolls like that. Antea had one with roses on her dress. He didn't think she had brought it to the Wall.

Cassie turned and in a quick movement she covered the doll with her pillow. Jon looked at her confused, why would she cover it?

The girl looked at him again like nothing has happened and crossing her arms over her chest, she asked "What do you want, Jon?" 

There were many things that he wanted to ask her; he had so many questions in his mind, but he knew that she would have never answered. She would have gotten angry and yelled at him. And he didn't want to argue, so he pushed all his questions aside.

"I just..." He started taking a breath "I'm really sorry about our argument" Cassie looked at him surprised.

"Truly?" She asked softly with wide and surprised eyes.

"Of course" he said nodding his head "You are my best friend" Cassie let a small smile appear on her face, but she turned away from him "I'm sorry I judged without knowing. Not thinking that you had reasons to behave like you did."

Cassie turned towards him again blinking her eyes in confusion "Reasons?"

Jon nodded his head "Why hadn't you ever told me about your first mission beyond the Wall?" 

In that moment Cassie froze; her eyes looked him up and down and her hands closed in fists, they were so tight that her knuckles had become white.

"How do you know about that?" She asked with wide eyes.

"It's written in the library" he answered unsure, frowning when he saw her turning her back at him and walking to the window, gripping the cold stone with her fingers, as if she wanted to find safety, like she was about to fall.

"You shouldn't know that" she said.

Jon frowned "Why?"

"Because this does not concern you!" she exclaimed "It does not concern anybody!" Jon got closer to her; he wasn't understanding what was going on.

"Why, Cassie?" He asked softly "What you did was impressive, being able to do what you did just at nine is…"

"You are an idiot" Cassie said coldly, but before she could walk away Jon stopped her gripping her by the arm. She turned to him surprised and angry "Let me go."

"No" he exclaimed "No, if you don't tell me what is happening to you!" Cassie shook her head looking angrily at her feet "Cassie, please talk to me" he was so confused by her, why was she so angry? 

Cassie took her arm away from his grip "Do you want to know how impressive it was?" She said looking at him in the eyes, but there was something different in her gaze.

"The day lady Eloyse told me I was going beyond the Wall, it had been probably one of the best days of my life. I couldn't wait to write to my father to let him know, so that he could have told that to everyone. To make them all proud" she said taking a breath "But it wasn't the only reason. The same day, lady Eloyse told the same thing to Aesteria. She was thirteen, I was nine and we both couldn't wait to defend the Seven Kingdoms" Cassie laughed strangely "I remember that Rose was very worried about the both of us, but we laughed at her, telling her that we were ready and we would have been back soon" Jon didn't know why, but he seemed unable to smile.

"We went beyond the Wall with two Keepers and two rangers" she kept saying "The mission was simple, it was so simple, Aesteria and I had to spy on a small group of wildlings, just watch them and we did, but we didn't know we have been watched too" Jon looked Cassie's eyes fixed in front of her "They followed us to our camp without us realizing it, but they were more, so many more. And they attacked us at night. I didn't know what to do, in a moment I had forgotten everything that I knew.

"Suddenly I heard someone screaming and Lauren was on the ground. Her throat had been cut and her empty eyes were looking at me. In that moment I realized I was going to die. But I didn't want to die. And when three wildlings surrounded me, I fought them. Just like Sandor had taught me; or me or them. I choose me" then she turned to look at Jon "That was the first time I killed a man" Jon bit his lip; she was just nine.

"Hugo came to me telling me to run away" Cassie said "The Keepers are always the first to be killed. So, I ran to help Aesteria, something slashed my side but I kept running taking her by the hand. I don't know for how much we ran and for how much they followed us, but suddenly Aesteria fell at my feet. An arrow on her back, another on her leg. She screamed to me to run away. But I couldn't. She was the first friend I made at the Wall" Cassie's eyes watered "So I dragged her in the snow. I could hear their steps, but I couldn't see them, I couldn't see anything. So, I laid down covering the both of us with snow and dirt. Only in that moment I realized they had hurt my side, but I couldn't move to see how bad it was. I could just hold Aesteria's hand. I still don't know how they didn't found us, but when I moved I realized that Aesteria was dead" Jon's hands moved to cover his mouth "I stayed by her side all day, nobody would have found me, I was alone. I was tired and wounded. I just wanted to die" Cassie's hands shook slightly, and she stopped to observed them closely as they stilled. And the she spoke again "But at the end, I choose myself again. I left Aesteria there and I walked in the snow for days, I don't even remember how many. But I arrived at the Wall. Benjen was the one who found me in the snow. When I came back, it was night and the first thing that was asked to me was if I remembered the Wildlings' plans" Cassie turned again towards Jon, her eyes were watering but they were cold "That day I understood that nobody cares about you. Nobody saved me, I saved myself, but there was nothing heroic about it. I just wanted to live" She stated "See, how impressive I was?" Cassie said bitterly "How this all place is? Nobody will care if you live or die. You are no knight; no one will sing songs about you. And nobody will miss you. You are just the first who will die."

Jon looked at her, his eyes were full of tears. He could just think about his always happy little friend running for her life alone and in the cold. How didn't he notice how much she was suffering? 

"Cassie..." He said stepping closer to her. But she moved away.

"Get out" Cassie said turning away from him.

Jon looked at her and a tear rolled down his cheek "Cassie… I'm so sorry"

"Just get out, Jon" at her words Jon moved walked away and while closing the door he looked at his friend, who had never been so broken.