Splintering [30]
The bizarre thing about having friends for a long time is how they grow to become a part of your environment. After they show up in your life repeatedly over the course of a few years, they're ingrained in your world. Sometimes you'll forget they're not just a part of your reality. You can take their presence for granted. And then they're gone.
Usually Zoe can walk down a specific street in the morning to find Jamison. His route to school hardly ever changed over the years. Sadly Zoe can't find him today. He's either taken a different route, or he's ridden a car to school.
Stupid Jamison...
Zoe stomps her way toward the school with her dark hair swishing behind her. The walk to the school is uneventful. Zoe glances down at her phone, checking the group chat. There's a few messages. Nothing from Jamison.
Derek: Yo
Theo: Yes?
Derek: Wanna mess around in the woods after school?
Theo: I think I should work on my homework.
Derek: Wbu Zoe?
Derek: Plzzz
Zoe: Fineee!
Derek: :)
The sound of a car passing by catches Zoe's attention. She looks up to see an expensive car with blacked out windows. The vehicle slows to a stop out front of the school. Out steps a tall boy. He's wearing a white polo, blue jeans, and some very nice looking sneakers. Zoe squints at the boy for a moment. He looks familiar.
Jamison?
Zoe goes to approach him. The bell ringing gives her pause, but she presses forward regardless. Jamison's tall self looks more standoffish than usual. His clothes look way pricier. Zoe goes to grab his wrist, but he pulls his hand up to avoid it. She looks up to see him staring down at her icily. There's none of the usual warmth in his eyes.
"I would prefer if you didn't touch me." Jamison says in an unfamiliar tone.
Jamison's cold shoulder shocks Zoe. She's known Jamison for years, yet he's never acted this way. Zoe has never met his father, either. He's likely the one behind this. Jamison walks off with the flow of students into the school. Zoe feels a hand on her shoulder.
Zoe looks up to see Derek's familiar face. Derek is scowling at Jamison as he keeps a firm yet not too tight grip on Zoe's shoulder. Tracy is standing beside Derek with her arms crossed over her chest.
"He's really done it now." Derek mutters darkly.
Zoe's face scrunches up as she struggles to hold back her emotions. Frustration and betrayal flash across her small face as she stares at Jamison's back.
"Why is he acting like that?" Zoe asks softly.
Tracy gently places her hand on Zoe's back, rubbing her comfortingly. Derek pulls his hand from Zoe and starts to walk toward the school.
"He's just behaving how his daddy wants him to." Tracy sighs.
Zoe manages to bottle up her emotions as Tracy pulls her toward the school. The taller girl gently takes Zoe's hand, guiding her. Zoe's heart hurts.
~
The ticking of the clock serves as a reminder of the passage of time. Zoe's eyes follow the second hand as it moves in jerky motions. The hands of the clock rotate based on predefined rules, therefore they can be predicted. Zoe sighs.
If only people were predictable...
Zoe's eyes move from the clock to the book in her hands. She once liked this book. It really isn't keeping her interest anymore. The story started out as engaging, but stagnated around chapter thirty. Zoe's eyes flit to her worksheet.
Questions asking about the content of chapter thirty fill the page. One question's answer space is filled with Zoe's somewhat neat handwriting. Her doe eyes follow the curves of the letters. She smiles at a memory of the chicken scratch she used to write.
The memory of her old handwriting shifts Zoe's attention to the girl sitting on her left. Tracy is busy reading her copy of the book. The way Tracy rests her pencil on her bottom lip brings a smile to Zoe's face. Tracy's toned body draws Zoe's gaze down.
Maybe I should work out?
She does look pretty good.
The ticking of the clock and rustling of paper remind Zoe of her assignment. She takes a deep breath and looks back at her book. The words on the page gradually start to flow as she reads them. The characters' personalities grow with each paragraph. Zoe's interest feels... rekindled.
Then the bell rings. Zoe blinks in surprise as other students turn in their worksheets at the front of class. Panic floods Zoe's mind as she hurriedly scans her worksheet. Her pencil slides along the paper fluidly as she quickly writes down her answers. Mrs. Johnson approaches.
"Mr. Kim..." Mrs. Johnson urges Zoe.
Zoe cringes at the way she addresses her, but it can't be helped. She's not quite ready to fully come out to the school. Zoe scrawls the last of her answers in a rush. She quickly passes the worksheet to Mrs. Johnson, and picks her bag up.
Mrs. Johnson's hand gently stops Zoe from walking out. She's just holding it in Zoe's way as if to say to wait. She reads over Zoe's worksheet before turning to look at her.
"Ryker-" Mrs. Johnson starts.
Hearing that name out of the blue causes Zoe immense discomfort. She feels a little nauseous. Her complexion pales immediately. Mrs. Johnson frowns, her eyebrows furrowing in concern.
"Would you prefer if I just referred to you as 'Kim' during class?" Mrs. Johnson asks.
Zoe immediately nods her answer. She's relieved when Mrs. Johnson gestures for her to go ahead to lunch. The conversation replays in Zoe's mind as she leaves the classroom. Her mood improves without her noticing, and she starts smiling.
Tracy is waiting for Zoe just outside the classroom. She perks up upon seeing Zoe walk out of the classroom. The taller girl sighs softly as they enter the cafeteria.
"Something wrong?" Zoe asks her.
Zoe and Tracy walk over to join the lunch line like usual.
"I'm just not sure how to feel about things lately." Tracy mumbles.
Tracy's words resonate with Zoe. She tunes out the chatter of the cafeteria as she thinks. Lately things have been so messy and complicated. People confessing their feelings. Going on dates. Doing adult activities she never used to think about. Zoe almost misses how things were before that fateful evening. Almost.
Zoe's thoughts peter off as she and Tracy get their food. The rather nasty bean burrito on her tray isn't very appetizing, but it's what she's got. The two girls make their way to the usual table. The atmosphere feels so much emptier than it did yesterday.
"Sup." Tracy greets.
"Hey." Derek replies.
Derek and Theo are both sitting at the usual table, but there's an empty seat between them. Theo doesn't say anything. He's busying himself with a calculus worksheet. The amount of writing on the paper is a little concerning.
Zoe sits down beside Derek in her usual seat. Tracy sits to her left. The lack of the group's leader feels a little strange. Jamison's absence is felt by everyone.
"So, are we all just going to mope about that loser being gone?" Derek remarks.
Tracy looks up from her burrito.
"I mean, he was kind of emo, but he was still a decent guy." Tracy replies.
Zoe nods in agreement.
"I like Jamie a lot!" Zoe chirps.
"Why're you calling him Jamie?" Derek questions.
This brings a slight blush to Zoe's cheeks. She didn't really start calling him that for any particular reason, but the context is a little embarrassing. Images of yesterday evening flash through Zoe's head as she looks at Derek's confused expression.
"N-No reason!" Zoe stammers a little too loudly.
Derek smirks in amusement at Zoe's clear distress. She's got that rosy hue covering her adorable face, and he can't get enough of it. Tracy smiles for the same reason Derek does. Unlike the other two, Theo isn't paying any attention to those around him. He quietly puts away his stuff.
Theo gets up from the table.
The others watch the bespectacled boy walk away from the table without a word. He's busy weaving through the crowd, and doesn't look back. Zoe frowns bitterly as Theo turns his back on them much like Jamison did. It feels like deja vu.
"What's his problem?" Derek huffs.
Derek looks just as hurt as Zoe. Normally Derek puts on a tough front, but these are his childhood friends, too. He takes a bite of his food with a scowl on his face. Zoe's expression shifts to one of concern for her friend.
"I'm sure he's just taking the whole Jamison thing harder than the rest of us." Zoe makes an excuse for Theo.
Zoe watches Derek's face for a change in mood. He finally shifts his frown to a neutral expression as he looks up to address Zoe.
"I guess that might be it." Derek admits.
"Yeah." Tracy adds.
The quiet sound of chewing is drowned out by the din of the cafeteria.
I wonder where Jamison is going to eat his lunch?
~
The faint sounds of teenagers talking and chairs being moved across tile echoes down the hallway. Sitting on the tile floor is a lunchbox, filled with various snack items. The boy sitting beside this lunchbox chews upon a leftover slice of pizza.
What the hell am I doing this for?
Jamison takes a bite of his pizza slice. The amount of pizza left over after last night's fiasco wasn't huge, but it was enough for Jamison to bring some to school as lunch. The pizza doesn't taste as good without his friends.
Quiet footsteps approach the area Jamison is sitting at. He glances up to see a boy even taller than him walking over. The taller boy looks a little confused upon seeing someone sitting here. He takes a deep breath, and walks over.
"Ah... Hi." The taller boy says.
"Uh... Hello?" Jamison replies.
The taller boy is wearing a grey sweater that hides the shape of his body. He takes a seat a short distance away from Jamison, and starts to eat his burrito. This taller boy looks somewhat familiar, but Jamison can't place why.
"I was just wondering... are you okay?" The taller boy asks.
Jamison frowns at the boy's question. He decides to answer him on a whim.
"No, not really." Jamison replies.
The taller boy doesn't know how to respond to Jamison's curt reply. He eventually works up the courage to continue the conversation.
"Do you mind telling me why?" The taller boy asks.
"Recently I've cut some of my closest friends out of my life, and I really regret it." Jamison explains.
The taller boy frowns, pouting slightly as he considers Jamison's predicament.
"Why did you cut them out in the first place?" The taller boy asks.
"My father told me to do it. He said I was be failing him as a son. He wants me to associate with 'high class individuals' or something like that." Jamison sighs.
Jamison's food tastes stale as he swallows it. The taller boy frowns at Jamison before finally giving him some advice.
"I think you should just go be with your friends." The taller boy says.
Jamison huffs, glaring at the strange boy.
"Maybe you should just shut up about stuff you don't understand, dude." Jamison snaps.
Strangely the much larger boy flinches at Jamison's words. The boy looks down at his feet. He pulls his legs close to his chest, and rests his head on his knees. The position reminds Jamison of someone. He decides to apologize.
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to snap at you like that." Jamison apologizes.
Instead of being relieved or cordial, the taller boy flinches once again. Jamison's eyes widen as he watches the taller boy begin to cry. Tears fall down from his face and into his lap. The sight of such a large boy crying is a shock to the system.
"A-Are you ok, dude?" Jamison asks gently.
"I'm a girl." The girl manages to choke out.
Jamison's perspective shifts rapidly as he looks at the girl sitting beside him for the first time. Recognition flickers through his brown eyes as he sees familiar traits in the girl sitting beside him. He carefully words his reply.
"What's your name?" Jamison asks.
"Matthew." The girl replies somberly.