The Will of Gil (Gilderoy Lockhart SI)

Closing the door quietly, I quickly walk off down the hallway and out of the apartment building, ready to get home. I had a lovely night last night with this woman who I can't seem to recall the name of, and I could probably use my Occlumency, but I don't want to waste my time on a woman I probably won't meet again.

Of course, I am not an asshole about it, I have been spending every other night with a different female fan, and I have perfected a perfect system. Before I go to meet my partner for the night, I bring with me several pepper-up potions and the purpose of these potions is several.

I had learned to prepare after my first time with the first woman to extend an offer to me, and she was a heavily experienced woman. So I was pretty wiped out falling asleep before her, and then it was a somewhat awkward experience in the morning. It was my actual first time when I wasn't on an aphrodisiac, and I wasn't on dragon blood this time.

So I decided to put my new skills to the test and erased this memory from her mind, making her think she had just had a calm night and went to bed. And then, I contacted her again the next day to hook up, but this time I went out and bought several pepper-up potions using a disguise since I didn't want to affect my reputation and brought them with me.

Some people might look down on me for using such a method, but to them, I say fuck off. Unlike muggle alternatives that have different, sometimes serious side effects, pepper-up potions only have one side effect, which is making steam burst from your ears when you ingest it. So all it does is energise you. with such a magical and practical solution before you, why wouldn't you use it?

Needless to say, the second time around was a much different experience, much more enjoyable for both my partner and me. First, I took a pepper-up potion before I met her at her place, right outside the door. Then if I needed to take it again in the midst of our activities, I would transition us so that she was on her hands and knees, and then I would take a pepper-up potion again, where she wouldn't see the steam erupt from my ears.

And then, in the morning, while my partner is thoroughly tired out, I would wake up and take another pepper-up potion. Then, thoroughly energised, I would check out the kitchen and what food there was and perhaps make myself some breakfast and then make some breakfast for my partner and leave them a note that I had some business to attend to. Of course, the food might be cold by the time they wake up, but it is the thought that counts, and it leaves them with a good impression of me.

Of course, I take the opportunity while they are still asleep and exhausted to check out their minds to see if they have any nefarious intentions, I do this when I first meet them as well, but that is just a brief look to see if there is anything dangerous they have planned for me since I want to get straight to business.

Some of them actually have plans to get pregnant and then marry me, but that won't work since I always use contraceptive spells. Then there are even some of them planning to go to the Daily Prophet and make up stories and lies about me for fame and attention. So I make some slight alterations there to make sure that they don't, and I also make sure that each of my partners will never tell anyone about their night with me, regarding it as a special secret.

However, over time and the more experience I gain and the more women I meet up with, the fewer pepper-up potions I need. Usually, I just have maybe one during our night together and then one in the morning so that I can get out of there before they wake up and want to actually do other stuff. I don't need anything like that right now. I am young and have other worries on my mind.

As I make my way home, I begin to think about my next course of action because while it has been fun sleeping around with all these women for a time, I need to start getting some of my objectives done. Hogwarts has just started now, which means that both Dumbledore and Voldemort are directly tied up at the school, and I won't have to worry about running into them while I take care of business. So it is time for me to start dealing with all the traces old Gilderoy Lockhart left behind.

The published works of Gilderoy Lockhart are a collection of what appeared to be autobiographical books containing the highlights from a life dedicated to the eradication of dark forces and dark evil magical creatures. They were written as though the heroics described in them were accomplished by Lockhart himself and rife with exaggerations and embellishments to make said accounts sound even more impressive than they were initially when he first heard them from the dozen great witches and wizards.

With their feats of bravery, he stole the credit by modifying their memories to make them forget that they themselves had accomplished what Lockhart would go on to proclaim to have done himself. Yet, despite the revisions he made to these tales and the exaggerations he made, they were actually believable.

They accurately described how to confront and handle a myriad of dangerous situations. This is further proved as Gilderoy's books received best-seller status, and even his former Hogwarts professors thought they might have misjudged him in his school days when word reached Hogwarts of all the feats of bravery he was said to have been credited with after his graduation.

However, old Gilderoy did not do as good a job cleaning up his mess as he thought, as Dumbledore would somehow find out about Gilderoy's fraud when visiting his friend, one of Gilderoy's victims. Since I don't know which victim that actually is, I need to go and see all of them and adequately modify all of their memories and cover all my bases so this won't hang over me and won't affect me in the future.

So I had to go to the capital of the Surat Thani Province in Thailand, where I supposedly saved the city of Bandon by banishing a Banshee that was terrorising the locals, while in fact, it was done by a witch with a hairy chin. This is the book Break with a Banshee.

Then I had to travel to the Australian city of Wagga Wagga, where I am known to have defeated a werewolf that was attacking the townspeople. This is the book Wanderings with Werewolves which I quite like. However, I am pretty exasperated when Lockhart states in chapter twelve that his ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic people. The book is mainly about Lockhart saving a village from werewolves. However, the real person who saved the town was some ugly old Armenian warlock to whom I would have to pay a visit.

Next up is a visit to Romania, which is the setting for my book Voyages with Vampires. In the book, Gilderoy ventures into the black, vampire-infested forest of central Romania to hunt vampires attacking humans. Even dealing with one of the vampires in a weird way, that vampire was left eating nothing but lettuce after their confrontation. Again this was done by another wizard, who I had to find and memory cleanse.

Gadding with Ghouls, unsurprisingly, is another story that Lockhart again stole, though he did exaggerate and embellish it heavily as Ghouls aren't the most frightening creatures. However, the information within is factual and accurate when dealing with Ghouls, or to be more precise, Chameleon Ghouls, as regular ghouls are just XX magical creatures. In contrast, these ones can disguise as household items. Again I have to visit the real wizard behind this event.

Then we have the rest of the books, Travels with Trolls, which involved encountering Trolls in an expedition to and near the Maris Profondus, the Archipelago Ridiculus, and the Maris Cristallus. Then, finally, the year with the Yeti, which come people could argue is the same as my new Abominable Snowman, but I made mine up while this one is true, Holidays with Hags, which involved yet another trip to yet another foreign country.

And all of this without even mentioning Marauding with Monsters or Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests. Because these two books include a lot of short little stories focusing on different magical pests and creatures, each stolen from a different wizard or witch. This is actually going to take me a long time to find all of these ones, but I cannot risk one of them being the possible leak to Dumbledore, so I have to track them down.

And so, thus, begins a journey to wipe out the last vestiges and mistakes of my previous self and properly start anew.