The Week I Turned Into Erin

SUNDAY

In the morning, I put on a t-shirt and leggings. They were very comfortable. I can see why women liked them. It was going to be a chill sort of day before I start the new week.

After breakfast, I said goodbye to Emily. I thanked her for everything. Especially the expensive clothing bill she shouldered. She gave me a big hug and wished me luck with everything.

When it was just me and Speckles, I pulled out my phone and started drafting my message to Kathy.

“Hi Kathy. I’m finally ready to talk.” Short. Simple. To the point.

After I hit send I walked to my computer and I started typing up my blog post.

“The Week I Became Erin” is what I called it.

I detailed my experiences with people I knew and strangers. I left out the whole drug trial thing and how long the transformation took. I talked about the makeup trial, my experiences with Sierra, the clothing I bought with Sierra and Emily, and the To-Do list that Emily and I worked on. I re-read it a few times, and published it.

It was around 11 am and I was getting hungry. I decided to drive to Panda Express. I was craving some Orange Chicken.

I pulled into the parking lot and walked into the store. I noticed a guy who walked past me, holding a bag of food checking me out. His eyes were glued to my chest. As we passed I turned around to see his eyes now glued to my ass. He didn't take his eyes off my ass until he ran right into the door, spilling his soup. I giggled to myself.

Did I just giggle? I think I did. Maybe this can be fun. I’m still not attracted to men, but I guess they’re attracted to me. I don’t blame them. I’m attracted to me as well.

I ordered Orange Chicken with Black Pepper Angus Steak and Chow Mein to go. When it was ready, I took the bag and returned to my car.

On my way back, I saw that black van following me. I decided to take a different way home, and I managed to lose the van. What’s with these guys? They’re everywhere!

I pulled into my driveway and got out of the car. I put my Chinese food on my porch as I fiddled with my keys. Behind me I heard a voice.

“Aaron? We’d like to speak with you.”

I saw two men in black suits walking up my driveway.

Shit. I dropped my keys and started running around the outside of my house. The two men started chasing me.

“Wait, we just want to ask you a few questions.” one of the men said.

Bullshit. I’ve watched plenty of movies where men in suits come to “ask questions.”

I rounded the corner in my backyard and found a shovel that Kathy had been begging for me to put away for weeks. I ducked around the corner, grabbed the shovel with two hands and slammed the head of it into the first chaser who rounded the corner.

The chaser collapsed as the shovel made a clang. I kept running.

I heard the guy yell. “Fuck!”

I continued running as the second guy was right behind him. I was back in the front again, and I picked up a pot of wilted Mums that Kathy put out a month ago. I threw it at my chaser.

The pot didn’t break as it turned upside down and dumped soil all over him. He looked pissed. Shit. In the movies pots break over people’s heads.

My chaser threw the plastic pot aside and managed to grab my arm and pull me in.

“Let go of me.” I said as he wrapped my arms up. I couldn’t move. “I’m going to scream!” I said. But that’s when he cupped my mouth. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him my plans of screaming.

I was flailing, and kicking my legs, when the second chaser who had a bloody nose came and held my legs together.

They dragged me into my house and threw me down on my couch. Speckles, not much of a guard dog, barked at them, but one of the men locked her into another room. Speckles continued to bark.

“Sit down and stay still.” one of my attackers said.

My mind was racing so fast. If I run quickly to the kitchen, maybe I could grab a kitchen knife.

“Are you Aaron or Kathy?” the guy covered in potting soil asked.

“Neither” I replied. I don’t know who these guys think they are, but they’re not getting answers from me.

“You must be Aaron then.”

“Yeah? Do I look like an Aaron?” I gestured at my body.

A third suited gentleman came into my house. Soiled guy turned to him. “Take his blood. Make sure he’s not contagious.”

“Hey now.” I said. “You never even asked me my preferred pronouns.”

Bloody nose guy held me down on my couch as the third guy rolled up my sleeve.

“Hey I don’t like needles.”

He poked the needle in me, taking a vial of blood. He walked out of the house.

There’s only 2 of them in the house. Maybe I can take them.

“Are you going to be cooperative now?” Soil guy said throwing me a Band-Aid for the puncture wound.

“Cooperative?” I said tossing the Band-Aid aside. “You attacked me. You want me to be cooperative?”

“We just want to ask you some questions. You ran and attacked us. We’ll ask you questions and we’ll let you go.”

“But you’ve been creeping on me for 2 days. You deserved it.”

“No we haven’t.“ he said. “This is the first visit we’ve made to you.”

“Then what's with that black van I've been seeing everywhere. Like that one over there!” I pointed at the black van in my neighbor's driveway.

My interrogator looked and laughed. “You mean the Amazon Prime van?” he said. “Our car is over there.” Through my window I could see a white sedan sitting in my driveway with the needle guy at the trunk doing something.

Was I just being paranoid this whole time thinking a delivery van was chasing me? “You just want to ask me questions?”

“That’s all we want. As long as you’re cooperative.”

“Fine. Ask away and then leave. Stop poking me with needles too.”

I heard my phone which was on the floor start buzzing.

“Can I get that? It might be my girlfriend. Or my sister. Or my friend. Or maybe it’s this Aaron guy you’re looking for.”

“You’re not cooperating.”

“Fine. Ask your questions.” I started to rub my wrists where they had grabbed me and held me.

“Where is Dr. Fry?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since Wednesday. Hopefully he didn’t die in that fire.”

“Do you know who set the fire?”

“What? No. I assume you and your goons did that. Maybe you wanted to burn the evidence.”

“Evidence of what? We’re trying to investigate how that happened. We have reason to believe it might be sabotage. Arson.”

Yeah. OK. “I tried to call him Thursday. I tried to see him Friday. I was unsuccessful. If you see him, tell him that he owes me $1000. I have his business card in my car if you want it.”

“What do you know about Dr. Frys work?”

“Only that he is trying to change men to women.”

“Is that the extent of it?”

“Yeah I guess. I personally know one trans woman who would love for this drug to go to market.”

“You don’t think this drug is dangerous?”

“Isn’t every drug dangerous? You know. You’re feeling lonely and horny one night, and you just broke up with your hand, or maybe your dick isn’t doing it for you. You smoke a joint, take a hit of Drug 1350. Instant party! Woo!”

“You’re being uncooperative again.” Bloody nose guy said.

I rolled my eyes.

“How long have you been working for him?” Soil guy continued.

“Working for him? I’m a trial participant.”

“Really? Our records show that there are no clinical trials for their experiments. If you’re not working for him, why did you take the drug?”

“They were offering two grand for trial volunteers. I needed the money.”

“But there is no trial. How did you find out about the drug.”

“I walked up to the receptionist. I said I was here for the trial. Give me money.”

“You walked up to an unknown clinic and you changed your gender for the money?”

“I thought I was doing a COVID vaccine trial. I didn’t know what the line was for. Well... there wasn’t really a line. Everything I know about the trial, the receptionist and Dr. Fry told me.. They gave me something to read. I didn’t read it.”

“Again, there was never a trial. You walked up to a lab and volunteered to take an experimental drug?”

Both guys started laughing. Soil guy continued. “Let me get this straight. You walked up to a random window, agreed to whatever they were doing and didn’t read any of the waivers? And they gave you a crazy story about clinical trials?”

“Well, I certainly don’t think it’s very funny. You try growing breasts and watching your balls get sucked up into your body- and see how you like it!”

My interrogators kept laughing at me. I was more annoyed than I was embarrassed. These guys have worn out their welcome.

“This guy doesn’t know anything. Is he safe to let go?” Bloody nose guy said.

The 3rd guy from the car came back into my house. “No trace of the drug in his.. or rather her.. system any more.”

“You’re free to go.” Soiled guy said. He handed me a business card. “Let us know if Dr. Fry resurfaces.”

“What about my $1000?” I asked.

He laughed. “You’re lucky you got any money. Or rather, you’re lucky you’re still alive after getting injected with an experimental compound.”

“He’s lucky he’s alive after hitting me with a shovel.” Bloody nose guy chimed in.

“She” I yelled back at him.

All three men left my house.

I picked up my phone from the floor. The missed call was from Sierra.

All of this excitement made me forget how hungry I was for a moment. My heart was still racing. I retrieved my Panda Express from the front porch and set it on the counter.

Do I tell Sierra about my uninvited guests? I decided against it. They left, I don’t want anyone to worry about me.

I called her back.

“Hey Erin.” she said when she answered.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Just calling to check up on you. To see if you’ve heard from Kathy.”

“No not yet. How about you? How are you doing?”

“Darcy and I have another date tomorrow night. I’m really excited.”

“That’s awesome. You two make a very cute couple.”

“Thank you. I owe it all to you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

We chatted a little bit more, before we let each other go.

My heart rate finally leveled off and I got really hungry. I opened up my well deserved and well earned Chinese food and started eating it.

Only a few bites in I got full. I wonder if my stomach or appetite shrunk from this transformation too. I haven’t been nearly as hungry lately.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I was antsy. It was still mid afternoon and I was bored. There’s nothing to watch on TV. I could call Sierra and see what she's up to, but since I already spent the previous two nights with her, I figured I’d let her get her own alone time.

I decided to take a drive up to the mountains. If I go now, I can watch the sunset.

I grabbed a hoodie for myself and Speckles’ leash and we both got into my car and drove to Cades Cove, a park in the mountains that Kathy and I would go to often.

I parked the car and then me and Speckles got out and started hiking along the trail. I found the spot that Kathy and I always stopped at. It was a gorgeous view of the west. The fall sun was already low in the sky. I sat down on a nearby log and just stared off into the distance alone with my thoughts.

Speckles laid down at my feet.

The setting sun was warm on my face. It was nice.

I missed Kathy. I checked my phone again. No messages from Kathy. Sure I got plenty of notifications from everyone else. Responses to my Instagram posts. Responses to my blog posts. The person I really wanted to talk to wasn’t responding.

I’m not usually one to meditate, but I was in the mood for it. It’s been a crazy day. An even crazier week. I feel like I just need a reset and to find some inner calm.

I gazed at the sunset, eventually closed my eyes and zoned out to the sounds of the wind, birds, and just the sounds of nature. When the sun finally set, it started to get cold, so Speckles and I hiked back to the car.

* * *

When I got home, I curled up on my couch with the throw blanket and scanned my phone.

I saw Emily post to her Facebook the picture of us from last night. “I was so happy to spend Saturday with my new sister, Erin.” This brought a smile to my face. I’m so happy that Emily has accepted the new me.

I continued checking my phone the rest of the evening. Waiting for any indication that Kathy’s ready to talk. Nothing. Finally I went to bed, ready to start the new week.

* * *

MONDAY

It’s Monday morning. It’s been a full week since I got injected with the experimental drug. Looking back on the past week is crazy. I started last Monday as an unemployed man. Today I’m a woman with a new job.

I pulled out some new work clothes and new underwear I got over the weekend- my new black skinny jeans, and a new black shirt I got. With all of the new clothes I got I almost wish that the grocery store had a cuter uniform.

Yeah, I never have thought that a week ago, I did appreciate how I looked in the mirror. I had a great body, and I wanted to flaunt it.

After showering, getting dressed and tending to Speckles, I sat down with my breakfast and read through the comments to my blog.

I had a whole bunch of positive feedback. In fact, the number of followers grew. One person commented that they enjoyed my description of my transition better than my movie reviews. I actually got a person who was a representative for a makeup company said they were going to send me some free samples to try out and review. That was cool.

I went through, thanking everyone for their feedback and well wishes. And of course, I said I’d take the makeup rep up on their offer. I like free stuff. I snuck a peek and the clothing bill Emily paid for this weekend. All of that stuff was NOT cheap.

* * *

When I arrived at work, those who I passed welcomed me back. I got a lot of smiles. A lot of
“Hi Erin!” and “Welcome back Erin!” Some thanked me for getting Mike tossed. Though I felt a little weird about that seeing as it wasn’t really my plan to lure him into groping me. The assistant manager - or rather former assistant manager, Ruth was promoted to manager. She was happy about Mike getting canned too, obviously.

Today I was learning how to be a cashier. I’ve done retail once in my 20s. But being a grocery store cashier was a whole other level. Produce doesn’t have barcodes. You either have to find the sticker with the produce number or memorize it.

I ran into Sierra.. or rather Ben who was doing his own cashier training. I did pull him aside and ask how he wanted me to refer to him at work. He replied that he wanted to be Ben at work for the foreseeable future. He wanted to come out to his family first before coming out to our co-workers.

Ruth directed me to shadow Darcy all morning. I spent the morning watching her and learning the ins and outs of being a cashier. Where to look up produce prices, how to apply coupons and discounts, and all of that fun stuff.

By lunch time I got to work at my own register. I was slow at first. I had a rough time identifying some produce I’ve never bought before. Thankfully no customers were dicks about it.

Since that was really the first time I’ve really been out in public with people around for a longer period of time, I did notice a number of male customers checking me out. “Yo, eyes up here, buddy.” I was flattered, but it was also weird and disgusting at the same time. Did I do that to women when I was a man?

At lunch time, I was eating with Ben and Darcy. I actually felt like a third wheel, but I didn’t mind. Ben and Darcy were talking about their favorite bands and TV shows. They talked a little about their date later tonight. Ben was saying he only had two outfits. Darcy was excited to see the second one. They didn’t tell me where they were going, but Ben obviously had to make arrangements with me to stop at my place to get dressed. I was OK with that. I was feeling a little lonely, and could use the time to practice makeup with Sierra.

I casually checked the time. This is about the same time a week ago that I was at the clinic. So it’s been a full week since my world was turned upside down. I let out a quiet sigh, trying to not let Ben and Darcy see that I was feeling down.

Just then my cell phone rang.

I checked it. It was Kathy. I eagerly answered it.

“Hello? Kathy?”

“Hi Erin.” she said. “I’m ready to talk.”