The Week I Turned Into Erin

I got pulled into the van by a very strong arm. It was dark in the back of this windowless van. I looked around and saw him.

“Erin you have to stop calling attention to us.” the male voice said.

I turned to him. It was the man who was staring at me in the checkout line.

“What do you want?” I asked. “Who are you?”

“Dr. Ara. We’ve met before.”

“I never met you. I don’t recognize you.”

“I’m from the clinic. I gave you the paperwork to sign. I gave you the money. I hope you spent it wisely.”

“Um. That was a woman.”

“Yeah and you were a man back then too. You’re just lucky I’m no longer contagious.”

“So why are you watching me? Why are you following me? Wait? Contagious?”

“Without the clinic, we have to keep an eye on you. Ideally we’d be giving you a bi-weekly checkup, but since the fire we had to go incognito.”

“I have so many questions. Where’s Dr. Fry? Who caused the fire? Who are the men in black who assaulted me? You didn’t answer me about being contagious. The men in black were checking to see if I was contagious too.”

“Two words.” he said. “Plausible deniability.”

“-The fuck does that mean?”

“It means I’m not going to tell you. In case that organization- your men in black- come back looking for answers.”

“But who are they? Are they the government? The police? Tax collectors?”

“No. Another group who wants the drug for themselves.”

“Wonderful,” I said.

“Erin, if you stay away from us, and stay away from them, you’ll be fine.”

“Why did you come into the store then?”

“I was hungry.” he said, holding up his half eaten sandwich. “Besides I couldn’t resist seeing you up close. To see how you’ve adapted after only 10 days.”

“I never told you that my new name was Erin. How did you know that?”

“We found your blog and your Instagram” he said. “Plus it’s on your name tag.” I looked down at my grocery store name tag and turned red. “I should also mention that you should refrain from saying how you transitioned so easily.”

“Yeah, I already decided I wasn’t going to mention that.”

“It’s been a week and a half since you first came to us. Your transformation appears to be over. Mine seems to have stopped a few days ago too. So you can live a normal life from here on out. And likely we’re going to stop checking on you shortly. It would be wise to continue seeing Dr. Powell. This way you don’t have to answer any tricky questions about switching genders on a genetic level.”

“How did you know about that? About Dr. Powell”

“We set it up for you.”

“I also recall asking Dr. Fry not to.”

“Well, we needed to keep tabs on you. Dr. Powell being close with Dr. Fry helps. He gave Dr. Fry some great information about you.”

“What about doctor patient confidentiality… Wait. Dr. Fry is still around? You guys are seriously the worst clinic ever. I bet you burned down your own building too.”

“I’ve already said too much. Way too much. Time to go. Now get out of here and don’t try to contact us again.”

“Wait, I have a friend who is transgender. Can I get the drug for her? Tell Dr. Fry I’d really like to see him.”

“No.”

“You said some people are contagious-”

“I said no”

“But-”

“If you don’t interfere with us, we won’t interfere with you. The other organization won’t interfere with you if you don’t have any information. Just live your life as Erin. Don’t try to find us. We’ll find you if we need you.”

“Wait. But what about my $1000?”

“Oh my god!” he yelled. “I am dealing with a complete idiot. I’m trying to have a rational conversation with someone who didn’t read the forms I gave him to sign. You're lucky for the first thousand. That was my idea by the way. So you’re welcome.”

“I’m the idiot? I’ve dealt with cable tv companies with more professionalism than your clinic! Dr. Pepper is a better doctor than you!”

With that he threw me out of the van and shut the door. Then the van started it’s engine.

“Dick” I said watching the van drive away.

* * *

My lunch break was almost over so I sought out Ben. I found him in the break room with Darcy.

I sat down with the two of them.

“Ben, can I see you in private?” I said.

“Sure, Erin.” Ben got up and we both walked out of earshot of everyone else. “What’s up?”

“So, I had an encounter with the people from the clinic who gave me the drug. I tried so hard to get some for you, but they want nothing to do with me anymore. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK Erin.” Ben said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Two weeks ago I used to cry myself to sleep wishing and hoping something magical would happen to turn me into a girl.” He paused for a moment. “But that hasn’t happened since I’ve met you.”

“But-”

“Erin, for the first time in a long time, I have friends who truly care about me. Do I still wish I was a real woman? Absolutely. I still dream about it every night. But what you and Darcy have given me - allowing me to be myself…” Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“You will always be Sierra to me. Even if you’re dressed as Ben.”

He giggled and wiped the tears. “One day.” he said “Maybe I’ll join you in taking that drug. For now, I’ll take the hard road - because I have friends who will walk it with me. When I’m ready. I’ll talk to my parents. It will be sooner now that I have friends supporting me.”

"I'll gladly walk that road with you, Sierra. If your parents won't support or accept you just know you have a loving girlfriend and an older adoptive sister who loves you and will always support you." I smiled and hugged her.

* * *

TWO WEEKS LATER

It's been 3 weeks since I became Erin. I formally changed all of my ID’s. I settled on Alexis as a middle name. Erin Alexis. I thought it had a nice ring to it.

Kathy’s continued to help me adapt to my new life as Erin. She continued the training that Emily started. Helping me with my mannerisms, makeup, hair, and my general style. I in turn passed this knowledge to Sierra.

Last week, she took me to get my ears pierced. I didn’t want to of course. Needles. I hate needles. But my girlfriend insisted and she promised to make it worth my while. After resisting it all day, I finally got them pierced. It didn’t hurt, but I wasn’t going to admit defeat that easily, as I wanted to see what Kathy had in mind for payment.

When I asked her to pay up that night she surprised me by coming out of the bedroom with nothing but a strap-on. My eyes got wide and I said. “Oh Fuck, me!”

“I’m going to.” was her reply.

I’m not going to admit that it’s become my new favorite toy. But anyway…

Since it’s cold outside now, I’ve been wearing lots of sweaters and leggings. A part of me is certainly excited to see what we come up with when the warmer seasons come back. Kathy wants to put me in a string bikini when summer comes back around. I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet - or ever. I have to keep reminding her that I’m 36 going on 37.

Work has been good. Sometimes it’s been busy. Sometimes it's been slow. Around the holidays it’s been crazy! But, I’ve gotten better at it and have even started memorizing the produce codes.

Oh, most importantly- another payday came around!

Kathy has returned to working full time again. So money isn’t nearly as tight as it used to be. We have a little more expendable income.

Our friendship with Sierra and Darcy has continued to grow. We actually have a whole closet dedicated to Sierra now. We’re not pressuring her to come out to her family, although she does apologize about taking up closet space and that she’s close to coming out. We tell her not to rush it, and she’d know when the time is right. Having her around so much almost feels like having a younger sister. My family was only me and Emily. I never had a younger sibling.

Not everything was sunshine and rainbows though. Since the holidays were quickly approaching. I decided to reach out to friends and family to see what they were doing and catch up with them. Some of whom I haven’t talked to in months. I wasn’t able to get any calls or messages back. I complained about this to Emily over the phone and she promised to find out what’s going on.

When I got a call back from Emily, she sounded like she was crying.

"What's wrong Em?" I asked.

“I’m so sorry Erin.” she said. “They’re transphobic. They aren’t ready to accept you yet. I tried talking to them but they just wouldn't listen to me and some were very rude.”

“Oh.” I replied discouraged. “I kinda figured as much.” Hearing this really hurt. I was getting so much positive encouragement from the people who are active in my life. It didn't occur to me that the people who weren’t active in my life were active on purpose.

“I hate that they’re acting this way. I yelled at them.” she said.

“Em, you don’t have to fight my fights. Yeah, they suck. Hopefully they’ll come around.” I got emotional as a tear rolled down my cheek.

“It’s just embarrassing to hear that kind of filth come from a family member’s mouth.” she added.

“I know. While I made a quick decision on coming out, I knew there might be consequences. I know this might be one.”

“You’re taking this surprisingly well”

“It’s because I have a great supportive sister, a great supportive girlfriend. And some new supportive friends.”

I heard Emily chuckle on the phone. “Erin, Why don’t you come here for Christmas. You and Kathy. My family and I would love to see you both.”

“I dunno Em. I was thinking of just staying home for Christmas. WIth the COVID numbers so high, I thought it would be safer to stay at home.”

“Just don’t be alone.” she said. “Maybe you can see what Sierra and her girlfriend are doing.”

“I will.” I assured her.

“If you need any Christmas gift ideas for Kathy, I have a few ideas” Emily offered.

“I have a few ideas of my own. Wanna hear them?”

“Oh? Do tell.” she replied.

* * *

We were all sitting in the living room in cute pajamas. Kathy got us matching plaid ones. “Here We Come a-Caroling” was playing on my speakers. I was sitting on the couch with my legs tucked in front of me with my hair tied back in a ponytail. Sierra was leaning up against Darcy who had her arms wrapped around her girlfriend. Kathy was grabbing presents out from under the Christmas tree.

Kathy slid two gifts to Darcy and Sierra. She slid one to me. She glanced back at me. The reflection of the Christmas lights were sparkling in her eyes. She was beautiful. I’m a lucky girl to have her.

Sierra and Darcy opened up the gifts from themselves. Sierra got a beautiful silk dress. Darcy got a matching knit hat and gloves.

I opened my box from Kathy. It was a sterling silver necklace with a gold pendant that had the name “Erin” on it.

“Thank you, babe.” I said holding up the necklace and trying it on.

“Here’s some more,” Kathy said, sliding a few more boxes over.

Inside was more leggings and a new dress. “Very pretty.” I said, holding the dress up.

The next was a small box. I opened it up and in it was a pair of pearl earrings. “My first real pair of earrings.” Despite wearing “cheapo” earrings since my piercing last week, this gift brought a tear to my eye. I’m not sure why. Maybe this was when it really sunk in that I’m a woman.

The last box was lighter. I opened the wrapping and inside was a very skimpy yellow and pink bikini. I picked it up and held it up. “Um. What’s this for?”

“It’s a bikini, babe. I know it’s winter right now, but I figure maybe we can get away, maybe find a nice heated pool or jacuzzi”

I blushed. That bikini is way too revealing for me. I swallowed and slid my gift to Kathy to her. I put the skimpy bikini back in the box and out of my mind. It’s game time. I slid a few boxes to Kathy.

She opened the first box to find a few pairs of leggings, then a bottle of Lady Stetson, then finally a pair of earrings. “Very nice Erin. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, babe. This large box is also from me.” I said to her as I slid her the last present.

Kathy pulled the present closer to her and tore the wrapping paper off the box. “Oh look. It’s a box from your grocery store... a case of apples?”

“Erin, you didn’t get her a case of apples did you?” Sierra said laughing.

“No.” I replied laughing. “I just know where to find an abundance of empty cardboard boxes.”

Kathy chuckled and opened the box to find- another wrapped box. “Another box?”

Darcy laughed. “Erin, you’re mean.”

I giggled, knowing what was in the box. "What? I couldn't resist." I giggled more

"Just be glad I love you babe." Kathy said, as she tore off the wrapping paper. “Oh look! A cardboard box of coffee.” she laughed. She opened that box and inside it was filled with rose petals. “A box of rose petals?” She dug around in the petals and pulled out an envelope. “An envelope?” She opened the envelope and pulled out a handwritten letter.

“Read it!” Sierra cheered.

Kathy opened up the letter and was about to read it when she noticed Sierra and Darcy with their phones up taking pictures of her. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Darcy said. “Read it!”

Kathy cleared her throat and read.

“Dear Kathy. When we got together 3 years ago I didn't think we'd still be together but after these past 3 years being with you, we have had one wild ride after another. Even now, it's still a wild ride after all we've been through. I'm glad that you and I are still together. I can’t imagine being on this ride with anyone else. Someday I hope to spend the rest of my life with you. Love Erin.”

She wiped a tear from her eye, chuckled and turned back to me. “For a moment I thought that you were about to-”

When she turned around to talk to me, she saw me on one knee holding up a diamond princess cut engagement ring. She stopped talking mid sentence, stunned.

“Kathy, will you make me the happiest woman in the world and be my wife?” I said.

She looked down at the ring with her mouth agape and tears rolling down her cheeks. “Yes!” she said, hugging me. “I love you, Erin.”

“I love you Kathy”

Sierra and Darcy cheered and hugged us both.

“Erin.” she said letting go of my embrace. “I have a little something else for you. I was waiting for the right time, but now seems like the best time.”

“What is it, babe?”

“Actually” she said. “It’s something Aaron left us.”

Aaron? But I’m Aaron.. or rather I was.

Kathy softly held her lower abdomen and looked up at me smiling.

It was my turn to be stunned.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes. We’re pregnant!”

I hugged Kathy and kissed her. “This is the best Christmas ever.”

Just then I got a text message. It was from Emily. “Did you do it yet?”

I replied. “Yup. She said YES.”

Seconds later she called. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks” I replied.

“Put my future sister-in-law on the phone!” she said before I got a chance to tell her the other news.

"Ok hang on she's right here." I handed my phone to Kathy and I heard her tell her Congrats.

“Thank you!” Kathy replied

“Treat my sister well!” I heard Emily say.

“I will” Kathy then turned to me. “Want me to tell her?”

“Sure, go ahead” I said smiling.

“Em, we have another surprise.” A pause. “I’m pregnant.”

I could hear Emily’s excited squeal. Kathy pulled the phone away from her ear.

I laughed. “I guess she’s excited.”

* * *

A WEEK LATER

My panties. Fold. Her panties. Fold. My skirt. Fold. More panties. Inside-out. Fold. Her bra. Hang up. My bra. Hang up. Sports bra. Fold. More panties. Fold.

I placed all of the folded laundry into the basket and returned to our bedroom where I proceeded to put everything in dresser drawers when I heard a knock at the door and Speckles barking.

I walked back into the living room and saw through the storm door, a delivery woman on the porch with a box in her hand.

Speckles continued to bark.

"It's OK girl, it's just a delivery girl.” I said to Speckles. I turned to the door. “You can just set it down.” I said to the delivery woman through the glass door.

“I need a signature.” the delivery woman said.

I grabbed a mask that was hanging up, put it on and opened the door.

The delivery woman handed me a tablet and stylus and I signed my name. She handed me the box and said. “Have a good day.” she said. "Thank you, you too." I said to her.

It was addressed to Aaron. “What could this be?” I said to myself as I hung my mask back up.

I took the box into the kitchen and opened it up with a knife. On the top was a handwritten letter.

“Aaron, I’m so sorry this happened to you. The experiment was a complete disaster, so I had to go into hiding. Please accept this as a token of my gratitude for being our first successful human test subject. - Dr. Fry”

This is great. This proves Dr. Fry is alive. If I can somehow find him, then maybe I can get the drug for Sierra. I examined both sides of the paper. He didn’t leave any contact information on this note. Damn. I then examined what else was in the box.

In a plastic case was a vial with a packaged sterile needle. The label on the case read “1340-B. FtM.”

“1340?” Why 1340? What does the B mean? I gather “FtM” must mean “Female to Male.” I gasped at the implications of this drug in my hand. I can turn back to Aaron.

I put the letter and vial back into the box. As I did I caught a glimpse of the ring on my left hand. My engagement ring. The day after I proposed to Kathy, she thought it would be fun to get me an engagement ring too. I said we couldn’t really afford it, but she wasn’t having any of it. Especially after she got jealous that guys were hitting on me. We went to the mall and picked out my own ring together. After it was sized and cleaned, Kathy got down on one knee and proposed to me right in the store. It was a cute and touching gesture. I actually teared up because I never imagined that I’d be getting proposed to as well.

Just as being proposed to wasn’t in my plans, turning back to Aaron wasn’t in my plans either. All I wanted those first days during my transformation was to turn back to Aaron. But now...

Kathy came into the kitchen and put her arms around me, kissing my neck.

“How is my beautiful fiance today?” she whispered into my ear as she lightly nibbled on it.

“Good. But even better now that you're here” I said back to her, closing my eyes and placing my arms on top of hers.

She let go of me and pinched my butt making me moan softly and continued to make her breakfast. “What’s in the box?” she asked.

“Extra printer ink” I said. “Be right back.”

I walked outside to the outdoor trash container. I opened the lid and tossed the box into it.

When I returned to the kitchen, I hugged Kathy from behind, holding her not-yet-showing belly. “Have I mentioned that I love you, Kathy?”

“Not today” she giggled.

“I love you.” I kissed her cheek.

“I love you, too Erin.” She turned around and kissed me.

My life is perfect. I don’t want to change a thing.