NOVEL WEB We're Off
Ivory was a busy bee the next morning. He woke up around 6am and had a glorious sleep in—not that he was tired, of course—and rose properly at 7am and had a bath. Afterwards, he pocketed his phone and money pouch, and proceeded to file the rest of his stuff on the bed before he left.
He looked at the eclectic spread on his bed—some passably folded clothes, one towel, one enchanted towel, a linen pouch holding his potions, and finally, a lovely bag containing some items from Earth. Souvenirs from another world, at this point. He found it incredibly lacking to travel with.
Where was the suitcase? Mannus spoke of a Bag of Holding—Ivory had read some funny stories about D&D where a Bag of Holding had done some wild shit, so he knew what it was, but could it fit everything in there, and more? He had the dosh; he could always buy two.
“Whatever. Figure it out with Mannus,” he said to no one in particular. He gave another cursory shake of the head towards all his stuff and headed downstairs to eat. He’d need to talk to Rex as well, and give him his thanks.
What Ivory came down to could only be described as a bloodbathed feeding frenzy. There were [Servers] or [Waiters] running around at a speed that would have caused the three trays on each arm to fly off most spectacularly, bringing food and drink to the full house. He decided, correctly, that he wouldn’t bother.
Ivory only really knew one other place to eat: the Snackery. It wouldn’t be a healthy breakfast, but it certainly would be a good one. So, he made his way there, praying it would be open.
Ivory exited The Woolen Pillow and made his way down. It was nice to take in the atmosphere; there were few people to dodge and it was more or less a straight line he had to walk to get there. It was nice to be able to switch your brain off and just walk. He didn’t bother thinking about travel logistics or anything like that; that could wait for Mannus to lead.
Ivory saw the Golden Tonics plaque and snapped back to reality. Not because it was time to turn his brain back on to order and, subsequently, enjoy some food—no, the planty, smokey fumes shocked him back into the present. He’d totally forgotten that the cafe was a sub-business of Gurd’s potions business!
Ivory ordered a green sparkling water—he noticed that, after his previous conversation with Mark, that the name had been amended—and some fresh, savoury pastries. When it arrived, he took a picture of it, for posterity. Now that he actually had a means to charge his phone, he didn’t need to worry about frivolous usage such as this.
Not wanting to dawdle, Ivory sat for only a few minutes after finishing his breakfast. With a great stretch, he said his thanks and headed to Gurd’s shop.
Ivory’s plan was to organise what he wanted to buy and have Gurd keep them to the side so he could pay later, after he’d gone to the Merchant’s Guild to withdraw some money.
Despite his earlier reaction, he didn’t actually dislike the odour of Golden Tonics. Even moreso than the Mage’s Guild, an inn or a magical shop, an [Apothecary]’s shop was the true embodiment image—and smell!—of the fantasy experience.
Unlike his last visit, the shop had a few other shoppers. There was a father and his young child, as well as a woman who looked like she’d stepped out of a gym: she was barefoot, and wore a leather crop top and short pants. Her legs were like tree trunks; her arms following closely behind.
Conscious of being a creeper, Ivory explored Gurd’s wares. Last time he was here, he saw a tiny fraction of what was available. Now that he was veritably loaded, he didn’t need to stick to the pleb sections. Despite that, he went back to the Adventuring shelf, which he previously had purchased most of his potions from. The same potions were there—healing, mana, stamina, and so on—and he felt a small rumble in his gut. Not from hunger, but from the knowledge that a good healing potion saved lives. His recent adventuring experience—if one could call it as such—forced upon him the reality of adventuring, and the absolute necessity of institutions such as this.
Sentimentality aside, he had a wander around, thinking about what he actually wanted. He could be in here all day and look at everything available, but if he didn’t actually know what he wanted—everything in here is useful—then nothing would be purchased.
“Okay, let’s think,” he thought. “I’m going to be travelling; what would I bring if I was going overseas on Earth?”
That line of thinking was actually quite helpful. Sleeping pills for the flight, Imodium, pain killers…
“I’ve already got sleeping potions, so looking for anti-diarrhoea and pain killer potions would be a good idea.”
Back to the For The Home section, then: if those potions existed, they’d be there. Ivory continued his shelf snooping from where he left off.
“Sobering tonic, oh, those body washes and shampoos, Stomach Calming potion, that’ll be it, a nail unguent—”
“Dead gods, Margeary! Careful where you are going!” a voice chided. A sheepish reply followed.
“Sorry, father.”
Ivory looked to his right and saw that father and child from before. Ivory didn’t really know what had happened, but he suspected she was looking at the potions, as Ivory was doing, but at a faster rate and almost collided with him. He decided to chime in.
“I wasn’t looking where I was going either, don’t worry about it.”
The girl, maybe 8, had a shark-like grin as she turned to her father. This is definitely not the first time this had happened; she was surely ecstatic at not being totally in the wrong. The father met Ivory’s eyes and gave an eye roll and a shrug, and they moved along. Yep, definitely not the first time.
Ivory then found the last piece of his travelling, medical puzzle: a Draught of Pain Relief. Perfect.
Ivory stood behind the gym-woman who was currently talking with Gurd.
“Legs alright, dear?” Gurd asked her.
“Yes! I’ve only had one or two cramps since I started drinking more water, and that rub you gave me was a life-saver, when they came. I even got a Skill from it: [Muscle Control: Legs]!”
Ivory was curious what her class was. Back on Earth, this probably wouldn’t have been her job—just a lifestyle. On this world, though, she may well be a [Bodybuilder] or god knows what.
“Oh, my,” Gurd said, clearly elated. “That’s wonderful to hear! I’ll have to stock it, for other like-minded [Martial Artists]. I’ve seen them on my Scrying Orb, in Pomle—perhaps I’ll have to reach out!”
The [Martial Artist] sighed longingly.
“I’ve got a long way to go before I make the journey to Pomle. You definitely should, Gurd.”
Ivory, sensing an opportunity, butted in.
“Sorry to interrupt, but what is Pomle?” Unlike one of golden rule of the internet—Cunningham’s Law—he knew that this woman would be delighted to tell him about Pomle.
He was right. She turned around with a glint in her eye. Gurd leant to the side and waved, mouthing a “hello”.
“Pomle is a haven for all sorts of [Martial Artists], in Chandrar. It’s a neutral place where people across Chandrar and abroad come to hone their bodies and skills, in the harsh desert.” Ivory bookmarked it as a place to check out in Chandrar, when he eventually visits. Though, he doubted a [Sorcerer] would have much to do and learn there.
“Oh, cool. So there’s like, [Boxers] and [Wrestlers] too?”
The woman thought for a moment.
“I’ve not heard of those classes, but if it exists, Pomle is home to them. My legs are my weapon, personally. Nina, [Martial Artist] at your service!”
“She’d not heard of boxing, so she’s not a [Kickboxer]. Interesting,” he thought.
“Nice to meet you Nina. Pomle sounds awesome. I’m Ivory, a [Sorcerer].”
“Oh, cool! Never met a [Sorcerer],” she turned to Gurd, “thanks again Gurd. See you next month!”
“Goodbye, dear. Stay safe, now!” Gurd called out.
“I will! Bye-bye, Ivory!”
Gurd turned back to Ivory.
“Nina’s a good girl. I can’t say I like that she pursues such violence, but she is happy, which makes me happy. Now, how can I help you, Ivory?”
“Hey. I’m going to be going travelling, and am looking to get some supplies for the road. Could I get you to save a few for me? I’ll need to go to the Merchant’s Guild to withdraw some money and come back later. Is that okay?”
“Of course, my love! What are you after?”
“Two potions of: sleeping, calm, pain relief and stomach calming, please. Could I come back later to pay and grab those? I’m going to be going to the Merchant’s Guild to withdraw some money.” Ivory hoped this wasn’t some faux pas. To his relief, she just nodded.
“That won’t be a problem in the slightest. Pop by when you’re ready, dear.”
“I should be back soon; I’ll see you a bit later.”
“Ta ta!”
Ivory left the shop, and only then did he realise that she didn’t tell him how much his order would cost. He assumed that it was deliberate; that if a customer said they needed to withdraw the money, that they could afford it.
Making his way to The Esoterica, Ivory pondered on what kind of artefacts Mannus would tell him to buy. Better yet, how much would they cost? There was no question regarding Mannus’ reliability or trustworthiness—he would buy whatever he recommended.
As the storefront came into view, he could see another horde of children in front of the large scrying mirror. Verdane had an orb of [Light] in front of him and the children were doing likewise. They were as still as statues—perhaps this was a lesson in having them practise channelling the spell as long as possible? “Good for them,” Ivory thought. He could only assume they were the same lot of kids he saw originally; they’ve been improving! As Ivory got closer, he saw Mannus resting against the foundations of the shop. Their eyes met, and Mannus beckoned him in.
“Come on in. I’ve got everything ready.”
Ivory followed Mannus into his office and saw four curious objects—his desk was littered with curious objects, of course, but these four were arranged in less of a haphazard and chaotic manner. Mannus picked up the leftmost item.
“This is a Bag of Holding. Anyone who is anyone has one of these.” Mannus gave the bag a poke. It wasn’t what Ivory thought it was going to look like—after all, a’ bag’ could be a backpack, a handbag, a satchel or a shopping bag. Or any other number of things. Mannus continued on.
“Most Bags of Holding are, by design, pouches. Usually worth at the belt. Depending on the quality of the bag, the space inside can vary massively. Naturally, the higher the capacity, the more it will cost.” Mannus gave Ivory a telling side-eye glance that made his pockets feel hot. “This Bag of Holding is one that a Silver-ranked team would find most adequate. I make this comparison for a number of reasons. Firstly, it can hold approximately 30 pounds—I suggest never attempting to overload it. Secondly, it’s quite easy to access: the strap goes over your shoulder and across your body, and it has an iron buckle that is lifted up for ease of access into the bag itself.”
Mannus put on the bag and showcased its usage. It was more or less a small knapsack, not unlike something from Earth. He expected it to be, well, a bit more… otherworldly?
“See how a [Mage] may, with ease, open it up and grab a Tripvine Bag at an encroaching beast? No need to avert your eyes and fumble around a small pouch at one’s waist. Very useful for an adventurer—you’ve got a party of at least three ‘safeguarding’, so to speak, the visible Bag of Holding most of the time. Luckily for you, this isn’t as big of an issue, as this has a basic enchantment on it that activates when worn. Can you guess what it might be?”
Ivory’s eyes widened in momentary surprise, before lowering in thought.
“He’s obviously meaning that I’m going to be painted as a target for [Thieves] or [Thugs] or something since it’s always visible on my body. Something to hide it? An anti-theft spell?” Ivory thought. Based on the few spells and Skills he had, he assumed that there was an almost unlimited variety of spells. He felt confident in whatever he guessed could actually exist.
“[Camouflage]? [Dazzling Light]? [Hide Bag]?” Mannus looked amused by his responses.
“I said basic spell. [Camouflage] and [Dazzling Light] are certainly not basic spells, and [Hide Bag] is a Skill fit for a Goblin. Well, can’t really fault you, since you were almost right: it’s enchanted with [Minor Camouflage]. It will blend in with your clothing, however if someone looks hard enough they will be able to make it out. The next item you’ll be buying is a Ring of Warmth.”
“Bloody hell,” Ivory thought. He barely had a chance to parse all of that before Mannus carried on. What worried Ivory was that Mannus hadn’t told him how much that Bag of Holding costs.
“The ring will warm your body once a day, and will take another whole day to charge. The effect will last for 20 minutes, less depending on how cold you are. A useful trinket. The last artefact is a magical puzzle, made by Wistram. This ought to keep your attention during your travels; it’s a tough one. Finally, there are three scrolls of [Lesser Teleport]. Bind them to outside your lodgings, and activate them if you are in a pinch. It won’t work if you’re too far away from the anchor point. That will be 300 gold—sign this for me.”
With one swift motion, Ivory was presented with a quill and a small sheet of parchment. Mannus truly did not take any half measures. Ivory signed what could only be described as a cheque and handed it back to Mannus.
“Excellent. Now, put those scrolls and the puzzle into the Bag of Holding and then put it on. Next, put the ring on your finger and turn your acorn into a wand.”
Ivory’s limit was reached.
“Why?” Mannus just nodded.
“Good question. There’s nothing preventing someone from wearing and carrying as many artefacts on their person as they like. The issue is that some artefacts interfere with each other—the higher quality the artefact, the less interference, or ‘dissonance’.. Most people have a limit of about four artefacts before dissonance occurs. There should be no dissonance with the artefacts you currently have, but it’s best to check.”
“Bloody hell”. That’s definitely something Ivory would have liked to have known earlier!
“What happens when that occurs?”
“The artefacts begin to rumble—the tell tale sign that there’s too much magical interference from each artefact. If that happens, you just take one off. What happens when dissonance does happen, you ask? Well, the artefacts can explode. Which is why it’d be a good idea to put them on now to check.”
“Fair enough. Okay.”
Sufficiently spooked, Ivory did as he was told. The Ring of Warmth was a nice bit of bling, actually—a silver band with a red gem in the bezel setting. It slid nicely on his right index finger. The Bag of Holding, likewise, was a comfortable fit. He unclipped the piece of iron and dropped the puzzle inside. He didn’t hear an otherwise expected clang, so he hesitantly reached into the bag to feel around for it. What a bizarre feeling. It was like he was reaching into the void. He put his arm far deeper than what should have been possible inside and eventually felt the puzzle. Very strange. He slipped the scroll of [Lesser Teleport] in after it.
“I don’t feel any kind of vibrations. Looks like I’m in the clear?”
“I’d have bet my shop that dissonance wouldn’t happen, but it’s never a bad idea to be thorough. Anyway! That’s you all sorted. The carriage to Phieslant is arranged, and all I need to do is check in via [Message] to have it ready. Is there anything else you need to do?”
“I’m gonna be honest, we’re going really fast here. I still need to collect and pay for the potions from Gurd from Golden Tonics, and then say my thanks and goodbye to Rex. And I still have all my stuff in my room there. So don’t alert them now.”
“Right. I can send my [Receptionist] to pick those up for you. Whatever it cost, I’ll add it to your bill for the gear. Go pack your stuff and meet me outside.”
Mannus strode out of his office and out of sight. Ivory stood there, motionless. “Mannus Lan is a fucking madperson.”
Ivory shook off the madness of the past 5 minutes and went back to The Woolen Pillow to pack all his things. It was, strangely, quite simple to load everything in—especially his clothes. They were neatly (as neatly as you could have expected) folded and stacked and slid easily inside. The towels were next. As he put them in separately, he made sure to activate his wand and put the bag back on, to check for dissonance. Nothing, thank god. He took it back off and put the rest of his things inside. He took his non-Shocktowel out and wrapped the potions in them, to keep them safe. His shopping bag of Earthly items went in last. He pocketed the little purse of coins, and went downstairs to farewell Rex. It was only a very brief exchange, as Rex was in the middle of some busy service. Jeth was nowhere to be seen; he likely was relegated to the back of house since it was so busy. He returned his key to reception, and that was it. Everything, it seems, was settled.
But of course, it wasn’t. He needed to go to the Merchant’s Guild and actually get some money! Mannus, that motherfucker…
Well, never mind. That could be something to do when he arrives in Pheislant; having an actual ‘completable’ objective would be useful to help adjust to a new place, if only for the better part of a few hours.
In any case, Ivory exited the inn and sat down on one of the nearby public benches. He guessed that this was where some of the parents could sit while their children watched the scrying mirror outside The Esoterica. As it happened, no one was actually sitting on any of them, despite the fact that the children were still watching it, so. Ivory, barely having a second’s respite, decided to close his eyes and just relax. Mannus’ [Receptionist] needed to go all the way to Golden Tonics and back, so he had time to just close his eyes and sit.
Ah, the sounds of the city. It was strange not to hear the sound of cars, although it wasn’t an unwelcome strangeness. Wonder how long that chariot ride is going to be? Hope I don’t get bored. Do I have any ebooks on my phone…
Ivory drifted softly into slumber. It wouldn’t last long, but it was a welcome reprieve from the chaos of the last hour.
Indeed, all good things come to an end. Ivory was poked awake by Mannus—he had a grey wand in hand.
“Ow. Hi.”
“Good day. Here are your potions.” Mannus handed Ivory a linen bag containing his order; he deposited it gently into his bag.
“Got everything in order?” Mannus asked.
“I believe so. If I’ve forgotten something, it’s probably inconsequential. Could you [Message] whomever it is?”
“Way ahead of you. You were snoozing for at least 30 minutes; if we leave now, they should be ready for us as we get there. Shall we?”
“Yes, let’s! Lead the way!”
Mannus led Ivory through the city, and Ivory recognised some landmarks: they’d just passed the Adventurer’s Guild, so they were probably going where the ill-fated Ruby Nobles event had left off.
“There’s your chariot. Some good timing on everyone’s part.” Mannus pointed to the modest—comparatively to Ivory’s last ride—vehicle nearby. Two regal looking horses were monching on some kind of grass in what appeared to be a huge bowl. Each had a golden mane, not dissimilar to a lion’s, and on each saddle was emblazoned the symbol of Calanfer. Clearly, this was not just some chariot for hire: it was a proud Calanfer service. Calanferian? Ivory didn’t know.
Out of the driver’s compartment stepped a grizzled, bald woman. She had on an outfit which, truth be told, did not befit one who would represent this city. On the other hand, that’s usually a sign that the quality of the service will be excellent.
“This here our young traveller?” she asked Mannus. Clearly born of Calanfer, based on her accent.
“Indeed it is. Franceline, this is Ivory. Ivory, Franceline.”
“Fran’ll do nicely. A pleasure, young man.”
“Hey, nice to meet you. Looking forward to the trip.” At this, Fran almost screamed out a laugh.
“Are you, now? This is going to be a long trip, and you’ll only be there for a few hours—overnight, if you ask nicely. Don’t know why you want this, but a paying customer’s a paying customer. “
Ivory almost choked.
“How long, exactly?”
“Oh, a week each way.”
Ivory slowly turned to Mannus, who looked cool as a cucumber.
“You failed to tell me this.” Mannus shrugged.
“You failed to ask.”
Ivory was fuming. This is what he wanted, and even if he’d have known, he’d still have gone through with it. But that wasn’t the point! He’d have mentally prepared, or prepared a sleeping potion to have with a drink or something. Argh.
Fran was quite humoured by the situation.
“This’ll be a great trip, I can tell. Well, you ready to set off, Ivory?”
“All set. Thanks for setting this up, Mannus, even though you kinda screwed me here. I’ll see you in a few days, I guess.”
“Not at all—you paid for it!”
Ivory grumbled. He was starting to feel a bit economically irresponsible. He didn’t even know how much this cost. Ah well; poor, future Ivory’s problem. He gave a wave to Mannus as Fran let him inside. It was nice and cosy: there were some gorgeously fluffy pillows, and he figured he could easily lay down and sleep should the need occur. Wait, would he be sleeping in here, or at other Inns they passed? God damnit, this shit would’ve been nice to know beforehand! “An adventure, I guess…”
“Alright, Ivory. You’re my only passenger here and back, so get comfortable. We’ll be able to buy food and drink along the way if the need arises.” Ivory heard a few whinnies. “Yeah yeah, settle down. We’re bound for Pheislant, ladies. [Equine Acceleration].”
And so began the journey to Pheislant.