The Way of the Sorcerer: A 'The Wandering Inn' Fanfiction

The disposition of both Earthers could not have been more different. Ivory, silently walking alongside the chirping Nozumu and Evangelinda, was going through bona fide rolodex of emotions. Evangelinda, on the other hand, as cool as a cucumber. Ish.

“‘Linda’, please, Nozumu,” she said, doing two quick 180s to check for anyone nearby.

“Sorry, force of habit. Actually, you’ll be able to see my place in a sec.”

The trio was heading through a checkpoint out of the city—the Drowned Woman [Perceptive Guard] waved her through with a smile—when Linda pointed off in the distance.

“Holy hell, that’s a castle. You’re loaded!”

“Not quite, though I do make a lot of money, actually. There’s a housing lottery for Merchant’s Guild employees. Most of them are two bedroom flats on a street the Merchant’s Guild owns outright—turns out no one wants the mansion just outside the city. Not as convenient, and I suppose people didn’t want the hassle of the randoms coming around to help with the upkeep of the place. Three storeys with a huge basement, a huge garden—I lived in a village quite a ways away from a big city, so it suited me fine.”

Nozumu and Ivory shared a look of awe—neither could begin to comprehend why you’d give up the opportunity to live in this place over a small flat.

“Oh, also, Ivory: try not to stare. I get it—I’m chummy with Fireeka back there because I was originally freaked out by her—but you’ll see many Drowned Folk around port cities.”

Ivory stuttered a bit at the accusation, before admitting to himself that he was giving her a quizzical look as they walked past.

“Is she some kind of… Fish Beastkin?”

Linda and Nozumu laughed, causing Ivory to turn a bit more red.

“Oh, you sweet thing. There’s a heap of different races here. She’s a Drowned Woman—a Human who has accepted the Sea’s Bargain and fused with a sea creature. Or she was born to Drowned parents—I haven’t asked, and probably won’t. Not my business. Fireeka is part Sea Bass.”

That sounded a little bit creepy to Ivory, but there was no point in feeling bad for having stared a bit—she was objectively offputting to someone unaware of her… situation.

“Well, that’s kind of cool, I guess. The majority of my non-Human experiences have been with Beastkin on Drath, so yeah. I’ve met a rude Drake, a half-Elf, what else? I think that’s it.”

Linda looked at Ivory with a quizzically impressed look. She glanced at Nozumu—who was a peacock, no matter how you looked at it—and chuckled.

“Generally speaking, they’re really quite rare to see. I’ve seen a few at work, but a place like Drath would have heaps of non-Humans. What kind of Beastkin did you meet there?”

Ivory tapped his chin with a forefinger.

“Well, Nozumu here, obviously. I, err, stayed at a Snake Beastkin village for a few days. Oh! A Goat Beastkin as well. “At the sudden remembrance of Damaring, Ivory groaned. “I actually took a video of her—she was a [Sword Saint]—but I dropped my phone.”

He dug the smashed iPhone out of his Bag of Holding and held it carefully, trying not to somehow break it further.

“See? It’s cactus. What? Why are you smiling?”

Linda had an ear-to-ear grin as she held out her hand. After a moment of deliberation, he handed her the phone.

“[Bound Spell: Repair].”

In a quick zip, the shattered iPhone completely repaired itself—as if it was brand new.

Ivory almost lost his mind.

“Wh—that works?!” he yelled. She handed the phone back to Ivory, who unlocked it immediately.

“Don’t ask me how it works—you’re the [Mage]. Better yet, why it works. It worked on my ruined tablet, and I tried it on a whim.”

She shrugged with the air of ‘and the rest was history’.

“Go learn the spell. I can only use it once a day; to be able to use it whenever I want would be epic.”

“I wouldn’t even know how to start. [Sorcerers] do things differently, but I don’t see why I couldn’t learn it from a spellbook or something. I’ll add that to the list. Thank you, though—that’s… wow. You’ve never seen my phone have you, Nozumu?”

He shook his head, eyeing the foreign device.

“Only when you used it briefly. What exactly is it?”

“It’s called a smartphone. I’ll have to show you in more detail later, but it can do the equivalent of [Messages] and—what was that other one?—[Speak] to anyone with a smartphone, anywhere in the world. Well, mostly anywhere. It can take pictures and videos—here, I’ll show you that fight.”

Though they were only about 20 metres from Linda’s abode, she and Nozumu gathered around to see the video. He opened his videos folder and tapped on the most recent file.

“Okay, here we go.”

Phone rotated, the video started playing. Nozumu’s beak was wide open in awe of the ‘magic’. As Patta began his cataclysmic opener of a spell, Linda’s stomach dropped.

“Oh shit.”

As an enjoyer of RPGs, hearing that many spell augmenting Skills made her wary of what was to come. Her suspicions were proved correct when the spell was cast.

All three of them yelped when the jumpscare of a lifetime, in the form of black lightning, flashed centre-frame. They heard a shriek as the footage blurred, and then cut off.

Nozumu felt nauseous all over again—Linda looked frustrated that the footage ended there!

“Yeah, I don’t blame you for dropping it. That looked thrilling. That [Archmage] or whoever looked like a Human.”

“Oh, right. His opponent was—she had these great curved horns, and looked a bit scaly. Maybe a different breed of goat?”

Nozumu remembered that he’d not corrected Ivory—he was confused, at first, since he’d never met a Goat Beastkin.

“Oh, no—she’s a Demon."

Linda almost face planted on the gravel walkway of her garden at the mention of a Demon. The way Nozumu nonchalantly said it lessened the impact of it—but he was still quite taken aback. Linda’s reaction was what Nozumu was wary of: he had, reasonably, assumed that Humans from Earth would not have the ‘regular’ disposition against their great ally of Rhir.

“I didn’t expect that! You sure have seen it all. Based on your reaction, you don’t know about Rhir. Honestly, you should keep it that way. It’s a clusterfuck of all fuck. They aren’t our demons.”

Now Ivory was just confused, but Linda continued on.

“That’s overshadowed my glorious garden. I’ll give you the tour of it afterwards. Come in—shoes off.”

—---------------------------------------------

The main living room was lovely—Ivory had yet to actually enter a house in his time here, and he was awash with contentment, and not from a Skill this time. He felt a sort of muted nostalgia. The architecture, as well as the general interior setting of the room was what he was used to.

Ivory sat cross-legged on a heated mega chair-shaped beanbag, which was novel. Nozumu opted for the adjacent couch; he was unused to such seating arrangements in a personal setting.

“Now I don’t mean to stereotype, but Nozumu I assume you take tea,” Linda said, placing a teapot on the table. “I’m a good Brit, so I hope you like my brew. There’s a cup for you as well, Ivory, but apparently I’m in the mood for stereotyping—I thought you lot drank coffee over tea, which I don’t think exists here. I’ve some oranges growing out back, so I make my own delightful juice. Help yourselves!”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Ivory said, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. “Cheers!”

The two Earthers held their cups up in the classic motion; Nozumu did so after realising that there was a thing happening.

“Delish, wow. Compliments! Do you have a juicer, or something? Honestly I have no idea what kind of ‘mundane’—” he air quoted the word —“technology exists here.”

Linda raised an eyebrow.

“Ivory, we’re not talking space ships here. It’s a little knobby thing that you screw into the orange, and a strainer catches the pulp.”

Ivory put his hands up defensively; even Nozumu was looking away covering his mouth.

“I lived in a city, okay? We bought juice from a shop.”

“Oh, I’m just teasing. But, actually, you were going to ask if someone like a [Juicer] did it for me, right? I don’t blame you—there’s a class for everything. There are [Peasants], [Peons], and other really sick classes that people can get… but let’s keep it light, eh? There’s a [Farmer] that comes once a week to sell some of her wares on Burlaine Street with her husband, who’s a [Grocer]. They grow fruit native to this world, which he sells in fruit-form and also juice. No doubt he’s got a Skill that does it for him.”

“Back home, there’s someone who obtains the juice from fruit and vegetables with a Skill—she does not need to do it herself, it just… happens. She would sell the dried fruits as food and offerings.”

Nozumu’s addition to the conversation was particularly noted by Linda, who was quite impressed.

“Skills know no bounds, truly. We’ve gone offtopic!”

Linda clapped, and Misoe jolted awake.

“Ahh, I’m sorry sweet thing! Can I, err, get her anything?”

“No sweat. She eats magic, which luckily I have in stock!”

Misoe craned her neck up and poked her tongue out at him.

“What a gremlin,” Ivory said, grinning.

“No, she’s awesome! She’s obviously not a pet, but I need a pet, I think. A lion from Kaaz, perhaps. But no—The Talk™. Who’s going first? You or me? I’ve always envisioned myself going first… but I never thought there’d be someone who came so much later.”

As Ivory was uhhhing, Linda saw Nozumu pointing a low talon at Ivory.

“Nevermind, it’s settled—you first.”

“Wha—okay. Well, I was just finishing up at the shops…”

And so, for the first time, Ivory began the cathartic process of telling his story. It didn’t take long for Linda to interject with a raised hand.

“A literacy Skill? It only took me, like, a week to learn!”

Ivory waved a hand with a triumphant look.

“Unlucky for you. It’s not the last you’ll hear of it, either.”

Linda laughed ruefully, and Ivory continued on. She made a spot decision that she’d ask no more questions until he was finished.

There were, in relative order, smirks, laughs, gasps, pointed silences, cheers and nods throughout. By first-wave Earther standards, it definitely could have been worse—but it was quite the tale nonetheless. He finished with the climax of escaping Drathian assassination.

Ivory was a bit flushed by the end of it—not to mention his sore throat after having talked for so long, without much pause.

“... and then we got on the boat, Nozumu and I did some practise, and here we are. The end. So far.”

Linda gave a stoic nod. It would, she thought, have been reductive to have clapped or smiled. After all, he avoided death three times.

“Thank you for sharing your story with me—I’m sure it felt quite good to get it out in the open. Sadly, I think that pleasure has more or less left the equation for me. But—I have a few notes.

Ivory looked up from his cup of tea at that proposition.

“Notes?”

“Notes. Firstly, and I’m sorry if I’m bursting a bubble here, but that Mannus character one hundred percent knows you are from Earth. It’s an open secret for Wistram—Mage’s Guilds actively seek us to take to Wistram.”

Ivory’s breath caught in his throat—he felt silly that he felt a bit betrayed by this revelation.

“No, don’t look like that. Truly—from what I’ve heard, most of us have had helping hands upon arriving here. I’ll get to that in a bit—but note two. That half-Elf also probably knew, and that Drathian [Trader] got you before he could, on behalf of Wistram. Surprised he didn’t just outright nab you, TBH.”

The walls of reality were breaking around Ivory, but Nozumu raised an arm.

“You aren’t in school! Just speak, man,” she said with humoured kindness.

“For what it’s worth, I do not think that anyone else knew. Ivory would have been treated differently upon arrival. Jiji definitely would have outright mentioned it, too.”

“Huh,” Ivory managed. “I don’t see why people just didn’t tell me. It surely would have made everyone’s life way easier, what with the pussyfooting around.”

Linda leant back, arms crossed. Her crossed leg was vibrating as she spoke.

“Honestly, I couldn’t say why. If I had to guess, it would be that there’s some disillusionment in the ranks. I don’t know what or why that would be, but that would be my guess.”

“It could be due to me being a [Sorcerer]? He told me that [Sorcerers] are kind of scorned by [Mages].”

Ivory shrugged and poured himself another cup of tea. Nozumu’s, too, after seeing his empty cup.

“Maybe. I am, unfortunately, quite the recluse compared to the other people from Earth. Which there are.”

“Have you met…?”

“I have not. It wouldn’t be too obvious to you, but scrying orb television, newspapers and song crystals weren’t a thing when I first arrived here. Television is a Wistram thing—no doubt a few landed directly in Wistram. Newspapers were invented by—get ready for this—a dude named Rémi Canada, a [Journalist] in Chandrar. Song crystals, by the Singer of Terandria. But it’s television that I’ve seen most of our kin from Earth: basically every big event has been televised. It’s a pretty big give away when someone says ‘oh my god’ on camera.”

Ivory swore under his breath.

“Why not get in contact with them?”

Linda shook her head, and even Nozumu joined her.

“If I sent a [Message] to the Singer of Terandria, Wistram would be on me like a dog in mud. Apart from some minor blunders in my first few days, I believe I have been successful in evading their sight. I haven’t been approached by them, so that’s the consensus I’m going with.

“Jiji did say that scrying orbs were two-way with Wistram… shit. I guess Wistram has their finger in everything.”

Linda almost spat out her tea.

“They WHAT? Okay, I’m throwing mine out.”

Ivory snickered at her outburst.

“Jeez, clearly you’ve got some secrets!”

Linda gave him a blank look, which made him slightly regret his prodding.

“That’s not the point at all. It’s a massive invasion of privacy, especially since they are actively trying to steal us away.”

“Smooth one, Ivory.”

“Wah.”

Ivory turned beet-red at this sudden betrayal. Linda, to his relief, just laughed.

“You’re meant to be on my side, here.”

“Get wrecked. Alright—my turn. Fortunately, my story isn’t very long, and isn’t filled with as much excitement.”

Linda sat up a bit more straight and downed the rest of her tea.

“Unlike—what is it?” she said in response to Ivory raising his hand.

“Can the peanut gallery ask questions?”

She thought for a moment, but came to a quick conclusion.

“Yes. But be reasonable. Okay—unlike you, I had a rocky start. I was getting a pedicure when it happened to me. One moment I was sitting down playing Flappy Bird, and next thing I knew I was falling into the ocean. Just down by the docks, just past all the fishing vessels.”

Ivory’s eyes bulged, and Nozumu gasped.

“Yep. Wasn’t pleasant at all. The fact that I had the dexterity to catch my tablet with my feet is nothing short of a miracle. Only bad thing—I can’t swim very well, let alone after having mysteriously appeared in the ocean. Luckily, and I say luckily, someone was peering out across the water and saw me.”

“Who was it?” Ivory said, now quite engrossed with her storytelling.

“Why,” Linda said, leaning forward, “none other than the Guildmaster of the Merchant’s Guild! I was definitely a bit crazy, what with shouting ‘where am I’ ‘where’s Jinsy?’ and many ‘what the fucks’... but he took me to a [Healer] who said I was fine, so I was immediately discharged. He took me back to the guild and asked me for my story, which was ‘I was having a pedicure and ended up in the ocean’. I don’t think he knew what a pedicure was, but he let me stay at one of the guild houses.”

She cracked her neck and took a sip of orange juice—her audience didn’t disappoint! They were waiting on her every word.

“On the second day, Jailent asked me what my class was. By that point I had figured out I was in some kind of game-world, and I didn’t have a class yet. I avoided the question and told him I had worked in a Merchant’s Guild before, having clued in that they were pretty much banks. And, wouldn’t you know it, I have an economics degree and worked in a bank!”

“Holy shit.”

“What are the chances? And, it turns out, he thought I was a [Slave] who had escaped Roshal! I almost slapped him ‘cause, you know, but I thankfully resisted. And yes—that’s a slave nation on Chandrar. Anyway. it also turns out that this world isn’t as… up to date, economically. I managed to rise up the ranks pretty fast, not to mention in levels. I’m an [Economist of Trends].”

“Ooh, multiple words. You must be, what, level 40?”

Nozumu almost fainted, but Linda just guffawed.

“I wish. I used to be a level 30 [Economist], but I consolidated some classes and got taken down a bunch. Odd how that works—but it’s ‘easier’ to level when you’re lower levelled so whatever. And that’s basically it for me. I’ve just settled down here in Pheislant, going to work, and just, well, living. I’m no mover, shaker or rule breaker—I want to stay under the radar. Say, also—is that your real name?”

Ivory narrowed his eyes, concerned about the implication.

“... Yes. Why?”

“Oh, no reason. It's pretty, err, different. I thought maybe it was a fake name, like mine. Evangelinda Postlethwaite, at your service.”

“I’ll try to ignore the attack on my name—why a fake name?” Ivory said, slightly scandalised.

“Why else?” she said, shrugging. “That’s, like, survival 101 to me. In lots of games, names have power—you can curse, hex, and scry people. And what would you know? There is a [Scry] spell which works by name.”

Ivory bit his lip—that was some solid reasoning, and it had paid off for her. No doubt Wistram was on top of that. Nozumu, eyes squinted, piped up.

“When you were lost in the rainforest, Heito tried to scry you. It worked for Misoe, but not for you.”

All eyes were on Ivory, now. No one was as confused as him.

“What? It’s my real name, but at this point I wish I could say it wasn’t. I have no idea why the scrying didn’t work.”

“Well, Misoe is a Japanese—I mean, Drathian—name, or at least it sounds it. Maybe it’s a language thing? I don’t mean to be racist or anything, but if you said your name—or mine—in Drathian, it would be said a bit differently, wouldn’t it?” Linda added

Ivory thought about that for a moment. What a flaw in the spell if that were true—the magic should surely be able to tell the difference?

“That’s dumb. Wait—what about your accent?”

“Oh, yes, of course,” she said, slapping a hand to her head. “If you haven’t figured it out already, you can get Skills—maybe spells too?—if you want them enough. That was hard to convince poor Jailent—had to say it was trauma bringing out an accent I had when I was young! Everyone here speaks with an American accent, so I decided to try and fit in, and the southern one was the best I could do. I eventually got a Skill—[Alter Voice]—that lets me just… go between the two without having to consciously put the accent on. It’s quite groovy.”

“Funnily enough, I have found the same—I even have some rare Skills that help me get spells that I want.”

“Oh, nice.”

The three of them sat there in only slightly awkward silence for a moment.

“So… what are your plans, Ivory?”

He looked at Nozumu, and back at her.

“Well, we don’t really have a plan other than heading back to Calanfer and seeing what happens.”

“You’re welcome to stay here, if you’d like? There’s more than enough space—I’d be happy to host you both. You three,” she corrected herself at the end, with Misoe returning a gratified look.

“What, for real?!” Ivory exclaimed. Nozumu, slumped back, happy that he didn’t have to travel by carriage for another two weeks. If he could pray, he would have—please, Ivory, accept.

“Of course! No rent needed; my home is your home. The only thing I ask is that you show me some magic every now and then. Being an [Economist] is awesome, but, you know. Magic.”

“That means you can go to that duelling thing, Ivory,” Nozumu added, attempting to quash any straggling idea of rejecting her offer—Ivory brightened immediately.

“Oh, the Relic Mage? I’ve watched a few of the fights—great fun. It scratches my magical itch. So, what do you say?”

She did not have to wait long before she received his reply.

“I will graciously accept—but I want to chip in! Anything I—we—can do to help out around the place, let us know.”

Linda smiled and waved him off.

“Hardly necessary. I have a [Cleaner], [Gardener], [Architect] and a few others from the council come ‘round every so often to ensure the house is in tip top shape. Before I moved in, the glitterati used it for meetings and whatnot. They weren’t happy when the boss let me move in, though. It’s not all bad—I’m friendly with some of them, and they’re nice enough. The only thing I ask is not to disturb the [Singers] come in. Oops—I host a singing group once a week in the basement. It’s all soundproofed.”

“Yeah, no problems at all. No complaints here.”

“Perfect. No need to sign a contract or anything—you two seem sensible. I’ll let you pick your rooms, come along.”

And so the day came to a delightful end. Nozumu and Ivory got their own rooms, with king-sized beds, an on-suite and a spacious balcony.

As the sun began to set, so did Nozumu and Ivory. The allure of such huge, comfortable beds—the likes of which Nozumu had not yet encountered, but nonetheless adored—was too much, after such a long trip at sea.

Of the doubtless millions of people that levelled that night, one [Wise Mystic] joined that illustrious group.

[Wise Mystic level 25!]