Chapter 21 – Painful Reminder
I was considering training in the other world in order to get stronger, but to do that, first, I need to find a portal and make sure that it’s actually safe. I was on my way to the House, ready to go into the forest and look for that portal, but then I remembered that I know the location of another one. One I’ve had the displeasure of using before.
The portal I’m referring to was the one in the parking lot next to that one ice cream store that I pass by every day on my way to school. The parking lot was closed off for a few days after I had my little adventure in the other world, but now it’s open again. I never ended up checking, but is the portal gone now? That’s what I’m here to check out.
I entered the parking lot, and nothing felt immediately strange. I was sure there’s nothing here anymore, but I headed towards the corner where the portal was, and just like I expected, there was nothing there. Did the portal disappear on its own? I think it was already gone by the time I came back and met Katja for the first time. But that’s weird. I was under the impression that it’s not that easy to close them. They told me their group took care of the monsters, but then there was another organization that would take care of the portals. Maybe I just didn’t see it after I came back. That other organization must’ve done something when they closed down the parking lot.
Oh well… I wasn’t expecting it to be that easy. I guess I’ll need to find the forest portal if I want to go to the other world after all. At least I can rest easy knowing that there isn’t going to be anything high-level pouring into our world from the demon city on the other side. I’m not sure if Katja and the others would be able to handle that. I certainly wouldn’t.
“Iroha!” A friendly and energetic voice calls out to me as I finish checking the parking lot.
“Mi- Miyuki?!” Why is Miyuki here? I told her I had something to do after school… “D- did you follow me?” I- is she actually interested in me? Since we haven’t been hanging out much after school, maybe she has decided to go on the offense. How sweet would that be? I didn’t think it was possible, but given how much she likes to invite me to do things together, I’m not sure.
“I was just passing by.” It wasn’t about me! That makes sense. She does look like she’s in a hurry. “What are you doing in here? Reminiscing about our ice cream date?” Miyuki’s mouth turned into a grin.
“T- that’s not it! Why do you say things like that?” I can’t help but blush when I remember the day we met. I actually managed to make friends with her, and we came here to eat some ice cream afterwards. That was a very nice moment… while it lasted.
“If you’re not here to reminisce, then what are you doing here, Iroha?” Miyuki walked past me into the parking lot with her hands behind her back. “Were you looking for something?” Miyuki calmly moved her head around, scanning the area.
Ehh? What kind of question is that? How does she know? “Why do you ask?” I thought she had lost her memory of what happened here. Does she actually remember? How much does she remember? What’s going on?
Miyuki turned around, confusion showing on her face. “What other business could you possibly have at a random parking lot? You’re either looking for something or waiting for someone. Which one is it?”
Huh? I’m not sure I agree that those are my only two options, but is that really her reasoning? Was her question just a coincidence? “Uhmm… Well, if I had to pick… I’d say I was looking for something…” I’m reading too much into it. I have so much going on that I’m a little on the edge. “Don’t worry though, it’s not really a big deal.”
“That’s good. I’d help you look for it if it was important, but I’m in a bit of a rush.” Miyuki’s pace quickened, and she passed by me again on her way out of the parking lot. “There’s a clothing shop I wanna go to that’s gonna close soon.” Ahhh… More impulse shopping… I see… “Wanna come, Iroha?”
“No… I’m fine. Thank you.” That’s a scary place she wants to drag me into. “I have something I need to do.”
“Shame! Big shame! I would definitely pick something cute for you!” Yeah… that’s the scariest part. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Iroha. I know you’ll find whatever it is you’re looking for, so good luck!” Miyuki waved as she walked away, almost breaking into a run. I’ll find what I’m looking for, she says… I hope she’s right.
I arrived at the House, and I was ready to venture into the forest, but I couldn’t leave without grabbing my katana. It also didn’t feel right to come here and disappear into the forest without telling anyone, so the first thing I did was actually go into the dorm to see if I could find anyone. I heard that when someone goes hiking on their own, it’s better to tell someone where they’re going first, in case something happens. I’m not exactly going hiking… but the situation’s similar enough that it’s probably a good idea to tell someone.
The only person I saw when I entered the dorm was Narumi, who was lying down on the couch while messing with her phone. “Hmm?” Narumi was lying on her back and twisted her head awkwardly to try to look at me. “Iroha! Hi! What are you doing here?” Narumi quickly adjusted her position and sat straight on the couch.
“Hi, Narumi. I’m just here to train.” I hung around near the entrance since I would have to leave for the main building soon to get my sword, and we could talk just fine from this distance.
“You’re here to train? But Katja’s not here today. I guess she forgot to tell you. Ahahahaha!” Narumi laughed and grabbed the controllers from last time. “Don’t worry though, it’s a good thing that you came today. Let’s play together again!”
“No… I mean, I knew that Katja wasn’t going to be here today. I was going to train by myself in the forest.” It was fun playing with Narumi, but that’s not what I’m here for. Narumi was not expecting this answer and looked at me with confusion.
“Wait what? I don’t really get it… You knew Katja wasn’t going to be here today?” I nodded. “But you decided to come anyway?” I nodded again. “To train without Katja?” And I nodded yet again. Narumi blankly stared at me for a second. “What are you on about?”
I don’t really know what’s there not to get. I want to get stronger, so I have to train. Training by myself is just as important as training with Katja, so it’s not like her absence is even that bad for me. I tried to explain this to Narumi.
“I see… You should forget about training and just play with me today. It’s been so boring lately! I might actually die at this rate.” Narumi seemed to just brush off everything I told her.
“I can’t. Didn’t you hear what I just said? I need to train.”
“Is getting stronger that important to you? Why are you being so serious now? You were so reluctant at first, you practically got dragged into this world against your will. With that kind of mentality, you’re not gonna last, not unless this is your last resort. Are you actually planning on sticking with us till the end? You don’t need to be so serious, Iroha. You’re gonna quit soon, but I want to make the most of the time we have left together. Let’s play together, okay?”
Narumi’s words stung, they reminded me that I haven’t been truly accepted by them yet. I know I wasn’t exactly the most reliable up until now, but I’ve been working hard, and I’ve even managed to impress on a couple occasions. Looks like that’s not enough to make them completely trust me. Everyone is still looking at me like I’m gonna call it quits at any point. That hurts… It’s like nothing’s changed. Narumi wasn’t being mean, she enjoys my company, and she wants to have fun with me. She sees me as a friend, but that’s it. Nothing more than a friend, and one who’s gonna leave her life at some point. That’s not what I’m going for. I want to get closer with them. I want more.
“Sorry, but I’m still going to train. I don’t have a reason to quit right now.” If I haven’t been accepted yet, it just means I haven’t done enough. Besides, I have another reason why I can’t quit that Narumi doesn’t know about, the VISS Driver. If I can find a place to safely learn and use skills, it’s going to be really fun. I want to see how far I can push things. If I can push it far enough, I might be able to have whatever I want… I’m getting ahead of myself.
“You’re not going to change your mind, are you? Are you gonna be able to kill?” Narumi stared at me with a serious look on her face. “Even if it’s just a monster, will you be able to kill it? Have you ever killed before? It’s a big burden, you know? Even the strongest fighters are completely useless if they fail to deliver the final blow when it really matters. Will you be able to do it?”
Killing huh? It comes down to being able to kill… Well, I’ve killed plenty of bugs, but those don’t really count, do they? I can’t exactly say it would be nothing to me, but I think I’d be able to kill monsters. I mean, I’ve been doing so my whole life… In games… But I think I’ll be fine. It didn’t bother me at all when I watched Katja slice the giant beetle in half, and when it gets that big, it doesn’t count as a bug anymore.
Killing people, however… That’s a different story… I’ve killed plenty of people in games, so if I think of the other world as a game… Maybe I can do it? There’s no way, is there? I can say whatever I want, but I know I wouldn’t actually be able to do it. But it’s not like I’m going to go around killing for fun. Even in games, I only ever kill when there’s no other choice. If I’m not attacked or if the enemies surrender, I end up sparring them most of the time. There are things more important than keeping my hands clean. Even now, I would try to defend myself if I was attacked, and I’d kill anyone for the sake of my dear waifus!
“I’ll be fine…” I couldn’t say it with absolute confidence, but I don’t think it’s enough reason for me to hesitate. Monsters, I’m not too afraid of. People might be a little harder, but I’m not going to go around picking fights, so it doesn’t matter.
“Oh yeah?” Narumi laid down again and held her phone over her face. “Good luck out there.” Narumi waved me goodbye without even looking my way. Don’t you worry, Narumi. I promise you, I’m not gonna quit so soon. You don’t have to be afraid of me disappearing. I left the dorm and headed for the dojo to grab my sword. I’m nervous, this is a big deal, but I’ve got to do it.