The Villainess Wants Her Prince to Live!

Chapter 25: Of Nobles and Nonsense



To Regina’s shock and wonder, for the first time since she had arrived in the Capital of Carcosa, a plan of hers actually seemed to work.

That is, as Artem went ahead and made an impossible-to-miss spectacle of himself parading around the room, handing an increasingly excited crowd of nobles matching versions of his ugliest brooch even as he pinned copies of their own jewelry to himself…

Regina was able to quietly slink around the periphery of the ballroom and listen to the conversations of the oblivious nobles.

After all, Regina knew she was looking for an assassin who could be as subtle as they were murderous.

Indeed, the more she thought about the many assassination attempts that had come her way, the more she believed there must be multiple assassins at play.

She supposed that made sense. Any royal or noble powerful and wealthy enough to target her would naturally want to increase their chances of killing her. In case one assassin missed, another could make an attempt. It would explain why her deaths were so varied from one another.

That also meant that she had to fear some assassins more than others. By now, Regina had learned to roll her eyes at the clumsier attempts to take her life. She did not fear whatever assassins had tried to murder her through sending rolling barrels of flour or angry flapping fowls at her.

Their attempts were less horrifying and more an annoying hindrance to living a peaceful life.

Yet there was at least one assassin who was more subtle and cunning than the rest – one whose mechanisms were surprisingly sophisticated. She had a feeling that this assassin was the one who had successfully framed and then murdered her in the timeline where she had been engaged to Prince Aaron.

She also suspected that her subtle and cunning assassin was the one who had nearly poisoned her at her engagement ball, who had almost crushed her, Artem, and the orphans to death with chandeliers at the theater, who had nearly killed with via wainscoting in the orphanage… and who was responsible for Artem’s impending death via fountain.

Granted, it seemed ridiculous to claim that trying to crush someone with a magically controlled chandelier was subtle and yet…

Regina grew more chilled the longer she thought about the complexity and sophistication of her cunning assassin’s murder attempts.

That assassin was highly dangerous… yet while they had made overt attempts at murdering her, there was a surprising lack of evidence as to who was arranging those murders or how they did it. What’s more, the spectacular deaths they arranged were clearly manufactured through surprisingly sophisticated use of a magic no one had been able to trace.

Her prime suspects were the Alpins – who might want to murder her to destroy Artem’s budding political power – and her own Sheridan family… if only because Regina knew that her family were willing to eat their own to gain the smallest advantage. Yet even if Regina’s hunches were correct, she knew her subtle assassin could only have one master.

Even given how bizarre and horrifying her life was, it beggared belief to think that two different powerful families might want her dead!

Still, Regina had to wonder why the family not trying to murder her had not yet uncovered her assassin. After all, if the Alpins wanted to murder her, the Sheridans presumably wanted to keep her alive to gain further power.

Similarly, if the Sheridans wanted to murder her, the Alpins would presumably keep her alive out of sheer spite or to gain some other advantage.

Furthermore, both families were powerful, wealthy, and had connections that Regina could not touch. Even if Regina had the advantage of foresight, the Alpins and Sheridans have every other force at their disposal.

Yet even the family that presumably wanted Regina to stay alive had not caught her most dangerous assassin, though they had to know one was stalking her. She had overcome at least four showy assassination attempts… yet neither of the families potentially backing her could determine their causes or culprits.

Whoever her subtle and cunning assassin was, they obviously were able to attempt murder in highly visible striking ways… that would point to whoever they wished to implicate, without revealing their own background.

That assassin was also able to control chandeliers and wainscoting well enough to target her directly. Regina had no idea what their magic was, though she worried it might be the metallurgy of the Alpins used in unorthodox ways.

Unfortunately, there was no way for Regina to even voice her suspicions without bringing even worse consequences to herself and those she was trying to protect. Even so, Regina wanted to rage at whatever monster was trying to kill her and Artem, regardless of the consequences. She wanted to grab every noble she could reach by the lapel and threaten to stab their eyes out until they shared whatever they might know about her assassin!

However, though Regina was now the clown of Carcosa’s Capital, she was not a fool. Her greatest foe was as malicious as they were cunning and subtle.

So she needed to have those qualities as well.

Therefore, instead of grabbing and stabbing nobles for further information, she went back to her tried-and-true methods for surviving her ruthless family.

With a little effort, Regina easily became the human equivalent of beige. By blending in with the wallpaper and looking like an ordinary noblewoman, Regina was able to lurk around the ballroom and catch the gossip of various nobles, even as she kept her ears alert for any signs of unusual magic or anyone who might have a vendetta against her.

All she had to do was stay masked and silent, even though she cursed the fact that her disguise made her incapable of eating any of the little cakes that were being passed out by servers. Still, Regina did not want to risk her fondness for little cakes giving her away, especially since she had started a craze for little cakes after a certain incident with a bakery that had nearly exploded before she had defused several flour-bombs.

'Who knows if any of those cakes are poisoned anyways?' Regina tried to reassure herself, turning away from the sight of the glistening frosting. 'Artem might have made me a brooch with antitoxin, but I cannot risk being ill, even for a few minutes. Everything that is wrong with my life happens so quickly.'

'Besides,' Regina thought valiantly, pushing down the way the little icing decorations seemed to be calling to her, 'those cakes are probably made of fish anyways.'

So, with a famished stomach and a curious soul, she turned back to her task on quietly spying on the surrounding nobles.

At least Artem was ready to help her by providing a great distraction. Even if Regina looked better-than-usual in her lovely falcon mask and matching dress, she paled in comparison to the spectacle he was putting on as he ran from one end of the room to another, creating baubles for the increasingly excited nobles.

‘I suppose,’ Regina wearily thought as she tracked Artem while listening to the babble of nobles enamored with baubles, ‘I thought too highly of these noble idiots. I thought they were terrifying monsters who would not be won over… but apparently, nothing is as effective in disarming a noble as ugly, shiny jewelry.’

Still, Regina had to admit that as hideous as the jewelry was based on her initial selection, Artem dedicated himself to crafting the most exquisite pieces possible. Even from afar, Regina could admire the way he crafted each bauble with a different metal to suit the outfits of each entreating noble.

‘I cannot believe I even know the metals he is using,’ Regina marveled even as a small smile crossed her face. ‘I also cannot believe I learned to tell the different types of metals he uses so that I can avoid the ones that blind me the most!’

After she finished wondering at her ridiculous life, Regina waited for the crowd to stop buzzing about Artem’s generosity and start talking about what mattered most - herself and the people who might murder her.

However, when the conversations finally swung back to the illustrious Lady Regina Sheridan, she found herself shocked… and disturbed.

“I must admit,” said a noble with a large mask made of undulating flowers, “that the first time I saw Lady Regina Sheridan, I was not impressed. It seemed laughable to have such a mousy, quiet girl marry into the royal family, let alone to the Crown Prince.”

Before Regina could finish congratulating herself on seeming too large of a fool to be worth targeting, she was shocked by the noble’s next statement.

“Yet,” the noble continued, stroking the flower on her mask, “she proved me wrong time and again as the months passed. Lady Regina is a political genius who might reshape Carcosa to her liking.”

Only Regina’s mask kept her from making a fool of herself by letting her mouth drop to the ground.

Before she could interrupt the conversation by demanding to know how much alcohol the flowery noble had been drinking, another noble with a feathery mask interrupted her.

“Indeed,” the second noble said. “We knew the older Sheridans were cunning enough to go from commoners to marquesses in a few generations. Yet even by their standards, Lady Regina is a political prodigy. She had only been engaged to the second prince for a few months and already…”

Laughing, the second noble waved at Artem making a spectacle of himself while producing so many matching brooches that it was a wonder he had not collapsed from magical exhaustion.

“Already,” a third noble wearing a domino mask said, “she has that fool of a second prince eating out of her hand. Then again, she could have hardly picked out a better fiancé

for herself while amassing power. The prancing princeling is surprisingly powerful in magecraft and is utterly devoted to her. Can you believe Lady Regina even talked him into moving to her family’s townhouse? Prince Artem may as well declare that he is a tool of the Sheridans to all in the land.”

Another noble wearing an outrageous crimson outfit that revealed a great deal of cleavage tittered. “Well, you cannot blame a starving dog for following a mistress who fed him. Little Prince Artem has been neglected all his life. It is to Lady Regina’s credit that she realized his potential and proceeded to… cultivate him. She realized that this royal dog needed a bone – as well as a place to bury it.”

Thankfully, before the crimson noble could begin to find more innuendos to humiliate a horrified Regina, another noble in a sedate, dark-blue mask interrupted.

“Are you sure,” the dark-blue masked noble said, “that Lady Regina is not just a tool of her elders? I had the chance to speak to her before at a gathering and while she was not an idiot, she seemed like any other young noblewoman. She was no brighter or cannier than the rest.

“She seemed, forgive me,” continued the blue-masked noble, with a nod to the flower-masked noble, “to have a head full of flowers.”

“Do not underestimate her,” the flower-masked first noble warned, though Regina wanted to tell the dark-blue masked noble to continue. “Lady Regina might seem as dull as most noble girls on first acquaintance… yet how could anyone dull create such impressive displays in public? Look at the way she handled “saving” herself at the theater a few months ago. She had the entire crowd, nobles and commoners alike, in a frenzy at how brilliant, powerful, and brave she and Prince Artem were!”

“Oh, spare me,” the dark-blue masked noble muttered. “Do you actually believe those so-called feats of bravery are real? You know as well as I do that the Sheridans are staging them in public to boost her and Prince Artem’s popularity. The newspapers and nobles are only supporting this little play because it is an entertaining spectacle!”

“Yet is that not in itself a mark of genius?” the second noble with the feathery mask argued. “Even if the Sheridans are staging these spectacles, Lady Regina is cunning enough to play them as though they were real attempts at saving others from peril. Her acting is better than any I have ever seen on the stage and the public loves her dearly.”

“They call her the people’s princess,” the third domino-masked noble added. “She is apparently the friend to all, from the lowest orphans that she took into her own home to powerful nobles like Marquess La Belle. I recently learned that he even pledged to marry his first-born daughter to her future son with Prince Artem. This means…”

A murmur ran through the crowd of nobles at the implications, even as Regina felt lost.

“This means,” the domino-masked noble triumphantly concluded, “that Marquess La Belle knows that Lady Regina and her offspring have a bright future… one where she and her children might be useful for someone as mercenary as the La Belles.”

Another ripple ran through the crowd, even as Regina’s eyes widened.

‘Surely,’ Regina frantically thought, ‘this noble is not implying what I think they are implying! They cannot possibly mean…’

“Oh my,” the flower-masked first noble murmured, raising a hand up to her masked lips with false shock. “Are you implying that the ‘people’s princess’ might one day become the people’s queen?”

Even as Regina practically felt her heart stop within her chest, the domino-masked noble gave a surprisingly dainty laugh.

“I would never imply that,” the domino-masked noble purred. “After all, that would imply that a lady of family that went from being commoners to marquesses in less than a century has ambitions that outstrip anything a young lady should ever consider. Though if we take a look at her handsome young swain…”

One cue, the nobles and Regina turned to stare at Artem. As Regina noted with some concern, Artem had apparently exchanged matching brooches with half the nobles in the ballroom given how weighed down he was in newfound jewels.

“The second prince,” the domino-masked noble triumphantly said, “wants to be friends with everyone attending this masquerade. I wonder what favors he, or his bride, will eventually exchange with those newfound friends?”

Another ripple ran through the crowd before the second noble with the feathery mask laughed.

“If I were the Crown Prince,” the second noble drawled, “I would be quite nervous about my future prospects and quite displeased with Lady Regina Sheridan. Did she not turn down an offer to wed him instead of the second prince?”

“Indeed she did,” the flower-masked first noble murmured. “It was the talk of the Capital for ages, since nobody could understand why she or her family wished to forgo the chance for her to wed the Crown Prince and be the next Queen.”

“Now we know,” the domino-masked noble triumphantly said. “It is because the Sheridans had their eyes on a more vulnerable prize. Crown Prince Aaron is a little too canny and cold to manipulate with ease. If the Sheridans tried, he would find ways to contain or even destroy them. Yet Prince Artem…”

Somewhere, Regina numbly heard Artem laugh and exclaim at his latest set of matching brooches.

“Prince Artem,” the noble with the feathery mask crooned, “is the perfect fool. He will do whatever Lady Regina and her family tell him too, even as he carries a direct connection to the Alpin throne. Can you imagine a better puppet king for an ambitious family?”

“At this rate, the Sheridans will rise beyond mere marquesses in a few more years,” the flower-masked noble murmured. “Do you not wonder what family they will displace?”

“How disgraceful!” the dark-blue-clad noble murmured, sounding as horrified as Regina felt. “Are you all not disgusted by the thought of a queen with the blood of baseborn commoners coursing through her veins?! I for one –”

“Need to shut up,” the first noble with the flower mask hissed. “I tolerate your company because you are useful but you have the wits of a donkey! Lady Regina and her family are only growing in power and popularity by the night. Everywhere you go, they have friends and spies. Shut your mouth before you personally find out whatever the Sheridan powers are!”

That seemed to be the cue for the gathering to disperse, all the nobles fleeing from the suddenly fearful-looking dark-blue-clad noble as though he were cursed.

Regina took that as her cue to melt away also, even as her mind whirled.

‘By the blood,’ Regina realized even as she staggered from all that she had heard. ‘Instead of being a clown, I am the most popular woman in Carcosa. Unfortunately, that gives people even more reasons to murder me.’

‘Yet what would lead me to safety? I have tried being competent. I have tried being incompetent. I have tried being unengaged. I have tried being engaged. I have tried frolicking in the flowers and being the biggest clown in Carcosa! Yet I still cannot answer the most important question in my life.

‘How,’ thought Regina numbly, ‘do I get people to stop trying to murder me?’

The jewel twinkling on her dress had no reply.

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