NOVEL WEB Chapter 4
Seo Jae-Ah was left speechless, her mouth agape in surprise. At the same time, the prepared Dak Galbi was served. I began my meal while waiting for her to respond.
She soon started eating as well. She probably needed time to think about what I meant. After quite a while, Jae-Ah finally spoke.
“I didn’t know there were so many women who had abortions. But what does that have to do with the novel?”
“It’s not that strange for the characters in my novel to act that way. It doesn’t carry much significance.”
Of course, I had no intention of overtly imposing my views on women onto a naive high school student. I could offer some help, but I shouldn’t force it on her.
“You said my characters are flat, right? That’s true. That’s how I thought and wrote them. It’s not necessary for characters to be three-dimensional. There are both three-dimensional and flat people in the world. I simply made a choice. If you felt uncomfortable, it’s probably just due to my lack of writing ability.”
“…Is that so?”
Jae-Ah’s critique was actually valid. My debut work, “The Boy’s Womb,” was something I started writing during my college years, and naturally, it had many shortcomings. I could only attribute my successful debut to sheer luck.
Jae-Ah seemed to have a lot on her mind as she quietly began to eat her Dak Galbi. She looked to have quite the appetite. After finishing our meal and stepping outside the store, Jae-Ah opened her mouth again.
“I understand what you’re saying. But is there really a need to express it as something feminine? There must be many women who have abortions due to unavoidable circumstances. That seems a bit… misogynistic.”
“Well, that may be true. But this is purely my opinion. You don’t have to accept it. I mentioned it because you said you read my novel; it’s a topic directly related to writing.”
Maybe it was because I recalled what had happened earlier, but I got a bit heated and ended up discussing something unnecessary with this kid. Nevertheless, it felt strange to hide such conversations from someone I was going to meet for a long time. If she had been a girl, I probably wouldn’t have brought up such topics at all.
“Don’t overthink it. It’s just talk; not every woman is like that, and there are women who aren’t.”
Maybe.
“Honestly, it doesn’t seem like a respectable statement.”
“If I were that kind of person, I wouldn’t be able to write under your father.”
“Father is that kind of person, indeed.”
“Anyway, I’ll give you my number, so send me a message on CocoaTalk. Whether it’s about a novel or anything else, I should at least know what you want to write.”
“Alright.”
That’s how I parted ways with Seo Jae-Ah. I saw her figure walking towards the building where Professor Seo’s office was located. It was about time for my appointment as well, so I turned my steps towards the bus stop.
After getting off the bus and taking the subway, it took about half an hour to reach her home from the university. As expected, she wasn’t at the meeting place. She didn’t answer her phone either. Was she expecting me to come pick her up at home?
When I arrived at her apartment and rang the bell, there was no response. Had she fallen asleep again? I turned the doorknob, and the old door, which was supposed to have a broken lock, opened without resistance. She still hadn’t fixed it.
“I’m coming in.”
As I entered, the smell of alcohol hit me strong.
I wondered if she had been drinking and forgotten the meeting time, but the situation was worse than that. Opening the door, I saw a couple lying on the bed, both intoxicated. She was nearly nude, and the girl was only wearing her underwear.
“Ah, damn.”
I quickly closed the door. I wanted to avoid being involved in this kind of situation with a girl. I was worried they might report me later for having seen her in her underwear.
I knocked loudly on the door and called out to her.
“Hey! Gang Hwa-won! Wake up, you brat!”
If I knock, it should open. Soon, the half-asleep Hwa-won answered in a still-drunken voice.
“Uh, huh?! You’re here?! Sorry, wait a moment. Hye-won, get up.”
After waiting in the living room for about ten minutes, the door opened. The girl who had been in her underwear came out, hastily dressed, and smiled at me.
“Ahaha, hello.”
“Wow, is it already this time? I’m sorry. I was working on something yesterday.”
I glared at Hwa-won pointedly. His name is Gang Hwa-won; like me, he is a novelist, a college classmate, and one of my few friends.
As I stood silently, Hwa-won read the room and took the girl, called Hye-won, toward the entrance.
“Can’t you at least introduce me?”
“She doesn’t like that sort of thing. I’m leaving now, let’s meet again later.”
Looking toward the entrance, I noticed them kissing passionately, oblivious to my presence. After their kiss, the girl hugged him tightly before leaving. Thankfully, she left quietly. There was a time when a girl had caused a scene, questioning why she had to leave when I was present.
“Phew, she’s gone. Sorry, I just wanted to have some fun, but she wouldn’t let go.”
“Are you crazy? What if she later claims #MeToo or something, and you create such a situation?”
“She wouldn’t do that. She doesn’t have the brains for it.”
Hwa-won laughed as he nonchalantly belittled the girl he slept with. That was just who he was.
Although I disliked women too, Hwa-won was a different case. He changed girls almost daily. On the surface, he appeared to be a sweet playboy, but when we were together, he referred to the girls he slept with in derogatory terms.
He loved women to the point where sleeping with them constituted half of his life, but essentially, he was a type of human similar to me. Though the direction may be a bit different.
“So why did you call me?”
“Did I invite you for some reason? I just wanted to drink.”
“Drink? You’re going to drink again?”
“Wait a moment. I’ll wash up and be right out.”
Hwa-won disregarded my response and headed straight for the bathroom. Though he loved alcohol, he was not the type to lose control to this extent; something else must be going on.
In his usual home, I didn’t notice anything particularly strange.
After he washed up and dragged me out, we headed straight for our favorite bar.
“So what’s going on?”
“Let’s drink a bit and then talk.”
Before the side dishes even arrived, Hwa-won gulped down some soju. He seemed to have something on his mind, but his silence was rather frustrating.
After exchanging drinks for a while, and by the time I had a bit of a buzz, he finally spoke.
“I failed in that contest.”
“Oh, is that so.”
It wasn’t particularly surprising news. Gang Hwa-won was a novelist. Though he was a novelist, he hadn’t made his debut. In other words, he was still an aspirant. I called him a novelist regularly, but in reality, it was still too early for him to be labeled as such.
However, it was still surprising that he was drinking this much over that. Though he was a carefree son of a wealthy family, even if he didn’t debut, he wasn’t struggling financially. There had to be more to it.
“And?”
“My father said if I don’t produce results within a year, I should come back and take over the company.”
Is that it?
It sounded like a typical spoiled rich kid’s complaint that would leave someone ready to smack him. To be honest, I didn’t feel great about it either. However, knowing his passion for literature, I didn’t show it.
Despite being a rich kid, a slacker, and a playboy, he was seriously facing literature. That’s likely why he was living this kind of life.
Without saying a word, I poured more alcohol into his glass. One shot, and there was no need for words between us.
“Do I lack talent?”
How should I respond? Though I’m calling myself a novelist, I’m not exactly someone great either. I’m just a young novelist who is finally gaining a bit of recognition in the literary world, without having any particular popularity among the public.
It was difficult to assess Hwa-won’s talent, whether he had it or not. And to be honest, I was afraid. My words could possibly determine the course of his future.
To my silence, Hwa-won poured alcohol into my glass with a bitter smile.
“Right, what good will it do to talk about this? I haven’t produced any results in three years.”
“There are people who can’t achieve anything for ten years and still succeed…”
“Shut it, man. I’m a glutton at heart, so I lack desperation. Even now, I don’t worry about starving to death; how can someone like that be a novelist?”
Is desperation ultimately what matters? Did I succeed because of my desperation while Hwa-won failed because he lacked it? I couldn’t tell, so I fell silent.
“So, why did you call Professor Seo?”
“Oh, he asked me to tutor his son, so I just met him.”
“Tutor? For what? Entrance exams?”
“No, just tutoring. He wants me to help with writing, but honestly, I’m not quite sure yet.”
“But you actually do that? I thought you’d refuse flat out given your personality.”
“I didn’t have much else to do these days. Besides, they said they’d arrange an interview for me at TTBS, so I had no choice.”
“Interview? Wow, you’re going to interview now?”
“It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. It felt like they brought up the tutoring just to arrange that interview.”
“Still, isn’t it great to have an article come out? That’s impressive.”
Hwa-won looked at me with a hint of envy. From his perspective, I must seem like someone who had something he didn’t.
I felt the same way.
That day, we ended up drinking until we were thoroughly intoxicated and then parted ways.
~
When I returned home, I was already quite drunk. My thoughts were muddled, and I dialed a number unsure of what I wanted to say.
The House of Love.
The place I grew up.
Maybe it was late at night, so they could have been annoyed, but the voice on the other end was still warm.
“…What’s going on, Guk?”
“Wong… Director… I’m Seol-guk.”
“You’re completely drunk. What happened?”
“What happened… Nothing, I just wanted to call.”
My words were tangled.
“Ah, so something good must be happening.”
The director seemed to know what I wanted to say simply from hearing my voice.
“How did you know?”
“You only call when something good happens.”
Ah, so that’s how it is.
“It’s okay to call when things are tough too.”
“Of course, if something happens, who else would I call? It’s always you, Director.”
“So, what’s going on today?”
“Um… I’m going for an interview. At TTBS.”
“Alright, that’s good to hear. I’m glad you seem to be doing well.”
Without realizing, my lips curled into a smile. Whenever I spoke with the director, I always ended up with this kind of expression.
“Thank you, it’s all thanks to you, Director.”
“I’m proud of you.”
Thank you.
I don’t remember what else we talked about during the call. The film cut off just like that.
Whenever something good happened, I always called the director. When I got accepted into college, when I succeeded in my debut, when I published my first book, I always called.
My desire for interviews wasn’t unrelated either.
By having an interview, it would naturally promote the orphanage.
In the end, it was about money. Although I donated more than half of what I earned to the House of Love, the financial situation of the orphanage was still not good. Every time the director called me with a request, I felt uncomfortable denying it.
Now, as my situation had stabilized a bit, I could donate consistently. But even so, I still couldn’t turn around the tilted financial situation by myself.
During the interview, I would talk about the House of Love. Honestly, I knew it wouldn’t serve as significant publicity. It would probably just be a small feature and maybe a couple of online articles.
Still, I wanted to do what I could.