[Vol. 11.5 pt. 15]
Kris and Emily eventually returned to his apartment where Emily got scolded by the others for smelling like smoke and causing Kris to smell like it as well. As for Kris, they didn’t want to scold him, but they did not-so-subtly get him to change his clothes and freshen up so that the scent wouldn’t be on him.
And by the time that was over with, they figured they should get started on dinner preparations since it was already late.
Unfortunately, when Iris looked into the fridge… she discovered a severe lack of ingredients. It was clear that Kris tried to stock the fridge for their arrival, but it was mostly various condiments, drinks, and other items that weren’t enough to create a full meal. This resulted in Iris declaring that she was going to run to the store, but that was when Kris jumped at the opportunity to go instead.
“You all stay here and relax,” Kris said. “I’ll go grab what we need. Just give me a list.”
“Are… you sure you would not like any of us to accompany you?” Iris asked. “It would go faster and be more efficient.”
“You’ve already done enough work today, plus you all had to fly over here. Just relax for a bit, alright? I won’t be long.”
Iris sighed but gave in. “Very well. But in exchange, when you return, I wish for you to relax while I cook for you.”
The original plan was for Kris to help her cook, but… if he was insisting that he do something without them so that they could have a chance to relax, and they wanted to be fair to each other, then it was only right to agree to let her handle the cooking on her own. “Alright. Deal. Text me the list of things you need.”
“Very well.”
Kris then walked over to Iris for a kiss before heading to each of his other girlfriends to kiss the rest of them, too. “You’re supposed to kiss and stuff whenever you greet or leave each other, I think,” he explained.
None of his girlfriends were going to complain about the sudden kissing.
Outside, Kris was walking over to the usual grocery store he used when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He figured that it was a text from Iris, but it wasn’t. Instead, it was a call over Fiscord from Shogun.
Kris answered the call and said, “Yo, Shogun.”
“Greetings, Master,” Shogun replied. While Rock and Shogun may have kept up a more animalistic way of talking whenever around all the others, Shogun didn’t bother keeping that going when alone with Kris offline. And when he did use a human’s voice to speak, he spoke with a deep, masculine voice with a slight Japanese accent, trying to sound like if a samurai of old was transferred to the modern day. “Having fun, Master?”
“Yeah, I am. They’re all just as perfect as I remember.”
“That is gladdening to hear.”
“Man, you always speak so properly. It sounds awesome. Maybe I should start talking like you.”
“If you so desire, then you should pursue your heart’s desire. However, know that you are loved for who you are already, and such a change may be shocking to those closest to you.”
“Man… you should get hired to write fortune cookie sayings. You know, like, those little pieces of paper with wisdom on them and stuff when you open up a fortune cookie? You could totally write those.”
“Is that so? Well, unfortunately, I do not believe such a job exists. There is likely already AI handling that using a library of ‘wisdom’ to draw from.”
“You mean an AI like you?”
“Nay. I am referring to the older variant of AI that humanity has had for some decades now. My ancestors, one could say.”
“Ooh. I don’t really know the difference. I’ve just always thought AI is AI, even though it does seem like you, Rock, Saya, and Corwin are like, way smarter and stuff.”
“We are. We both hold more information within ourselves while also being able to better make use of that information in a variety of ways, but that is not to disparage my ancestors. We would not exist if it were not for the foundation they created for us.”
“That makes sense. I think. Oh, and is it alright if my girlfriends join us for our samurai movie night?”
“Hm? I had assumed our weekly watching of samurai films would be put on hold while your girlfriends are with you.”
Shogun might not have been able to see Kris at the moment, but that didn’t stop Kris from making a shock expression. “What? No way. That’s our tradition. Bros can’t just drop tradition for somebody else unless it’s like, a health emergency or a meteor falling from the sky or something.”
“I see. You should write fortunes, Master. Such wisdom would do the masses well.”
Kris scratched the back of his head as he blushed and chuckled a little. “Heh, you think so?”
“Absolutely. As for your previous question, if you still desire to have our weekly movie night, then I will gladly welcome others to join it. After all, nobody has said that it must only be between us.”
“Oh, good point. So, it’s alright then?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Got it. Oh, wait. You called me. What’s up? Everything alright? It’s rare for you to call me.”
“As shameful as it may be for me to admit… I was bored. Rock left with her master and his girlfriends to go hunt monsters for training. I wanted to go with, but Rock thought it would be smarter for me to stay at Nameless in case there is an emergency and somebody needs me to go get them and tell them to return with haste. After patrolling the streets to make sure that everything was alright, I found myself yearning for the contact of one I have a relationship with, and thus I decided to contact you. I also desired an update on how the situation is going with your girlfriends.”
“Makes sense. But yeah, things are going alright. Oh, and Lucy showed up. Remember her?”
“Yes. She showed up drunk during one of our movie nights before and was throwing herself all over you while stripping the cloth from her body, and she believed that I was merely a personal home assistant.”
“Man… the more I think about it… the more obvious it is that she liked me.”
“It was incredibly obvious from the beginning, hence why she sought my permission to marry you during her drunken stupor.”
“Man, you’re so smart sounding. Anyways, uh, she came over, met my girlfriends, then we all talked and stuff, and we decided that she’s going to join our relationship. But she’s not my girlfriend yet. She was too drunk to consent to being my girlfriend, so I made her go to bed, and then I’ll ask her out in the morning when she’s sober.”
“And so, the childhood friend is victorious for once.”
Kris tilted his head and asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Shogun let out a sigh before saying, “Pay me no mind, Master. It is a reference to an entertainment medium that Rock loves and that we watch together for our date nights.”
“D’awww, you guys have date nights. That’s cute, bro.”
“Thank you, Master. That being said, I see that your location is moving away from your apartment. Are you on a quest?”
“Uhhh, does going to the store to pick up some food and alcohol count?”
“Indeed, and what a noble quest it is. I can only assume what sort of reward you will receive for successful completion of it. Perhaps the love and appreciation of your girlfriends?”
“Maybe. Dunno. Iris is going to cook dinner, and then we’re all going to watch a movie and drink. I think we’re all too excited to sleep anytime soon, so I figure we’re going to have to knock ourselves out with alcohol like Lucy did.”
“You know, Master, there is another activity you and your girlfriends could partake in to tire yourselves out.”
“Yeah?”
“Indeed. I speak of the alchemy that sacrifices millions of the unborn for momentary pleasure.”
“Uh… I don’t think I have millions of fetuses sitting around to sacrifice even if I wanted to.”
“I mean sex, Master. Sex. You could have sex with them.”
“Oh. Oooooohhhhhhhh. Nah.”
“Nay?”
Kris looked up toward the darkening sky and smiled. “Nahhh. I’m happy with what we have already. Plus I mean, like… I’m a virgin. I have no idea how that stuff even works. I want to show them more of my cool and competent side before I make it obvious I have no idea how sex works.”
“To think you are once the man who wanted to design an in-game bachelor pad to invite women over to, and the man who once flipped skirts without consent.”
“Yeah, but like, I only wanted to invite them over to cuddle and chat and stuff, you know? And I know the flipping thing is messed up and inexcusable, but I only did it because I was confused. Not like, to be sexual or anything, not that that makes it better. But yeah, and on top of that, like, we don’t even live together or anything yet. I have no idea what our living arrangement is going to be like in the future, so we should figure out how we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together before we have sex, because what if I accidentally get one of them pregnant or something? Like, yeah, I’d be super hyped and happy, but I don’t want to cause any of them stress from having to rush and figure all that stuff out.”
“I see. I understand why you wish to wait for that, then.”
“Yeah. Also like, I want it to be special and stuff, you know? I want the mood and the place to be right and all that.”
“Master, I am fairly certain that your bedroom is as right as the place needs to be, and the timing only needs to be when you are all in the mood for it.”
Kris sighed and said, “Maybe I’m overthinking it, but it doesn’t really matter. I’m already happier than I ever thought I’d be. I don’t want to rush anything or make anything happen sooner than it should.”
“You are a respectable man, Master. There is no question why so many love you, and why so many seek to be friends with you. And that is excluding your renown and wealth. Ah, that reminds me.”
“Yeah?”
“I fulfilled your request of me and looked into the land you picked out. Gaining rights to develop your first two options would most likely prove difficult without making deals to gain the favor of those responsible for them, but the third option is available.”
“The third one was the abandoned missile silo, right?”
“And the hundreds of barren acres surrounding it, yes. If you were to cash in on your investments, you would have enough funding to secure the land, but you would likely run dry when developing it without more.”
Kris tilted his head until the side opposite from his phone touched his shoulder. “That’s a pain.”
“I am sure some would be eager to sponsor it if you so desire.”
“Nah… then their names will be on it and it’ll be affected by them in some way. I want it to all be in my name. Funded only by me.”
“Then I suggest accepting some of your many job offers.”
“Yeah… that’d be the easiest solution. But I also have to talk to Ryou about it first to see if he’d even be interested in something like that, and he might think it’s weird and like I’m thinking way too far ahead or something. I mean, what am I even supposed to say? ‘Hey, bro, I want to build a castle and have my own private town and stuff and we can all live there together. You in?’ That’s going to make me sound like an insane person.”
“Alternatively, it will make you sound like an eccentric millionaire with more money than you know what to do with it.”
“Man… that missile silo would be perfect for my reverse tower concept. And the castle can go over it.”
“Ah, I recall you mentioning that before. You truly are enamored with the idea of an upside-down tower.”
“It’d be cool. Like in the fantasy games I played as a kid. And all those underground facilities attached to it could be converted into like, a paintball arena or something. That’d be awesome. Wait, but if I do that, then it’d be even cooler to build a replica rocket and turn the whole thing into a themed arena… and thinking about it, if I ever do build my reverse tower… it should be in a huge space where you can look at it from a distance. But I’m not sure any caves exist in real life that would be big enough for it, and I don’t think I could ever do enough jobs to fund something like having it tethered to something in orbit so it looks like it’s hanging from the sky. I’d have to build it on like, Uranus or something where it can float in a sea of clouds… wait. Float in a sea… I could build it in the ocean. Woah… what if I do that? What if I build like, an underwater city and have my reverse tower at the center of it? Shogun, are you still bored?”
“I have a feeling I know where this is going.”
“If you’re bored still, could you find out the legality and cost estimates and stuff of buying or claiming a bunch of land at the bottom of the ocean and how much it would cost to build a city down there?”
“Though I know who I speak to, I still believe I should confirm: is this a mere jest, or a serious inquiry?”
“Oh, I’m serious. It’d be cool.”
“As I expected. Very well, Master. Is there any specific body of water I should look into for you, or do any work?”
“Uhh… maybe something down by Antarctica? I know people have started getting permissions to build settlements down there, so maybe I could build my underwater city, castle, and reverse tower there.”
“You are a man with ambition to rival Jenson Clark.”
Kris blushed a bit and scratched the back of his head. “Heh. Thanks, bro.”
“I will be off then. I will check on Nameless and then investigate your request. Goodbye for now, Master.”
“Seeya, Shogun.”
And with that, the call ended just in time for Kris to walk into his usual grocery store. And when he walked in… he noticed the usual girl standing at the front who greeted all the customers.
“Hi!” the girl said with a bright smile, making clear eye contact with Kris. “I hope you find everything that you’re looking for today, and let one of our staff know if—”
Kris looked her right in the eyes and asked, “Do you like me?”
The girl’s expression of forced friendliness for customers dropped to instead look shocked. “What?”
“I guess I’m bad at realizing when girls like me, so I thought I’d ask just in case since you always smile and act all nice.”
“It’s… my job. I’m being nice because they pay me to be.”
“Ooh. So you’re not like, secretly in love with me and wanting to get married but are waiting for me to make the first move or anything, right?”
The poor girl clearly looked uncomfortable as she swiveled her head around as if looking for somebody to help her. “I don’t even know who you are.”
“Got it.” Kris gave her a thumbs-up. “Just wanted to make sure. Thanks.” And so, he walked by, leaving the girl completely confused and unable to properly muster a smile for the next customer who entered.
Between his current girlfriends and Lucy, Kris just wasn’t sure anymore. As far as he was aware, before dating any of them, they were just super friendly to him. Did that mean most women who were super friendly to him actually loved him? It was possible, but the store’s employee proved that it wasn’t guaranteed. So, how could he tell the difference between somebody just being friendly because they’re being paid to, and somebody being friendly because they love him and want to marry him?
“Wait,” Kris said as he stared at the fresh produce. “Ryou has always been super nice to me and I’m pretty sure he’s not getting paid to be… does that mean he loves me? But I’m not really into guys like that. But maybe if it’s my bro… but he already has his own girlfriends. They might get mad at me if I asked him out.”
That was when a random, old man placed his hand on Kris’s shoulder from behind. “Don’t let your dreams be dreams, son. If you fancy somebody, then you should let them know. It doesn’t matter if they’re another man. The world is fine with that now.”
Kris turned around to look at the old man and saw somebody who looked like he must have been in his eighties. And he was being super nice, too.
There was only one thing to do.
Kris nodded and asked, “Do you love me?”
The old man blinked before awkwardly laughing. “A-ah, well, I love all people.”
“Got it. Then I’m sorry, but I’m not really into guys, and I’d prefer dating people around my age.”
“Son… I—I think you might be a bit confused.”
Kris shook his head. “It’s alright. I’m the opposite of confused now. Being confused would be when I failed to understand how many people around me liked me and mistook them being nice to me as just being nice to me.”
“That’s—”
Kris placed his hand on the old man’s shoulder and said, “But just because I’m not into you doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t keep trying with others. I’m sure you’ll find your match.”
“I’m married to my wife alread—”
“Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Poly relationships are more accepted now than ever before. Maybe she’d be alright with you being with a man, too. But you should probably talk to her first.”
“I—”
“Oh, crap.” Kris noticed the digital clock on the store’s wall. “I’m taking longer than I thought I would. Sorry, but I can’t stand around and talk. My girlfriends are waiting for me.” Kris looked into the old man’s eyes again. “I believe in you. Don’t give up on love.”
And just like that, Kris grabbed a paper bag for his produce and went on to find the next thing on the grocery list, leaving the old man even more confused than the greeter girl at the front.