The Trashy Pd Has To Survive As an Idol: 문찐 [139+]

Am I seriously screwed right now?'

Seong Ji-won stared at me with unwavering eyes.

Over his current face, I could see the image of the youthful Ji-won from three years ago overlap.

Back then, I was just planning a new show. With someone like him—looks and a compelling backstory—it felt like a no-brainer to turn him into a buzz-worthy name. I told him not to give up on his dream of becoming an idol.

But the show got canceled and delayed several times, and by the time the project was finally confirmed and ready to air, Seong Ji-won had vanished without a trace.

Whether it was because he'd debuted as a failed idol under Daepa Entertainment or because my memory was faulty, I wasn't sure—

'No, that's not the issue right now.'

Either way, I had just been forcibly dragged into a scenario Seong Ji-won set up.

I could see why he was acting out of character—he'd brought me here, to the same place from back then, to test me, to gauge my reaction.

"…Hoyun."

There was no doubt about it. I was the person Ji-won was looking for.

Me, the former PD.

But logically, I didn't look like a 21-year-old back then. I thought I'd subtly hinted I was involved in the industry, but Ji-won somehow seemed absolutely certain.

"..."

Even if I was that person, there were too many contradictions. And he was still willing to believe it?

My head was spinning, trying to find a way out of this situation.

The system window, which had flashed an ERROR, had disappeared after telling me that Ji-won was suspicious of me. It hadn't shown up since.

Aside from today, the system had only shown ERROR twice before:

Once when Min Jiheon tried to use his ability to separate me from the system, and once during Shining Star Season 2 when I deliberately leaked a penalty.

'I can't let this go any further.'

Something the system told me recently kept nagging at me like a splinter.

That it was becoming unstable, and that things would only grow more unpredictable from here on.

That even for the player, it wouldn't end well.

"Seong Ji-won."

"…Y-Yeah?"

I quickly took control of the situation and purposely furrowed my brows like I was troubled, rubbing them with my index finger.

"Does he look as good as me?"

Time to put my specialty to work.

Denying. Bluffing.

"Weird. I mean, I'm pretty decent looking, but I don't have a common face."

"…But Hoyun."

Ji-won lowered his gaze slightly and said,

"Your face really isn't common, but this is… it's just too strange. It's really similar. The way you talk, your vibe, even the scar placement and your features. It's so uncanny, I'm wondering if I've gone crazy."

'You're right. Because I am him.'

"Wow, that's wild."

"…Wild…"

"He must really look a lot like me, huh?"

No matter how he tried to piece it together, the timelines didn't match.

I had jumped forward ten years, and that gave me an excuse that couldn't be easily refuted.

"…Someone who looks similar?"

Ji-won tilted his head slightly and muttered.

His tone still carried doubt, mixed with a bit of resignation.

It seemed like even he knew his theory was a stretch.

Just when I thought he might finally give up, Ji-won suddenly played another card.

"There's—there's one more thing. Hoyun, you asked me three questions on Christmas, remember? I remember thinking, How does he know me so well?…"

"You work at a broadcast station?"

"You smoke?"

"That guy's a total jerk, huh?"

Those were questions I asked, hoping to trigger the main storyline.

"But what if… what if you are that guy—?"

I cut him off sharply, just as he was fumbling for words like he was grasping at straws.

"Hey, that hurts, you know."

"…Huh?"

It felt like two tricks weren't enough, so I decided to throw in a third one.

The classic 'Is that all I meant to you?' move.

"I get it. That person helped you, sure. But what about me?"

I lowered my gaze and pouted slightly.

"I think I was really good to you while we were promoting as THE DAWN."

Since it had been a while since I pulled this trick, I stole a glance at Sung Jiwon to see if it was working.

"I know that person was a big deal to you, and I'm not gonna stop you from looking for them, but hear me out too. I'm not just some guy to you, right?"

"…"

"Hm?"

"…Yeah."

Sung Jiwon, who had quietly listened to everything, slowly nodded.

I couldn't read his thoughts from his expression.

It seemed like things had settled down for now, so I picked up the cake I had bought earlier and stood up. Jiwon also awkwardly followed suit.

Even as we paid the bill and walked out of the lobby, he didn't say a single word.

'Ugh… now I feel bad.'

It wasn't like lying ever bothered me before, but this left a bitter taste.

I hadn't even been particularly nice to him—so why was he so desperate to find me?

Honestly, part of me wanted to tell him the truth—that I was the person he was looking for.

But the reality was, I had no idea what might happen next, and the system was unstable. I didn't want to add the risk of Jiwon discovering who I really was.

"Let's go. The others are waiting."

"…Ah, yeah."

He answered a beat late, like he was somewhere else entirely. Then he forced a faint smile, like he was carefully folding away his emotions.

"The kids will love this cake. Let's hurry and eat."

"Yeah."

We crossed the lobby chatting casually, like nothing had happened.

"What are we doing when we get back?"

"Dunno, maybe I'll watch your birthday livestream or something."

We got into the taxi we'd called through the app and headed back to the dorm.

The sky was thick with clouds, and raindrops started to fall.

"It's raining."

"Oh, yeah, it is."

I was debating whether to ask the driver to drop us right in front of the dorm, instead of the main road, when Jiwon rustled in his bag and pulled out a small folding umbrella.

He handed it to me, and I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Wow, you even packed an umbrella?"

"Yeah."

"You really are as organized as you look…"

The words slipped out before I could stop them, and I bit the inside of my cheek in regret.

"...So organized."

"You're exactly as capable as you look."

It was the same thing I'd said to Jiwon that rainy day back then.

I turned my face toward the window, staring at the droplets trickling down the glass.

A cold sweat slid down my back with a strong sense of I'm so screwed.

Jiwon was also silent, lost in thought.

I'd never found silence so heavy before.

As soon as we arrived, I jumped out of the cab and strode quickly into the rain.

Just run. If he catches up, play dumb—act like you don't know anything.

I heard splashing footsteps behind me, hitting puddles.

"Hoyun!"

Jiwin grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. He was slightly out of breath as he tilted the open umbrella toward me.

"Hoyun, listen."

My heart was pounding, my mind in turmoil.

I had no idea what he was about to say, or how I should respond. Every nerve was on edge.

But instead—

"You might not realize this, but honestly…"

"Y-Yeah?"

"I'm really jealous, greedy, and kind of a jerk sometimes."

What came out of Jiwon's mouth was totally out of left field.

"But for some reason, from the very first moment we met, I really wanted to treat you well."

If he meant the first time, that would've been when I barged into Daepaseong demanding Cheongbeom's song. Jiwon had been the only one to welcome me.

"Maybe it's because you looked so much like him, like you said."

The rain grew heavier, soaking Jiwon's shoulders.

"Don't be upset, okay? You're more important to me now. It's just… I really wanted to thank him, too."

His lashes, lowered against the rain, lifted slowly, and his clear eyes locked with mine.

"I don't know why, but when he said, 'Let's meet again,' that one line meant so much to me. I held onto it to get through everything—"

Jiwon's voice was steady, like he'd rehearsed it a thousand times.

I had to press my lips together to stop any expression from slipping out.

"—And that's why I'm here now."

"…"

Even though he was drenched too, Jiwon gently brushed the rain off my shoulder, meeting my eyes.

"Thanks to you, hyung."

Then he smiled slightly.

A little nervous, a little relieved—that kind of expression.

"I really wanted to promise that I'd repay the favor someday, no matter what, but… haha."

Repay what favor?

I looked at him and sighed internally.

"…Hey."

I pushed the umbrella handle toward Seong Jiwon and said,

"I have no idea what you're rambling about, but let's get one thing straight."

There was one particular line that kept bothering me.

"You would've gotten to this point even without him."

"…Huh?"

"Look in the mirror. With that face of yours, who wouldn't be an idol?"

Even without my personal bias, if you looked at him objectively from every angle, it was just the truth.

Talent, charm, looks.

Even having just one of those is enough to survive in this industry with effort—but Ji-won had all three, and on top of that, he worked twice as hard as everyone else.

The reason the Daepaseong practice room always felt so bright was solely because of Seong Ji-won.

"You were just born to be this way, you bastard."

Ji-won, who had been listening to me with wide, blank eyes, soon burst into laughter.

"Ah…"

"..."

"Ah, Seo Hoyun… seriously."

The laughter that went on for a while eventually turned into sniffles.

"You're right. I was born to be an idol."

"Of course you were."

He probably still had doubts. Or rather, judging by our earlier conversation, it seemed like he already knew.

But as long as I remained here, the truth would always be just one thing:

The 'Seo Hoyun' of that day is not the same 'Seo Hoyun' standing here now.

'It can't be helped.'

That's just how life is.

Sometimes, even if you know, you have to pretend you don't and bury it.

Just like how I pretended not to hear the soft sobs of Ji-won mixing with the sound of the rain.

"…Hoyun."

"Yeah."

"But I, uh… I left the cake in the taxi."

"I figured. You bolted out of there like lightning."

When I played along, Ji-won rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and gave a small smile.

"It's fine. I'll get you something even better for your next birthday."

"…Okay."

Even though I didn't recognize him right away because of the scenario, somehow, we met again like this.

One way or another, I guess I did keep my promise.

I called his name, his eyes and nose tinged red.

"Jiwon."

Seong Jiwon kind, even to a selfish bastard like me.

"Happy birthday."

You don't need to keep any promises.