The Throne I Left

Johan sat on a fallen tree in the woods, feet dangling in the air. He was looking off into the darkness of the trees in the vague direction of their house, where Wrath now was.

He sighed and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and picked at his ribbon mindlessly.

Leif and the other villagers were surprised when they had arrived back at the docks with another person, but they had easily accepted her when they saw how familiar Note and Signe were acting with her.

It was good. The villagers were welcoming. Surprised, but welcoming. To Wrath.

Johan tok a deep breath, dragging his hands over his face. What was he supposed to do? A sin was sitting in his house. Not even just that, but Note and Signe had no problems with it. And Signe even agreed to marry her?! Was Johan supposed to support that?! Of course he would! It was Signe’s decision! But Wrath?! How bad taste could-

Footsteps approached and Johan tiredly looked up to see Note emerge. He was tense but visibly eased at the sight of Johan.

Johan looked away first, after only a short moment. He knew why Note had seeked him out and he didn’t like it.

“Funny to meet you here.” Johan said drily, leaning back on his hands and swinging his feet to make a point of seeming relaxed in the dim remains of sunlight.

“Why don’t you like Vero?” Note asked, stopping right in front of him and looking up with a hard expression.

Johan frowned unhappily and gave Note a long look. He really wasn’t going to like this conversation. Note’s hair was down, hanging straight to his shoulders. He must be anxious. Johan’s eyes caught on the hairpin, Note’s fist clenched so tight around it that the tendons were visible.

“What do you mean?” Johan asked coyly.

Note worked his jaw, clearly not happy, and Johan closed his eyes. They were getting straight to the point then. Maybe that would be easier.

He looked away, the sky was much more inviting to look at than Note’s angry face.

“It’s not that I don’t like her.” Johan started, glancing at Note as he did, saw his eyebrows draw together at the words. “You know what happened.”

“I remember things differently from you.” Note grunted.

Johan hesitated. This could easily become a fight if he didn’t word it right.

“That day.” He finally pushed out and Note’s face changed in an instant, anger becoming tension. He didn’t need to elaborate for Note to know what day he was talking about.

“The sins- maybe not all of them, not Frey at least… but most of them had a hand in you dying.” Johan struggled to find the words. “But Wrath. She was with Signe, they had just come back from a mission, and she still just watched. Watched as the two of you were dragged up there, wearing Signe’s cloak on her shoulder.” Johan tok a deep breath and rubbed his forehead, eyes already burning.

“She didn’t have anything to do with it.” Note said silently and took a step closer. Johan pulled his leg up on the tree trunk, away from his hand. If it was supposed to be comforting then Johan had news to him. It wasn’t.

Slowly, Note drew his hand back. “Come home, we’ll talk there.”

Johan snorted. The whole reason he went out into the woods was so he didn’t have to talk. He didn’t want this conversation. He didn’t want to see Wrath in their house. Really, he didn’t want to see her at all.

“If she didn’t have anything to do with it, why did I see her in the crowd?” Johan snapped.

“I don’t know.” Note said silently, and finally Johan saw something he could relate to. Note was afraid too.

“Look Note.” Johan sighed. “I know she was your friend. I know you want to believe her and that she didn’t have anything to do with it. But what if she did?”

“Well, what if she didn’t?!” Note yelled. “Frey and Sloth were both there when I was taken away, yet you still trust them?”

Johan stared for a second, it was a long time since he had seen Note like that. His eyes blazing, an almost desperate expression on his face as he turned to anger.

“I trust Frey.” Johan said shortly, softly. While ‘trust’ was going a bit far, Johan had still sought his help. Multiple times. He didn’t know what part Frey had in it all, but he had saved Johan, that at least meant something.

Note looked down, his fist clenching around the hairpin with so much strength Johan was surprised it hadn’t snapped. After a second he let out a long exhale, and seemed so calm down, his grip relaxing and his thumb running over the pin.

“She must have regretted it after.” Johan said, his chest hurt at seeing Note like that.

Note’s head snapped up to look at him.

“Well,” Johan quickly added, a shiver of disgust going down his spine at the memory. “The feeling in the mementos were real.”

“You’re right.” Note muttered. “Vero is real with Signe.”

Johan looked away, watching the sun start to disappear. It was real. Signe would leave. She and Wrath would get married. They would want their own house. They would leave. Johan couldn’t hold in his tired laugh, head hanging.

“It’s amazing she’s been with us this long.” He muttered. “Back in the day she never stayed for longer than a few days. Always off doing quests.”

It really was amazing that Signe had settled down so easily. She had always been restless, going on quests and missions the second Greed allowed her to. And even when she was in Heaven she would be doing something with Sloth and Gluttony. Johan could count on two hands the amount of times he had seen her outside of scheduled training.

“What do you mean?” Note asked.

“Don’t you see it? Signe is going to leave.”

“Signe won’t leave.” Note huffed out, like the idea was ridiculous.

“No?” Johan snapped and they both fell silent as the reality settled in.

“She might leave.” Note finally acknowledged, Johan looked at him triumphantly. “But she will always come back.”

Johan closed his eyes.

He jumped as the tree suddenly moved, sinking down as Note hopped up to sit beside him. For a long moment they stayed quiet and Johan watched the sun disappear completely behind the water’s edge.

It was one of those days, he noticed numbly, the bright blue and green lights dancing across the sky. To think that such a day had such beautiful colors.

“We’re family.” Note said quietly. “Even if we don’t always see each other, we’re still family and we’ll always be back together.”

Hah, Johan thought drily. Not always.

“It doesn’t matter, okay, Note?” Johan burst out. “Just be happy!”

Whatever they he and Signe ended up doing and wherever that would be, Johan would deal with it as long as they were happy.

“I am happy.” Note snapped and suddenly Johan’s arm was grabbed, roughly turning him around.

Johan stared wide eyed at Note. Why was Note looking at him like that? Like he was worried?

They stared at eachother for a long moment before Johan swallowed and looked away again.

“Well I’d hope so.” Johan huffed. “You have been here for almost a year, if you didn’t like it-”

“I am happy with you.” Note repeated insistently, then sighed, closing his eyes and turning away, letting go of Johan’s arm as he did.

Johan watched when, after a moment, Note turned back to him, a determined look in his eyes. He turned his body towards Johan, pulling one leg up on the tree next to him to do so. With a slow but purposeful movement he reached for Johan again.

Johan only watched cautiously. What had happened to angry Note? The energy had changed in an instant.

He felt Note’s hand wrap around his own, this time holding his hand and not his wrist.

“With you.” Note stated and Johan frowned. Note sighed again. “This village isn’t my home.”

Johan gaped. What was he even talking about? They had lived there for almost a year, they had grown close to everyone on the island, they had experienced so much there, how could he say it wasn’t his home?

“You are my home.”

Johan froze.

“Note..” Johan started but stopped, not quite sure where to go from there.

“At first I thought I didn’t like how much you had changed from before I died.” Note started, looking down at their hands. “You are so, so different. You’re selfish and stubborn-”

Johan blinked.

“-and confident, and this village has changed you even more. For the first time ever, I’ve seen you actually happy. And as time passed I realized I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you.”

…Selfish and stubborn? That’s how Note saw him?

“I...I’ve always been like this.” Johan said, unsure if he was supposed to be offended, but clenched Note’s hands back anyways.

Note shook his head. “You were dealing with the loss of your father back then. And right now…” He hesitated. “All I want is for you to be happy too.”

Johan stayed quiet.

“I wish this could last forever.” Note said silently. “Living in the village with you guys.”

Johan tensed. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Note set purple eyes on him. “It’s getting dangerous.”

Johan pinched his lips. He knew what Note was getting at but why was he talking about it now?

“You know what’s coming.” Note said, eyes staring into his. “Signe and I came back to life and Heaven knows that. It’s only a matter of time before they find us.”

“You don’t know when that will happen, it could be years. It could be never. It doesn’t have to happen.” Johan argued. As long as they stayed away from the sins it would be easy, barely any deities went outside of Heaven, so unless they were found, they were safe on the island.

Note looked conflicted, looking down at their intertwined hands and tightening his hold.

Then suddenly he let go and Johan was pulled forward, big arms wrapping tightly around him. For a moment he stayed completely still, watching the dark forest over Note’s shoulder in surprise, before he finally hugged back.

He felt Note shake against him, just barely, and dug his face further into the crook of Johan’s neck, a strong hand at the back of it. He was so close that Johan could feel his breath against his skin, raising goosebumps. Johan swallowed and ran a hand over Note’s back comfortingly, a cold feeling in his chest.

He hadn’t realized Note was taking it so hard. But of course he would. This must all be much harder on him than Johan could even imagine. Over the course of two years, Note had been killed twice, the first time he had immediately become a deity, and the other time had stayed dead only to wake up four years in the future.

Johan felt a lump in his throat and hugged tighter.

Note had seemed fine ever since they got to the village. He had settled down so easily. But now everything was becoming very real. They were being hunted again and Note was afraid to die yet another time. Who knew if he would wake up again if he did.

Johan would make sure that would never happen.

He stayed silent, letting Note decide when to end the hug. For a long time they sat in silence.

Then Note took a shuddering breath. “Whatever happens, you will be fine. You and Signe both, ok?” He muttered silently, words even more muffled against Johan’s skin.

Finally they pulled apart. Johan straightened up and looked at Note’s face, his eyes were shining but there were no tears in sight. He somehow felt worse about that.

Note gave himself a short nod, not meeting Johan’s eyes, and jumped off the treetrunk. Johan watched him take a few steps away, then turn towards him.

Note cleared his throat then looked up, right at him. Johan almost jerked back all the emotion in them.

“I want to give you something.” Note said. Then suddenly a dark shadow fell over them, Note’s eyes glowed purple and Johan froze, breaking eye contact to watch Note’s hands raise up to his chest, forming a ball.

Johan straightened, more than a little alarmed. Still, he was just as mesmerized as he always was when Note used his powers. It felt like an eternity since the last time he saw Note use his powers, all the way back to when they first got to the village, back when Note revived that wheat field.

Shadows came from Note’s hands, flowing from his hands like fog to collect on the ground around him.

His hands moved.

Johan jumped as a head suddenly popped up from the darkness between Note’s fingers.

Johan stared, jaw dropping open as a long, black beak clacked happily, a whole bird appearing from in between Note’s hands.

“For you.” Note said, smiling as he watched Johan’s reaction. The bird jumped around on top of Note’s palms.

“...A bird?” Johan asked, amazed. Note nodded, and with a flap of its wings, the bird flew, landing on top of Johan’s head.

“A raven.” Note answered with a huff of a laugh. The happiness was contagious. Johan tried to look up at the raven but only ended up tipping his head back. He reached up, feeling the tiny feet on his scalp, and then it’s head appeared in sight, head leaning down to look at Johan.

Johan gently petted it and it leaned into his hand.

“He’s yours.” Note explained with a quiet laugh and Johan’s eyes snapped back to him. Note’s eyes glinting with something other than sadness now. “With him you’ll never be alone.”

Johan swallowed. “I’m already not alone. But thank you. I didn’t know you could do that.”

“It’s pretty new for me too.” Note huffed. A small smile on his lips. He sighed. “I don’t know what’s coming, but when it does, we will get through it and stay together.”

“Yeah?” Johan asked with a smile, the bird chirping happily above him.

“Yeah.” Note answered, grinning.