The Tarnished in LOTR with Elden Ring

That night, the Dwarves slept deeply, except for Bilbo.

He had indeed fallen asleep during rest but soon woke from a nightmare, sitting up inside his tent.

Then Bilbo began packing his things, bundling everything up, including dirty clothes, leftover food, and his bedroll.

Everything except the tent itself.

With his pack on his back, he peeked out from his tent, and only after confirming that all the Dwarves, especially Bofur, who often noticed him, and Gandalf were fast asleep did he emerge carrying his pack.

Tarnes and the others were by the campfire looking away from this direction. The perfect opportunity to quietly leave.

A campfire burned in the camp, its flames driving away the animals and other creatures that came out to hunt in the wilderness at night.

"Hmm?"

Bernahl, on watch duty, was the first to notice the commotion from Bilbo's direction, though since Bilbo's tent was blocked by the Dwarves' tents, he couldn't tell exactly what was happening.

He nudged Tarnes with his elbow, only to find that Tarnes had already been watching Bilbo's tent.

"What's wrong with our Hobbit?" Bernahl asked quietly.

Tarnes frowned: "Don't know. He seems to have packed his things and is preparing to leave camp? Why would he do that?"

Bernahl chuckled quietly: "Maybe he's had enough of this journey? Of course, I don't mean he can't endure the harsh conditions of travel, but rather that he can't bear having no expected role in the team."

Tarnes pondered: "Hmm, possibly. Either way, I need to go check on him. Gandalf said we're already on the other side of the Misty Mountains. Even if Bilbo wants to go back, he can't safely return to the other side alone."

Bernahl shrugged: "Anyway, go talk to him. Even if he wants to quit this expedition, he can't just turn back here. That cave exit has been collapsed by you. If Bilbo wants to go back, he'll have to find another route through the Misty Mountains."

"I'll leave the watch duty to you for now." Tarnes pressed Bernahl's silver shoulder plate and stood up, walking toward where Bilbo had gone.

Bilbo hadn't gone far, because it was night and the wilderness environment was pitch black once he left the camp.

Everything around was dark, each of his steps accompanied by subtle sounds in the woods, like snakes moving through grass or nocturnal insects shuttling between branches.

In the distance, wolf howls rose and fell, breaking the night's tranquility and making Bilbo's heart race with taut nerves.

He stopped, listening intently, trying to discern the source and distance of these sounds, but only felt an inexplicable fear spreading.

Bilbo grew timid and didn't dare continue.

He instinctively reached into his pocket, feeling for that golden ring, as if the ring could give him courage.

Bilbo seemed to truly feel that after touching the ring, his timid psychology disappeared, and the surrounding darkness no longer seemed so frightening.

He even felt he could see things clearly in the dark.

Just as Bilbo was about to step forward and continue, Tarnes' voice came from behind him: "If you're really afraid of being alone, I could accompany you for a late-night stroll."

"Oh, Tarnes..." For some reason, Bilbo felt relieved, and the "courage" gained from the ring instantly vanished.

He withdrew his hand from his pocket, his expression somewhat embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Of course, anyone caught sneaking away in the middle of the night would feel uncomfortable.

Bilbo said awkwardly: "How did you come over?"

Tarnes approached. Instead of using starlight magic, he lit a lantern and hung it at his waist. The warm orange-red light instantly enveloped both of them.

Tarnes said: "Of course I saw you packing and leaving camp alone. What's wrong, Bilbo? Why do you suddenly want to leave the expedition by yourself?"

After saying this, he looked around the environment, cleared a piece of broken stone, sat down, and patted beside him to indicate Bilbo should sit over.

Bilbo obediently sat over, hugging his knees, not knowing where to start.

Tarnes comforted: "It's okay, you can think slowly. Even if you don't want to say anything in the end, that's fine too. Remember what I said? If you feel tired or uncomfortable and don't want to participate in the expedition, I'll respect your wishes. Even now it's the same, but we'll have to wait until we reach a safe place before I have Bernahl escort you back."

Bilbo hesitated for a moment, then said: "Actually, I don't feel tired or uncomfortable."

He smiled: "To be honest, you've all been very good to me, especially the Dwarves. Initially, the stories I read in books all said Dwarves were very stubborn, bad-tempered, and difficult to get along with, but actually, throughout this time, Thorin and the others aren't like what the books described. On the contrary, they're very considerate of me and take my feelings into account. Bofur told me that Thorin originally didn't want to go to Rivendell, no matter how you and Gandalf persuaded him. But we all know the result..."

Bilbo shrugged, and Tarnes knew what he was trying to express.

Then Bilbo sighed: "I really like this expedition team, whether it's you, Gandalf, or those Dwarves. I truly like you all, but precisely because I like you, I feel I should leave."

Tarnes listened silently and appropriately asked: "Why do you feel that way?"

Bilbo showed a bitter smile: "Because I feel I'm useless in this team, Tarnes. Before entering Rivendell, facing the Orc attack, I got sick and fainted, causing the team to waste time in Rivendell. And what happened today in that Goblin underground kingdom, Thorin could react in time to push me to safety, but it took me ages to react. Moreover, I couldn't stand steady on the suspension bridge and fell down, causing you and Miss Millicent to come down together to help me."

"I really feel useless, contributing nothing to the team, unable to help you solve any difficulties." He sighed heavily: "So I'm thinking, maybe I should leave, return to my Bag End, give up those adventures, and be an ordinary Hobbit. Enjoying seven meals a day, finally lying comfortably in my own bed, reading stories in books, or thinking about where to spend time tomorrow. I think that might be my life, not joining an expedition adventure that could be recorded in history books."

"I'm just a small person, not those heroes and brave ones in epic legends. If Middle-earth were a book, I should be a passerby whose name wouldn't even appear in the book."

Bilbo said a lot. He felt much more comfortable after expressing these feelings.

Then he looked at Tarnes somewhat anxiously, worried whether the other would think he was being too melodramatic, wanting to give up over such small matters.

But the result surprised Bilbo. Tarnes said gently: "I understand your feelings, Bilbo, but I think what you said isn't entirely correct."

Bilbo showed a surprised expression. He didn't know what he'd said wrong.

Tarnes continued: "You haven't been as useless as you imagine. In the Old Forest, you were the first to notice those Huorns disguised as normal trees approaching us. And in that battle with the Trolls, without your help, Fili and Kili wouldn't have dealt with the Trolls so easily. Moreover, throughout the entire journey, without you, the Dwarves would probably only be gnawing cold rations instead of enjoying warm, delicious meals at every meal. The reason they have energy to sing and tell stories is because they ate the food you prepared."

Bilbo replied incredulously: "But that's just food any Hobbit could make. I can't even call it cuisine. It's just simple cooking with fire and sprinkling some seasonings."

Tarnes nodded and smiled: "You're right, Bilbo. That's something any Hobbit could do, but... where are those Hobbits you mentioned?"

"They're of course in Hobbiton... Oh, I think I understand what you're trying to say, just some comforting words about me having things only I can do in the team." Bilbo wasn't stupid. Having read many books, he naturally understood the meaning of Tarnes' words.

Bilbo gestured: "I just... well, actually I don't know either. I know what you're saying is right, but I always feel that continuing to stay is holding you back. I don't think any Hobbit has experienced as many ups and downs as I have recently. Whether Elves or Orcs, or the powerful magic you and Gandalf cast, no Hobbit would see any of these in their lifetime."

But Tarnes asked curiously: "Why not Dwarves?"

Bilbo thought Tarnes would say some profound truth and never expected he'd ask such a question.

His originally self-pitying mood was made both tearful and laughable by Tarnes, and he replied: "That's because Dwarf merchants occasionally come to Hobbiton. They bring weapons, food, farm tools, kitchen utensils, and such from the Blue Mountains to sell. Of course, usually everything except weapons gets bought up."

Tarnes asked curiously: "Why except weapons?"

Bilbo explained: "Because Hobbiton is very safe, not dangerous like outside."

"Do you feel happy after experiencing these things outside?" Tarnes pressed.

Bilbo replied without hesitation: "Of course I'm happy."

Then after saying this, he froze and showed a helpless expression: "Tarnes, this doesn't really count as counseling, does it?"

Tarnes nodded: "You're right. Actually, I've never been good at talking. Sometimes I envy eloquent people like you. If I had half your ability, many friends wouldn't have left me."

He paused and continued: "Bilbo, actually, you wanting to leave the team is just because of your sense of responsibility. You want to contribute to the team, but you discover the team doesn't need you, so you start feeling pressure, thinking you haven't done well in the team..."

Bilbo quickly raised his hand to stop Tarnes: "Wait, wait, not to mention how these two parts of your speech suddenly connected, just saying my leaving is caused by responsibility is wrong. According to what you said, if I really had a sense of responsibility, I shouldn't be leaving without a word in the middle of the night."

Tarnes shrugged: "I told you I'm not good at talking."

Bilbo nodded with deep understanding: "Indeed, I can see that. Mr. Bernahl told me that when you chat with people, you're usually very direct."

He stood up and dusted off his bottom.

Then Bilbo took a deep breath and exhaled, saying with a cheerful mood: "But talking with you for so long has indeed made me feel much better... at least the emotion of wanting to leave isn't so strong anymore. Let's go back, while Gandalf and the Dwarves haven't woken up, or it would be embarrassing if they knew I suddenly ran out in the middle of the night."

Tarnes stood up, preparing to return with Bilbo.

Bilbo reached into his pocket and said casually: "By the way, Tarnes. When I was following you and Miss Millicent in that cave, I actually picked up something. Could you help me look at it?"

Don't show him!

When Bilbo touched that ring, this voice suddenly emerged from deep within his heart, and his expression became dazed for a moment.

Tarnes was walking in front of Bilbo at this time and didn't notice Bilbo's appearance: "Of course, Bilbo. What is it?"

Never show him!

Bilbo immediately withdrew his hand from the ring and came back to his senses: "Oh, it's... it's my courage. At least when facing those Goblins chasing us, I'm no longer like before, too scared to move when encountering Orcs."

Tarnes turned back with a gentle smile: "Of course, my brave Bilbo."

Seeing Tarnes' smile, Bilbo also ignored his earlier daze and followed.

"Oh, by the way, Bilbo." Tarnes suddenly stopped, making Bilbo inexplicably nervous for some reason.

He resisted the urge to reach into his pocket again and asked with a smile: "What is it?"

Tarnes said: "You just said we'd go back while Gandalf and the Dwarves haven't woken up, but I'm afraid that won't work. The Dwarves are indeed all asleep, but Gandalf isn't. Actually, he noticed you leaving and wanted to follow, but seeing me chase after you, he didn't come over."

Then Tarnes stepped aside, revealing Gandalf standing silently not far ahead outside the camp's perimeter.

"Gandalf..." Bilbo lowered his head somewhat embarrassedly.

He felt that running out alone in the middle of the night because he couldn't think clearly and making Tarnes and Gandalf worry was really inappropriate.

Gandalf also shook his head gently and said softly: "It's good that you're back. I was really worried you'd encounter some danger going out alone."

This caring remark made Bilbo feel even more guilty.

Tarnes patted Bilbo's shoulder: "Let's go back. Don't overthink it, Bilbo. If you don't rest anymore, you won't have good energy all day tomorrow."

About two weeks later, Thorin and his group finally reached a medium-sized human settlement.