The System Teaches You How to Be Human

Jiang Wenwen sat on her bed, hugging her legs while applying ointment to herself. Her exposed arms and legs were covered in bruises, though they had already faded to a lighter shade and would likely heal in a few days.

She applied the ointment habitually, but as she did, tears began to fall uncontrollably.

Recently, her father had stopped drinking excessively and hitting people. Rumor had it that he had been promoted at work, and the joy of success seemed to have lifted his spirits, sparing him the need to drown his sorrows in alcohol. For the time being, this allowed Jiang Wenwen to escape her nightly nightmares.

When her father beat her, Jiang Wenwen didn’t dare to move or cry out. Only when he was gone did she let out a few soft, cat-like sobs.

She wiped her tears haphazardly when suddenly, a strange sound came from outside the window.

Carefully, she opened the window and caught sight of a flash of gold darting past.

That golden streak was dazzling, like warm sunlight filtering through the gaps in the forest, scattering radiant golden spots into her vision.

Jiang Wenwen’s eyes lit up. She thought the golden streak might have been a cat.

A cat with such beautiful fur must be equally stunning, she imagined; graceful, with a lithe and symmetrical body, and surely a pair of eyes blessed by the heavens.

Jiang Wenwen dreamed of having a cat, a beautiful one.

***

Meanwhile, the fat orange cat, Si Yisi, rolled forward like a chubby ball in a hurry.

Si Yisi had just sensed a harmless gaze, likely someone who had never seen such a fat orange cat before.

He was well aware of his own appearance.

He wanted to lose weight.

Stray cats were typically very cautious, but Si Yisi, with his ball-like figure, completely failed to trigger any alarm in them.

Look at those stubby legs, that chubby body; he was practically rolling instead of walking. Could he even lick his own paws?

The stray cats began emerging slowly from their hidden corners, surrounding the uninvited guest in a circle. Their glowing green eyes locked onto Si Yisi, brimming with hostility. They bared their teeth and let out low growls, warning this “pet” orange cat to roll away from their territory.

Si Yisi ignored them. In fact, he stared at the cat group as his stomach let out a loud growl of hunger.

The original fat orange cat, Da Pang, had been a big eater with a hearty appetite, willing to eat even its fellow cats when hungry. Si Yisi had clearly inherited this influence.

“Meow!” A gray-and-white stray cat was the first to attack, followed closely by several others pouncing toward Si Yisi with their claws raised!

Si Yisi swiped a paw to knock over one stray cat while trying to kick away two others attempting to pin him down.

To his surprise, though his legs were extended, it wasn’t his effort that secured his small victory; it was the orange cat’s weight!

With sheer mass, he managed to press down on the two skinny stray cats, nearly flattening them into pancakes!

Si Yisi: “…”

He could feel the fat on his body jiggling, almost as if mocking him.

You, fat orange cat, relying on short legs to win? Your weight is more useful!

“Meow!” Si Yisi let out a loud cry and charged toward another attacking stray cat!

Once again, he failed to brake in time! His body rolled straight forward, crushing the lightweight cat beneath him like a sack of potatoes!

The stray cat let out a pitiful yowl, as if its days were numbered. Si Yisi, meanwhile, bounced like a ball and miraculously stopped rolling just in time!

Si Yisi, now stuck in this fat orange cat body: “…”

Is this weight my sworn enemy?

Despite the unexpected hiccups, Si Yisi’s ferocity and overwhelming weight managed to subdue the group of stray cats, forcing them to bow to him in submission!

The stray cats, quick to show respect, dragged out their hidden offerings; a few days-dead rats and small dried fish dug out from garbage heaps, to present to Si Yisi as tribute.

Si Yisi sharply caught the faint stench lingering on the offerings and waved his paw, signaling the stray cats to deal with it themselves.

“Meow~”

“Meow?”

The defeated stray cats were obedient, but they were terribly hard to teach. After several exhausting attempts, Si Yisi finally managed to make them somewhat understand what he wanted.

Waving his paw again, Si Yisi this time indicated he was heading out to forage for food.

Just as he began to waddle away, a group of stray cats behind him, sharpening their claws, suddenly charged in a grand procession behind him!

They were ready for a fight; something they were all skilled at!

Si Yisi: “???”

His expression resembled the universal symbol of confusion.

He finally understood how difficult it was to teach cats anything. Deep in his heart, Si Yisi missed Mo Wuchang, who would follow every command without question, even though Mo Wuchang wasn’t even the same species as him.

Si Yisi had no patience left for training stray cats; they needed long-term discipline! With a leap, he rolled into motion!

***

The street then witnessed an extraordinary sight.

A ridiculously fat orange cat dashed forward like a tornado, overtaking several small cars along the way!

Behind him followed a horde of stray cats, their glowing green eyes giving off an intimidating aura. Together, they resembled some kind of feline assassin squad.

“Meow!”

“Meow-oo~”

“Meow-aow!” Each of them let out their loudest, most desperate calls, trying to get their leader to slow down!

The cats couldn’t keep up!

A gust of wind whipped through the street, blowing a pedestrian’s hair into disarray as the cat horde raced past. The stunned bystander stared blankly at the bizarre scene, his lips moving after a long pause as he dryly muttered, “Spring isn’t here yet, but are the cats already in heat?”

“And how can such a ridiculously fat orange cat have so many admirers?”

Si Yisi streaked past like the wind, moving so fast he was nearly a blur. After much effort, he finally managed to shake off the stray cats that had inexplicably gone wild and began scouting for his dinner.

As he approached a narrow alley, Si Yisi heard the sounds of struggling and resistance.

A woman carrying a shoulder bag was frantically trying to break free from the grasp of a man next to her.

The man had his hand clamped tightly over her mouth, his arm wrapped like a steel band around her waist, dragging her backward!

The woman whimpered in terror, her weak struggles as ineffective as a light drizzle against the man’s brute strength.

Si Yisi immediately recognized her unwillingness. His round body sprang upward, and with a swipe of his paw, he struck the seemingly well-dressed man across the face!

Rip!

Si Yisi’s claws left a long, bloody scratch on the man’s cheek. The man screamed in pain and tried to retaliate, only to earn himself several more scratches!

Terrified by this ferocious, insane orange cat, the man no longer dared to continue his actions. Covering his injured face with a string of curses, he fled in pain.

The woman collapsed against the lime-washed wall of the alley, gasping for air in large, shaky breaths.

Suddenly, Si Yisi noticed the glow of a phone screen. He padded over and pressed his round body firmly over the device.

The phone was entirely black and rather old-fashioned. Its lock screen displayed a revealing picture of a woman. It was likely the man’s phone, which had accidentally fallen out during the struggle.

Just as Si Yisi was about to look away, a notification from a QQ group popped up on the phone.

His movement paused because of the message.

With narrowed eyes, Si Yisi scrutinized the QQ group displayed on the screen. His memory as a fat orange cat might have been poor, but he never forgot pain.

So, the original cat clearly remembered an incident where it had accidentally swiped open the phone screen left on the sofa by the drunken male owner of the house. When the man walked into the living room and discovered it, he snatched the phone back viciously and struck the original cat with a whip in a fit of rage.

At that moment, the man had glanced at a message that popped up on the screen, and his indifferent expression instantly transformed.

The original cat vaguely remembered the man’s urgent, furious gaze, as if the message it had inadvertently seen was something absolutely forbidden for anyone else to discover.

Because of the pain from that whipping, the fat orange cat also memorized the name of the QQ group that had caused it to suffer.

[How to Discipline Women]

The group name alone was filled with malice toward women.

Si Yisi pressed his paw firmly onto the phone.

By this time, the woman who had collapsed against the wall seemed to regain some composure. She covered her face with her hands, tears streaming down through her fingers.

Through blurry, tear-filled eyes, the woman looked at Si Yisi. “Thank you… Thank you for saving me,” she said, actually expressing gratitude to the orange cat.

She seemed to have been pushed to the brink mentally, and now that she had escaped the nightmare, she couldn’t help but look for someone to confide in.

In her daze, the woman began talking to Si Yisi, a fat orange cat, because, in that brief moment, she felt the cat’s gaze resembled that of a calm and reliable young man.

The woman’s name was He Zhilian, a single woman of an older age. Recently, she had been pressured into going on blind dates. The man who had just assaulted her was her blind date partner. Initially, He Zhilian had chatted briefly with the man over a few days, finding him tolerable, so she decided to get to know him better.

But as they talked further, the man’s many intolerable bad habits were gradually revealed. Feeling disgusted, He Zhilian proposed to end all further contact.

The man had verbally agreed and even allowed their most recent date to end without incident.

However, on her way home, the man had suddenly appeared, grabbed her forcefully, and started dragging her with all his strength.

The man, fully exposing his vile nature, had even told He Zhilian he was going to take her to a secluded place only he knew about so he could “properly discipline her.”

He Zhilian, completely powerless and frail, had no way to resist.

Just when she was on the brink of despair, this fat orange cat had appeared out of nowhere to save her.

“I can’t imagine… I can’t imagine what would have happened if he’d really managed to take me away…” He Zhilian choked on her words as she wept quietly. Suddenly finding the strength, she picked up the heavy Si Yisi and rushed out toward a crowded area.

She finally reached a place bustling with people.

“…Thank you.” He Zhilian wiped her tears away. She was so distracted that she didn’t even notice the phone hidden under Si Yisi’s plump belly.

She turned and entered a nearby store, buying a large amount of food for Si Yisi.

“Thank you. Please eat…” He Zhilian placed the food on a clean plastic lid.

Si Yisi, having no reason to refuse, ate slowly and methodically, not at all like a gluttonous fat cat.

“Would you like to come home with me?” He Zhilian asked after Si Yisi finished eating.

Si Yisi licked his paw with difficulty, shook his head, flicked his tail, and leisurely walked away.

He returned to the stray cat group, where the cats greeted him with their glowing eyes, creating an atmosphere of collective abandonment!

The phone he had brought back was still fully charged. Si Yisi unlocked the unprotected phone and entered the group.

He saw—