The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Lin Li returned to his seat with a frown.

As mentioned before, Lin Li's English grades were mediocre, and his spoken English was even worse than Bai Bufan's. Many words Lin Li could spell, but pronouncing them was impossible.

He  just achieved the excellent score of zero in the recitation test—you should try it too.

Anyway, next class he'd still be specifically called to recite.

Bai Bufan's recitation was also crap, but he stumbled through it somehow and only needed to recite it to the group leader after class.

This wasn't a big deal—the group leader was also a buddy who would turn a blind eye.

Now Bai Bufan had something more curious he wanted to know. Facing his English textbook, his eyes had long been glancing at Lin Li:

"Lin Li, what happened? What did the principal want with you?"

"Confession." The dejected Lin Li answered.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"I said teacher-student romance wasn't appropriate, I'd consider it after graduation." Lin Li said seriously.

Bai Bufan carefully recalled the principal's image in his mind, then felt admiration arise and clasped his hands: "You're really hungry."

Then Bai Bufan quickly intercepted the two envelopes Lin Li was about to put in his drawer. Seeing they weren't sealed, he immediately violated Lin Li's privacy by opening them, then his eyes widened.

His mind racing, Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li with pity: "The principal forced himself on you? Is this hush money? Lin Li, buy some good blocking medicine, don't get sick."

Lin Li couldn't be bothered to respond.

"Wait, will your farts never make sound again?" But Bai Bufan found another blind spot.

Lin Li: "?"

After greeting Bai Bufan's family tree, Lin Li took the envelopes back, casually throwing the one with money into his drawer.

Money in drawers or even on desks at school was very safe. Not only would most classmates not covet such things, but these days the huge surveillance camera above the front door was watching everyone.

However, things like tissues or snacks were extremely dangerous even in drawers, let alone on desks.

Especially tissues—if you came back even a little late after PE class, it was like roadside eggs in India—you could only see their empty remains after being fried by multiple people.

Lin Li began calculating the value of the supermarket cards.

"How come there are supermarket cards too, and they can only be exchanged for these things? Lin Li, I remember you don't really cook, right? Do you know how to use them?" After seeing the contents of this envelope, Bai Bufan asked again.

"Who said I can't cook? I know many recipes. Let me tell you, I have a homemade little dish~" Lin Li spoke in authentic Beijing Zhenghuangqi accent.

Bai Bufan reacted quickly: "You can't use soy sauce."

"...Then I've got nothing."

Teacher Yu Qian's recipe had three characteristics and one core: simple, cheap, terrible, with soy sauce as the core.

Better go learn Teacher Huang Lei's recipes—his seemed pretty good, basically no bad reviews on shows.

Who said these recipes weren't good? These recipes were fantastic.

After counting, the supply cards were worth nearly 800, and even discounted they'd be worth 700 minimum. He could keep them as backup hidden resources for emergencies.

Bai Bufan really couldn't contain his curiosity, "Bro, what was it really? Please, bro, tell me. I feel like ants are crawling all over my body right now, I'm so anxious I want to shit everywhere."

"Nothing much. Over the weekend I helped the local police station solve a case. They came today to give me a commendation letter and these rewards and gifts." Lin Li said.

Since the commendation letter would be posted, he couldn't completely hide it. Being constantly questioned would be troublesome, so better to roughly explain.

"Really? That awesome?" Bai Bufan's eyes widened—this sounded more credible than the principal's confession. "What case? The reward must be several thousand, right? What did you do to get so much?"

"I discovered and arrived at the crime scene. After confirming the criminal facts, I immediately called police, then personally engaged in close combat with one of the suspects to delay time. My body endured countless rubs and pressures from her. Multiple times I couldn't help but cry out, but with my unyielding will, I persisted until police arrived, finally thoroughly solving the case and returning clear skies to our Xiling Town."

Lin Li smiled slightly, calmly describing his glorious battle record.

"Bro, stop bullshitting and tell me the truth. Did you pick up a wallet with 100 million cash?" This description was too ridiculous—Bai Bufan completely didn't believe it.

"If there's one false word in what I just said, may my X be impotent." Lin Li snorted coldly, looking at Bai Bufan with cold eyes.

Now he had to believe. Bai Bufan knew Lin Li would absolutely never joke about his authentic Xiling chicken roll.

And Lin Li really hadn't lied at all just now.

He only regretted not battling with Xiao Jing for another twenty minutes.

Bai Bufan covered his mouth in shock, then examined Lin Li's body, seemingly looking for remaining wounds, but found none.

"The pain is in my heart, not my body. In this incident, the greatest torture I suffered was spiritual." Lin Li said calmly.

This was also true—heartbroken over those unexperienced twenty minutes.

Bai Bufan was truly convinced, "You're really awesome, but with your weak constitution, couldn't the criminals beat you? Isn't that a bit clownish?"

"Even the weakest person, if they use a slide tackle, even a tiger can only accept being disemboweled by toenails, let alone an unprepared person. Besides, I'm no longer the weak self I used to be. Bufan, quit that habit. You've never truly quit so you don't understand—quitting is like this."

"Who hasn't truly quit? What's so hard about quitting? I quit every day." Bai Bufan's face reddened—how could he sully someone's innocence out of thin air? "But you still haven't said what case it was. Was there robbery? Or theft?"

Good question—don't ask again next time.

But Lin Li was prepared.

"I just discussed this with the school and police station—it needs to be kept confidential, so I'm sorry, I can't tell you." Lin Li said with great master-like bearing.

"But you know my mouth is tight. I swear on my chicken roll too—dad, tell me, I absolutely won't tell anyone else." Bai Bufan was really itching with curiosity now, scratching all over.

"Buddha said: Cannot be spoken." Lin Li smiled and shook his head. "Bufan, just attend class honestly."

Lin Li adjusted his posture, preparing to enter sleep mode. He hadn't forgotten his original intention.

Bai Bufan was so angry his teeth itched.

Soon.

Bai Bufan suddenly turned his head again.

Xiling Town wasn't a big place.

News should spread quite quickly here, but this week he really hadn't heard of any major cases.

Besides, assisting in solving cases—what was there that couldn't be said? How glorious and awesome, yet he couldn't even tell his best friend.

The bond between him and Lin Li could be described like this: if two people were sitting on a sofa watching TV and one couldn't find the remote, he absolutely wouldn't ask if the remote was under the other's butt.

What could there be that couldn't be told to him?

—Unless it was the anti-prostitution case Zhou Baowei had mentioned.

"Lin Li, you didn't help solve the massage parlor case Baowei mentioned, did you?" Bai Bufan asked.

Lin Li closed his eyes.

"I know you're not asleep."

Lin Li opened his eyes and immediately rolled them, saying somewhat speechlessly: "How is that possible? Don't bother me, I want to sleep."

"Oh." Bai Bufan nodded—seemed like he was overthinking.

One minute later.

Bai Bufan turned his head again.

He recalled Lin Li's reaction when Zhou Baowei mentioned this recently.

Something felt off.

So he said eerily:

"Lin Li, swear on your chicken roll again?"

(End of Chapter)