The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

"Just kidding, just kidding, uncle. I'm livening up the atmosphere." Lin Li just thought the lawyer line sounded cool and wanted to say it.

If it weren't inappropriate to add profanity to that line, Lin Li really wanted to recreate Carl from "Shameless."

"Do you know my blood pressure has been kept very high by your 'livening up' this whole way? Are all kids from your generation this abstract?" Yang Liang was really getting a headache.

He now wanted to meet Lin Li's parents even more, to ask about parenting experiences so he could completely avoid such pitfalls.

"Not really. Excellent ones like me are relatively rare." Lin Li shook his head.

Among his peers who could obviously crush him, there was probably only Bai Bufan. Otherwise, how could they be good brothers?

"Great, the country still has hope." Yang Liang breathed a sigh of relief.

Lin Li: "?"

Such dirty cursing.

"I'll ask and you answer." Yang Liang waved his hand. He could see that if he gave Lin Li the initiative, the direction and style of things would definitely go astray to who knows where.

"First, how did you know Light Earl Health Club was secretly providing sexual services?"

"A friend told me." When in doubt, blame a friend. "As for my friend's name, it should be okay if I don't say it, right?"

"Actually, even if you told us, we wouldn't investigate him. But not saying is also understandable—it's your freedom." Yang Liang nodded. This was human nature. Then he asked the question he really wanted to know and was most curious about:

"So Little Lin, why didn't you report to us immediately, but instead had to first... experience it yourself before informing us?"

Ask me? You should ask the system!

You think I wanted to sacrifice my small self to achieve the greater self?

I didn't want to enter the game personally either.

But naturally he couldn't say this when the words reached his lips: "First, my friend actually only heard about this secondhand and hadn't actually been there, so to avoid making a false report, I definitely had to first confirm the truth of this information and get evidence.

So I went to investigate in person. When I called you, I had already confirmed the evidence.

Second, I must clarify something—I emerged from mud without being stained, washed in clear ripples without being corrupted. I didn't actually lose my chastity...

Wait, uncle, what's with that expression? You're laughing, right? I'm being very serious saying this."

"We've received professional training. No matter how funny something is, we won't laugh." Yang Liang pressed his palm against his mouth and said sincerely.

"Unless you can't help it?" Lin Li's teeth itched.

"It's not that I don't want to believe you, Little Lin. It's just that when I entered your room, you both hadn't had time to put on clothes." Yang Liang recalled the scene and found it hard to keep a straight face.

"No, speaking of this makes me angry. First, it wasn't 'us both'—only Xiao Jing wasn't dressed, and only her top." Lin Li's voice got louder. "Second, fortunately I have recordings to prove my innocence."

Lin Li took out his phone, opened the latter half of two extremely long recordings, and began playing them at high speed while occasionally jumping through the timeline.

"..."

"Miss, please conduct yourself properly!"

"..."

"Listen, listen, uncle! I really maintained my purity like jade! I even said ridiculous things like 'please conduct yourself properly'!"

"Forty minutes—this was forty hours! I waited for you for a full forty days! Ah sir!! Do you know how I spent these forty years when no one cared about me? How painful and agonizing it was!"

Lin Li stood up, shouting hoarsely with slightly reddened eyes, somewhat over-acting.

Yang Liang didn't speak but took Lin Li's phone and pulled the progress bar back a bit. The phone then transmitted Lin Li's own voice:

"...a little to the left, yes, press the muscle on the calf, use more strength, yes yes yes yes, damn! Ah~~ so good—this country is number one~~~ oh, yes~~"

"During these forty years, were you in pain? Were you agonizing? I couldn't tell from listening." Yang Liang looked seriously at Lin Li and asked sincerely.

Listening to himself moan was quite embarrassing. Did he really call out that loudly? The carefully constructed atmosphere of a years-long undercover agent angrily questioning his contact was completely destroyed. Lin Li scratched his head, sat back down, and said somewhat sheepishly:

"That's two different things. Speaking of which, although my body felt comfortable, my spirit was in agony and torment every moment..."

Yang Liang: "..."

You've said all the good and bad things, haven't you?

But he did indeed believe that Lin Li hadn't received gray services. Thinking about it, this was right—no matter how abstract someone was, they wouldn't knowingly jump into a fire pit when they knew his people were about to arrive.

Pulling the recording to the end, to the part where he was about to be forcibly serviced by Xiao Jing, Lin Li said:

"Did you hear? I had no idea she had undressed. If you'd really come any later, I would have been forced, defiled! Forty minutes—what kind of slow speed is that? I'm going to report you for passive work when I get back!"

Lin Li's tone was resentful.

Obviously, Yang Liang's professional training seemed insufficient—he was laughing quite happily.

Lin Li looked over with an even more resentful gaze: "No explanation?"

Yang Liang explained: "My teeth were too hot, took them out to air-dry."

"That's not the explanation I wanted!"

Only then did Yang Liang answer Lin Li's previous question: "Ahem, regarding what you just said, we need to clarify—we received notification immediately and didn't waste any time throughout, but these kinds of places are so cautious they'll even post lookouts at several street corners.

To ensure the operation's success, as you saw, we all went in plain clothes, drove our own vehicles, and we also had to mobilize personnel—all this takes time. Actually arriving in forty minutes was already quite fast. You really can't blame us.

And in your situation, even if something had actually happened, after consideration, we wouldn't pursue your responsibility."

"Ah? Why didn't you say so earlier? You misled me!"

Yang Liang: "?"

Looking at the regretful Lin Li, Yang Liang shook his head with a smile. This kid really climbed up when given a pole.

"I was wondering why you were so arrogant after being arrested, even wanting to wear handcuffs and ride in police cars. So you were fearless because you knew you'd definitely be fine and wanted to experience everything?" Yang Liang confirmed with some amusement.

Now he understood everything.

"Sort of. Plus I really couldn't reveal my identity on the spot—those arrested people were still there. What if I got retaliated against later?" Lin Li nodded.

"You were right to consider that. Caution was appropriate. Alright, this information is enough for my report. You're fine now, you can go. I'll drive you home.

If you still want to take photos at the entrance, you can go shoot now. I can drive a police car to take you back—consider it fulfilling your final regret." Yang Liang put away his paper and pen, then said.

"Sure, but uncle, I have one more thing."

"What is it? Tell me."

"It's just... for this undercover cause, I paid the extremely expensive price of 399. You know, I'm still a student—this is very important to me. I don't need you to reimburse me, but returning it should be no problem, right?"

Lin Li spoke cautiously.

This was 399!

798 packets of spicy strips!

133 bottles of iced Lao Da tea!

1 Spring Breeze Elf (Zhang Fei mold)!

He could fucking ride kiddie rides for a whole day.

Lin Li would feel terrible if this money wasn't returned.

"Didn't you get a massage?" Now it was Yang Liang's turn to tease Lin Li.

"That was worth 99 at most! I righteously refused the most important markup! How about this, uncle—refund me 200, and consider the rest our kickback to you." Lin Li argued reasonably.

"Kickback my ass!" Yang Liang laughed and scolded. "This money can definitely be returned to you, and if nothing unexpected happens, as the tipster you should be able to apply for some reward money.

But directly transferring from her phone now wouldn't be legal, and I can't do that. We definitely have to go through proper procedures step by step. If you need money urgently, uncle can transfer my money to you first, and you can pay me back when the money reaches your account."

"No rush, I can wait."

Lin Li waved his hand indifferently. He still had plenty of living expenses, so as long as the money could come back, everything was good.

"Anything else?" Yang Liang asked.

"Yes." Lin Li thought about it and nodded again.

"What?"

"Can you let Xiao Jing come out with me alone for 20 minutes? 10 minutes would work too, 5 minutes... no, 5 minutes won't work, 5 minutes is too short."

Looking at the enthusiastic Lin Li, Yang Liang: "?"

"I have important things to ask her. Oh, and please prepare a 1.8×2 meter big bed with a spring mattress, plus jelly, popping candy, ice cream—"

"Shut up, go home."

"Yes sir, uncle!"

(End of Chapter)