The Survivor’s Guide to the Wasteland

The Vault 81 observation wing was pretty abandoned. Other than the occasional pack of mole rats and automated security turrets, we didn't run into any resistance. As we ventured deeper into the eerie and long-abandoned observation wing of Vault 81 with two Scrapbots as escorts, I could sense Cait's curiosity growing. Eventually, her inquisitiveness got the better of her, and Cait couldn't resist asking the burning question in her mind.

"So, how did you learn about this place anyway?"

I paused for a second before pulling up my system to stop time and let me think of a proper response.

Like with Tanya and Isabelle, there was an inherent want within me that demanded I tell them the truth. But that ugly part of myself that told me people would react poorly to the truth was beginning to resurface, even though I had been proven wrong with Tanya and Isabelle.

I've spent enough time with this younger version of Cait to know that I liked her well enough. I really, genuinely admire her resilience. She's a tough gal who has dealt a terrible hand and is still trying her best. She was like Tanya in that aspect, and maybe that's why the two hit it off so quickly. Not so much with Isabelle since the quieter woman in my life doesn't know Cait well enough yet.

I want her to stay with us, partially because I like her and partially because I think she deserves to thrive in a better environment. I wanted to make sure I played my cards right and didn't overwhelm her or give her any reason to doubt that we were just ordinary people who wanted the best for her. Having come to that conclusion, I decided to keep the lie going on a little longer but promised myself that I would clue her in as soon as possible.

"As I said, my Vault had a connection to other Vaults, an admin Vault, if you will, and could see the various statuses of other nearby Vaults."

"Why? Aren't the Vaults supposed tae be self-sufficient an' closed off?"

"Well... Not really. Vaults aren't the bomb shelters you think they are. Well, they are bomb shelters, most of them anyway, but their purpose wasn't necessarily to keep the residents within safe as they advertised."

We turned the corner and saw another mole rat in the tunnel. I blasted it with my shotgun, but not before it could let out a screech that told any nearby buddies that we were there.

The girls immediately found a table and stood on it back to back. I had told them that these rats were diseased and that getting bitten would transfer that disease to them. Cait devised the idea for the two to stand on something the mole rats couldn't dig through and shoot them from above.

A pack of five, one glowing green, quickly surfaced from a nearby dirt mound. Sniffing around, they identified our scent and turned to us as a pack. The glowing one took a few more bullets than the rest, but we made short work of the group. After all, it was just mole rats, and they couldn't fight against the lead and laser shower we and the Scrapbots were dispensing.

When we were sure there wouldn't be any more of the rodents showing up, the girls hopped off their table, and we continued our search.

"You were sayin' how the vaults weren't doin' what they were supposed tae?"

"Right. The true purpose of the vaults was to perform experiments on people in the ultimate controlled environments. Vault 111, for example, was meant to test the feasibility of experimental long-term cryogenic storing of humans. The residents were told it was a standard shelter, but when they showed up after the bombs dropped, they were ushered into 'decontamination pods' only to be frozen solid."

"An' all vaults were like this?"

"There were some genuinely good vaults here and there, but those were few and far between."

As I said, we came across a two-story room lined on all sides with metal cages. Most of them were empty, while the few that weren't had animal skeletons in them. From the empty bowls on the ground and remains, it was clear that these were meant to hold animals.

"What was the experiment in this vault, and why is this whole area abandoned an' not known about?"

"The original plan was for the vault to develop a universal cure that could treat all ailments, from a simple fever to something as complex as tuberculosis. But to do that, they needed test subjects that had those ailments."

We moved past the cages and into what looked like a research center. Multiple rooms were filled with medical and scientific equipment. Once we were sure the area was safe, I continued my story while we scavenged the place for anything useful.

"They needed generations of people, so they devised the plan to have a 'normal' vault, where people would live normal lives and procreate, and a hidden vault, where researchers could release certain diseases and cures to test on the unknowing inhabitants of the first group and observe the results."

"They were going tae treat people like lab rats?"

"Yup."

"But how could they do somethin' like that?"

"Vault-Tec and the U.S. government were more the ends justified the means type of people. What's a few cracked eggs if the omelet could cure all human diseases?"

I let that sink in while we move on to the next lab.

"So why is it empty then? Where's this miracle drug they wanted so bad?"

"Well, not all people are evil, and sometimes, you get the right person in the right position to make the right decisions. The first Overseer had known the true purpose and sabotaged the whole thing. She ensured that most scientists didn't get the notification to start evacuating to the vault. However, three scientists still got in, and the Overseer decided to cut them off from the rest of the population. She was dooming them but saving the rest of the population from being experimented on."

We continued silently, digging through people's lifelong work from a bygone era. As I looked through some of their work, I recognized that it would be wrong to say that I completely disagreed with what Vault-Tec was trying to do. And let's not forget that by achieving her goal of protecting the vault's normal inhabitants, the original Overseer did doom an entire secret vault's worth of scientists to nuclear annihilation.

Ultimately, they were trying to do something for the greater good. It's just that I think they used the excuse for the greater good to justify taking shortcuts and unethical practices without understanding why those practices were frowned upon, to begin with. They saw those limitations as unnecessary barriers to progress instead of much-needed restrictions to stop them from going too far. It's a lesson I must commit to memory, lest I repeat the same mistakes as Vault-Tec.

"You still haven't told me why yer vault needed tae be able tae monitor everybody else."

"The point of our vault was to create equipment to boost the residents' productivity in a manner not dissimilar to Vault 81's. Residents would test things, from exercise bikes that generated electricity to gambling machines, without knowing they had been potentially modified to work against them. Once the equipment was done testing, the vault was to produce it and send it to other vaults in the area. Our vault needed to know what the other ones were up to so we could develop specific equipment for them."

"And yer from the vault that developed this equipment?"

"Yup."

What I told Cait was only a half-lie. From what we found in Overseer Barstowe's diary and terminal, Vault 88 did have access to other vaults and could monitor basic information for future delivery. What it couldn't do was see specific details, like generator statuses, but instead, just whether or not the Overseers of other vaults are requesting equipment.

It wasn't a half-bad lie, and it should work to keep Cait in the dark for just the time being.

"You know you don't have tae tell me where yer from if you don't want tae. If you don't think I should know somethin', just say that."

Apparently, it wasn't a good lie.

*Snicker*

And Tanya apparently agreed.

"You got something to say?"

I asked Tanya as she tried and failed to hide her laugh.

"Just that you're an awful liar."

I gritted my teeth, slightly frustrated that something wasn't going my way. I let out a sigh and pushed the frustration away, seeing that it was unreasonable of me to get angry at Tanya for being honest and who she was. It's not like Cait was saying she wasn't sticking around because of being, just that she didn't want me to lie to her anymore, which is fair and in character for her.

"I'm sorry, Cait. I don't want to lie. It's just that I'm not ready to tell you yet. But I promise I will."

"A appreciate yer honesty."

Cait then walked over to Tanya.

"So A' take it that you know?"

"Of course, I know. And if you want to as well..."

I didn't like how the two started whispering and purposefully keeping a distance from me, but I felt I didn't have the right to intrude, so I left them to it.

After scrounging inside the labs, we moved on to the next area. A few Stimpaks, Radaways, and a single syringe of Med-X made the effort quite fruitful. We also found a holotape with an access password, which was immediately helpful because the entrance to the next area was locked behind a terminal.

The door opened into a stairway on the immediate left that led upward.

*TCK* *TCK* *TCK* *TCK*

I stopped in my tracks when I heard something in the distance. Tanya and Cait also stopped gossiping, and we tried to make out what the noise was.

*TCK* *TCK* *TCK* *TCK* *SCREECH* *TCK* *TCK* *TCK* *TCK*

There were more Mole Rats, and by the sounds of it, it was the biggest pack we've seen up until now.

I put my finger next to my mouth so the girls understood to stay quiet; I then slowly peeked over and saw the most disgusting sight I've possibly seen in my life.

A dozen or so sizeable glowing mole rats reminded me of Glowie, whom I met what felt like ages ago in the Red Rocket I scavenged before meeting Isabelle. They were each at least twice as big as usual Mole Rats, but they didn't hold a candle to the freak in the center of the room.

What I saw was what I could only describe as a Mole Rat Queen. She was at least 6 feet long, and instead of the usual two pairs of legs, she had three pairs going down her elongated torso. Two roles of nipples were hidden mainly by pudgy little pink masses that I could see were baby Mole Rats. 

Excrement and liquids pooled around the disgusting creature as it was too heavy to move somewhere else to defecate. The smell was simultaneously pungent and horrid.

I slowly ducked back and took a deep breath, trying to scrub the image from my mind.

You know, I should have known better. Why would things be easy? There was an Ant Queen when I found Tanya, and apparently, the gate guard to Curie was a fucking Mole Rat Queen.

"What did you see?" 

Tanya asked, careful to stay quiet.

I simply shook my head and walked around them to where the Scrapbots were. I rummaged through their storage packs and pulled two heavy weapons out. A few moments later, I walked back up the stairs, a minigun in one hand and a quad-barrel missile launcher in the other.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Tanya couldn't help but whisper yell the question.

Not being able to hold back, Tanya and Cait popped their head over, and their eyes opened in shock. It didn't take long before they went back to cover and started dry heaving.

Can't say I blame 'em.

I stomped up the stairs, now not so worried about being quiet since I was about to go very loud anyway.

One of the glowing 'normal' mole rats turned its head toward the sound of my boots clattering against the ground and noticed me. It screeched to warn the last of its brood of my arrival, but it was too late.

By the time the remaining pack had recognized the threat I posed, I was already sending a rocket straight into the group.

*BOOOOOM*

The first rocket landed in the middle of three glowing Mole Rats. The shrapnel eviscerated the creatures, and the overpressure effect threw their corpses across the room.

I immediately sent another two rockets, turning another four Mole Rats into scorched carcasses. I aimed at the center mass of the Mole Rat Queen and ruthlessly lobbed a missile right into her belly where all the feeding infants were.

They were immediately blasted into bits, and a hole was left where the Mole Rat Queen's belly once was. The massive Mole Rat bellowed. Was it from the loss of its spawn or the gaping wound in its midriff? It was probably a bit of both, but I didn't care.

Not missing a beat, I let the missile launcher drop to the ground as I picked up my minigun and started dispensing lead into the shellshocked survivors.

*BANG* *BANG*

I could just make out the sound of gunfire coming from my right. Turning my head, I saw Tanya and Cait laying down supporting fire. It didn't take much before we had killed every single last Mole Rat but the Queen.

She hadn't escaped unscathed. Her body was riddled with bullet holes, blood, and other fluids dripping out of them uncontrollably. It was missing its lower jaw, stray bullets having ripped it off. Green liquid dripped from its gaping mouth, falling upon the concrete floor and burning holes into it, showing its acidic nature.

Of course. Why wouldn't the Queen have acid spit? Apparently, that's just a standard mutation since the Ant Queen also had something similar. I'm glad I went all out right from the get-go. Who knows what would have happened if we let it get off an acid spit attack?

While the Queen was Alive, it was just barely holding on. Deciding to put it out of its misery, I spun up the minigun and put a good few dozen 5mm bullets into its cranium. Having its brain shredded by bullets, the Queen's body jerked a few times before falling limp.

"Mon Dieu! My poor leetle darleengs! Why deed you have to be so violent? Surely zere was a more peaceful way to put ze creatures down?"

We all collectively turned to the source of the accented English.

On the right wall of the room, there was a wall with a giant glass window. Hovering on the other side of the window was a Miss Nanny.

I walked up to the Miss Nanny and addressed her.

"There was no other option. We weren't equipped or trained to euthanize them more humanely. And they were diseased. If we didn't neutralize them as fast as possible and one escaped, who knows what kind of havoc they could cause? Are you asking us to take that risk?"

"I... I guess you are right. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so quickly. I apologize."

"Don't sweat it. On to the more important question: who are you?"

"Oh! How rude of me; I am a Contagions Vulnerability Robotic Infirmary Engineer or CVRIE. But you can call me Curie."

While I knew this was almost guaranteed to be Curie, some of me still believed she might not be here. I mean, I've already seen plenty of weird shit that shouldn't have, so it was a weight off my shoulders when Curie identified herself.

"But where are my manners? Who are you, and are you Vault-Tec security?"

Right, Curie wasn't allowed to open the door or change her current task until Vault-Tec Security or a Vault-Tec employee gave her the go-ahead.

"My name is Basil, and I am a with Vault-Tec security."

"Superb! I've waited so very patiently for you to arrive. Can you please authorize me to be released?"

"Yes, I authorize your release."

"Mercy Beaucoup! Let me open ze door for you."

Curie then floated away to the door on the left before unlocking it from the inside and opening the room. She then quickly floated away to a set of lab equipment on a table and grabbed one of the vials. The three of us walked in and greeted the sentient robot. 

"First, as you are a Vault-Tec employee, I would like to give you ze broad spectrum cure. You are aware of eets eemportance? Oui?"

Curie held out one of her claws; within it was one of the most important medical breakthroughs the world has ever seen. Carefully taking it from her, I handed it over to Tanya so she could keep it safe.

"Yes, I am aware of the work that must have gone into it. I will make sure that it is used properly."

"Wonderful! Weeth my prime directive accomplished, please assign me another task."

While Curie has managed to develop sentience over the last few centuries, she was still beholden by her programming. She yearned to explore the outside world and develop new medical advancements for the changed world, but she couldn't do so without permission. Happily, I was more than happy to let her do it.

"Your new task is to follow me. We will go on adventures and explore the world, where you can work on advancing medicine."

"Zat ees perfect! I am so happy I feel like I can fly!"

Curie then lifted into the air another two feet and twirled. The girls couldn't help but giggle at robot displaying child-like glee while I also cracked a smile. Once she was done spinning, she returned to earth and ushered us out of the room.

"Come, come. I will show you a fastair way of leaveeng ziss place.

We followed the robot into a side tunnel with an elevator at the end. We could barely pack everyone in, but the elevator hummed as it took us up to Vault 81's ground level.

"I can not wait to see what ze outside world looks like. Are zere butterflies? Dr. Collins used to sing about zem, and I always dreamed of seeing them someday."

Right then, the elevator door opened, and we were thrust back into Vault 81 proper, specifically near the entrance. 

Except something was wrong. The bright lights were off, and the only lighting was from rotating orange lights.

"Warning. Vault power system failure. Warning. Vault power system failure."

As the vault PA announced that something had gone wrong with the power grid, a group of vault security turned the corner in full gear and saw us.

"They're there. Quick, surround them!"

The men in blue overalls and riot gear formed a semi-circle around us, their guns drawn and aimed right at us.

"Well, zis was not what I was expecteeng."

"Ye can say that again, lass."