The Strongest Curse Master

"Look who finally decided to show his face?" Alwin remarked, watching his son make his way to their home.

"Dad, what are you doing?" I asked in embarrassment as my dad sniffed me with a beer in one hand and a lamb skewer in the other.

"Checking if you're through enough. Here, just in case, let me rub some beer and grease on you," Alwin offered, feeling that his son appeared and smelled too clean and fresh for someone who was supposed to be hugging the toilet for the last couple hours after raiding Janice's prized wine cellar. His radiating face wasn't of someone high on wine. It was of someone who finished a sweaty workout before he enjoyed a relaxing shower.

Alwin had an inkling that Mandy and Lyra were lying, but now, after seeing and smelling his son, he was certain they weren't just lying but covering for him. He didn't care what his son was up to the entire day, but he didn't want his wife finding out. She was already worried that their son was growing too fast. This would only send her on another bender. And his wife was a mean drunk. For the peace of the Lander household, he planned to help his son lie better.

"Dad, stop it. People are watching," I said in shame as people I don't know watched as my dad tried to pour his beer and rub his half-eaten lamb skewer on me. "How many beers did you have? I think you're drunk. Where's Mom? Let me take you to her."

"It's my eleventh beer, but I am not drunk. That's beside the point. Why aren't you drunk? Do you have any idea how disappointed your mother will be? We discussed grounding you for one entire month. Be honest with your dad. Were you out with a gal? Well, who is she? Is she here at the party?" Alwin asked, knowing that a false storm alarm followed by a mild earthquake was enough to loosen up a girl, especially if they were out with a handsome boy like his son.

Alwin went on and on. He was clearly drunk, yet his words did not slur and his feet didn't seem unsteady. But he was a bit loud, enough to catch the attention of his brother.

"Hey buddy, are you having fun? Let's go put some coffee in you," Dan hurried over and took his brother into the house with a little help from his nephew before he made a fool out of himself.

"Ace, go grab a few of those lamb skewers. They are to die for," Alwin ordered his son, finishing his lamb skewer, as they dragged him into the kitchen.

"Ace, where were you?" Mary exclaimed, finally laying eyes on her son after an intense day. Nearing him with a scrutinizing gaze, she suddenly slapped his shoulder without any warning, asking, "What is wrong with you, young man? How many times have I warned you to answer my calls and don't let them go to voicemail?"

"Aww, Mom! I kept the phone on silent because I didn't want to be disturbed. Besides, you knew where I was, a quarter mile away, at Janice's with my cousin and sister. It's not like I was attending a rave party in some shady part of town. What gives?" I turned on my mother, blaming her for not having enough trust and faith in me, her only son.

"Yeah, honey. You better behave. If you don't want him to throw you in the old folks' home. I would hate to spend the last stretch of my life visiting you at the old folks' home," Alwin commented, reminding his wife of the consequences of her actions, while Pam brought him a cup of coffee.

"Don't worry, honey. I will take you with me. But for now, you, father and son, better behave if you don't want to go hungry," Mary countered, warning her husband and son about testing her patience, if they didn't want to make their life harder than it should be.

"I don't know about you guys, but I will draw my last breath on my ranch and have asked Mandy to bury me on it. If anyone tries to deny me my rights, they will have to talk to my shotgun," Dan said, leaning against the kitchen counter and opening a beer can.

"Yeah, right? It's good to have dreams, but don't forget you promised to take me around the world when you proposed. You have grounded our youth here in this small town. But I won't let you spend the last stretch of our life surrounded by smelly cattle and cleaning their dung. I would rather be one of those RV couples going around the country," Pam reminded Dan of his promise, revealing to us how he managed to tie her down, pouring water on his retirement plans.

"Don't worry, Auntie Pam. I will buy you guys a private jet and hire an entourage tailored for your personalities, so you can travel the world in luxury without any discomfort," I promised Pam. She might think I was just saying that, but I meant every word of it.

"Awe, you little sweet talker, you know how to spoil your aunt," Pam remarked, moved by her nephew's words. At least her nephew cared enough to say such sweet things to her compared to her husband, who appeared to love his booze, guns, and ranch more than her.

"This is great. Old folks' home for your mother and a private jet for your aunt. Your mother must be very proud of you," Mary said sarcastically, though she was aware that she was the woman her son loved the most as of now.

"He isn't just saying that. He really can buy you guys a private jet. You will see in a few days," Alwin blabbed, but nobody took the drunk's words seriously.

He had curiously opened his trading account earlier, only to find that the amount in it had doubled since he last checked on it. He almost dropped his phone in a scare. With that much money, no one in their family would have to worry about money ever again. And that was how he ended up drinking eleven beers in a row.