The Story of Man

We see a man by the name of John Schmidt enter the scene. He is an average man, but not Joe, because his name is John. He is about six feet, with a slightly athletic build, dark, short hair, and a mustache he realizes he must shave one of these days. Schmidt does not know that today, his life will change drastically and forever.

John (not Joe) walks home from his job at Average Joe Inc. This frustrates him, but only slightly, as his name is not Joe, but John. He ponders this while walking the streets of his beloved Corrupt City. As he walks, he notices a man struggling to take a purse from an elderly woman. John stops and stares as the dog in the purse yips, not wanting to be taken. John wishes he could do something, and to his shock the man rips the dog and the purse away from the elderly woman and runs away. Phew! I’m glad that woman didn’t steal that dog from that man. That could have been terrible!

After imagining what could have happened, with the lady stealing the dog and shooting his parents, John made a decision: he would become the hero known as Man, a protector over the city and destroyer of evil. He suited up after making his suit (obviously) and went out on patrol as Man for the first time. Man was very excited, as he had never done this before. He saw some crooks smoking cigarettes twenty feet from a building instead of the legal twenty-five and leapt down to take action.

“You can’t smoke this close to that building, man,” Man stated to the crooks. “Are you stupid?” The crooks did not respond well to this and threw their death sticks at Man. Luckily, Man had two legs and could move, and dodged the attack.

“You have done a bad thing. I will beat you up now, as you appear to have no remorse.” The evil men laughed at Man.

“And who are you supposed to be, freak?” One of the diabolical men asked. Man put up a wonderful fight, mostly punching, but also using some tricks he learned in that self-defense class he took in college. After knocking out two of the three men, Man grabbed the third by his shirt and, staring in his face, responded confidently,

“I’m stupid.”

Roxy Robyn Presents

The Story of Man