The Stars Have Eyes

Joe’s virtual face was screwed up in an expression of pure concentration, complete with narrowed eyes, lip-biting, and flared nostrils. He stared at the unstable tower of tiny wooden blocks before him as if it somehow held the secrets to the universe. Warily, slowly, his hand moved towards its midsection. His index finger and thumb gently gripped one of the rectangular blocks, which he proceeded to carefully coax out of the stack. The tower wobbled slightly as its weight shifted, but remained upright as the chosen block was skillfully removed from it.

Once it was clear the pile wouldn’t topple over, Joe gripped his new acquisition firmly and threw it at the person opposite him. The wooden block sprouted a metal blade as it spun around in midair. Now a small knife, the object precisely stabbed into Maggie’s forehead. There was a tense moment before the handle lit up and projected a small holographic sign that clearly and proudly declared, ‘300 points.’

“Jenga!” Joe triumphantly yelled while throwing his arms up. “Huzzah and hip-hip!”

His celebration was cut short when a knife-block identical to the one he’d thrown struck him right in the eye, which was apparently worth 500 points.

“Jenga,” the girl merrily declared.

“Ugh. Damnit, Maggie,” the man grumbled. “Couldn’t you have let me savor that for at least a little bit?”

“I could have. I chose not to.”

“So that’s how you wanna play it, eh?”

Joe plucked the blade out of his face. There was no pain, of course. Not the physical kind, at least. Getting absolutely dominated at Knife Jenga hurt his pride even if he fully expected this outcome. It was impossible for Maggie to lose a game of pure mechanical skill, and Joe was well aware of that when he challenged her. His intention wasn’t to win, though. Just the opposite, in fact. He had noticed that the two of them mostly played games that slightly favored his skillset over Maggie’s, so this was his way of letting her strut her stuff for once. It seemed to be working, given how the girl had been grinning ear-to-ear the whole time.

However, Joe was a simple, petty man, and couldn’t help but let his bruised ego get the better of him.

“I didn’t want to do this, but I’m afraid I’ll have to unleash my… secret technique.”

Maggie’s smiling face lit up with excitement. She always struggled with things like strategies and tactics, and hadn’t been able to think of any tricks that could be applied to such a basic game. Yet Joe apparently had one lying in wait, and she was eager to learn his ‘secret technique.’ She watched with bated breath as he leaned forward with focused intent. His eyes seemed to glint with determination and his face bore a confident smirk. His hands then gripped the edges of the table and, with the fury of a hundred exploding suns, flipped it over, sending the tower of Knife Jenga blocks scattering everywhere.

“Match aborted,” the game’s announcer declared flatly.

“Heh-heh,” Joe brazenly crossed his arms. “You’ve still got a long way to go before- Ow. Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow!”

Maggie was less than pleased at this development. Both the expression on her face and the eye-adorned tentacle tugging on the man’s ear made that more than obvious.

“Joe Mulligan.”

The words, ‘Uh-oh, full name,’ crossed the sore loser’s mind.

“We discussed this unacceptable behavior of yours, did we not?”

“Ow! Ow ow!”

“You agreed you wouldn’t rage-quit anymore, did you not?”

“Yes! Ow!”

“Then what was that just now?!”

“Okay! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, so please stop! You’re gonna rip my ear off!”

Indeed, it was a very real possibility since the girl was tugging on both his virtual and actual earlobes simultaneously in order to bypass the pod’s pain filter.

“It is my understanding that the human nervous system has a way of compensating for the loss of a sensory organ by enhancing the others.”

She tilted her head and widened her eyes, amplifying the unforgiving voids of her irises.

“Perhaps if I remove one of your ears the other one might actually listen.”

“But- Owww! Your obligations!”

“Ear loss is neither fatal nor permanent.”

As per usual, Maggie was terrifying when she was angry.

*BRRRRRRING*

“Oh, look, someone’s at- Ow! At the door! Better go see who it is!”

Joe took this opportunity and instantly logged out of V-Life. He’d never been so glad to hear a doorbell, nor had he ever truly appreciated the convenience of having it hooked up to the virtual reality pod. It was standard practice to integrate the two systems, of course. There wouldn’t be much point to a doorbell if the residents couldn’t hear it on account of being plugged into their pods. However, at that point in time, this seemingly basic feature had doubled as Joe’s lifeline. It was only a temporary reprieve, though. Maggie ‘woke up’ at the same time, and the look on her face made it clear that this wasn’t over.

The girl’s expression softened considerably when she noticed who was outside the door, just before Joe opened it.

“Evening, Mr. Mulligan,” Officer Maloney greeted him with a tip of his hat. “I apologize for the inconvenience, but may I speak to Miss Oh, please?”

Joe stared at the policeman for a good few seconds as his panic shifted to mild irritation.

“Uh, sure. Maggie?”

“Good evening, Officer Maloney,” she stepped out of the tiny apartment.

“Evening, Miss Oh,” he said with a small nod.

“I was not expecting you for another forty hours. Has humanity invented a more efficient means of faster-than-light communication since we last spoke?”

“Hah. Nothing of the sort. I’m afraid we’re still stuck to relying on couriers.”

Humanity, and indeed the rest of the galaxy, had mastered interstellar travel through wormhole generators. As one might imagine, bending the fabric of reality to create shortcuts through the vast emptiness of space was no simple matter. It required expensive machinery and tremendous amounts of energy, but it was by far the most expedient and cost-efficient method of getting from one end of the Milky Way to the other. However, the civilizations of the galaxy had yet to discover a means through which they could communicate across the cosmos in real time. As such, any information, messages, and other data had to be transported like any other cargo. Barring emergency dispatches, it usually took several days to receive a reply to any letters or missives sent to other solar systems.

In Officer Maloney’s case, he was waiting to hear back about a suspect he was investigating from neighboring solar systems, which would take another two days according to freighter schedules.

“I’ve actually come bearing gifts.”

The policeman lifted his left hand to show he was carrying a stack of white plastic boxes in a bag. Each of them was stamped with the crab-themed logo of Leonardo da Pinchi, the classiest seafood restaurant in the area.

“I do not require tribute, Officer Maloney,” Maggie said matter-of-factly.

“What? No, it’s nothing like that. See, I got called down to Leo’s because a couple on a date were causing a huge scene, right?” he started explaining himself.

“Could you get to the point?” Joe interrupted. “We’re kind of in the middle of something.”

“Sorry. Long story short, I handled the situation so well that the owner was really impressed. And grateful. He gave me a whole bunch of food he was going to throw away tomorrow as thanks. It’s way more than I can eat by myself, and I wouldn’t want it to go to waste, so I’m passing it around to all my mates and colleagues.”

“I comprehend,” Maggie nodded. “In that case, I shall assist in minimizing the wasteful spoilage.”

“That and she’d really like to try the nebula lobster special,” Joe chimed in.

“Indeed,” the girl quickly wiped some drool from her chin.

“Haha. Well, don’t let me keep you. Good night, Mr. Mulligan. Miss Oh.”

Maloney placed the take-out boxes on the ground and went on his way. Maggie’s lecture was temporarily postponed as she brought the high-class seafood dishes inside and instantly got into them. She ate in small bites and chewed slowly, fully savoring the free meal. She even tossed a few pieces to Azgod’Kalar, who was chilling amidst her coiling locks as per usual. The tiny serpent seemed to like it, and his owner agreed that it was exceptional.

The girl had been quite curious about Leonardo da Pinchi’s menu ever since she saw an advertisement for it weeks ago, but Joe refused to go there. Not because of the prices. They were actually surprisingly affordable, and Maggie could easily cover them besides. It was the overly posh atmosphere. A basic bloke like Joe didn’t belong in that kind of swanky establishment, and would surely feel awkward and out of place. It was disappointing that he refused to go, but Maggie wasn’t going to force him to. That’s why Maloney’s gift was most fortunate. It made her so happy that she silently decided to postpone her lecture indefinitely.

Joe, on the other hand, seemed to be in a foul mood. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the food. He absolutely did. Even though V-Life had all kinds of delicious treats, the real deal definitely had a different feel to it. It wasn’t a matter of taste or texture, but a psychological response. Knowing that the virtual cuisine was fake tended to make it less satisfying for most people. That was why customers preferred the genuine article over the digital replica, and Joe was no different. However, he was definitely bothered about something, and Maggie deemed his mood odd enough to warrant addressing.

“Is something worrying you, Joe?”

“Hm? No, not really.”

Magge instantly grabbed his already aching earlobe and pulled on it.

“Ow-ow-ow-ow! Okay! Okay! You’ve made your point!”

The girl released him with a sigh. It still baffled her how this guy kept forgetting she could immediately tell that he wasn’t being honest, but that was hardly the most important subject at hand.

“What is causing you such prolonged concern?” she asked.

“Prolonged? What?”

“You have been behaving oddly ever since the incident. Is the sequence of events involving the shooting the cause of your concern?”

“You… could say that,” he said evasively.

It had barely been a week since Joe saw Maggie die and come back to life, then slipped into a two-day coma. Logically speaking, even he would suffer some psychological scars after an ordeal like that. Both the medical droid and Joe himself assured her he was fine, but the girl refused to accept their claims. The human mind was a tricky thing that tended to convince itself that it was healthy even when it clearly was not. Joe’s judgement couldn’t be trusted, and neither could the machine’s. True, it had advanced diagnostic software and several libraries’ worth of medical texts in its memory, but it was a synthetic mind devoid of free will or self awareness. The very notion that it could accurately psychoanalyze a sentient creature was ludicrous, at least in Maggie’s opinion. Admittedly the girl was hardly suited to the task either, but she knew someone who was.

“Should we go visit Dr. Boring after all?” she suggested.

“… Who?”

“A mental healthcare professional in our area. His online reputation is quite promising. He will surely help you overcome any trauma you might have.”

“Ugh,” he rolled his eyes. “I don’t need to see a psychologist.”

“Psychiatrist,” she corrected him.

“Same thing.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Look, I’m telling you, it’s nothing that serious. Also, those guys creep me out. With their little glasses and big beards and bald heads.”

Now that Joe mentioned it, Maggie realized that was actually a trend. Thinking back to her browsing activities, almost all of the psychiatrists she looked into had one or more of those features. Dr. Boring in particular was three for three. Was it perhaps some kind of social construct? An unofficial uniform? Or did the field of psychology simply attract people with those kinds of grooming preferences? No, those were questions for later, and she couldn’t get sidetracked.

“So you know precisely what is bothering you?” she pressed.

“Yes! I just don’t want to talk about it!”

Maggie wasn’t having any of that. It wasn’t some obligation that made her so persistent, but her own feelings of guilt. She felt personally responsible for putting Joe through that ordeal, and her budding conscience wouldn’t calm down until she was absolutely certain that there were no long-term complications. That said, perhaps she was being a bit too pushy. The subject of mental health seemed to be a sensitive one, so perhaps pressuring Joe any further would only backfire.

“I comprehend,” she relented. “I will be here to assist when and if you wish to entrust your thoughts to me.”

The guy watched her go back to her alien seafood platter with a look that implied he couldn’t believe that argument worked. Once the shock wore off, he felt his ears burning. Not from all the pulling that had gone on, but from a surge of shame. Here she was, the most beautiful, understanding, smart, strong, and terrifying - but in a good way - girl he had ever met. She was only trying to help, and he brushed her off like a jackass. Maggie probably didn’t care about being rejected, but Joe absolutely did. After being shot down by romantic prospects time after time again, he was deathly afraid that the girl of his dreams might disappear from his life. That was why this subject was so difficult for him.

That said, if there was one woman out there that would tolerate his petty, childish, and pathetic problems, it was Maggie.

“It’s about Officer Maloney,” he finally revealed.

“… It is?” the girl was utterly confused. “Are you concerned he might arrest you?”

“No, of course you don’t get it,” he groaned. “And you probably won’t unless I embarrass myself like a twat trying to explain.”

The man rubbed his face with both hands and paced around the tiny room as he collected his thoughts. Meanwhile Maggie quietly set her half-eaten dinner down and gently lowered herself so that she was sitting on the floor instead of in the air.

“Try and picture things from my point of view, right?” Joe began. “I meet you, someone absolutely fantastic and charming beyond belief, completely by chance. You decide I’m this curious and interesting bloke and follow me home, we spend all this time together and it’s a blast. Like, unbelievable. With me so far?”

The girl nodded firmly.

“And then, this Maloney guy shows up out of nowhere and starts acting all familiar with you. He keeps dropping by, talks to you in private, brings you stuff. He even has his own little name for you.”

“Your concern is my relationship with Officer Maloney?”

“What? No, don’t be silly!” he waved his hands around in an exaggerated manner. “Why would I be bothered about a good-looking, fit, successful, employed guy in uniform regularly talking to the girl I like? The girl that only follows me around on a whim? That’s ludicrous!”

Maggie’s eyes narrowed and she pointed questioningly at Joe.

“Yes, that’s sarcasm,” he anticipated her question.

“Oh!”

The girl smiled, satisfied that her guess was on the mark.

“Oh. Ohhhh…”

Her expression changed to concern and then to enlightenment as she realized why Joe was acting that way. He was jealous of the policeman. It was curious how the shooting didn’t even seem to be a part of it, but other than that, it all suddenly made sense to Maggie. She felt she really should have realized this sooner, what with all those soap operas she followed. Then again, the events and characters in those shows were overly dramaticized. Real jealousy was far more subtle than she had been led to assume.

Furthermore, Joe’s concerns were completely unfounded. Officer Maloney did all that because he felt indebted to Maggie after she indirectly awakened his inner detective. Ever since then, he had sought her guidance and advice on various leads, patterns, and investigations that he was now actively conducting. He was a disciple at most. Him calling her ‘Miss Oh’ was something he started doing since he felt ‘Mags’ was a far too informal and inappropriate means of addressing an existence of her caliber. On the other hand, calling a sweet young girl something ominous like ‘Magh'rathlak the Observer’ didn’t feel right, either. So, he started referring to her by the first letter of her title, which proved sufficiently acceptable to both parties.

Maggie knew all that, but Joe didn’t. He hadn’t been made privy to their talks since Officer Maloney didn’t want to drag a civilian into his police work without good reason. Then again, he’d probably still be jealous even if he did have all the details. Emotions related to romance tended to be powerful enough to trump logic and reason on a regular basis. As such, alleviating Joe’s concerns wasn’t a simple matter of explaining the situation. Even if that worked and put him at ease, it was only a matter of time before a similar misunderstanding happened. Maggie would make sure to clear things up regardless, but if she was to properly address this issue, then she had to treat the underlying cause of Joe’s jealousy.

Namely his abysmally low self-esteem. Joe’s need to compare himself to Officer Maloney likely stemmed from his feelings of inadequacy and incompetence when it came to women. Addressing such deep-rooted insecurities wasn’t something that could be done quickly, or easily. Well, not without some serious brain scrambling, but that was too extreme an option for something so minor. Maggie determined that her best course of action was to give him a push in the right direction, and she knew just how to do it.

The girl stood from the ground and walked over to Joe. She wrapped her hands around his back, pressed her soft mounds against his chest, and nestled her head against his neck. It was no mere hug, but an intimate embrace. The poor sod was completely taken aback by the gesture. Completely unsure of how to react, he held his hands up as if he was being arrested and started stammering something incomprehensible.

“I’m sorry,” Maggie spoke softly. “I understand.”

“Wuh? Y-you are? You do?”

The man’s mind was racing as it made a futile attempt to determine where she was going with this.

“Yes. It is my fault that you feel this way.”

“It is?!”

“I have failed to consider your emotional state, which has caused you distress.”

“Don’t be like that! It’s all because I’m such a-”

“Joe Mulligan.”

The man instantly clammed up and tensed up as the phrase ‘Uh-oh, full name’ once more bubbled up to the forefront of his thoughts.

“Do not underestimate your own worth as an individual. Though you may be inferior to a specimen like Officer Grant Maloney in terms of physical fitness and mental faculties, I must reaffirm that these qualities are not the basis for my ongoing interest in you.”

“O-oh. Yeah, I know. I’m just a goofy science experiment that sometimes teaches you pointless things,” he said bitterly.

“This is true. However, you seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of exactly what this connection means to me.”

“Then explain it to me!” his frustration spiked. “I’m not a mind reader! I can’t tell what you’re thinking unless you use your words!”

“Speech has its uses, but also its limits. What I wish to convey cannot be trusted to such a basic and inefficient form of communication. That is why I intend to relay my thoughts to you directly, in a way that cannot be misconstrued. However, this method carries a risk even I cannot fully mitigate. Knowing this, will you accept my unfiltered thoughts, Joe Mulligan?”

“I… I think I would like that, yes.”

“Then you should comprehend what is required of you next.”

The girl pulled her face up, closed her eyes, tilted her head slightly to the side, and stuck her lips out. Joe was absolutely stunned. Of all the ways he imagined this discussion might go, this wasn’t one of them. He knew what he was supposed to do, of course. He had fantasized about this moment far too many times to admit. Yet, now that he was here, he hesitated. Looking down at Maggie, he felt as if he was staring at a deep abyss far beyond his comprehension. Ironic, really, considering his casual and relaxed attitude during their first meeting.

Paralyzed by indecision, fear, and uncertainty, he stood there aghast for a full minute. Then two. Or was it five? Maybe ten? Joe was so nervous that his sense of time was completely screwed up. Yet regardless of how many seconds had actually passed, Maggie didn’t move from that spot. She just stood there, pressed against him, waiting patiently without a hint of backing down. Incidentally, she also smelled really, really good. Like apples, specifically. Joe liked apples, and focusing on that relaxing aroma calmed him down. Having relaxed a bit, his heart stopped thumping madly in his ears long enough for him to hear himself think.

Stop faffing about and just kiss her, you daft cunt!

With that last self-derisive push, Joe screwed up his courage, threw his arms around her, and placed his lips on hers. It was his first real kiss. Maggie’s too. And then, much like any other fresh experience, the girl took it a few million steps further than expected, as per usual.

Joe felt his awareness expand exponentially outward. By the time he blinked, he could see mega-city Dave-156 in its entirety. Then he witnessed the planet Butterpond-4, followed closely by the rest of the solar system. He then beheld the particular arm of the Milky Way where his home was located, but it didn’t stop there. He saw the rest of the galaxy, then all the other ones, including the immeasurable distances between them. It wasn’t until he felt as if he was staring at the entirety of the universe at once that his awareness ceased growing.

There, within that vast quantity of uncaring nothingness, represented by a soul-crushingly insignificant speck, Joe saw his own self. It was an extreme level of perspective that could easily leave a sentient mind mentally scarred and deeply traumatized, or at the very least cause severe depression. However, there was something there with him. A dark void that shone paradoxically bright surrounded that seemingly inconsequential point, enveloping it in its un-light. It showed that, with all of creation at her disposal, out of infinite possibilities, and in spite of an unthinkable number of variables, Maggie had chosen him, and him alone to embrace with her entire being.

And Joe felt pretty good about that.