The Shadows Within

My sweet dreams were suddenly taken away when I found myself in a dark room.

“Hello? Finn, where did you go?” I mumbled, unable to translate well between states.

I was with him a moment ago, holding hands while looking at the sunset at a beach back in my world. Suddenly, I didn’t know where I was. However, I didn’t realize it was a dream until this point.

“The demon king isn’t here, dear.” A voice I recognized erupted from the shadows.

Soon after, the same light from when I came into this world materialized before me.

“You…” I trailed off, taking a step back.

In an instant, Serena was visible in all her splendor.

“Hi, chosen one. We meet again.” She giggled, taking a step towards me.

“Stay back,” I warned, hitting a wall behind me.

The last time I was with her, she didn’t care for my wishes.

Laughter broke out from her. “Oh ho, what? You don’t fear a demon, but you do a god?”

Don’t you dare compare yourself to him!

Even though my hands shook with anger, I had to stay civilized, especially to someone who could fuck with everyone I cared about in a single whim. I wasn’t about to lose what I had gained.

Ah… I finally have something to lose. I… No focus!

“You gave me something I didn’t want! Forced it on me! Now I…” I trailed off, leaning into the wall.

Everyone I care about is depending on me while I can’t even…

Again, I wanted nothing she would give.

“And he tore your arm. Is there any difference between us?” she questioned, shifting her gaze towards my injured arm.

How dare you?!

“That was my choice! Don’t you dare put that on him!” I snapped, feeling something surge within me.

It triggered her to laugh again as she waved her hand to summon a chair before sitting on it.

At least you’re not getting any closer, but this... Why are you here?

That golden hair glowed brighter than the last time we met, and her husband was nowhere to be seen.

“Haha, you really fell for him—poor innocent Finn, driven mad by vengeance. There isn’t any cure for their curse. I hope you know that.” She informed, blowing her nails soon after.

“I’ll find it,” I assured, clenching my hands into fists.

I could use my bad arm in this place, allowing me to clench both into fists.

“And what if the only way to save everyone is to kill Finn and destroy the crystal?” she tested my resolve.

That can never…

“I’ll find another way.” I declared, not backing down.

“Silly child, why? That man has killed many people. Even that poor prince’s family was all gone in one of the demon rage sprees.” Serena huffed.

What prince?

“He can’t control it,” I informed.

“Honey, he loves it when he loses it. It’s like a beast being released from his chains. He barely has any humanity in him.” Serena smirked.

Lies… The Finn I know…

“No, that isn’t true. He tries so hard not to lose himself! Don’t squander his efforts!” I growled, not liking how she put everything.

You aren’t a beast.

“Funny thing, he didn’t show you any more of what happened after that dreadful party.” She added, tapping her hands on the chair’s armrest.

Even if I didn’t see, I knew how much he suffered.

How alone you must’ve felt while in that enraged state, the pain that you were in… No, I don’t need to see to know how you killed off your emotions to survive. All the things you did are the reason why we met that day!

“That doesn’t matter to me!” I huffed, steeling my resolve.

Serena tilted her head, giggling. “Really? Have you asked him what’s in the castle's dungeon you live in?”

That was the other restricted area I hadn’t seen, with the scent of death lingering.

If it’s anything like the throne room, I…

“I don’t need to know,” I answered, shaking my head.

There was no doubt that place also held other horrors, but after seeing everything he went through. I couldn’t blame him. Not when they screwed him so badly.

A man with nothing to lose is more dangerous than the one with everything to lose.

Honestly, I wasn’t the right person to be righteous, too. Before I came to this world, I wanted nothing more than death until Finn broke through everything with his gentleness. Something that wasn’t easy for him, especially when I was part of the same kind that took everything away from him.

Unless all of it is an act, even so, you’ve treated me better than those before you.

“Of course, you wouldn’t want to know anything that changes your view.” She challenged.

You… bitch…

“Hey, tell me something. Why didn’t you stop that massacre?” I questioned, glaring at the goddess.

She smirked, getting up from her chair. “Why should I, a god, do anything else but look at the mess mortals do?” she countered.

Placing one hand on my face, I smirked.

I really am no saint. Not that I wanted to be one. Who the fuck would pray to you? A waste of…

“Typical. You’re just like the one in my world. It does nothing but look at people who starve, suffer, and die! Who the fuck are you to judge Finn’s pain?! Or the path he takes?!” I snarled, facing her head-on.

If we’re the villains, so be it. I’ll help you destroy the world if it saves you, but it won’t. Serah isn’t wrong.

“What?” she questioned, making me step towards her.

This bitch is the same as all those righteous bastards that speak the word of god but then look the other way when it benefits them.

“Those who ignore pain and suffering shouldn’t have a say in anything that happens! So, fuck you! I owe you nothing!” I declared.

Her eyes widened before bursting out into laughter.

“Ah… I was right. You’re so very interesting. Perhaps once you die, I’ll make you one of my slaves. I’m sure my husband and I can show you a good time.” She licked her lips.

It caused me to shiver right where I stood.

“That’s disgusting! Fuck you!” I snapped again.

Again, laughter erupted from her before she closed the gap between us. I struggled not to flinch, but I couldn’t help it. I thought she was about to hit me. Instead, her hands touched me gently.

“I thought since you were being so docile towards the demons, you changed, but you genuinely like them.” She smiled, tilting her head to the side.

“I don’t care what you have to say!” I went to slap her hand away, only for it to phase through.

It surprised me. However, I tried not to show it. These beings loved to fuck with us, and the last thing she needed was more ammo.

“Ah well, you don’t want to know what I came to tell you?” she smirked, trailing her hands down my cheek.

Her touch was nothing compared to Finn’s, who I enjoyed always leaving me tingly, while hers left me cold as stone.

“I have no interest in what you have to say,” I announced, pulling away from her.

I would rather go back to my dream with the demon king. It was nicer than whatever this is.

“Even if it involves what the humans want to do to Finn and Serah?” she questioned.

Instantly, I turned around.

“What?” I mumbled, feeling my core grow cold.

The last time Soren appeared, Finn lost himself to his curse.

That can’t happen again. I was lucky to bring him back once, but who knows how long it would’ve taken him if I hadn’t done it? Or if I can even do it again.

Having my attention again made her smile.

“The humans plan to use Evelyn’s power to destroy Serah. If that happens, all the demons will die too. Though your sister is still far from learning how to use her magic, she can use it, unlike you.” She informed.

I glowered at her.

They can’t… I won’t let them!

“Such a scary face. They have a reason to do this, so you know.” She shrugged, tugging away from me.

“Nothing could justify killing them all!” I growled.

She hummed, shifting her eyes towards the side. “The miasma started spreading again five years ago. Before then, it had been contained in Fathal. By now, it has already taken over the elven groves. Now, all that’s left is Traedan. The barrier holds the haze at bay for now, but soon enough, that’ll fail too.”

I shook my head. “Sounds to me that their past actions are catching up to them.” I huffed.

She raised her eyebrows before smirking. “Should the new generations suffer from the actions of the past ones?”

“If they follow their steps, I don’t see why they should be saved.” I declared.

If their salvation came from Finn’s death, I…

“Well, how about this? If the miasma takes over, everyone will be demons. If that happens, there will be no one left to feed on. The demons will go mad with hunger, too. Nyla, Ryker, Gael, Brielle, and Finn will all be monsters you can’t control.” She informed, triggering me to clench my fists.

That’s…

“You don’t know this, but some generals have human farms. Sebastian’s one of them, but is that any way to live? Heck, it won’t even sustain everyone. Just a selected few, and who to say that orc will share once the rest of the food source is out.” She sighed, shaking her head.

That will give him more leverage over Finn. No, it can’t happen.

From my short interaction with Sebastian, I knew he wasn’t on Finn’s side. Serena walked away from me, creating an image of what being part of that farm would look like. They were nothing more than enslaved people.

Much like cows to slaughter.

Chills ran down my spine as I shifted my eyes, unable to endure those conditions.

Sometimes, death is sweet mercy.

“Finn’s sweet to you. He has Gael to feed off whores to add essence to his food, but he can only feed those in the castle. His magic isn’t infinite, and without brothels in the human lands, well…” She warped the image to show Gael in the act.

“Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I’m too much for you again.” The blue-haired man smirked at the bodies lying around in the room.

All the surrounding humans begged him to stay, but he kept walking, paying the toll without looking back. His harem consisted of both females and males. He didn’t kill his victims, but anyone else would rarely satisfy them after spending a night with him.

Such was the touch of an incubus or succubus.

One of the many things I learned from reading bestiaries in Rizak’s library.

“Can you imagine what it would be like to ingest another’s bodily fluids? Or if he had been anything like your father?” she questioned, leaving me feeling off.

The thought alone left me feeling cold, trembling where I stood. Yet something else caught my attention.

“How?” I mumbled.

She smirked. “Evelyn’s memories are ours. So, we know everything through her eyes. However, we aren’t as biased as her. We can see how wicked the man supposed to protect you was.”

“I…” I trailed off, dragging my gaze to the floor.

Serena sighed, “Hey, will you be like those who ignored you? Or will you care and destroy the demons before they end the world? They’re nothing more than a plague.”

I glared at the goddess. “No… If anything, I’ll save them all.”

It triggered her to chuckle like a mad woman.

“With what? You don’t have control of your magic! Having both has made you unstable. I thought you’d be amazing, but you’re turning out to be nothing.” she pointed out.

“I’ll find a fucking way!” I declared, holding my shirt.

There has to be a way for Finn and the others to survive.

Serena appeared amused by my words before flicking her hair to the side and stepping closer to me.

“Hah, good luck. Oh, one more thing. That pesky bracelet connects your life to the demon king. You’re essentially immortal to the passage of time.” She informed, pointing towards it.

Raising my left hand to inspect it, I saw it still hadn’t changed.

This makes me immortal. What?

This was one confusion that would clear up quickly.

“Of course, you still can die by physical or biological means. The humans haven’t realized it yet, but you’re another way to get Finn killed. If they use it right.” She clarified, making my heart drop.

What? No… It…

“Does Finn…” I trailed off, feeling like a hole opened in my chest.

Serena nodded, gazing towards the side. In the image, Finn and Rizak appeared.

“He knows. Well, only he and the owl are aware of this, though. Suppose the other generals find out. They might try to kill you to get rid of him. He’s the only reason the demons haven’t feasted on all the humans or turned them into farms.” She continued.

Ah… I knew Finn wasn’t heartless.

However, that raised another question, which had more urgency than everything else.

Not only Solas… but…

“Why would Finn link himself to me in that way?!” I questioned.

A sting in my chest grew more prominent than before. It was probably what kept him from killing me that first day—a contingency plan in case I did precisely what I did when I met him.

But you never told me! Did you save my arm because of it, too? No… I wouldn’t have died if I lost an arm.

If they had stopped the bleeding, I would’ve lived. They saved my arm because they wanted to.

“Sylvia, it’s because you’re the last hope they have. They’re gambling everything on you. Their last chance to be free of their nightmares.” She announced, pointing towards me.

“This is because they want me to lift the miasma?” I mumbled, shaking my head.

Can I even do that? No… you just said I’m a failure! How can I…

I clasped onto my chest, feeling like the world's weight was on my shoulders.

“Correct. So, if you fail, all is lost for those you care about, and if the humans win, they die too either way. It isn’t looking good for both sides, and my husband is growing impatient.” Serena warned.

You… You could’ve stopped this!

“All while you do nothing but watch,” I growled, glaring at her.

Her eyes narrowed as I knew there was much more she wasn’t telling.

“Oh, but I sent you to them. What more can you ask from me?” She scoffed, reaching towards me. “Tell me, Sylvia, will you be a failure or the wildcard that saves everyone? Salvation or damnation, which will you be? Ah, I can’t wait to see!” she smirked.

“I…” I mumbled, not knowing what to say to her.

Before I could say anything, everything became blurry. Our time was up again.

“Will you save Finn before he’s crucified? I wonder. Will you lose your heart again?” Her words echoed around me as I reached for her.

“Wait!” I screamed, jolting awake.

It was still the middle of the night, and I startled poor Solas awake, too. He quickly scoured our surroundings, thinking there was danger, but no one was there. However, when my eyes traveled to the mirror, there was a mark on my face. Where she touched, there was a faint yellow glow.

A sign Solas couldn’t see, as he was none the wiser. Yet it alerted me that the goddess visited me and that everything she said wasn’t a dream—a warning I couldn’t forget.