The Shadows Within

Finn… you’re skyrocketing my danger meter! I think I do have one!

Words refused to leave my mouth as I stared at an enraged demon king. His face had scrunched up to inhuman extents, the skin morphing to relieve the tension.

A soft chuckle left his lips, “How strange… You aren’t one of us, are you? No, no, no, definitely not. How did an intruder slip away into my hoard?”

Before I could answer, he shrugged, “Mmmm, it doesn’t really matter since I’m going to eat you now, okay? I’ll feast in your flesh, little mouse.”

“What? Wait! Finn, it’s—” I tried to speak but stopped when he raised his arm.

His image flickered in my mind, replaced by the lovely, gentle Finn I had known before this.

“Silence! A mouse shouldn’t make any noise unless asked!” He snapped, triggering the entire castle to shake with his voice before holding onto his head like a sharp headache was troubling him.

With each passing second, this demon’s eyes turned hazier yet vibrant red, but that wasn’t what sent chills down my spine. No, I was a stranger in that gaze as he reached for me. I could tell the sparkle was gone; what made him Finn was gone.

You… don’t know who I am?

I tried to materialize my thoughts as tears stung my eyes, turning my voice heavier than ever. Suddenly, Rizak appeared before him, dragging the demon king’s eyes away from me.

“M’lord—” the owl was cut in half before he could say anything to defend me.

“Silence,” Finn screamed, clenching his fist.

My eyes widened as blood splattered everywhere while the dismembered body fell to the side, yet even before I could see the attack, I was overwhelmed by an aura—the pressure exerted by the hate and rage he was feeling was too much for me.

“Rizak!” I screamed, reaching for the battered owl while forgetting one of his many lessons.

The demon king shifted his gaze back onto me, freezing me again where I stood. The last time I saw him, he almost had Soren, yet there was an open wound that bled onto the floor on his chest. It wasn’t the only one; he had another wound on his shoulder, and his hands were burned from when he destroyed the barrier.

My sister was inexperienced, but her magic could harm the demons I had come to care for.

“Sylvia, run! He doesn’t recognize you or anyone when he’s like this!” the owl warned, casting a spell that blazed an alarm before Finn crushed his skull under his foot.

Ah… right… Demons can’t kill each other!

Taking the chance Rizak had given me, I went to move; however, without sigils, a human movement was nothing to the beast before me. A split second later, Finn launched at me before I could even take a step away from him. I had considered using them before leaving the room, but it would have taken too much time—a mistake.

I was nothing without them, leaving me to face the claws of a demon who had lost himself. This was the first time I had seen what their curse consisted of, which was a side they hoped I would never see.

Oh… I’m—dead, aren’t I?

Once again, I was staring at death come for me, yet no memories of my past flowed through me. Back when I fell with Evelyn, they were also missing.

Ah… I have been through this. This happened again. I couldn’t do anything. I had the chance, yet I did nothing; I have nothing to show.

Closing my eyes, I braced for impact, gripping my sweater, drowning in the guilt of being useless. I hated this body and its self-preservative instincts.

Why do I grip on even though life is meaningless? Why do I brace, expecting something to save me? Why do I want to live anymore? No, I don’t deserve to after what I did. Hey, Finn… Will my death bring you Solace?

My eyes quickly flew open when the demon never reached me, only to see his claws only a few lengths away from my face, stuck by a wall of blood that separated us.

“So, you’re the saint. What a pity to meet like this.” Someone yanked me away from Finn from behind.

Dropping on the floor, the man with black hair and red eyes who was back at the castle gate stood before me. His flank stab wound was still bleeding, much like Finn’s wounds, but they barely bothered them.

Just how high is the pain tolerance of demons?!

“As hard as it is for you, focus on Finn rather than on the female, Vorex!” the other male from before was also there.

These two were beautiful beasts, much like the demon lord himself. Yet admiration wasn’t in my cards. No, Finn’s aura was erupting deeper and thicker with each passing second.

“Oh, Vabaru. What’s the point? He’s going to fuck us so hard no matter what we do, aren’t you, my beautiful, loving king?” the vampire sighed, focusing his eyes on the danger in the room.

It was lucky I was holding Solas, or he would’ve been left behind; even though he was more significant than a wolf, he was light to carry.

“Oh, shut up and get your ass ready for a whooping. It’s better us than the girl!” Vabaru smirked, summoning weird green energy from his hand.

From all my studies, this was one that I quickly identified.

Corruption magic, anything it touched would decay, including me.

However, Finn would heal anything done to him if it didn't have blessed enchantments. So, in this scenario, it was only a danger to me, prompting me to lean onto Solas and away from it.

“Shit, shit! I don’t like it when he gets like this! My wall won’t hold him much longer!” Vorex declared, wincing.

Even though others were in the room with me, Finn’s eyes set on me alone. I was the only one who was different from everyone else. Yet, I sat there, too stunned to do anything. My mind was lagging.

Ah… what was I even thinking? We can’t be friends. You and I live in different worlds, and I know nothing about yours! Yet, why do I…

The skin on my knees, arms, and hands was scrapped from being dragged and dropped by the vampire who protected me. They could be gentle with an enraged demon king staring down at them, but that wasn’t what had me shaken.

Why… won’t you…

Before that thought fully formed, he ripped the wall apart, shifting his eyes towards us.

“Well, when he suddenly disappeared from the battlefield, he still had his head, but having an intruder here, well, that’s probably the only reason he’s lost to the blood lust,” Vabaru announced, shifting his eyes towards me.

Ah… It’s my fault you’re like this? I didn’t… mean... This is just what I am. I ruin everything I touch! I shouldn’t have ever allowed myself to care! I’m no different from the humans you hate, yet I selfishly clung to you, hoping something would be different this time.

I’m sorry… I should’ve just… listened to you!

“Girl! I don’t know how you got in here, but you better survive for his sake!” The chimera huffed, rushing towards Finn before he could free himself.

A wicked chuckle left the demon lord’s lips, who quickly grabbed Varbaru by his neck before crushing it like a straw.

“Out of my way, worm.” The king dropped his limp body to the ground.

Not once did his crimson eyes ever shift from me.

“Uh, oops, he’s serious.” He voiced, even though his neck was the size of a straw.

Rizak was getting up from where he was, spilling his organs on the floor after healing his head. Even though he wasn’t fully healed, he sent a dark ball of energy towards Finn, who quickly consumed it with a single tail swipe.

“Oh… shit.” Vorex's voice trembled.

Although they didn’t die, they felt the pain from their injuries, and it appeared this vampire wasn’t a fan of pain. Yet he didn’t leave my side, reaching towards me when Finn snickered before another swipe of his hand ripped Rizak into pieces again.

Blood and feathers were everywhere on the floor, leaving behind a mangled owl; the king stepped towards us when the doors to the room flew open.

“No, no, no! M’lord, please get a grip! That isn’t an intruder, but Sylvia! You mustn’t harm her!” Nyla screamed from the entrance.

Next to her was Brielle, who was getting ready to attack Finn, too.

“I knew this girl is just trouble, no matter how you see it,” the wolf growled, stepping into the room.

Her eye was missing from the arrow she took to the face, yet she was ready to go again, reaching for her sword on her belt. Everyone’s words failed to reach their king, who was rabid and without an ounce of reason left in him.

“Hehe, come here, little mouse. I’ll make sure your death’s painfully fast.” Finn snarled as an explosion of feathers came from him, triggering a shift within him.

“Shit!” Vorex huffed, shifting his eyes towards me.

Vibrant colors of red gathered around him as the plumage gathered into him, along with the crimson fire that erupted from each of his extremities before swirling around him. It was breathtaking, locking my eyes towards the transforming beast.

Before I could witness the entire transformation, Vorex grabbed me by my sweater.

“What the fuck are you doing?! Go hide somewhere!” He snapped, eyes twitching while tugging me up to my feet.

Behind him, a flurry of different shades of red shimmered before concentrating at a center point within Finn’s metamorphosis, triggering every hair in my body to rise. Something was…

Oh… crap!

With little hesitation, I ran for cover as it wasn’t a second too late when a screech quickly came from the vampire, followed by an immense heat behind me. I didn’t stop to look at what happened before reaching one of the stone pillars to hide by.

Once safely hidden, I finally caught a glimpse of his true form. A magnificent, black-feathered dragon, the size of a school bus, with shimmering red tips in his wings and feathers, stood where I had run from. His horns were the same as in his humanoid form but more extensive, and the feathers that fanned his tail were also purely vibrant.

The plumage on his body appeared furry from afar, and his arms and legs didn’t hinder him as he swiftly moved around, appearing serpent-like. A soft hiss left his lips every time he couldn’t find me; luckily, he was on the other side of the room, distracted by Brielle.

The blue eyes I admired every time they gazed at me were still deep red, his aura lingering on every surface he touched. This room was vast, allowing Finn’s size not to hinder him as he searched for me. It was almost like the castle was made for large creatures to venture through.

I know nothing about you! How can I change that?!

His tail swiped towards the grey wolf, who caught his attention as her bones crunched upon impact. This triggered a startling whine from her before she slammed into the wall. I covered my ears, shielding myself from what was happening, wanting to curl into a ball.

No! No! This is all my fault! How can I stop this?! I don’t want anyone else to be hurt because of me! If anyone must be, it is me!

The big pillar hid me from Finn’s view, but he knew I was still around. My breath hitched as my eyes stung with the tears that wanted to burst out of me. The little goblin was still by the door, searching for me, hoping I’d run to her.

However, I was too far away for it to be viable, and my legs refused to listen to me, shaking right where I was. Unable to move, I heard the demon lord release the most startling shriek, prompting me to gaze toward him again and witness him breathing fire onto Rizak, who had a barrier up.

It cracked under the demon king’s blaze, locking my gaze on him again. Some might’ve called him a terrifying beast, but he was beautiful. How his feathers flickered and puffed reminded me of a bird dancing, although that tango was less dangerous than the one in front of me. Yet everything from the tone in his voice to his movements screamed agony.

The way he hid his pain behind his anger reminded me of when I bashed my stepfather’s head in. I was stuck in place with Solas as I gripped his fur, looking for comfort.

All that hurt… Will I… be like all the others who ignored me?

Clenching my hands into fists, I shook my head, hitching my breath before turning toward danger instead of where the goblin awaited me.

Will I…

The correct move was to run towards Nyla, but somehow, I faced the demon king’s back, who was concentrating on breaking Ryzak. If I ran out there, I would be putting Solas' life in danger, too, but I couldn’t help it—not when the thoughts that bombarded me occupied my entire being.

Can I be like all the others who ignore my pain?

All the people who stared every day and never stopped me once to see if I was okay.

No one cared enough. So how can I be like them?! No! I…

If only one person had reached their hand out to me, perhaps then my life would’ve been different. It would’ve only taken a single person to stop me from spiraling and going up to that ledge that night.

No! I want to be different! This pain must mean something! I won’t ignore you, Finn! I won’t!

Against better judgment, my legs listened to me for once as I ran toward the crazed dragon, hoping that all my experiences would allow me to reach out to his broken heart. Whether it was right or not, I wouldn’t ignore his pain, not when he was there when I needed him most.

“Girl! What are you doing?!” Vorex yelled as I passed by him.

The poor vampire was still healing from his burns to move, yet he wasn’t my focus.

It’s okay; you need to hold on, Finn. You were just lonely and misunderstood, weren’t you? It’s not like this world is any different from mine when it comes to shitty people. No one ever realized my pain. None of them asked me once if I was okay!

Only you…

Vabaru went for me the moment he could move, yet he met with Solas, who protected my path. He grew to be as large as a dire wolf in that instance. Sadly, I couldn’t appreciate it, launching myself at Finn’s back leg without wasting the chance given to me.

I’ll be what you are to me! If you let me! Even if…

Though I wasn’t dumb, with the way things were happening, I expected to be killed right away, but instead, it was like time halted the moment I touched him. Everyone froze in place, scared Finn would snap if they did anything.

My mind felt empty, and his feathers tingled on my skin. I had never expected to make it this far, but words formed on my tongue nonetheless.

Sometimes, it takes to walk in someone’s shoes to understand them! To reach our hand out to them! I see you, and I won’t let you be alone, Finn!

“If… If you want to eat me, then do it!” I snuggled myself into his leg.

A second later, I found myself pinned onto the floor with one tip of his claws going into my right shoulder. The other dug into the floor beside my head, locking my gaze on his. His weight on me caused my bones to feel like they would crack at any moment, knocking the wind right out of me.

It was hard to breathe because of the pressure he was placing on me, and it didn’t allow a single sound to leave me, preventing me from screaming in agony. All I could do was gasp for air, yet my lungs refused to fill with enough of it.

You’re smothering me! I can’t breathe!

“Little mouse, I finally found you!” Finn smirked, smashing his tail behind him.

A sharp whine remained from the blow, alerting me that it was probably Solas. Unable to move my right arm, I softly reached with my left toward what had become unfair.

“U-unf-fair… I… t-thou-ugh… you were… g-going… t-to… kill me f-fast.” I struggled to voice.

In his eyes, I was no longer the girl he wanted to marry nor the girl he spent his nights teaching.

“I lied for entering my hoard. I’ll first skin you alive, little mouse.” His eyes glowed brightly, leaning into me with his snout.

Smoke came out of his nostrils, yet all the fear from before washed away. Again, I was at peace, like when I fell that night with Evelyn. My life would end at any moment with a simple movement of his claw.

Ah… I just noticed I’ve been on borrowed time. I’ve been living on someone else’s life expectancy till now. You saved me the night I was supposed to die. It’s only fitting you end me too. It’s okay… I forgive you, Finn.

Blood pooled under me from his claw, which dug deeper into me. It wouldn’t take much for it to pop to the other side. Struggling to keep my eyes open, I gazed towards his chest to see his open wound there.

At least the adrenaline was helping with the pain, but that, too, would end soon.

“D-Does… it h-hurt?” I asked, touching the feathered limb that held me.

It was so soft, just like his wings. His eyes widened when a soft shine came from me, healing his wound instantly.

Oh… That’s good… It seems... my magic listens to me when it matters.

Tears rolled out of my eyes, noticing his aura was still so deep.

Can I even reach you? No, you hate what I am. Hell, you don’t even know it’s me, but it’s okay; I’ll forgive you if… I can see the real you once again. I don’t care if you hate me; I don’t care if we never talk again. Please, just do this one thing for me.

Instead of finishing me, he hesitated for the first time since this all began. If a pin fell, it would’ve echoed how quiet everything was.

“I-I…” a soft groan left my lips, feeling him gently retreating his claw.

His eyes struggled to change color again, shimmering from purple to red. My magic appeared to have allowed Finn a way back to us, but it wasn’t enough. His aura was getting stronger faster than it was fading, but I could breathe a little easier thanks to it.

“S-so-orry for… n-not li-isteni-ing to you. E-eat me, i-if i-it’ll… he-help you… co-ome… b-back.” I continued, struggling to keep my eyes open.

The agony dulled by the adrenaline was slowly coming back to me. Finn was still crushing me, but what scared me the most was never being able to see him again. I wanted to talk much more, listen to his story, and be there for him like he was for me.

Even if all of this was temporary, I wanted to help him.

You were the first person to hear me. I wish I could do the same for you. But it seems my time is running out…

“E-every—” I gasped, feeling like my ribs would crack when he shook his head.

“Shut up! You won’t trick me! I’ll never fall for a pretty face again, little mouse!” he snarled, digging his claw into me again.

I wanted to scream in pain, but all I did was bite my lip, causing it to bleed, too. In one instance, everyone around us was trapped by a gravity spell that crushed them to the ground, leaving us unaffected.

Blood dripped down my chin from the open wound on my lip, yet I…

“C-co-ome... b-ba-ack to me. P-ple-ease, I… want t-to see… one… last time.” I whispered, losing all sensation in my right limb with a loud snap.

“What did you say?!” he asked, voice cracking.

I didn't know if he had crushed it with his claw, but I couldn’t feel my arm. His eyes widened again when, instead of tearing his feathers with my left hand, I gently caressed them.

It’s… okay… I’m sorry for not listening to you.

My left hand was losing the strength to hold on as blood was drenching my hair.

The chaos within his heart was prevalent. Again, he retreated his claws from my body, allowing air to fill my lungs. However, the bleeding…

“C-c-come… b-bac-ck t-to… me. I-I’ll… a-accept y-you… t-the w-way… y-you are.” I simpered, trying to keep my eyes open.

Using my last bit of strength, I reached for his snout.

Pain that comes from you… is bittersweet. Ah… all those gentle kisses poisoned me. You tainted me, and I’m okay with it.

“Y-you’re… b-beautiful… I… s-see… y-you… F-Finn.” I whispered, failing to reach to touch him.

My hand fell limp on the floor before I could. Everything became blurry as muffled noises came from everywhere around me. However, the clearest one was…

“What? Sparky? Oh… fuck, what did I—” Finn’s voice soon faded too.

My eyes were too heavy to keep open, and for the first time, I wanted them to stay open, but soon, my consciousness wavered, too.

“Sylvia! Stay with me!” I thought I heard the king yell for me before I plunged into darkness.