The Shadows Within

Thanks to our passionate kiss that evening, Finn never came to see me that night. However, I missed his presence, which I had become accustomed to.

I’ve become too spoiled. The stupid demon is giving me stuff I never wanted! This is precisely why I didn’t want anything from anyone!

A soft sigh left my lips, tracing my lips, which still felt his warmth from before.

That kiss was rough, unlike the gentle ones I’m used to. You wanted to dominate me, didn’t you?

I didn’t do a single thing to stop him from doing so.

Your sheer strength and ability to hold back is ridiculous!

Heck, part of me wanted him to mess me up.

I mean, look at you! Who wouldn’t want a night with you?! Wait… When did I start wanting more?! No, no! Back up, Sylvia! Take a hold of your ovaries and think clearer!

I shook my head, flopping onto the book in front of me.

I’m insane?! Though… Why didn’t you take the opportunity?! A demon caring for a girl's chastity! Who has ever heard of that?! Why don’t you act more like what you are supposed to be?! I can’t hate you like this!

No, I could never hate him if this was the real him. However, that wouldn’t have changed; he was the one who had brought me into this world before the humans intercepted me. This monster saved me from a deadly leap and gave me everything I never had.

Friendly chatter, a purpose, and a companion… No… most importantly, you’ve given me a home.

I rolled on the bed, gazing towards Solas, who was always with me.

I never imagined I would ever have anything like this!

Before I knew it, Rizak, Nyla, Solas, and even Gael had become vital to me, too. The incubus felt more like an annoying brother than anything else. In comparison, Nyla felt like the mother I never had, while Rizak was a caring father who wanted me to be ready for anything.

Although they all wanted to use me for their needs, I couldn’t help but have fun when I spoke with them. Most importantly, they enjoyed my presence or at least pretended to. Even Gael, with his constant flirtations, was warming up to me.

In less than a month, they all crawled into my heart somehow.

I can’t help but feel this intense emotion growing within me.

The old couple made it easy not to get too attached as they treated me at arm’s length.

Even then, I still cared about them, but this is different.

These demons treated me like a normal human, unlike everyone else. Even though I missed Finn that night, I eventually fell asleep. Every day was full of things to do that I didn’t have time to think about anything else.

However, from time to time, I would get nightmares that melted away when Solas cuddled me.

Those days, I wonder if the pup eats more than just my mana.

The next morning, I readied myself for the day, only to be met by Finn phasing into my room, startling me enough to squeal. Luckily, I was fully dressed this time.

“Oh, you’re up. I thought you were asleep.” Finn chuckled, shifting my eyes to the bed to see Solas there.

He had another growth spur, making him as large as a wolf. Yet he still didn’t speak, which meant he was going to grow even more.

“You scared me! I didn’t expect you to poof in here, especially since you bailed last night!” I grumbled, envious of whatever took up his time.

He promised to teach me, but it was only when he was free. Even so, I couldn’t help that new emotion surging within me.

“Astred and Levaira wouldn’t leave me alone yesterday, and you already had your dose. Though today it means I get to kiss you earlier,” he informed me, leaving me dejected.

Of course, you were with them.

Again, my blood boiled at the thought, something that didn’t concern me yet…

You said you hadn’t touched them in years, but can I believe you? Ah… No! This has nothing to do with me! You can do as you wish!

“Well then, I wouldn’t want to keep a busy little king here for long. So do it and go on your merry way.” I pouted, sitting on the bed.

My periods had always been irregular, probably because of malnutrition, but thanks to Gael’s meals, I had gained some pounds. I missed last month, but I was already feeling the effects of this cycle, such as the occasional cramps, but these mood swings were probably a sign.

They have to be.

“Hm… is that jealousy I hear?” Finn picked up on the subtle tone in my voice.

“N-no!” I huffed, eyes twitching.

“Hm, okay.” He hummed, sitting next to me.

Closing his eyes, he let himself fall against my bed, leaving me gazing at him.

You really are too beautiful, even with the horns and all.

However, those feathers I saw around his body made me wonder what his authentic form was. Rizak told me all of them struggled to get their humanoid forms. Yet Finn and Brielle were the only two I saw who appeared more human than the rest.

The she-wolf was still as cold as ice towards me.

Pfft, it wouldn’t surprise me that she was sleeping with Finn, too!

I always tried to ignore her scorn-lover vibes; it wasn’t like she was any worse than my sister. A soft sigh left me as I approached the laying demon and climbed onto him.

In response, his eyes opened with a smirk on his lips. “What’s wrong? Do you want it already? I wanted to spend a little time with you.”

It left me vulnerable again. Yet those eyes of his were always so lifeless.

You don’t mean a single thing, do you?

“As I said, I don’t want to keep the little king away from his duties.” I huffed, reaching to touch his cheek.

Instinctively, he leaned into my palm.

“You won’t rescue me if I ask you?” he closed his eyes again.

Unable to help myself, I leaned on him, snuggling my face into his chest.

Ah, this demon isn’t playing fair. You don’t feel a thing yet, but you’re setting an unending storm within me! When did this become a safe space for me?

The bracelet Nyla placed on me the first night I arrived had yet to change. Rizak had said we both openly had to love one another, something Finn always said wasn’t possible.

Love doesn’t exist. His words echoed in my mind.

If it doesn’t exist, then what’s this feeling? Am I confusing it with something else? Arg… Fuck it.

I had never felt it before, at least not to this extent and not toward so many others.

The owl said openly, which is probably the keyword. But I don’t know if this is love. Isn’t it supposed to be more intense? Can I even feel that?

Admitting any shape of the emotion would’ve meant I lost, and I wasn’t about to lose to him or anyone else again. Even with all those things that made my day brighter, he wouldn’t know until I was ready.

“No.” I huffed, grumbling under my breath.

It triggered Finn to chuckle, clasping me by my waist.

“So cold.” He sighed, prompting me to lift off him slightly.

“Says a demon.” I huffed, rolling my eyes at him.

A soft shrug came from him, “Eh, I could be worse. I think I’ve been patient with you.” He confessed, gazing at me with the same eyes as always.

Caging him under me, I felt his tail wrapping around one of my legs.

“At this point, I doubt you’re this evil thing. I bet you’re like the plushiest demon there is.” I simpered, feeling those pesky butterflies in my stomach.

This demon was far from a stuffed doll. His horns were so deep red at times that they reminded me of blood and were sharp enough to pierce the skin, yet I didn’t have a bruise from all my interactions with him.

“Plushiest?” he tilted his head.

How can a demon be this cute?! This shouldn’t be allowed! It’s illegal!

His cheeks were rosy, though.

Arg! Demon, act like one! Stop trying to win this heart!

“One of those stuffed animals and dolls,” I mumbled, feeling jittery in his gaze.

Cupping one of my cheeks in his palm, “Oh, so now you want to stuff me? Should I be worried?” he chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

Don’t surrender!

“Maybe,” I mumbled, dropping onto his chest again.

My strength to fight only made my emotions grow more vigorous. Another soft cackle left him, leaving me hearing his heartbeat. It was always pleasant to the ears, reminding me that even though he was immortal, he still had one.

You aren’t so different from me.

“You really enjoy hugging me.” He whispered, holding me back.

I nodded, liking the warmth he offered me.

“You’re cuddly, and you always look like you need one. So be grateful I’m willing to give them to you.” I mumbled into his chest.

With each kiss, I’m growing more attached to you. I won’t be able to live without you one day. Arg… That can’t come. I don’t want… any more heartaches.

“By the gods, you aren’t normal. If you only knew how many I’ve killed.” Finn sighed.

You once said it was hard for you to be friendly to a human.

Yet your nature is one of a gentleman; every demon I’ve met in the castle loves or admires you. Aside from the generals, you aren’t ruthless to those you care about.

“Then tell me.” I declared, not releasing my hold on him.

He went stiff for a moment, releasing a sigh. “Uh, I stepped into that one, didn’t I?”

I wasn’t about to let him slip away this time.

“I’m listening.” I hummed, enjoying the feeling of his chest rising and falling.

His voice pleased the ears, and I didn’t mind if he lectured me for hours about the history that made them into demons.

So, this is a victory.

Everyone always dodged the past, saying to hear it from the king.

“Well, uh… I’ve killed people for making me angry.” He tried to go around the question.

I already knew he had anger issues, which made me wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t kissed him in the bathroom.

“Mhm, what else? And who?” I pressed on.

“Oi, you’re getting specific.” He growled, squishing me a bit.

It caused me to giggle, lifting myself off him.

“Well, you’re being vague and learning from the best, remember?” I smiled.

His cheeks went rosy again.

“Who, Rizak or me?” he asked, raising his brows.

A soft hum came from me, “Rizak,” I declared.

His smile didn’t vanish with my answer; instead, he cupped my cheek in his palm.

You won’t let me in that easy. No, your pain runs way more profound than mine ever did.

From Rizak, I learned they had been alive for thousands of years.

First as humans, then as rabid beasts before becoming what they are today.

It had only been a thousand years since they had regained their humanity. Every time I asked, Finn avoided it; however, I would allow myself to be shifted off.

If you aren’t ready, I won’t push you.

“Ouch, you wound me, sparks.” He pretended to be hurt.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m learning to be seductive from you. That’s all you’re teaching me.”

His eyes suddenly twitched as his smile was finally gone.

Looking like a flustered mess suits you so much, Finny.

That was a nickname I still didn’t have the guts to use.

“What?! You mean from Gael. I’m not an incubus nor a succubus to be teaching you the ways of seduction.” The demon lord huffed, growling soon after.

A soft red aura erupted from him because of it.

I do push your buttons, but nothing like your generals.

I shook my head, giggling. “You’re the only one I do perverted things with, but I don’t know what you are. So, I thought you might be one of those.”

A sharp smile rose on his lips. “I’m a dragon, sweets. Rizak didn’t tell you?”

I shook my head, gazing at him in a new light.

Dragon?! Well… You have horns, wings, claws, fangs, and a tail… How did I not see it before?! But aren’t they supposed to be scaly?

“A feathered one?” I mumbled, tilting my head.

He looked nothing like a dragon other than the tip of his wings and horns on his head.

“Is there any other kind?” he asked, trailing his fingers on my face.

Will you still treat me like this after you get what you want? You might be a demon if you don't, but I won’t know until it’s too late.

“Well, in my world, they depict them as a scaly beast,” I mumbled, feeling small at his touch.

“There are different dragons in Fathal. Perhaps that’s why, but I’m the only one with a human form. The others can’t talk or even rationalize like you.” He informed.

Grabbing onto his hand, I leaned into his touch.

“I think I only saw scaly ones in my world. Hey, do you breathe fire?” I asked, wanting to know more about this king.

Sitting up slightly, he leaned into me; our lips hovered closely.

“I can do more than breathe fire, sweets.” He whispered, coiling his tail around my legs.

“Like?” I mumbled, feeling a little jittery because of his touch.

“I can suck the life out of you just by looking at you.” He murmured, eyes shimmering.

I couldn’t help but push him down because of it.

“Liar.” I huffed, feeling like there was a world behind his words.

One I knew nothing about; all the while, everyone around me knew him and the horrors he hid.

Unfair! Yet…

“Oi, I don't lie, Sparky.” He huffed.

A soft, red aura radiated from him, again triggering me to smile.

“I know.” I leaned in to kiss him.

Though all I did was brush his lips, a second later, he drew me into a more feverous kiss, filling me with warmth I never knew I could have.

Ah… this demon is already winning.

Feeling him play with my tongue caused me to melt, letting him into my mouth and roam freely before I found myself against the bed. His tail lifted my shirt, allowing his hand briefly to brush against my navel.

It left me jittery as a slight whine left my lips. His fingers slowly traced up my abdomen and towards my chest, only to stop when a knock erupted from the heavy wooden door. Tugging away from my lips, a sliver of saliva connected us, and his eyes focused on where the noise had come from.

Enchanted by this demon, I would soon see the nature he warned me about. If only…