NOVEL WEB Chapter 6
Chapter 6: Healthy Man in the Morning
It was the first day after joining the Gongdong Sect.
I woke up around 5 a.m., when the dawn was barely breaking.
Thud!
Raising my head, there it was—an Everest-sized mountain rising in my blanket.
Yes, the symbol of a healthy man: morning wood had come to visit me.
Sniffle.
I wiped away the tears that had begun to flow.
No more waking up with an empty feeling downstairs every morning.
The past 50 years of my eunuch life flashed before my eyes. Farewell, miserable life of a eunuch.
I left my proud member standing proudly as it was.
There was no need to hastily calm it down with the national anthem right now.
I knew that the longer my pride stood, the stronger the endurance would become.
Feeling the weight of my erect pride, I got up, tidied my bedding, and got dressed.
A new life begins today.
The real life of a healthy man who wakes up with morning wood.
Huff.
I barely resisted the urge to smile as I opened the door.
Though the Gongdong Sect had only three members, since I was the lowest rank here, all the chores like cleaning, laundry, and meal prep fell to me, the youngest.
This central martial world doesn’t mess about with advanced facilities or stress-relievers like in the modern era.
I got up and, with a practiced hand, quickly cleaned the royal chamber before heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
Of course, my pride was still standing tall and heavy.
The kitchen was full of firewood, supplies, and bags filled with ingredients.
When I opened a bag, I found old rice and wild greens presumably gathered from the mountains.
Wow, I expected it, but we’re dirt poor!
A proper noble sect would have a treasury overflowing with delicacies from land and sea.
But true to the ruined sect’s name, all we had were greens.
To build muscle, one must eat meat, right?
Even the revered Wudang masters eat meat to build their physiques during meals!
Mainly, those Shaolin monks who build muscle while only eating vegetables are the rare ones.
But training martial arts with just greens?
Am I a monk?
I shook my head and, using a fire tong, lit a fire in the stove before heading to the nearby stream with a sack of rice and a wooden basin to wash the rice.
Splash, Splash, Splash.
As I washed the rice with flashy hand movements, I sighed.
What’s this nonsense first thing in the morning?
I had endured all sorts of absurdities and hardships in this backward pre-modern China, so dealing with chores was nothing new.
After all, menial work was always the eunuch’s lot.
Sure, the palace maidens helped with chores too, but labor always needed men.
But normal men were out of the question.
Every woman of the palace was the emperor’s possession, after all.
Therefore, the purpose of using eunuchs was so that the palace maids and concubines couldn’t suffer any undue advances from those who were castrated.
Being castrated means you can’t indiscriminately pursue the emperor’s women.
Just because you’re castrated doesn’t mean you lose your libido. But since eunuchs have no pride, there’s no way for them to fulfill their desires.
The horror of having no outlet for your burning desires!
The wretchedness of being unable to comfort oneself!
Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to chop off a straight guy’s pride and make him a laborer? Truly, the stupidity of ancient China!
Remembering my pitiful life in my previous life—dispossessed of the right to comfort my own desires—I felt a chill run through me.
I secretly placed my hand inside my pants.
Fortunately, my pride was safely still in its place.
Drip!
The fact that my pride was intact was obvious, but yet again, I felt hot tears rolling down my face, realizing it.
Thanks to the Jerk Exercise I performed yesterday, the modern medical marvel that is the non-surgical penile enlargement technique, my pride felt a little bigger and thicker.
Originally, I was above average, but you know what they say, the bigger the better!
From now on, I promised myself to keep doing the Jerk Exercise before bed.
Anyway, I was an eunuch steeped in the camaraderie of my peers.
The Dongchang is basically the Emperor’s espionage organization.
As a low-level agent dealing with fieldwork, I had to do surveillance, dispatching for missions, and when out on duty, I couldn’t just sleep in inns every time; I had to camp outside, which meant cooking was a must!
So, making breakfast was no big deal for me, a seasoned camper.
But being part of the Gongdong Sect, I really needed to impress the headmaster Jeonyeong and that irritating senior of mine.
To become a hero in the martial world and earn my martial name, and to eventually gather all seven beauties and seize the Samcheosacheop, I needed to gain their favor step by step.
Only then could I be recognized as a proud member of the Gongdong Sect, which my senior will restore, and I could show off as a disciple of the Gongdong Sect to catch the eyes of beauties in the world.
This all started with a warm bowl of breakfast.
Nobody dislikes a meal made by someone else.
Surely, that applies to my senior and the headmaster too.
So, I washed the rice diligently in the early morning, fetched water in a bucket, and headed back to the kitchen.
Huff, Huff.
Also, I didn’t forget the Breath Regulation Method and Kegel Exercises.
With each Kegel Exercise, my pelvic floor was stimulated, and my pride felt more erect.
Indeed, the modern medical wisely created Kegel exercises. My admiration for the master of gynecology, Arnold Kegel, suddenly deepened.
The distance from the kitchen to the stream was neither long nor short.
But I was still a young boy who hadn’t even learned proper inner strength techniques.
Holding heavy water and rice made my legs wobble and sweat.
But for the sake of the Samcheosacheop, for the sake of Cloud and Rain Pleasure, I couldn’t just collapse here.
As I was sweating buckets and awkwardly making my way into the kitchen…
“Sa, Saje?!”
A familiar voice rang in my ears.
My senior, Yujinhwi.
He was standing in the kitchen, wearing tattered, worn clothes, with wide, surprised eyes.
Even in the dark, soot-covered kitchen, his beauty shone through the rags like purest light.
The face of my senior, Yujinhwi, looked as if the heavens themselves had chiseled it; it gleamed with Transcendental Purity in Mired Place, even in this dreadful environment.
His long eyelashes and eyes glistening with dew were charming.
Who would believe that those shabby, tattered clothes would ooze vintage style thanks to that unrealistically handsome face?
If I wore such clothes, I’d probably be mistaken for a beggar!
Actually, I had been treated like a beggar for quite some time on this journey through Gansu Province.
What was it? If Dong-gun, Gang Dong-won, or Cha Eun-woo wore a blue jacket and jeans, they’d be called fashion icons!
Well, at least those modern actors put some effort into their looks, using makeup, lotion, shampoo, and skin care.
And yet, he looked like that without any of it.
Is fashion really all about the face?
The longer I stared, feelings of envy began to well up inside me.
Wait, hold on a minute?
My pride is still standing tall, and now he’s here?!
I quickly turned to hide my lower region from my senior.
I mean, showing my pride to a guy?
Impossible!
If he takes it the wrong way…
I shuddered at the thought.
Fortunately, it seemed my senior hadn’t seen my lower region yet.
I hummed the national anthem in my mind.
“Until the East Sea’s waters dry and Mt. Baekdu wears away, may Heaven protect…”
Gracias, my pride gradually began to settle down, responding to the anthem.
Right at that moment when my pants were almost completely flat again…
“I’ve been looking for you since this morning, but I couldn’t find you anywhere. I was worried.”
Yujinhwi approached me with a clear, pure smile that held no ulterior motives and grabbed my hand.
His warm touch enveloped my hand.
First, it was a shoulder hug yesterday, now it’s holding hands?
A chill ran down my back.
Cold sweat trickled down my spine.
A strange sensation washed over me.
Thank goodness my pride had calmed down. If it hadn’t…
Oh, the horror.
I quickly pulled my hand away from his grasp.
“Well, now that I’ve officially entered the main sect, I thought it proper for the youngest to handle the odd jobs, so I got up first to prepare breakfast for the master and my senior. I apologize for worrying you.”
I bowed lightly to him while maintaining a polite voice, keeping a safe distance.
I shouldn’t get too close to him but also not too far.
If I were to put it in modern terms, we were business partners.
Yes, that kind of relationship was just right.
That way, later on, I could woo ladies by claiming I was the disciple of the legendary sword master!
“Hey, I’m the disciple of the world’s number-one sword master! I go to the sauna with him! We eat together! We bathe together! Everything!”
That was the plan.
Without making my behind too vulnerable, I needed to get closer to Yujinhwi.
It would be difficult for an ordinary person, but I was Lee Cheol-soo, who had experienced all sorts of trials and tribulations in the royal palace. I had mastered political intrigue.
Deceit and betrayal were my specialty!
I expertly concealed my true feelings and made polite small talk.
“No, no! I’m the one who should apologize! You know, there’s something mature about you for someone your age, doesn’t there?”
Yujinhwi smiled as if he was proud of me.
When he smiled, it felt like a thousand flowers bloomed, illuminating the dark kitchen in an instant.
Damn, he was incredibly handsome!
How was it that this guy’s smile could outshine even the legendary beauty of the Sado Family who was known as a country’s treasure?
What?
“Am I really losing my marbles?”
I was having such crazy thoughts while looking at a guy.
I am not gay!
I pulled myself together with Kegel Exercises and continued playing the role of a polite disciple.
“My humble self lost my parents and roamed the world, having faced all kinds of hardships with this little body. Perhaps that’s why I’m the way I am. I apologize for causing you discomfort, senior.”
I pretended to be a pitiful orphan and subtly wiped away a few tears.
Here, it’s important to cry slightly, not too much.
If I cried too much, it would raise suspicion or even make him dislike me.
It was survival instinct honed in the inner palace.
No matter how great the legendary sword master would become in the future, right now, I was just a little kid.
Even the emperor wouldn’t see through my deception.
“Ah, no! Don’t misunderstand! I didn’t mean it like that! What I meant was…”
Yujinhwi flustered, waving his hands around.
He scratched his head and began to turn beet red.
“I meant your maturity in that… o-of course in a good way!”
What was with the sudden blush and stuttering?
Did he catch a glimpse of my pride earlier? No, that couldn’t be; I hadn’t felt his gaze drift down.
If my senior were a girl, I would welcome the green light, but unfortunately, he’s a guy.
A guy blushing and stuttering only added to my discomfort.
To make matters worse, my pride should’ve naturally calmed down, but because of his ambush, I had to force it down with the national anthem!
What should I do about the power I lost?
Anger surged within me.
But like a seasoned politician, I showed no trace of my displeasure or fury.
“And I’m just a homeless orphan, a beggar… If the master hadn’t rescued me, who knows what might have happened? Anyway, you and I have similar circumstances, so I feel a kinship with you, senior…”
“I see. I understand. It means a lot to me that you think of me that way, and there’s no need for you to apologize for such trivial things anymore. We are like brothers now.”
“Uh, yeah!”
His eyes widened slightly at the term “like brothers,” and he nodded continuously.
Is the notion of brotherhood that appealing?
After all, in my previous life, the sword master had many sister disciples, but never a brother disciple.
Moreover, not just any brother disciple—the future beauty known as Baekdojeilhwa was to be his sister disciple.
Baekdojeilhwa.
That was another reason I had joined this failing Gongdong Sect instead of any other.
Anyway, even though I was a disciple at a young age, I had now found a same-age male friend.
From that perspective, it made sense to feel good about it.
I mean, I liked hanging out with friends at a playground when I was a kid too!
But still, my behind is off-limits!
I silently reaffirmed that in my mind, just as I was about to put the washed rice and water into the pot.
“Umm, Saje.”
My senior’s voice came from behind me.
Suddenly, a chill ran down my spine.
What now?
Please don’t tell me he really saw something earlier?