The School Idol’s Obsession

It is lunch break, and today I asked Miya-san to eat with me. I refrained from eating with Itsuki-kun today as I wanted to know Miya-san better. Miya-san was one of the people Itsuki-kun is friends with, that is a female. I wanted to know them and I’m just a bit wary because you can never know what might happen. 

“So...you already know how I met Itsuki. Would you mind telling me how you guys managed to go out together?” Miya-san suddenly asks, questioning me on how I ended up going out with Itsuki-kun.

“Well I asked him out (forcefully though)” I replied.

“....eh? You? You asked him out?” Miya-san said, dumbfounded.

“Well yeah, although he always avoided me at first but I did my best and asked him out.” I said, giving a confirmation.

“...I thought Itsuki was the one who asked you out...I never expected that it was the other way around...So why? Why did you choose to be with him specifically?” Miya-san continued, agitated from my answer to her question.

“...That’s a secret.” I said looking away, not wanting to answer the question she gave out. 

“Hey! That’s not fair, please tell me.” Miya-san yelled out, begging to know the reason about me asking Itsuki-kun out.

I’ll never tell anyone ever though…

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Three Years Ago {Second Year of Middle School}

“You’re really getting full of yourself.” 

“This again….I’m tired of this…” I was suddenly taken at the back of the school by these 5 girls. Ganging up on me by this very second. 

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, trying to come to a reason why they would even do this to me at this moment.

“You’re seriously asking that? Hah! You’re actually stupid aren’t you? Every damn day you would act as if you’re better than everyone. Then go acting as if you’re some saint or something.” The girl who seemed to be the leader said, harshly and rudely, telling me some things I’ve been hearing from the same people like them. 

“Don’t get so full of yourself, you bitch.” Another girl from the group said while pushing me against the wall.

“...I-” As I was about to say something, someone other than me and the group of girls interrupted.

“OVER HERE, SENSEI!!! They are ganging up on a single girl here!!!” Someone shouted from the other corner of this backyard. Successfully agitating the group of girls who were surrounding me.

“Tsk!...Let’s get out of here.” The girl leader said to her goonies, running from the opposite side to get away quickly.

“W-Wait for us, Asami-chan!!” The other girls said as they followed the girl leader whose name seems to be Asami. 

“H-Hey, a-are you okay?” A guy said, coming out from the corner as he walked up to me.

“I’m fine, nothing to worry about.” I replied to him as I smiled a little, reassuring that I was fine.

“I-Is that so? Then I should get going then….” He said walking away but stopped as he looked at me again continuing, “...You should report them. Getting in trouble with people like them would be troublesome, right?” He then run away, saying those last words

“Ah, wait!” I shouted out, trying to stop him for a while but it was in vain as he had already gotten away from the corner of the building.

“I couldn’t even say my thanks to him...and his name.” I said to myself, completely helpless as I couldn’t get him to stop for a moment.

◆◇◆

I only found out later that his name seems to be Sano Itsuki. The more I look into him, he looks rather dull and plain. He was to say, the average guy you would see everywhere in this school. He had no redeeming qualities, except for his awkward but friendly attitude to others. I could see he had friends that he hangs out with, so I knew that he wasn’t a loner by all means.

“Hello!” I said to him energetically, as I approached him the other day.

“Uhh, H-Hello…” He replied awkwardly, not looking my way. 

As it got somehow tense, he started walking away. Normally when I greet people, they would start talking endlessly even though I was just being polite to them. This boy though, Sano Itsuki....he just replied back awkwardly and started walking away. He is somehow different from the people I usually associate with. 

Normally it would end with just simple greetings, but somehow whenever I get across with him. I would have the urge of wanting to talk more to him.

I greet him and he greets back, but...that’s just it. It never accounted to anything more than just greeting him. It’s always him walking away or just him always going away when he sees me, as if trying to avoid me. I had the thought that maybe he doesn’t like me, but that was proven wrong. The more I watched him, the more I understood. He doesn’t dislike me or anything, he avoids me because he doesn't want to be in trouble for anything. It kind of hurts me that he was thinking of me as someone troublesome, but I won’t care about that. 

He was the first person to be considerate to me. He saved me when I was in trouble and was one of the people to care if I was okay. I realized there, I was drawn to him, I wanted to befriend him.

◆◇◆

“What kind of score is this? *sigh* What a disappointment, seriously now.” My own mother said, as she breathed the words out as if it was the most common thing to do.

This always happens, my mother would always find a way to criticize me for everything I do. Our familial relationship is strained, we would often get into fights as my mother would try and get me to be the bad one.

The same could be said to my little sister. She was raised spoiled by mother, and would often try to get me in trouble.

The only family I could rely on are my father and his sister, my aunt.

However, that all changed when my father died because of an accident. He got hit and run by a very reckless drunk driver. I grieved, my father’s death was the most unforgettable thing that ever happened in my life. It was a sudden death, I couldn’t do anything nor try anything about it. 

My mother however, was different. She didn’t look sad nor did she care about dad’s death. The look in her eyes had no emotion as she looked at the altar where the jar of ashes of dad was. 

The only thing I remember next was my aunt screaming at my mother in our house. She was shedding tears as yells out to my mother. That was then that I realized that my own mom didn’t really love my dad, she was only after his money. 

“He died, so what?” Her words were cold and didn’t have the feeling of someone who has regrets. She heartlessly said those words directly in the face of my aunt.

Her words, the moment she said those words were the first time I snapped so hard against her. That was the moment I no longer saw her as my own mother. That was the moment I first violently attacked someone with the intent of wanting to kill them.

In my rage, I pushed down my mother and started to beat her with no remorse.

“YOU’RE A DEMON!!! You only ever cared about yourself and your selfishness!!!”

“Yeah! That’s right, I’m a demon. I only care about what I would need but so what? Not like anyone would bother with just some guy’s death. I only need to care for my well being, there’s nothing you can do about something you can’t decide as everyone dies anyway.” Her words are as cold as it goes. She hardly ever cared about anyone but herself.

That was the start that I never talked to her nor my sister ever again.

I left with my aunt, the only family that I ever considered one. I lived with my aunt until the time came for her transfer in the company she works for. The time I had with my aunt coped up the time I lost my dad. I was able to move forward and let go of my dad’s death with the help of my aunt.

Though it was sad that I am to be alone again again as my aunt has to go abroad for her transfer. I was left alone in the apartment, needing to get by on my own. The cost of the apartment was covered by my aunt and I get an allowance every once a month. It wasn’t much but I was able to get by alone.

◆◇◆

My school life never changed, except for the fact almost every guy from my grade are trying to get close to me using my dad’s death as an excuse. It was suffocating trying to deal with them. I hated the fact that almost all of them had no consideration for my feelings on the matter at all.

All that except Sano Itsuki, I still didn’t give up the fact that I wanted to befriend him. Somehow whenever I look at Sano-kun, I had the feeling that his personality had a similarity to my late dad. It was that he was kind and considerate. Sano was one of the people who gave their condolences to me when they found out that I had lost my dad. Unlike the other guys from my grade, I felt that he really had no ulterior motives. All he did was give his condolences and left without saying anything further.

I wanted to think that was the start of the time I will be able to talk more and be friendly with Sano-kun, but I was proven wrong.

He was still avoiding me. The time he talked to me was just him being kind and considerate. He never wanted to talk more than needed. I really wish that he would talk to me more and stop avoiding me. 

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It was one of those days that one wish would come true, although he does avoid looking at me. I was paired to work on a project with him. 

It was honestly the most fun I had working with a project. The time I spent talking with Sano-kun was very fulfilling. It was then that I wished time could stop and that I would have more time to talk with him. He very much reminded me of my dad but I have to be realistic. My dad is dead, and Sano-kun is different. I loved my dad dearly, and I already lost him. His kindness and consideration for me was long gone, even if Sano-kun is very similar to him, it is not always the same.

....But what is this thing that I am always feeling. It always feels so warm yet so comforting.

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That was the time I regret realizing my feelings too late.

Sano-kun was gone, I only heard from the teacher at the time that moved away.

The feelings I had when I was with Sano-kun were replaced with a cold piercing feeling. I felt the same pain when I had lost my dad, I felt sadness. 

That was the moment I came to terms with that feeling, I was already in love with Sano-kun. I cried alone, wondering why I couldn’t realize my feelings sooner. I cried a whole knowing that I might never see the boy I fell in love with.

I felt so sad and alone. I couldn’t take it, I felt agony without Sano-kun on my side.

I couldn’t be happy and I just stayed with sadness all throughout middle school.

...I wondered if high school wasn’t even going to be any different.

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The time came, I graduated middle school and I was preparing for the entrance exams of the high school I’m applying to.

The surprise was a shock to me as to who I just saw at the gates of the school.

Right there I am facing him, I rubbed my eyes to make sure...was it really him? My eyes didn’t deceive me. The boy I love is currently there standing in front of me.

...I...I wanted to run to him…wanted to hug him close to me right then and there...

...but I refrained from doing so…

It was not the time. At that moment I promised to myself, I must pass the entrance exam and when the time is right I would meet him again properly as my classmate again. I would do everything I can to make him mine.

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Back to Present

“Come on, Aimi-san. Please tell me, I really wanna know.” Miya-san said completely intrigued and curious to know the reason I am going out with Itsuki-kun.

“Like I said it’s a secret, I won’t tell anyone well except for my Itsuki-kun. If he really asked me, I would tell him every detail of it fufufu.” I said laughing it off much to Miya-san’s dismay.