The Roots of the Dragon Teeth Thieving Fairy! (Comdic Fairy Tale BL)

I followed a fuming Tony, who had the two gnomes perched on his shoulders. Everyone knew that the goblins were going to get away with it.

We were going to move on, they were going to get their food back. Even if it went rotten.

Because they were goblins. Nothing could stop them. Not a darn thing.

I clenched my fists.

 Nothing?

What about me, in my fancy armor and academy training? What about Tony, who was marching, instead of walking?

We were not going to move on, I decided! But the thing about me deciding was that I needed to get it by Tony first.

And Tony looked like an Anthony now, not like a Tony Macaroni. If that makes sense.

Still…

"Anthony?" It was the second time I had ever called him that, or so I believed. There had been a time before the dragon scorched my family's farm that I had called him Anthony many a time.

 But dying in the flames trying to save your card collection does stuff to people.

Well… I guess I called out to mom and dad as well, but that rush during the fire was anything but orderly. So, I can't really be sure.

"It's Tony for you!" He snapped, but I knew that it wasn't because of me. It was because of the goblins, I was sure, which even now were trying to sell us stuff.

As Bob was shaking his head in disbelief and Amy, kind but troubled Amy, was staring at the wares on offer with huge eyes.

I liked that gnome girl. That girl who thought that hard work was going to save the day.

There were so few left of her kind.

But…

I thought then that, maybe, I could buy her something. I still had one gold coin. There were fabrics on offer.

I looked at Anthony, who was still marching ever forward. Not seemingly wanting to slow down.

"How much for that linen over there?" I figured that one gold coin could still buy something the poor woman could make a dress out of.

 And a shirt for Bob wouldn't go amiss.

"No!" Anthony roared, as he placed the two gnomes down on the ground. "We fight for the entire fabric stand!"

Now, I knew that he was pissed off. But the goblin behind the stand looked twice his size, and a head taller than me.

He was thrice Anthony's build, and about four times my own.

I already knew who was going to win. And yet…

"Master Goblin," I didn't want to be butchered by the entire tribe, thank you very much, "We would like to fight you, as in, in an honor duel! Pick one of us, and we would love to enter the arena!"

Now, that was something not even Tony, who looked about ready to blow up in my face, could say no to. But…

"Here and now, thieving scum!" Tony roared, turning into a cute bunny.

I stepped before him!

He was a shifter! A bunny shifter! He was going to end up cooking over a low fire, and my wings were going to be the side dish!

"You call me thieving scum?" But goblins were nothing if not masters at calling someone out on their own bullshit. "You paid for the armors on your lover with stolen dragon teeth!"

That was true. And Tony knew it as well, because he turned back into a human and bowed his head.

"Now," the goblin continued, as he picked up the linen cloth I had been eyeing. "One coin pouch of fairy dust and its yours!"

I took a step back. One coin pouch? Those were huge! And…

But Amy looked at me as if the stars were in my wings. She was clutching at her dress. Bob was shaking his head.

He had his pride. Besides, unlike her, he probably knew how that dust was going to be extracted.

"Ok," I didn't care that it was going to hurt getting it scrapped off my wings. Or that the goblins were going to mangle them to the point I wouldn't even manage to flutter with them.

Amy was looking at me with naked joy in her kind eyes.

She was there. I was there.

A goblin with a jagged knife came before me.

I stood my ground.

Those were just wings, I told myself. Those were just wings, and I was not going to be doing much with them anyway, seeing as they were about as useful as weeds.

Maybe it would be easier if I stopped thinking about them as wings, but as weeds? Who needed weeds growing from their back?

Not me!

"Take both wings off! I want the entire stand!" I was going to be walking around looking like a necromancer if my wings got chewed up.

The police were going to lock me up in debtor's jail anyway. Necromancers were not well received there.

"Mike," Tony offered me his hand. The first two buttons of his tunic were unbuttoned. "If you really want to produce that much fairy dust, then…"

"Give me the knife!" I yelled, horror in my voice. "I'll do it myself!"

"Oh, now that's sad," the goblin with the knife was looking at Tony so, as if he had pitied him. "My dear boy, your lover would have liked to be mutilated rather than to sleep with you."

Mike bowed his head.

"There are three ways to get some fairy dust," the goblin continued, as he placed the very jagged knife back in its scabbard. "One is to cut it out of him."

He patted my wings, then he patted my butt!

"Another is to fuck it out of him."

I jumped as if burned! The fuck!

"And the third is to work it out of him! Someone give the fairy a broom! He is going to be sweeping the entire Black Market! These gnomes are never to be stolen from again! And… just give them enough linen, cotton and wool for the damage you have caused by stealing from them."

I blinked. Who did this goblin think he was, to order the rest around?

"Who are you?" I whispered.

"The chief," the broom got passed to him, then to me. "Sweep."

And I did.

Because the other two alternatives made me sick to my stomach.