The Reincarnated Villain Can Break the Fourth Wall!

"PIIIIIII!!"

The chain yanked.

The little bastard screamed and bucked, flames bursting from its hooves like explosive diarrhea made of sunfire.

Sykarra's arms nearly dislocated.

Her bare feets dug into the rock. Her chain glowed white-hot, vibrating with sacred backlash.

She grunted, hair stuck to her face, breasts bouncing with the effort of trying to drag what was basically a flaming tantrum incarnate up a death mountain by the neck.

This was supposed to be a quick snatch-and-sacrifice. One young Qilin, blood drained, tossed into a demonic altar to boost Czaar's strength to god-molesting levels.

But no.

This little fucker had a spine.

"Ugh..." Sykarra growled, biting down so hard her lip bled a thin red line. The chain held, but her patience didn't.

"Little bastard's fighting back harder than expected…"

"Sykarra."

Vaelzaar's voice came from behind, clipped and cool.

Sykarra didn't look back.

"I know, Spies!" she barked. "I feel it too."

The distant ridge across the crater, the one with all the ominous bushes and conveniently dramatic lighting, was no longer empty.

Three silhouettes.

Staring.

Watching.

Perverts? Spies? Dumb heroes? Who knew. But they were uninvited, unwelcome, and statistically screwed.

"I can't deal with them now!" Sykarra hissed. "This flaming goat's one hoof away from yanking my hands into the lava!"

Vaelzaar sighed through her nose.

Then clicked her tongue.

Behind her stood a giant. Seven feet of rocky doom, and that was just his left pectoral. His arms were mountains. His skin was stone. His chest looked like a tectonic plate ready to slap a continent in half.

But his head?

Still a child's.

Round, and adorable, eyes like lost marbles.

"Mountain Head."

The name dropped like a cock on a jade dining table.

"Go check on the pests," Vaelzaar ordered.

Behind her, the other Marshals chuckled, evil, and bone-horny.

"Kekeke..."

It was always funny.

This towering monster, who once dropkicked a sky serpent into retirement, still looked like a five-year-old about to ask for more soup.

Mountain Head nodded solemnly, voice soft as virgin snow. "Yes, Lady Vaelzaar."

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Each step was a seismic event. A baby-faced apocalypse, waddling into war.

Vaelzaar didn't smile, but her spear, across her back like a spanked husband, twitched with bloodlust.

"If they resist," she said, eyes glowing, "kill them slowly. I want their screams to make even the birds give up flying."

"Understood," Mountain Head replied, tone polite enough to order tea with dismemberment.

Below, the Baby Qilin stirred again.

Its eyes snapped wide, six solar cores, burning behind slitted pupils. It stared up at Sykarra, then at the chain.

Then at everything.

It remembered.

It remembered fire before heaven.

It remembered its mother's scream when she melted a god.

And it sure as fuck remembered not liking chains.

Sykarra's body tensed.

For a moment, her veins visibly hardened from sheer danger-awareness, her body aware before her brain.

She couldn't pull it out.

Not with her full strength.

Not without snapping her own spine in half.

The chain tightened.

So did her asshole.

"Fuck me... Its core's activating!" she hissed.

Vaelzaar spat, stepping beside her. "Move. I'll help."

She had no choice now. The observers had arrived. The window was closing. And the little bastard was one tantrum away from turning this crater into a legendary funeral pit.

She stepped forward, her hands glowing, her expression fierce.

Together, two Commander-Class Hunters prepared to do the unthinkable.

Restrain a baby divine beast.

With murder chains.

While half-naked.

And horny for war.

______

Back on the Volcanic Rim!

Moonlight wrapped the ridge like the silk robe of a dying emperor. The earth trembled beneath them, not from cultivation gone wrong or Qi backlash—no, this was something worse.

The Giant Titan Baby was moving.

"Kekkekeke~!"

Each step sounded like tectonic plates getting spanked by a heavenly paddle. He was laughing, high-pitched, childlike, echoing through the mountain like a baby possessed by a Dao fragment.

He was a minute away.

And now they all knew.

They weren't alone anymore.

But Su Xiaobai?

He wasn't looking at the titan anymore.

He was looking at her.

The tall figure now fully turned, the woman whose ass he'd groped moments ago like it owed him rent.

And it wasn't Ranran.

Because Ranran, veiled, silent, crouched like a morally conflicted concubine, was already ahead, peeking over the ledge, giving him the look of a junior caught with his hand in the rice sack.

So who the fuck did he just touch?

A chill ran down his spine.

That aura.

It wasn just... strong.

"You were looking for her…?" the woman asked, turning fully now. Her limbs moved like she owned gravity itself, every step the beginning of an execution.

Ye An's smile bloomed, not angry, but curving dangerous. The kind of smile a widow gives her next husband... At the funeral.

Su Xiaobai blinked. "Ah… yeah," he said, nodding like a man caught peeking into heaven's cleavage.

Which, to be fair, he had.

His gaze held steady, except for that one traitorous flicker downward, when her chest caught the moonlight just right.

A sacred jade valley bathed in forbidden enlightenment.

Totally unintentional.

Probably.

"Ye An," she said. "Lady Ye An will do."

"Of course—Lady Ye An," Su Xiaobai smiled smoothly, hands behind his back, hiding the internal screaming of a man who just realized he groped a soul-reaping demon.

"I assure you, that-mistake was… a misunderstanding. I'm a man of ethics. I only bully the weak—uh, bless them. Wisely. With consent... Usually."

"Oh..." Ye An didn't laugh.

He wasn't even trying to hide the fact he was a smug bastard.

Even after hearing her name, even sensing her strength, he still had the gall to joke?

She looked at him like she was deciding whether to dissect him headfirst or balls-first.

Su Xiaobai, meanwhile, offered his most villainous smirk, subtle, smug, and calibrated for maximum provocation. After all, he fully expected a strike that would send him soaring into the next continent. His [Invincible Meat Shield Body] had saved his ass more than once.

But then—

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The giant approached.

Su Xiaobai's frowned as he sensed the titanic aura.

He clicked his tongue, 'Titan Baby'. Not something he wanted to play catch with.

"How about," he said, gesturing past Ye An, "we focus on the sudden tectonic tantrum behind you… rather than the minor act of my hand discovering your heavenly peaches?"

For a moment, it worked.

Ye An's eyes flicked toward the crater.

Her pupils narrowed. Her senses sharpened.

Then she turned back.

Expression still.

And she stepped in.

Way too close.

Su Xiaobai didn't move, but deep inside, his villain instincts screamed: Brace for impact. Death wears lipstick.

"...Something wrong, Lady Ye?" he asked, voice polite.

Whoosh.

Her hand struck—not his face.

His crotch.

One palm wrapped around his Yang Root like a blacksmith testing steel. The other hand cupped his balls.

Gently.

Then clenched.

Crack~

For the first time in years, Su Xiaobai's smirk faltered, a single bead of sweat formed over his forehead.

"Consider this day," Ye An whispered,"our karmic encounter."

"You distract me with earthquakes… while fondling my ass like a brothel pauper?"

He coughed. "That wasn't—okay, yes, but—"

"Shh."

"We're not even," she said softly. "Not until I grind these under my feets. Slowly... And make you beg to keep at least one."

Then she let go.

"Cough..." Su Xiaobai staggered half a step back, gracefully, like a man trying to pretend he hadn't just had his family jewels interrogated.

He adjusted his robe with dignified silence.

Ye An didn't say another word.

She turned, gave him one last look that said "I'm not done with you", then launched skyward, a streak of divine light flying toward the other side of the volcano.

Where hell was waking up.

Su Xiaobai watched her vanish.

Clicked his tongue.

"Tch… I groped her ass. She groped my legacy."

He glanced at his groin. Still functional.

Barely.

Another woman trying to crush his bloodline... Sigh.

Women in this world, he reflected, were getting way too handsy with his destiny shaft.

There was Xiao Hei, last year, who nearly crushed him into eunuchhood for "accidental bumping."

Now Ye An.

He adjusted his robe with a sigh, glancing down at his still-suffering groin.

"Maybe I really do need armor," he muttered. "For the brother who never sins alone."

Just in Case Someone Decided to Grope Him… Again.

From the side, a soft snort.

He snapped his head around. "What? You want a turn too?"

Su Yiran, Ranran—struggled to keep a straight face. Her eyes shook as her shoulders shook with silent laughter.

"Humph! Don't look at me," she huffed, chin lifted to hide the flush. "It's not my fault your hands wander like a drunk in the night."

Su Xiaobai raised a brow. Oh? This cat dares bark now?

He stepped forward.

She tensed.

"No, don't—don't bring that thing near me!" she recoiled in disgust, backing up, recognizing the villainous glint behind his easy grin.

Too late.

He reached out, grabbed her wrist, and planted her warm hand right on his crotch.

"!!?"

Her mind blanked.

What kind of lunatic... actually does it?!

Her fingers twitched.

Su Xiaobai's smile bloomed like a moonlit pond full of drowned regrets. "Fair's fair. You laughed. Now you learn."

"YOU—!"

"Beibei!"

"CHIIIIIIII!!"

From above, a high-pitched screech split the clouds.

Thunder roared like clouds had been molested.

A bolt of divine lightning slammed down, right where the Titan Baby had been patiently waiting for his scene cue, unaware he wasn't even in the script today.

The Titan Baby stomped to a halt, raising a rocky fist with pride.

"M-Mountain Head ready! M-Mommy said I c-could squish bad guys t-today—"

BOOOOM!!

He was erased mid-sentence like Heaven rejected his audition.

The blast lit the rim in pure white, the shockwave hit like a mountain snapping in half. For a moment, Su Xiaobai's bones rattled with shockwave.

"Ah," he said, blinking at the light. "Beibei still has it."

Then—BOOOOM—!

A second explosion.

Hotter.

... Wider.

The entire sky ignited as something else descended, no, pierced, from above.

Su Xiaobai groaned, shielding his eyes as white flame surged across the ridge.

He turned just in time to catch the afterimage, Ye An, a comet wrapped in divine fury, slamming into the opposite side like she hadn't just turned her body into a flying warhead.

Shame.

He kind of wanted to copy that move.

Too bad he was currently blind.

Still better than the army on the other side, they got front-row seats and zero refunds.