The Queen’s Toy

"Relax, I ain't gonna tell the Queen about what you've said earlier. Besides, I also do think the Queen's too weird, didn't you know…?"

 

I subconsciously nodded my head in agreement.

 

Indeed, just who in the hell wouldn’t find the Queen quite strange?

 

First of all, what does she even need for a toy? She’s not a child herself anymore ain’t she? 

 

And second, it’s not that I don’t want to admit it, but I’ve already actually thought of what she’s gonna use me for….

 

I mean, anyone would kind of thought of it, no matter who’s the person on the current situation of mine…..

 

….I am young, and still energetic, so…. Hell, even though I don’t want to say it out loud my thoughts, I guess I really have no choice don’t I?!

 

Heck, who the hell am I screaming for inside my thoughts in the first place.

 

Perhaps, the reason she wanted me to become her toy is…. Maybe she’s a secret masochist or perhaps a beast in heat not satisfied enough of her husband’s delicate touch? 

 

AAAAAAAAH!!! You know, the thing that I meant. I’ve read some things about it from one of the books my father buried in the ground, while cautiously scanning the surroundings.

 

The holding hand things?!?!

 

Aigoo, if not that, then what else?

 

Before I knew it, a sigh had already escaped from my mouth.

 

I was so tired of thinking, to the point that I stopped thinking any further.

 

What help would it give me anyway? It’ll only poison my mindset, thinking of such a lewd thing.

 

The thing is, holding hands could only be done by the two married couples of a man and a woman.

 

It was a sacred thing that a single woman should never do. From the books I’ve read, holding hand was so sacred that one might get arrested if they publicly do it with someone else.

 

So, won’t I get my head severed if I were to do that with the Queen?

 

You know what I meant right? She’s the Queen of our land, and the current King’s wife. Never mind getting my head off alone, my whole family might get burnt down to death.

 

Utmost, I don’t want that to happen.

Hell, I’ll even sell my father’s soul to the demons out there just to save my mother.

 

Well, even if she’s not in danger, I would gladly sell off my father’s soul if I really encounter one.

 

I didn’t even know that I might encounter one in the future. Welp, that was a story for the future.

 

I licked my dry lips in delight. Since the voice beside me was a comrade, I don’t have to fear having my head rolling in the ground.

 

At the very least, I would trust the words that came out in void if I could see the said person. But, since my eyes were blindfolded, I could only fear the future.

 

Before opening my mouth to speak once again, I coughed my dry throat real hard, before asking in a rather low tone.

 

“W- Will you really, won’t tell the Queen about this?”

 

“Yes, I won’t.”

Strangely, I thought I’ll have to wait for a few minutes just to hear the familiar voice again, but to think I would be able to hear it loud and clear throughout my ears in a fast pace, I was rather feeling relieved.

 

“I- If you said so….”

Even so, there were still bit of fears in my heart.

 

The feeling of having your field of view blocked, and could only see behind the blindfold wrapped around their eyes was so scary, that it gives me some creeps.

 

Even if I were to be in the safest place, I would still feel fear by having my field of views blocked. I mean, anyone would. A blind man would fear everything, because everything could become a threat since the blind man knew nothing of, to his surroundings.

 

Hell, even a demon would panic in a place he cannot see, so why would I be an exceptional?

 

Strangely, It’s been a while since the silent arose around the two of us. Wasn’t it strange that a thought that perhaps the said person scheming something, a strange thing? 

 

I mean, perhaps behind this cloth wrapped around my eyes, were probably a grin etched on the said person’s face. It wouldn’t be strange if it is. Anyone who loved to tease their prey was like that.

 

So, ain’t my situation kind of the same as a trapped mouse whose cannot move, nor escape? In just mistake, I might even trigger my own death, won’t I?

 

As soon the threatening cold feeling thrust forward inside my heart, and clouded my thoughts with dark clouds, a footstep coming closer was echoing in the whole room. Perhaps it was because it was close to me, that I could loudly hear it, no? Or maybe, the said person was doing it intentionally?

I started shaking under my shoulders, and my warm feet earlier, was now as cold as dead corpse. Cold sweats breaking out from my forehead flowed down, and the expression I was holding crumbled rather slightly.

 

“U- Uh…. Is there a problem?”

 

I spoke with my voice, while shaking in fear. But, I kept the dark clouds invading my heart a little, in order to not let the said person see such a weak sight of me. If I let fear overcome me, then what difference would I make from a coward who runs away in war just to save their petty lives.

 

Most of all, the reason my mindset was kind of strong, was because, I don’t want to become my father.

 

My father who chose to sell off his son, just for his petty life to be saved.

 

I- I don’t want to be like him.

 

I know that I’m trash myself, but I swear to myself, that I will never- ever become like him. A coward who’ll reserve his life in exchange of other’s life, just for his to be spared.

 

< I want to go home (02.3) >