The Privateer

What in the name of The Crunch? Yvian pulled up flight controls on her console. The human style controller extended. She watched the autopilot countdown to it's vector change. She checked the sensors. She pulled up the human's location on another monitor. He was walking into the armory.

The ship's comm chirped. "Captain Mims, this is Lissa."

"What is it Lissa?" the human's voice answered.

"I've got three ships headed my way. Not pirates, but not Confed either."

"Let me see." The Captain was silent for a moment. "Privateers, looks like. Opportunists. They'll be after the ships we capped. Might try to take yours, too. I'll be out of comms for a while, but keep Yvian linked in and use your best judgement."

"What, why are you going off comm?"

Mims ignored the question. "We need those ships, Lissa. Do what you gotta do." He ignored the rest of Lissa's hails as he rooted around in the armory.

Yvian watched the autopilot initiate the vector change. All four ships turned, firing their engines. The enemy fleet was closing in. They were at two thousand kilometers. Fifteen hundred. A thousand. When they reached fived hundred kilometers the Captain was standing in an airlock. He said one word. "Fire."

Yvian pushed the button. The Random Encounter launched a barrage of missiles. Halfway through the launch, the Captain jumped out of the airlock. The other three fighters launched missiles as well, a hail of death streaking towards the enemy. Yvian could see the missiles on sensors. She could not see the human. The voidarmor's stealth function must be better than she'd thought. The missiles appeared to be targeting the two frigates. When they were within twenty kilometers, the battlecruiser opened fire. The missiles were all destroyed in an instant. Scary.

They were within a hundred kilometers, now. The enemy ships were accelerating, trying to close the gap before the Encounter and its escorts could speed away. The battlecruiser opened fire. Dozens of Rapid Artillery Arrays spat machine gun bolts of yellow energy, a corridor of lights snaking towards her ship. It would have been beautiful if it wasn't trying to kill her. Yvian veered well out of the way. The cruiser tracked her movements, the column of light whipping to strike the space she was about to enter. She veered again, and again.

The frigates and remaining pirate fighter opened up as well. Their weapons were slow compared to the buttclenching speed of the cruiser's antifighter arrays, but they still made evasive maneuvers that much harder. The wall of deadly light was shifting faster now, as the enemy fleet closed to sixty kilometers. Yvian changed direction as quickly and erratically as she could manage. Her ships had finally finished decelerating, and were picking up speed in the other direction. The enemy fleet was still moving faster.

The Cruiser changed tactics. The pillar of light bolts expanded, becoming a cone as it scythed towards Yvian's ship. She dodged frantically, barely getting the Encounter out of the way. The Knife Edge and The Cockknocker weren't so lucky. The cone caught them, shredding both ships in an instant.

Yvian's heart pounded in her ears, her body clenched in fear as she desperately maneuvered. The cone tracked her, bolts of energy so swift she barely had time to register them from forty kilometers away. Her breath came in quick, panicked gasps. She knew she should unclench herself. Tension would slow her down, might cause mistakes. She didn't dare try. A moment, a fraction of a moment, could be the end of her.

Green plasma ripped across the shields of The Random Encounter. The ship shuddered. Yvian had been so focused on avoiding the deathcone of RAA blasts that she'd dodged right into a frigate's stream of fire. She let out a terrified yelp. The shields held. Yvian didn't risk a glance at their status. She kept dodging for all she was worth.

Slowly, painfully, her ships increased the distance. Bit by bit, the deathcone became easier to dodge. Fire from the other ships was much slower, easy to avoid as long as she paid attention. The enemy ships could not accelerate as quickly as her fighters. They were at eighty kilometers. Ninety. Ninety five. One of the frigates fired missiles. Thirty two of them.

Yvian gasped out a curse. She had no idea how to deal with missiles. They could maneuver much more quickly than a ship, and their tracking systems made them impossible to dodge. In the simulator, she'd been taught to shoot them down, but she'd never dealt with so many at once. More to the point, she couldn't stop dodging the deathcone long enough to bring her guns to bear. Yvian was going to die.

"Point defense activated." The ship computer's soothing tone shot a lightning bolt of hope down her spine. Two turrets on the back of the Encounter targeted the missiles. Beam weapons lanced out at a quarter of the speed of light, destroying the projectiles in seconds. She dimly remembered the Captain's lecture on not wasting missiles against ships with point defense turrets. The beams were too weak to do much to a shielded ship, but "hell on wheels" against guided projectiles. Her vision blurred as tears fell. She was going to live.

In the brief second she took to wipe her eyes, the cruiser's RAA cone caught up to her. She managed to swerve just enough to avoid most of the hit, but two bolts struck her shields. She let out a blistering string of curses as she resumed dodging. A few moments later she risked a glance at the ship's status. Her shields were down to six percent.

Her ships were moving faster now, gaining distance. At six hundred kilometers, she felt safe enough to work on her breathing. As she took in her second deep breath, the comm chirped. Yvian yelped at the sound.

"Attention pirates," A deep gravelly voice intoned. "This is Captain Benri Nox of The Righteous Fire. You have been caught performing illegal activity. Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded."

Confused, Yvian started to reach for the ship's comm link. She stopped halfway as realization struck. Lissa still had her patched into The Pantydropper's comm feed. A glance at one of the sensor screens showed three ships surrounding her sister.

Lissa answered. "Captain Nox, this is Lissa Kiver of The Pantrydropper. I am a privateer performing lawful activity under Captain Mims."

"Your captain's an idiot," Nox replied. "Sending you to take all these tasty ships in a cargo hauler with no escort? You're just begging for someone to take your shit."

"You realize that you just admitted your intentions for piracy on an open comm, right?" Lissa pointed out.

Nox laughed. "So what? Do you think the Magistrate'll give a shit what happens to some foreign hussie? I'm gonna take your ship, fill your holes, and dump your stupid ass out an airlock, and nobody's gonna do a thrice cursed thing about it."

"Maybe not," Lissa growled. "But they won't blame me for defending myself, either. Back off or I'll blow you out of the sky."

"Oh you'll blow alright," Yvian could hear the sneer in his voice. "The only question is how painful you OH SHI-" The transmission cut off. The three ships surrounding The Pantrydropper had become clouds of debris.

"Moron," Lissa remarked. "If he'd scanned my loadout he would've known better."

"Nice going, Sis!" Yvian was far enough away that she could spare a few seconds to talk. "I didn't know you knew how to do that."

"Mark taught me," Lissa said, smug. "What did you think we were doing all those hours he had you in the flight simulator?"

"I thought you were knocking boots."

"Not the whole time..."

A few minutes later, the enemy ships finally stopped shooting at Yvian. At a distance of over three thousand kilometers, dodging was more a deadly annoyance than the imminent terror it had been, but she still sagged with relief. Her arms, shoulders, and back ached after being so tense for so long.

A minute after that, the battlecruiser fired on its escort frigates. RAA bolts stripped their shields down to nothing. A familiar voice rang out on the comms.

"Attention pirate vessels, This is Captain Mims. I have taken the...what's this ship called? The Beefcake? Who names these things? Whatever. I've taken The Beefcake. I'm feeling generous, so I'll give you two minutes to pass control of your ships to me and evacuate. After that you're dust."

The pirate piloting the lone fighter escort replied. "Fuck you, human! The Commandant's gonna-" The transmission cut off as The Beefcake turned the fighter to mulch.

"Those of you remaining have ninety seconds."

The frigates signaled compliance. A minute later a small fighter class ship launched from each frigate. The Beefcake held it's fire as they made for a Jumpgate. The cruiser and it's escorts started to decelerate.

"Yvian," the human commed, "Come pick me up. This thing doesn't have hangar bays, but you can use autopilot to connect to..." he sent a blueprint of the cruiser with an airlock highlighted. "this airlock. I'll meet you there."

Yvian engaged the autopilot. Crunch, her mouth was dry. She had half an hour before The Random Encounter made the rendezvous. She went down to the kitchen to get a drink. Halfway through a glass of water she realized she was ravenous. Half a cake was still sitting on the dining table. She scarfed it down.

She was back on the bridge by the time she docked. One of the consoles lit up as control of the enemy ships was transferred to The Random Encounter. Captain Mims joined her on the bridge a few minutes later.

He walked stiffly. His shoulders hunched. His voidarmor was scored, dented, even melted in a few places. He let out breath as he lowered himself into his seat. He checked his monitors. Yvian watched as he set a course to intercept the Worldmover. The Encounter, The Pimphand, and two frigates moved out at the fastest acceleration the frigates could manage. The Beefcake followed much more slowly.

"So," he remarked. "I notice we're missing a couple of ships."

"Fuck you," Yvian snapped. "It's a miracle I'm still here at all!"

If Mims was bothered by her sudden anger, he didn't show it. "That's true. It's good to see you can come through in a crunch."

"The Crunch? Don't talk to me about The Crunch!" She whirled on him, shouting. "What would a human know of The Crunch?"

"I didn't mean that Crunch." The human raised his hands in a placating gesture. "It's an old human expression. Poor word choice on my part. I apologize."

Yvian sat back, glaring. "Why am I so angry?" She didn't notice she'd said it aloud until the Captain responded.

Combat stress," he told her. "It hits you after the fights done. This is your first time. You'll get better at handling it as you go along."

"Lovely," she muttered. She was starting to shake. The human pretended not to notice. They sat in silence until it passed. She asked, "Why aren't we staying with The Beefcake?"

"It's too slow." The Captain pointed at the screen. "A two kilometer ship takes a long time to get moving. The shipyard would be through the Gate by the time we got there. Even bringing the frigates we'll be cutting it close."

Yvian grunted. The Captain took off his helmet. His face was pale and sweaty. "Do you need to go to the medbay?"

"It's not life threatening," he assured her. "I'll get patched up when we're done here."

Time passed. The Captain went back to the kitchen. When he got back he complained that someone had eaten all the cake. Yvian grinned, a little sheepish.

Their little fleet started decelerating fifty thousand kilometers from the target. At forty thousand kilometers, two continuous lines of energy struck the Random Encounter.

"Shit. They've got beam weapons." Mims maneuvered the Encounter to hide behind the frigate named Murderdeath. Yvian moved The Pimphand to hide behind The Killshot. She looked at the Encounter's status. Shields were at ninety two percent.

The beams were coming from the two frigates guarding the Mover. With the Encounter hidden, the beams switched to strike The Murderdeath.

The human cursed some more. "I should've known they wouldn't use ordinary frigates to escort the Mover. Beam weapons use a ton of power, and don't do nearly the damage, but they hit at near light speed. You can't dodge them, and they outrange any other weapon by tens of thousands of kilometers." He typed furiously into his console. "This is gonna be rough."

"So what do we do?"

"We gotta buy time to get close." Mims waved Yvian over to see what he was doing. "I'm programming a formation. One frigate in front, one behind it, and our fighters in the rear. Front frigate tanks the damage, then rotates to second place every couple of minutes. That'll give it time to regenerate shields a little. When we get to twenty thousand kilometers, the lead frigates gonna open fire."

"Won't the other frigates just get out of the way?"

"We're hitting the Mover," he tapped the screen. "It's still tractoring the shipyard, so it can't dodge. Worldmovers don't carry weapons, but they've got a ton of shielding. It'll take a lot of time to pound them down."

Yvian waited. The ships were on autopilot, so there was nothing to do but watch the beam frigates whittle down shields while her ships pounded on the Worldmover. She felt herself tensing as they closed the distance.

"Alright," Mims said when they were within eighty kilometers. "At twenty kilometers their fighters are going to jump in. Our frigates are gonna lay off the Mover and go for The Bad Touch," he pointed at one of the beam frigates on the screen. "You're going to take control of The Pimp Hand and provide covering fire. Be ready to hide behind Killshot if those phased beam arrays target you. I'll do the same with The Encounter. Our frigates have bigger guns than we do. We need to keep the enemy fighters off them for as long as we can. Got it?"

Yvian nodded.

"Good." The Captain put hands on his controls. "Initiating attack in three...two...one...go!"

The frigates swerved, launching salvos at The Bad Touch. A dozen fighters swooped towards them. The Random Encounter shot out from behind Murderdeath, dispatching two of them in a matter of seconds. Yvian darted out from behind Bad Touch, guns blazing. She tore through the shields and heavily damaged a fighter, but had to break off as four more hammered her shields. She ducked back behind Murderdeath. Her shields were almost gone. She launched missiles.

The Encounter ducked back behind Killshot as beam weapons slammed its shields. Yvians missiles struck the vessel she'd damaged, shattering its hull. Killshot's shields fell rapidly as four fighters poured fire into it. She launched more missiles, destroying one of them. The other three converged on her hiding place. She strafed under Killshot, away from them.

The Encounter re-entered the fray. It's guns shattered one fighter as missiles dispatched a second. The third tried to use The Killshot as cover, but ran nose first into Yvian's guns. She readied herself to face the remaining fighters, but there were none. Captain Mims had killed the others.

"Not bad," he told her. "Go after the Mover. I'll keep the frigates busy."

Killshot's shields were at two percent. The enemy beams burned through the remainder and tore through the ship as Yvian's Pimphand shot towards the Mover. She was close enough now that she could pick up the ship's name. The Big Mama.

The enemy frigates were placed five kilometers away and on opposite sides of Big Mama. Yvian angled her approach to use the giant Mover as cover so only one frigate could target her at a time. She fired as she went. Big Mama's shield's were at three percent. This shouldn't take long.

Yvian parked The Pimphand five hundred meters from Big Mama. She released the ship's combat drones as she pounded on its shields. Fired every missile she had left. Its shields dropped to two percent. One percent. Almost...

A plasma beam struck The Pimphand. Yvian kept firing. "Come on... Come on... Shit!" The Pimphand was destroyed. Big Mama still had one percent of its shields. "Shit!"

The Murderdeath exploded. Two beams latched onto The Random Encounter. One stopped as the Encounter's guns managed to pierce The Bad Touch. The Encounter streaked towards Big Mama, trying to get out of the other frigate's line of fire.

"Did you release the drones?" Captain Mims asked. The Encounter managed to put itself between Big Mama and the remaining frigate. Yvian checked it's name. The Longfire.

"Yes."

"Good." Mims commenced firing on Big Mama. "That was closer than I'd like. Two more seconds and we'd be eating vacuum." Yvian checked the Encounter's status. Shields were at one percent.

The Longfire circled, coming closer, but Mims easily kept The Big Mama between them. "Shields down. Drones deployed. Let's hope six is enough. I'm simulating a weapons malfunction. We need to buy some time." All but one of the Encounter's guns stopped firing. The remaining weapon fired sporadically, drilling holes in the Mover's hull before its shields came back online. "If the pirates realize we're taking Big Mama, that frigate'll blow her out of the sky. I can't outfly a beam weapon, and we don't have the shields or the firepower to take her head on."

"Do we have a plan?" Big Mama's shields were returning faster than the Encounter's lone gun could damage them.

"Working on it. Let me know if you think of anything." The human glared at his console. "Shit."

Yvian checked the sensors. The Longfire was close, now, circling Big Mama at a distance of only three hundred meters. It wasn't fast enough to catch them. It wouldn't have to. Commandant Barillas had dispatched reinforcements. Six fighters and a frigate had broken off from the fleet engaging the Confed. They'd be in firing range in forty one minutes. The Beefcake was still seventy minutes away. Lissa was almost finished capping the fleet they'd disabled, but those ships were even further.

If only the Mover had a way to defend itself...

Yvian perked up. "I have an idea."

Twenty three minutes later, Yvian's console pinged. The combat drones had taken The Big Mama. She had control. The Worldmover's shields had risen to twelve percent. Mims had let the Encounter's last gun sputter out twelve minutes previously.

"You sure you don't want to do this yourself?" she asked Mims.

The human shrugged. "It's your idea. You get to do the honors."

"Ok," she took a breath. "Here we go, then."

The Big Mama released the Milvari Shipyard from it's tractor beam. Yvian targeted The Longfire and locked it in the Mover's grip. She decelerated, bringing the frigate closer to the station.

"Melgor?" A pirate's startled voice hailed Big Mama. The comms were routed to Yvian's console. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Melgor's dead," she told the pirate. "You have three minutes to give me control of your ship and evacuate before I smush you into the station."

"Are you insane?" the pirate sputtered. "You could destroy the station!"

"Nah, the shields'll hold," she told him. "It'll just slow down a little from squashing you like a bug."

"You crazy bitch!"

Yvian put more power into Big Mama's engines. "Now you only have two minutes. And before you think it, your gun won't break our shields before the station breaks you. I did the math."

"You fucking bitch!"

"You said that already." Yvian gunned the engines a little more. "Sixty seconds."

"Alright, alright!" the pirate yelled. "I'm leaving. Fuck! Passing control now. Let me get to my ship."

"Forty seconds."

"I'll remember this, bitch."

"I hope so," Yvian hoped he could hear her smile. "I'd be terribly disappointed if you didn't, Twenty seconds."

Yvian released the tractor beam as a small craft exited The Longfire. Mims fired the frigate's engines and moved it away from the station.

"Nicely done," Mims approved. "There's just one more thing to do." He opened a channel for general broadcast. "Attention all vessels, this is Captain Mark Mims of The Random Encounter. We have taken your Mover. Your attempt to hijack the Milvari Shipyard has failed."

"Do you think so, Captain?" Commandant Barillas purred through the comms. "I think this just means we'll have to kill you all and take Big Mama back. I'll give you one more chance to surrender before we start."

"You think you can?" Mims countered. "I've got fifty ships and a fleet of Confed Militia that says otherwise. Be smart, Quintina. Even if you win, you'll lose most of your fleet, and I can scuttle Big Mama long before you get the chance to take her back."

Silence. Mims waited. After thirty seconds, the Commandant hailed just The Random Encounter. She said, "I have men aboard that station, Captain. Loyal men. You grant them safe passage, and we'll go. Otherwise all bets are off."

"Deal," Mims agreed. "I can't speak for the Confed, but me and mine will let them pass."

"Very well." Steel crept into the Commandant's voice. "I won't forget this, Mark. I'm raising the bounty on your head. You'll see me again, someday. It will be the last time you see anything."

"I'm looking forward to it, Quintina. A worthy enemy is a rare and precious thing."

"Perhaps." The pirate leader issued a general transmission. "Attention all hands, this is Commandant Quintina Barillas of The Last Shadow. Abort the mission. I repeat, abort the mission. All hands retreat to the rendezvous point. The Freedom Republic will fight another day. All hands, abort."

The small fleet approaching Big Mama changed course, heading for the gate. A few minutes later, several ships undocked from the Milvari Shipyard. Mims let them leave. As the last of them entered the Jumpgate, the mass of pirates facing the Confed disengaged and followed.

The comm pinged. "Mims, this is Captain Tharn. By the Five, you've done it! You saved the shipyard!"

"That is what you're paying me to do," Mims said, simply. "Speaking of..."

"Yes, yes, sending your fee now." The human's console pinged. "The property preservation bonus will have to be reviewed before we can authorize it, but you'll get it eventually. The other ships you took are yours to keep, but we need that Mover. Pass us control so we can put the station back in orbit."

"Will I get it back when you're done?" The privateer inquired.

"Of course, of course. We're not thieves." Tharn assured him. "Just route us control for a day or so." Yvian looked at Mims. He nodded. She transferred control. "Excellent. Obviously, the shipyard's off limits until we put it back and check on our people, but you're welcome to wait. We'll be happy to do business again once we've squared everything away.

"Understood, Captain," Mims said. "Mims out." He switched off the comm and sighed. "That's half a billion credits I'll never see again."

"You don't think he'll give Big Mama back?" Yvian was confused. "He said he would."

"Of course he did. He'd have said anything to get his hands on that Mover. He'd have blown us out of the sky if that's what it took." The human shook his head bitterly. "Right now he's writing up a report detailing his daring raid to take Big Mama from the pirates. It'll probably land him a promotion."

"What an asshole," Yvian remarked.

"He really is." Mims perked up. "But enough about that. Let's bring all our new ships together and meet up with Lissa. We might have to bake another cake."

A few hours later found them back in the Encounter's kitchen. It would have been sooner, but as soon as she boarded the ship Lissa had taken the Captain away so she could "Fuck his fucking brains out." Yvian had moved to The Pantydropper to escape the noise.

"Big damn heroes," Lissa grinned over a mouthful of cake. "That's what we are."

"Legends," Yvian agreed. "Myths, even. They'll talk about this for years."

"I'm don't want to be imaginary," Mims pointed out. "I don't think myth is the way to go."

"You know what I mean," She said. "Don't take things so literally."

"I'm a very literal person."

"We're not just heroes," Yvian continued. "We're rich heroes!"

"We did capture a lot of ships," Lissa agreed.

"It's not just that," said the human. "The contract awards one percent of the value of any property rescued from immediate theft or destruction. We saved the Milvari Shipyard with an entire Confederate Military fleet docked in it. That's trillions of credits."

"Trillions?" Yvian dropped her fork.

"At least." Mims calmly ate another mouthful.

"By The Crunch..." Yvian mused as she picked up her fork. "I might just retire once we get those textiles delivered." Lissa stared at her in shock and disbelief. "What?"

"Sis..." Lissa put her palm up to her face.

"What?"

"Fuck your textiles. We're rich!"