NOVEL WEB Giving it a Chance
Looking at the excited princess unable to maintain the pretense until the end, Bai Yu Yan silently shook her head. Her eyes scanned the crowd to see if Lu Tong Xiao had arrived but she only saw Xuyi standing at a faraway inconspicuous corner and watchfully looking at her direction. Since Lu Tong Xiao had still not arrived, she carried an elaborate bronze cup of wine and strolled around the garden to pass the time. There was a beautiful wooden bridge that arched over a flowing stream. Four lanterns hung on each corner of the bridge lit the whole structure. She walked towards it in leisure steps and leaned on its railing.
She wanted to cool her mind in this peace and quiet and straighten out some thoughts which she had been deliberately ignoring all this while.
In all honesty, she was not oblivious to Lu Tong Xiao’s efforts. The cold man was always awkward with his words and expressions but he was silently acknowledging their relationship. Although not so good with words, his thoughtful care was expressed through his actions even if she always played ignorant in front of him. Be it when he let her open the shop with her own identity or earlier when he offended the empress without a care for his image in order to help her from the tricky situation. The man had blindly come to her side without even knowing whether she had really dropped the bracelet or not and even dragged his father into it.
Although indifferent to most matters, Bai Yu Yan was not completely emotionless. Her mother-in-law and father-in-law’s kindness, and Lu Tong Xiao’s care, she knew it all but chose to close her eyes. She didn’t know what was keeping her from embracing it all, the fact that she couldn’t accept the reality of this new world or the fear of the future where her fate was waiting in a dark abyss.
She stared down at the steadily flowing stream and her reflected image on it. She closed her eyes and slowly opened them. Maybe the alcohol really did get to her head as Lu Tong Xiao said otherwise why would she see the image gradually change into her real image. Although this body was almost similar to her real appearance, Bai Yu Yan knew the reflection which was looking back at her belonged to the real her and not the body she was occupying. She shook her head to clear her mind and looked at it again. Still, it was her real image. It was as though it was trying to tell her that although the ancient and modern Bai Yu Yan had become the same person, they were also two different people. She couldn’t continue to become the Bai Yu Yan, a character of a novel. Else, she would soon lose her own identity, forgetting herself forever.
Bai Yu Yan ran her hands over the surface of the handrail. The cool sensation against her skin reminded her that this is real-world and not just a novel. Lu Tong Xiao and the others are not just some actors playing the characters portrayed by the author but real people with flesh and blood and most importantly, heart. Moreover, regardless of what he is meant to do in the future, she couldn’t escape from the fact that Lu Tong Xiao, a man that everyone feared but desired, was her husband. They were bonded by marriage, a relationship that she couldn’t take lightly. The man had not wronged her in any way and to treat him coldly because of a prejudiced mind was not justified.
Closing her eyes, Bai Yu Yan took a long deep breath, the gentle breeze caressed her face. She didn’t know whether she could go back to her world. This life might be the one for her, there might not be another chance. So she couldn’t run away anymore. When she opened her eyes again, her bright hazel orbs gleamed with a newfound resolve. She didn’t know why she came to this world but since she had promised herself to live this life without holding back, she wouldn’t throw away what she has just because of the fear of consequence. In her first life, she had a lot of regrets, a lot of ‘what ifs’. Now that life had given her another chance, she wouldn’t waste it away. No matter what awaits her in the future, she’d face it bravely so that there wouldn’t be any regrets to wallow over. At least, she wouldn’t be disappointed in herself for not even trying in the first place.
“Even if you want to die, you can’t die by jumping from this height. At most, you’ll be crippled with broken arms.”
A sudden voice awoke Bai Yu Yan from the middle of her self motivation session. Turning her head to the side, she looked at the culprit with irritation in her eyes.
A man in a white robe stood at the end of the bridge. He looked plain and simple with no excess accessories but it couldn’t hide the nobility exhibited in his every movement. Beneath his curled lashes, a pair of gentle eyes were looking at her with serenity. But his perfect tall nose and the thin lips, Bai Yu Yan felt familiar seeing it. Like she had seen it somewhere before.
“Which great eyes of this gonzi saw me jumping from the bridge?”, she said giving him a blank stare.
“Don’t tell me that’s not what you were thinking.” The man leaned sideways on the railing and looked at Bai Yu Yan with a smile in his eyes.
At his words, she directly rolled her eyes. “Oh, so this gongzi even reads mind? Some skills you have, don’t you?”
Hearing the obvious sarcasm laced in her words, the man didn’t mind. Instead, he chuckled lightly as he looked at the woman donned in complete black and lazily resting against the railing, like a watersnake. His deep voice resonated in the quiet night.
“What are you doing here alone? Shouldn’t you be there?”, the man motioned towards the crowd with his head.
“Maybe, trying to jump off the bridge? What about you?”
“Maybe, disrupting someone’s plan from jumping off the bridge?”, he imitated her tone.
Although annoyed, hearing him she couldn’t help but laugh. She felt relaxed after having sorted out her mind like a heavy load had been lifted off her shoulder.
“Have we met before?”, she looked at his vaguely familiar nose and lips and asked with caution. Had it been in modern time, she was sure the man would have thought she was flirting with him.