Chapter 46
〈 Chapter 46 〉 Water and Rubidium.
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”Ugh!”
As the holy voice of the Saintess pressured my consciousness, my view that had been observing the past twisted back to reality.
”S-Saintess?”
”Ugh!”
Thud thud.
While I was feeding the Saintess, her fluffy little fist came flying towards my frozen body, just like that.
Although the impact wouldn’t even crush a tofu, the fact that the usually indifferent Saintess reacted so dramatically indicated her mood was quite puffed up.
I hastily awakened my dull senses and corrected my posture.
”I’m sorry, Saintess. I was lost in thought for a moment…”
”Hmph!”
Fortunately, her lips just pouted a bit, and she did respond to me, so it seemed she wasn’t too seriously upset.
But I couldn’t let my guard down.
It’s as foolish as closing your eyes on the edge of an unseen cliff to relax when a woman is angry right in front of you.
Some often liken the relationship between men and women to water and oil.
That’s like knowing one and not the other.
The relationship between men and women is closer to water and rubidium.
Water and oil just don’t mix, but they don’t cause any real harm either.
But what happens when water and rubidium meet?
Unless you were dozing off in science class, you’d know that it triggers a massive explosion that wipes out everything nearby.
For the record, the man is the water, and the woman is the rubidium.
At least that’s how I feel.
”I’m sorry, Welna. Big brother was wrong.”
While trying to act like an older brother, I carefully patted the Saintess’s head.
How ridiculous was it to act like a clingy brother to a woman who was twice my age? While I used to feel embarrassed about it, now, I didn’t feel any awkwardness at all.
Humans are adaptable creatures, but if one adapts to such cringe-worthy situations, aren’t they just animals?
I was on the brink of bursting into laughter at my ridiculous predicament.
And then, it happened.
The Saintess grabbed my hand that was petting her head.
”W-Welna…?”
My heart sank.
Could it be, here we go again?
Although I had somewhat learned how to soothe the Saintess, each time drained my energy just the same.
Moreover, right now, thanks to an unexpected encounter and the memories it unearthed, I had no empty space left in my heart.
I was exhausted. I wanted to rest. I wanted to lie down on a bed, close my eyes, and quietly fall asleep.
My stomach turned due to the heavy and sticky thoughts clinging to my mind.
But at that moment.
”Ouch… Ouch…?”
The Saintess moved my hand from her head to her cheek, murmuring in a soft voice.
”Welna…?”
”Ouch?”
Ouch.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out she meant ‘Does it hurt?’
I wasn’t careless with my time spent with the Saintess.
Her gentle tone colored with concern, the faint worry shining in her crimson eyes…
If someone were to ask if I could be held accountable for my words, I would say not quite.
Yet, the Saintess seemed to be worried about me.
That was what my intuition and experience told me.
”What are you talking about, Welna? Why would I be hurt…”
I replied with a somewhat tired tone.
There was a hint of awkwardness, but I tried to dispel her worries with a bright smile.
However.
”Hmph!”
”Ugh!”
It seemed my feeble smile didn’t sit well with her, as she suddenly rammed her head into my abdomen.
Right after that, a familiar white power surged fiercely from her arms wrapped tightly around my waist.
”W-Wait! Welna!”
Thud.
My legs gave way.
Thankfully, the numbness only affected below my knees, and her sudden action wasn’t too far beyond my expectations.
Even while my body was swaying, it wasn’t hard to protect the Saintess from harm as she hugged me tightly.
All I had to do was to make her my bed.
”W-Welna… I told you that doing ‘that’ is dangerous, how many times do I have to say it…”
But using divine power in that way wasn’t right, and I had firmly pointed that out just the other day.
I thought I needed to give her a stricter warning, so I furrowed my brow, just as I was about to scold her.
Slide.
Before I could even finish speaking, an emotion, unable to hesitate, surged.
The Saintess pulled my face close and quietly embraced me.
”Saintess…?”
I accidentally slipped into formal speech, as the holiness that exuded from her actions was clearly detached from reality.
It felt like I was dreaming.
A hazy feeling, as if my body and soul were drifting apart.
I had experienced this before, but this time felt different.
What was previously born from a strong desire and obsession now felt kind and gentle, stemming from concern and care.
It was like a newborn baby finally settling after being moved into their mother’s arms from a small cradle.
While it might be firmly etched in everyone’s memory, its essence was blurred—an indescribable comfort that soothed my consciousness.
”…”
”…”
Silently, the Saintess began to stroke my head.
Like a kind mother who gently pats a child having trouble sleeping due to a nightmare, singing lullabies and keeping watch over a peaceful night.
My body and mind froze at this absurd situation where our roles were completely reversed.
No words came out.
Normally, I would have pushed her away.
I should have done just that since I had indeed done so before.
Yet, the reason my lazy body couldn’t easily shove her away was simply that she felt warm.
When my body and mind were exhausted, I couldn’t logically shake off the warm touch of someone comforting me.
I wasn’t strong enough.
”P-Please, Saintess. That’s enough. I’m really not hurt! So please let go…”
Crack.
Even the words I painfully assembled with whatever rationality I had were easily unraveled by her magnificent power.
The thoughts that lodged in my throat suddenly rose, struggling desperately to escape my mouth, yet my trembling lips kept closing tighter.
I couldn’t let my already shabby appearance, cuddled up with this young girl, become even more embarrassing.
How long had it been?
”Ouch… Don’t… Don’t…”
The Saintess rubbed her cheek against mine as she poured out her heartfelt plea.
As our faces moved closer, her usual brash demeanor seemed to vanish entirely.
It was as if she was stitching up a torn doll, trying to share her warmth with me without any gap between us.
I hurriedly buried my face in her embrace.
I couldn’t show my unworthy face that was about to crumple with tears in front of such a sacred radiance.
Though I had long since regained feeling in my legs, I couldn’t carry out the simple act of lifting my body and felt stuck there.
Thump thump.
Swayed by the beautiful heartbeat right next to my ear, I quietly closed my eyes.
Perhaps from the years spent focusing only on being helpful to others, the presence of someone soothing me felt slightly strange.
But when my eyes started to flutter closed, the idea of having someone to lean on felt just comfortable and cozy.
”Sleep well… Zzz…”
I was able to fall asleep peacefully, forgetting everything.
The roles, responsibilities, and missions entrusted to me.
The mistakes, brands, and sins carved into my soul.
Yes, at this moment, I could forget them all.
◈◈◈
”I’ve lost my mind… completely crazy…”
As I roamed the corridor, my hands remained on my face, unable to move anywhere.
Even this was quite the compromise with reality.
If it were up to my heart, I’d want to bang my head against the hardest wall around here.
”Even if I was exhausted from a day full of myriad tasks… how could I sleep clinging to the Saintess in the Meeting Room until sunrise…? There’s a limit to recklessness…”
To be exact, this wasn’t the first time I had slept in the Meeting Room.
But back then, it was an accident after being unable to withstand the Saintess’s blessing and fainting. It was, what you may call, an unavoidable circumstance.
However, in yesterday’s case, I could have easily avoided such a situation, yet I willingly succumbed to the Saintess’s embrace.
”You filthy jerk. Pervert. Trash. Disgrace to the clergy.”
I squatted down in place, continually hurling self-hatred at myself, but my disgust about the foolish choice I made yesterday showed no signs of dissipating.
Embraced by the Saintess, I showed no inclination to reject it, fully relishing in that euphoric feeling of guilt melting away.
A 29-year-old loser snuggled up in the arms of a 16-year-old girl.
Is it acceptable to let such a despicable criminal roam free in this world?
I don’t think so.
The desperate call from the Sister must surely be to deliver a deserved punishment for the wicked sin I committed.
I finally understood why that fallen gang member in a movie I once watched was frantic about not being able to cut off a finger for his wrongdoing.
”I should just die…”
With resolve in my heart, I started to feel a bit lighter in both spirit and step.
”Hah…”
Thus, with the heart of a prisoner walking to the execution chamber, I swung open the door to the reception room where the Sister had summoned me.
Creeeak.
What I saw was…
”Sister?”
”O-Oh dear, you’ve come… Rayjit, the Guardian Priest…”
The Sister, sitting with her hands politely placed on her knees, was trembling like a mouse before a cat.
And right next to her, shoulder to shoulder, was a ridiculously familiar figure who was glaring at me like she wanted me dead.
”Hey. Why the hell did it take you so long to get here?”
”A-Apis, what brings you here…?”
What in the world is going on?
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