chapter 40
Even as Park Han-su looked close to tears, Tae-seo remained unbothered, gazing down at him indifferently. If anything, it was Han-su’s fault for suggesting they go outside in the first place. When Tae-seo met his eyes, as if asking if he had something to say, Han-su hesitated but ultimately shut his mouth. His expression brimmed with frustration, likely because he knew about Tae-seo’s secondary gender but couldn’t voice his thoughts. Not that Tae-seo had asked him to care.
"We’re done, right? I’m leaving."
He had nothing more to say. Whether it was Kang In-hyuk or Seo Da-rae, they were people he preferred not to run into anyway. Now that he had made it clear he had no issue with the group project, he turned away.
‘Why hasn’t he texted?’
Not long ago, Kang Se-heon had been messaging him, asking when he would be finished. But suddenly, there was radio silence. Tae-seo pulled out his phone. Just thinking about Se-heon helped clear away the lingering irritation that had been clouding his mind. His lips, which had been pulled down in frustration, curled up slightly.
‘What should we eat today?’
Maybe he could take Se-heon to a place he had found delicious. He had been treated so many times before—it was his turn to pay this time. But as soon as he thought about it, he realized he didn’t actually know where to go. Ever since becoming Yoon Tae-seo, he hadn’t gone out exploring much.
After a brief moment of consideration, he narrowed down his options. It wasn’t like he had no choices at all; he just needed to pick something that met his criteria. With his mind made up, his steps felt noticeably lighter.
Tae-seo was too preoccupied with thoughts of Se-heon to notice the three pairs of eyes following him. Usually, he walked with his back straight, as if there were an invisible line guiding his steps. But today, his movements were uncharacteristically uneven, his upper body swaying slightly.
Park Han-su narrowed his eyes.
He was so sharp with us just a moment ago—there’s no way he’s walking like that because he’s in a good mood, right?
Though it seemed likely, Han-su decided to shift his focus away from Tae-seo for now.
"Tae-seo doesn’t seem to be feeling well today. If I’d known, I would’ve told him to go home and rest earlier."
Tae-seo had always been sensitive and irritable, especially when it came to anything related to Kang In-hyuk. Seo Da-rae had suffered the most from that. Lately, however, Tae-seo had seemed noticeably calmer. But today, he had acted just like his old self again, and Han-su didn’t want Da-rae to get the wrong idea.
"Let’s not dwell on him and just wrap things up."
Han-su began stacking his books to pack up, but Da-rae hesitated, his hands hovering over his own materials. His hesitation wasn’t because of Tae-seo—it was because of Kang In-hyuk. Earlier, he had already felt uneasy about the unfamiliar way In-hyuk had been acting. And now, even as Tae-seo disappeared from sight, In-hyuk still hadn’t stopped staring after him.
It felt as if something invisible was tightening around his throat. Maybe it was because he was wearing a high-collared shirt today—it felt suffocating. Da-rae tugged at his collar and called out to In-hyuk.
"In-hyuk, let’s go too."
"…Yeah, we should."
In-hyuk nodded slightly but didn’t even turn to look at him. There was a lingering sense of hesitation in his movements as he slowly closed his laptop and began packing up. Then, suddenly, he turned his head.
Tae-seo had just disappeared around the corner of the building.
In-hyuk abruptly stood up.
"Da-rae, do you mind waiting here for a bit? Or you can head to the lecture hall first if you want."
"What about you?"
In-hyuk skimmed over his books absentmindedly. But he wasn’t actually organizing them—he was just looking for an excuse to delay. Da-rae, who had been with him all day, felt an unsettling shift in their dynamic. It was like something had slipped, misaligned at the last moment.
"I need to talk to Tae-seo."
Hearing Tae-seo’s name from In-hyuk’s mouth, Da-rae quickly pressed his lips together to suppress any reaction. He forced himself to think positively. At least In-hyuk wasn’t lying to him about going to see Tae-seo. And maybe there really was something trivial that needed to be said. Their families had known each other for years, after all.
Da-rae managed to muster a smile and nodded.
"Okay, I’ll wait in the lecture hall."
"Alright. See you there."
As soon as In-hyuk finished speaking, he swiftly gathered his belongings and left. That left only Han-su and Da-rae standing there. Han-su had been about to leave, but now, caught at an awkward moment, he glanced at Da-rae uncertainly.
The smile that had been on Da-rae’s face when he was talking to In-hyuk had vanished. And what replaced it…
Da-rae must have realized Han-su was staring because he turned to meet his gaze.
"You should get going too."
"Oh, yeah. Right."
The table was now only cluttered with Da-rae’s belongings. Han-su scratched the back of his head and mumbled, "I’m heading out," before turning away. But he hesitated.
Just moments ago, Da-rae had smiled so gently at In-hyuk. But now that In-hyuk was gone…
It reminds me of how Tae-seo used to look.
There was an unmistakable longing in Da-rae’s expression. It didn’t make sense—Han-su had always thought In-hyuk and Da-rae had a good relationship. So why did Da-rae look like someone still holding onto something they couldn’t let go of?
Maybe I’m imagining things.
Han-su shook his head lightly.
I already have enough on my plate just dealing with Tae-seo’s manifestation. I don’t need to overthink this too.
With that, even Han-su left, leaving Da-rae alone at the table.
Da-rae stared down at his old laptop and absentmindedly ran a finger over the surface. Tae-seo and In-hyuk both had the same sleek, high-end laptops, while his looked embarrassingly outdated in comparison.
Because it bothered him, he tried to use his laptop as much as possible—to prove that, despite its appearance, it was still useful. But in reality, he was the only one who cared. Neither Tae-seo nor In-hyuk had ever seemed to notice how outdated his laptop was.
"Why am I so pathetic?"
Da-rae rested his arms on the table and buried his face against them. If anyone had heard his thoughts just now, he would’ve been too ashamed to show his face.
If it had just been about the laptop, it wouldn’t have been this bad.
"Why do I…?"
Seo Da-rae’s small whisper lingered in the space between his arms before dissolving into nothing.
"Did I want to steal Yoon Tae-seo’s laptop?"
Because when it sat next to Kang In-hyuk’s, it made them look like a couple? Did he want to take it away and destroy it because of that?
Da-rae lowered his gaze, staring at his own laptop with conflicted eyes. Ever since he started spending more time with Kang In-hyuk, everything about himself had started to feel unbearable.
****
"Meeting?"
Reading the message about an unexpected meeting, Tae-seo’s steps slowed. So that’s why Se-heon hadn’t replied. The excitement he’d felt about meeting up with him quickly deflated. If Se-heon had a meeting, it wasn’t like he could just demand that he come see him instead.
"I mean, he really has been putting off a lot of work just to see me."
No wonder his secretary had come to fetch him so urgently that time. Tae-seo muttered to himself, trying to comfort his own disappointment. But unlike before, his steps no longer felt as light.
"Guess I’ll just go home."
He absentmindedly rubbed his stomach. Now that he knew he wouldn’t be seeing Se-heon, the hunger he’d felt earlier had faded away.
"I should eat properly even without him."
"Maybe I should ask him for something with his pheromones on it?"
It was a passing thought, but as soon as he voiced it, he wondered why it hadn’t occurred to him earlier. If he had something carrying Se-heon’s scent, he could feel stable even without him physically being there.
"Yoon Tae-seo."
Hearing his name from behind, Tae-seo’s shoulders jolted. His heart pounded from the sudden surprise, and he pressed a hand against his chest before turning around.
He blinked in confusion at Kang In-hyuk.
He had assumed he was walking alone, speaking freely without lowering his voice. Had In-hyuk overheard him? The uncertainty kept him from speaking immediately.
"Stop for a moment."
"…Did you just call me?"
And Seo Da-rae wasn’t even with him.
"Are you heading home?"
"…Yeah, and?"
Tae-seo nodded without hesitation but still glanced around. As expected, neither Seo Da-rae nor Park Han-su was anywhere in sight.
Kang In-hyuk was standing alone, looking straight at him.
What was this situation?
From what he could tell, In-hyuk hadn’t heard what he had muttered to himself earlier. But that didn’t explain why he had called out to him.
"I have something to say."
"To me?"
Tae-seo frowned slightly.
"I already told you earlier that my sources don’t need to be included in the project."
"It’s not about that."
"Then what do we even have to talk about?"
It wasn’t as if Tae-seo held any resentment toward In-hyuk—he was just genuinely curious. As far as he was concerned, they had already severed most ties.
Lately, he hadn’t interacted with In-hyuk at all. He hadn’t been bothering Seo Da-rae, either. Outside of attending school, his life had revolved almost entirely around Kang Se-heon.
"Is this about Se-heon?"
The thought suddenly hit him.
He recalled the time he had unexpectedly run into In-hyuk at Se-heon’s house. They hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms. Could it be that In-hyuk wanted to bring that up now?
Tae-seo’s lukewarm reaction made In-hyuk’s eyebrow twitch. It was as if he had just realized calling out to Tae-seo might have been a mistake.
"Let’s move somewhere else first."
It didn’t seem like a conversation he could sort out while standing there.
When In-hyuk suggested they go to a nearby café, Tae-seo hesitated, considering what to do.