The Most Random System

"Are you damn directing me to take photos or to commit suicide?" Bai Bufan gritted his teeth.

If I die like this, even Conan couldn't find the killer. Who says there's no perfect crime?

"You're just being clueless. I fake play with monitor Ding Sihan and the others, so the photos are all fake, just tourist snaps with zero artistic sense.

But what relationship do we have? I'm planning to take you a 'Flying Bai Bufan', something to submit for this year's Pulitzer Prize. Trust me, buddy, jump over, come on, would I ever harm you?"

Lin Li frowned, not liking this feeling of distrust, and then added:

"By the way, your mobile payment password hasn't changed, right? If it has, let me know, it's quite important."

Bai Bufan: "..."

"Bro, pretend play with me too, I want tourist photos, no art." Bai Bufan pleaded.

So vulgar, no aspiration.

Lin Li was disappointed that his desk mate and brother was such a person, but since Bai Bufan insisted, he had to give up.

Bai Bufan didn't really care much for the photos; he just wanted a record and figured he wouldn't post them on social media.

In no time, the four of them took a final group photo, then picked up the Holy Sword and resumed climbing.

They hadn't walked far when Chen Yu Ying and Ding Sihan gasped lightly and moved to the roadside.

Turns out there was an orange cat, a super fat one, semi-trailer level, not sure if it had full insurance.

Completely unafraid of strangers, it meowed twice when it saw the two approaching.

Dead clip, not as nice-sounding as their own purring — Lin Li.

The orange cat had a collar, probably free-range from the temple, fattened up by passing tourists.

At present, Chen Yu Ying and Ding Sihan were discussing whether to buy a hot dog from a nearby shop while taking photos.

Suggested a thorough investigation of the orange cat, suspected ties with the shop's madam, maybe interests collusion.

Seeing such a fat orange cat, Lin Li somewhat regretted Zhou Baowei not being here; otherwise, he could have had eighteen ways to tease him.

He turned to look at Bai Bufan, who coincidentally also looked at him.

"Missing Baowei." they spoke in unison.

Then the two of them laughed warmly.

...

Zhou Baowei, already at the mountaintop museum, sneezed, suspecting some idiot was cursing him.

He glanced down and found "Miss you" messages from both Lin Li and Bai Bufan, smirked coldly.

"It's these two bastards, of course."

So he replied with straight-up swearing.

...

"Lin Li, could you help buy a hot dog? I'll transfer the money to you later," Chen Yu Ying asked, looking up.

"Of course." Lin Li had no objection, bought one and handed it to her, then stood aside to watch them feed the cat.

After feeding, they petted the cat for a while before reluctantly leaving.

"Sorry for keeping you both waiting," Chen Yu Ying said.

Not bad, the monitor didn't apologize this time, progress made.

"No problem, Bai Bufan and I also love small animals," Lin Li waved it off casually.

"Yeah, every meal has to have one. Last time I saw a super cute rabbit, saved half a kilo right away," Bai Bufan nodded and interjected even before Chen Yu Ying could ask.

"Only half a kilo? You call that loving small animals? I at least save half a rabbit," Lin Li expressed disdain.

"Too expensive, a kilo is 500 grams in our place, can't save more," Bai Bufan shook his head.

Chen Yu Ying: "..."

Their conversation made 1.3 billion small animals cry.

It also blocked all that Chen Yu Ying was about to say.

You guys...

"I forbid you from calling this loving small animals!" Ding Sihan huffed in anger.

"Xiaodingding, only when you eat them do you keep them close to your heart. Your love is superficial, ours is heartfelt, so ours is the real love, real 'love'!" Lin Li argued justifiably.

"You, you—"

Unable to win against Lin Li, Ding Sihan tried to snatch the Holy Sword from his hand, seemingly wanting to use Lin Li's weapon to kill him.

But how can a warrior lose their gun? Lin Li not only held it steadily, but also drew it backhand and playfully hit Ding Sihan, though he did pull back.

Ding Sihan is really an M, pursuing him after just a bit of teasing; seems she really loves small animals, extending it to a love for boys who love small animals too.

But Lin Li thought he wasn't a frivolous person, wouldn't agree just because any girl chases him.

Need to test Ding Sihan's sincerity properly.

Look, just 30 seconds into the chase, Ding Sihan stopped.

Lin Li later planned to post a Zhihu question, "Why do some girls stop chasing midway, is love so fragile?"

"Lin Li, you stop right there!" Ding Sihan panted heavily.

"Ding Sihan, keep at it, catch me and I'll give you a 'caught you' party!" At that moment, Lin Li ran while laughing wickedly.

Ding Sihan gritted her teeth and gave up the chase.

No longer the weak chicken Lin Li from last semester, really couldn't catch up at all.

So Ding Sihan used her gaze as a knife, 'killed' Lin Li a hundred times.

"Just don't come back if you dare!"

Lin Li, naturally, wasn't so bored to keep distance from the three of them, he leisurely returned to the group and let Ding Sihan hit him once.

Lin Li explained again: "It was just a joke."

"Hehe, exactly, small animals are so..." Ding Sihan is quite easy to amuse, and hearing this, he showed a smile.

"At the end of the month, Bufan and I are firm vegetarians, without any small animals at every meal. Saying there's something at every meal is purely to decorate the Xiaomian, and pretend a bit. Sorry." Before Ding Sihan could finish, Lin Li apologized.

Hearing this, Bai Bufan nodded solemnly, bowed at ninety degrees apologetically, looking just like a Shiba Inu.

The half-smiling Ding Sihan: "..."

"I'm not allowing—"

Seeing that Ding Sihan wanted to use his stick on himself again, Lin Li coldly laughed: "Later, don't eat, Ding Sihan. I'll be watching you at lunch, you'd better not covet the small animals!"

The stick quickly behaved itself in his hand.

"... What's done is done."

The four continued to leisurely walk up the mountain, and without realizing it, they had covered most of the way. The sun was gradually moving towards the center of the sky.

Hiking wasn't all that tiring, even though Lin Li was carrying the weight for four people. He thought to himself.

Of course, maybe it had something to do with who he was hiking with.

Pretty girls, steadfast brothers, people.

This setup is just perfect.

"Lin Li, we have a situation!" Bai Bufan spoke up once more.

"What's the situation!" Lin Li immediately became alert.

"Persimmon tree, what do you say?" Bai Bufan pointed ahead. They saw a wild persimmon tree that seemed to be growing by the mountainside, hanging with many orange persimmons, the color quite enticing.

"Let's go!"

After a brief exchange, the two jogged over.

After confirming it indeed was a wild persimmon tree and not a planted one, the two started jumping around under the tree with their Holy Sword, while Chen Yu Ying and Ding Sihan watched from the side.

"Too high, you guys won't reach them." Chen Yu Ying laughed and said.

Although the persimmon tree was on the mountainside, it was still too high off the ground. Lin Li could only hit the lowest branch when he jumped up, far from reaching the fruits higher up.

Bai Bufan couldn't do any better.

Climbing the tree was too dangerous, but Lin Li always had his ways.

"It's time for the persimmon tree to feel our boiling blood combo move." Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan.

"OK, you want to go up, or should I?" Bai Bufan immediately understood.

"I'll do it; my physique is better than yours now. Plus, the class monitor said I'm a good person." Lin Li crouched down.

Chen Yu Ying didn't quite get why Lin Li suddenly mentioned her saying he was a good person and tilted her head in confusion.

Bai Bufan, however, got it right away.

—Because good people are the ones who ought to be targeted.

So, he held back his laughter and surreptitiously pulled up his underwear before sitting up.

Lin Li slowly stood up: "Class monitor, Ding Sihan, when Bufan and I knock down the fruits, try to catch them. I'm a bit inconvenienced."

"Alright."

The persimmons on the tree witnessed Lin Li and Bai Bufan shouting about friendship and bonds and came rushing with sticks, thus starting to fall.

Four fruits, not too many nor too few, washed briefly at the roadside waterspout. A bit thirsty, Lin Li tore off the surface and took a bite.

"Not bad, although it's not as sweet as store-bought fruits, it's pretty tasty, not as bitter or astringent as imagined." Lin Li savored the taste, nodded, and took another bite, giving his approval.

The three heard this and also put the persimmons into their mouths.

Three seconds later, all four of them started spitting.

"Spit, spit, it's stringy, sour, not 'tree', not good at all."

Chen Yu Ying scrunched her face up and looked up, seeing Lin Li, who was also spitting but had a face of triumphant mischief.

She initially wanted to glare at Lin Li but ended up laughing.

"Lin Li, you bastard, you're not human!" Bai Bufan angrily exclaimed while spitting.

Yesterday, he tricked Zhou Baowei like this, so he should have been wary, but Lin Li gave the persimmon to Ding Sihan and Chen Yu Ying too. This action made Bai Bufan completely relax and let his guard down—he thought Lin Li wouldn't trick girls.

It turns out he underestimated Lin Li's scoundrel level.

This dog even tricks girls! Tricked Chen Yu Ying too! Doesn't he look inhuman?

"Lin Li!!"

The furious one wasn't just Bai Bufan, Ding Sihan picked up the stick and started swinging.

"Becoming dark-skinned was an accident too, every sign-in gives free spins." Lin Li leisurely took the hits, all while speaking.

Throwing the four persimmons into the roadside trash can, Chen Yu Ying and Ding Sihan prepared to continue the last part of the climb, only to find Lin Li and Bai Bufan returning to the persimmon tree, reuniting.

This time, it was Lin Li's turn to be on top.

"Class monitor, Ding Sihan, please help us catch them again!" Lin Li shouted at them.

"If it's not tasty, why pick them again?" Chen Yu Ying walked over, curiously asked.

Lin Li swung the wooden stick in his hand.

"This one's for Bao Wei!"

"This one's for Wang Ze!"

"This one's for Tian Ming!"

"This one's for..."

How could he not think of the guys when there's good stuff?

Chen Yu Ying and Ding Sihan silently caught the fruits.

Boys, you really are...