The Misfits meet System-san

Bronsen:

So, that's both Alice and Cassy being bullied in one way or another today. Although, I'm sure that Cassy was partly the cause of her own bullying.

And now she's all embarrassed about it.

I had better break the ice and get it over with.

"Say, Cassy, you looked quite impressive there, with your red hair flaring all over the place and you madly jumping around. And that swearing! Almost an education in itself."

"Oh, bullshit, Mr Bronsen. Are you trying to get a rise out of me also?"

"Yep, sure am. And I'm succeeding!"

"Look! Those boys are just utter pricks; it is not my fault that I'm always in the middle of some fight."

"No, no, I'm sure you're not at fault," said Alice, waving her hands around.

"Of course not!" said Drayden. He spoiled it by giggling at the end.

He got a death glare back from Cassy. So Bronsen tried to pat her hair, only to have her jerk her head away.

"Ah, sorry, I don't like that - nothing against you, but!" she said.

"Oh, well, anyway, we all know you have a slight temper problem."

A sigh from Cassy.

"I guess so. I'm so embarrassed at you lot seeing me at my worst."

"Never mind. After all, what we take notice of is you at your best. Or at least your legs..." said Drayden.

"I see. So you're just after my body. And, of course, Alice's."

"Ooh yes!" said both boys.

"Hmm," said Cassy.

Riiight, Alice and Cassy are exchanging significant glances here. Maybe we can make some progress this time...

"Well, now, shall we get to the clubroom and continue with yesterday's meeting agenda?" said Bronsen.

After getting comfortable in those sofas, three pairs of eyes turned to Bronsen.

"So, as club president of the prestigious club The Misfits -"

"Cut the bullshit," said Cassy.

"OK, OK. Has anyone made a firm commitment yet?"

Silence.

A drawn-out sigh from Bronsen.

Oh bloody hell, still no progress.

"I'm sure we are all getting frustrated here," he said.

"Yep, sure are. I bet you boys went home and masturbated like crazy last night!" said Cassy.

"You bet I did," said Bronsen.

"Ha, ha, well, I did also!" said Drayden.

Bronsen looked at Cassy and Alice and waited.

Come on, admit it. Admit it, girls. Pretty please.

Big grin from Cassy. "Well, so did I! More than once!"

Oh, wow! And Drayden thinks so as well.

"Do you lot want me to say if I masturbated last night, ah, and this morning, also?" said Alice, "Isn't that asking a bit too much?"

Oh-oh, I'm getting a little excited here. This could get embarrassing. But I can't resist.

"Did you say this morning, also?" said Bronsen.

"Ah, well, actually, yes!" said Alice.

There was a snort of amusement from Cassy.

"Alice, I think the boys are starting to react to us if you understand my meaning."

"Ooh, so they are."

Bronsen was hunched over slightly and holding his knees up just a little.

Uh oh, this is getting intense. Drayden is reacting the same way, too.

"Say, Alice, do you use a vibrator?" said Cassy.

She’s going to talk about vibrators? Oh wow. This is going to get very intense.

And both Alice and Cassy are looking at each other and pretending to ignore us.

Bronsen was aware of his breathing getting deeper and faster, and his face going red.

Cassy’s face is also turning red. Of course, with her almost black skin, nobody can tell if Alice’s face is turning red or not.

Alice hesitated, breathed, and said, "Of course I do. Also, of course, this is the first time I've told anyone. And I certainly hide it from my parents."

"Well, so do I. Mine is called an 'Easy Rider'. What is the brand name of yours?" said Cassy.

"Oh, it's known as a 'Pink Flufficator'."

Both girls started laughing.

Bronsen’s face went beetroot red. He hunched right over and moved his knees up. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Drayden was doing the same.

Shit! The girls can see that I have a massive colossal erection. And so does Drayden. I hope they stop this line of talk before anything happens.

"So, how long is the business end of yours?" said Cassy.

"Oh, about this much," said Alice, spreading her finger and thumb to indicate approximately ten centimetres.

"Well, mine's about fifteen centimetres long. Although I can't fit it all the way in."

Giggling nervously, Alice replied,

"Mine does go all the way in. But generally, I prefer it to be only about half inserted."

Bronsen gulped nervously.

Oh crap, this is getting too exciting.

I hope I don’t...

Cassy and Alice simultaneously looked up to check on the boys.

"Hmm," said Alice.

"Yeah," said Cassy.

“Say, Cassy, I swear there is steam coming out of their ears!” said Alice.

"Yes. While we could continue, I don't think we really ought to," said Cassy.

"Yeah, I agree. It would be extreme cruelty to dumb animals, wouldn't it," said Alice.

"So we had better change the topic. It's up to us; I don't think they can generate all that much coherent speech at the moment," said Cassy.

"In that case, I have been thinking that we could talk about what each of us thinks is special about the others. Maybe it will help us to make a decision. After all, we have to decide sometime soon, or else someone is going to die from sexual frustration-induced heart attack."

"Fine. I'll start - Drayden first. I was totally amazed to learn that you spend Sunday mornings volunteering at the local hospice. That you go around and give the patients their breakfasts, talk to them, and act as a guide for the visitors. I mean, I'm scared of the very idea of dealing with someone close to death, and you do it every weekend!" said Cassy.

Drayden took a few deep breaths and started to relax.

"Ah, that. It started when I was visiting Granny as she came to her end. And, well, it just went on from there." said Drayden.

"I was thinking that you were a complete and utter nerd, doing nothing but school study, building electronic circuits, and playing those computer games; what are they called again?" said Cassy.

"Role Playing Games," said Drayden.

"Yeah, those games. And, since I'm right at the bottom of the academic pile, I thought you would never even give me the time of day," said Cassy.

"Well, I never had any friends, either."

Cassy looked at the Bronsen. "So, would you agree that he is amazing? You can nod your head if you still can't talk yet."

Bronsen nodded his head. Let’s stick to safer topics for the time being.

"Isn't it great," said Cassy to Alice, "How much power we can exert over the boys?"

"Yeah, it's fantastic. Sometimes. Generally, it's a real pain, but like this, I think it's incredible," said Alice.

"You're right about it being a pain, like when some gross slob of a bloke leers at our skirts as we walk through the shopping centre."

"That is so ucky. But, right now, wow. I wish we could retain this sort of power all the time over them," said Alice.

"How so?"

"Well, if we could flick a switch and the boy's desires disappear. And he doesn't get it back until we decide to flick the switch the other way," said Alice.

"Now that would be awesome! Having a sex life purely at our convenience. Shame, it's never going to happen." said Cassy.

"Yeah. Don't you boys think it's a shame that we cannot control you like that?" said Alice, putting on her most innocent look.

Having my libido entirely controlled by the girl?

Wouldn't that be terrible?

Although, these two girls pretty much control it anyway.

"Ah, I'm not quite sure, one way or the other," said Bronsen.

"I guess, in the general case, if the man is in an exclusive relationship with a woman, and the woman doesn't want to have sex at some point in time, well, the man might as well have his sex drive turned off. But, on the other hand, he could still masturbate, so, I dunno," said Drayden.

Alice grinned. "I think the boys, particularly Drayden, have their speech centres operating normally again. All that blood must be back to their brains and not elsewhere!"

Yeah, it’s a relief to back off from what could have been a very embarrassing disaster.

"But they still have erections!" said Cassy.

Ah, careful, Cassy, don't start us off again. Please! I know; I'll continue discussing why we like each other.

Bronsen cleared his throat.

"Anyway. I decided I liked Cassy when the three of us found her in the park after school one day, and she was running her informal little playgroup session with her younger sister Veronica and her sister's five friends. I mean, normally at school, we see you either sulking at the back of your class or in some fight with someone. And yet, there you were, calming down a little six-year-old girl who had just fallen over, and then you continued playing with them."

"That's right, it contrasted with your usual behaviour, seeing you with your sister. That's when I decided that your body and personality were lovely," said Drayden.

"Oh, my body still comes first, does it?" said Cassy.

Bronsen produced a big cheesy grin.

“Oh, you bet!”

"Not with me! It's strictly your personality I admire," said Alice.

"But I can't say the same about Bronsen!" she continued.

"Of course, the personality comes first. Well, at least for us girls. And when we visited your house that time and found out that you were practically bringing up your mentally disabled younger brother all by yourself, I was so impressed." said Alice.

"Not all by myself; my parents provide all of the finance, drive Timothy around, and take him to his special needs school, and, you know, all that sort of stuff. All I do is, basically, the emotional bonding stuff. Cause my parents couldn't care less," said Bronsen.

He looked sad, so Drayden gently patted his back a few times.

"Anyway," said Alice, "To see you hugging him, escorting him to the toilet, and getting him to bed and reading him a story, well, my mind was blown."

"Same here." said Cassy, "All of that side of you is just not visible at school."

"So it must be my turn now," said Drayden. He turned his head to Alice.

"What I think is great about you is your work in that indoor rock climbing club. And, the time we visited, there you were, encouraging these old but fit fogies to climb up and down the wall. You looked confident and relaxed, and you spoke clearly and with conviction. It was such a change from your usual don't-look-at-me look as you walk around the school, head bent down, eyes on the ground, never saying anything to anyone."

"Ah, yes. I suppose at the rock climbing club, since they don't know me, I can try out new ways of interacting with them, and if it doesn't work out, well, there's always next week and a new lot of clients," said Alice.

By now, Bronsen was fully relaxed and feeling normal. There was a contemplative silence for a while. Faintly, they could hear the soccer club having a trial match in the background.

Drayden:

Now, if we can get back to the main agenda item?

"So, I guess that there's still nobody able to make a decision?" said Drayden.

There were mumbled noes from the other three.

"Bloody hell! I could be having my very own girlfriend for the first time - and I get a choice of two! And nobody wants to make a choice as to which one!" said Bronsen.

He waved his arms out and shouted out, "This sucks!"

I fully agree!

But I hope nobody outside heard that.

Everybody became quiet.

He listened, but the noises outside remained faint, and nobody appeared to be coming closer.

"Nevertheless, it is the pits," said Alice, "I'm sure that none of the other students have this problem."

"Admit it, we're stupid beyond belief when it comes to sex and relationships," said Cassy, "I'm sure at least half of the other students in our year are happily fucking each other like bunnies, and we are stuck at the can't decide stage."

Fucking like bunnies? Isn’t that a bit crude? Never mind, it’s just Cassy.

"Yeah, I'm sure the class stud in my classroom is making out like that bunny with at least two of the girls. In fact, two of the most attractive girls in our year... oops," said Drayden.

He then stopped.

I think I might have made a grave tactical mistake.

He saw two girls looking at him with killing intent. Cassy made a scissor-cutting motion with her hand.

"I'm sure boys have had their you-know-what cut off for crimes less severe than that."

Oh shit, that was extra stupid. I had better act it up and make a grand apology.

Drayden clamped his hands over his groin.

"Don't cut me! I, well, I mean to be in a sincere and loving relationship with one of you soon, so, of course, we must strive to attain honesty in our communications, and, well, in all truthfulness, you two are not at the level of Miss Universe Beauty competition entrants - but that doesn't matter! I mean, I want a union of our hearts and souls, not to mention our personalities, and once we become deep in love, your inner beauty will combine with your physical outer beauty and to me, you will outshine all other women! Truly!"

Cassy looked at Drayden. Then looked at Alice. Alice and Cassy nodded their heads.

"Not bad. A bit on the flowery side and over the top, but I'll give that a pass," said Cassy, smiling happily.

"But, getting back to the main topic... Why don't we just each have two girlfriends? Or boyfriends, as the case may be." said Bronsen.

Drayden gave a big grin; Oooh yeah, wouldn’t that be nice!

"You want to make love to me, then hop out of my bed and hop into Cassy's bed and make love to her?" said Alice, "Like bloody hell!"

Drayden lost his grin.

"I bet you probably want both of us in bed with you at once, don't you?" said Cassy.

Another grin from Drayden, but not as big as the first one.

Wow, just think of it, Cassy's pure white skin alongside Alice's almost black skin...

I had better stop thinking about this.

After all, I know perfectly well where this is leading. And Bronsen does also.

"There will be no group sex!" said both girls, displaying amazing unrehearsed synchronisation. Their eyes glowed red, and Drayden pushed as far back on his sofa as he could.

"Never!" said Alice.

"Ever!" said Cassy.

But Drayden still had a bit of grit left. "So, it's all right if we have two girlfriends each, but we keep the sex part separate?"

"I may be a stupid sex-crazed teenage virgin, but even I know that such an arrangement will end in lots of tears!" said Cassy.

"I'll have to agree with that," said Alice.

Unfortunately, so do I. Let’s ham this up.

Drayden pulled out his calculator.

"Let's not rely on our ignorant estimates; let's work it out scientifically..."

He began mashing the keys on the calculator.

"There's four people, and each person has two others they like, so that makes it a total of four different couples, plus another two platonic relationships, plus..."

"And I get that such a love square with us will last about seven..."

"What, seven years?" said Bronsen.

"No, about seven days," said Drayden.

"Bullshit. I would give it seven hours before it all gets too nasty to handle," said Cassy.

"That feels about right. Seven hours for us to have sex in all possible combinations, and then the jealousy would hit like a falling bus," said Alice.

"It's a bit sad, actually," said Drayden.

"It is. It would certainly solve our problems, at least for the time being," said Bronsen.

There was a depressed silence for a while. During this time, Bronsen noticed that the calculator that Drayden was still holding did not look like a conventional calculator. It was bigger and fatter than normal and had a clear plastic case showing off the circuitry inside.

"Funny-looking calculator," he said.

"Ah, this. It's not a calculator as such; it is a developmental electronics board into which you can sort of program your digital electronic design. So I designed it to act like a calculator."

"That's clever... I think," said Cassy.

Oops, I didn’t mean to show off my hobby like this.

He hurriedly put it back into his bag.

"But, anyway, Alice, when you said 'in all possible combinations', were you by chance thinking about Drayden and Bronsen together?" said Cassy.

Drayden reacted instantly. "No bloody way!"

Bronsen said the exact same thing at the exact same time.

"Ohh, you mean there is not going to be any hot BL action for me to watch?" said Cassy.

"Huh?" said Bronsen.

"BL means Boy Love," said Cassy, "It's a whole subgenre of young adult literature.

They all looked at her.

"So, does that mean you - read it?" said Drayden.

"Ah, well, I didn't mean to tell you about that, but yes, I do. Any problems?" said Cassy.

"And, do these boys get up to, you know, actual sex and everything?" said Alice.

"Y-yes?" said Cassy.

"Say, can I borrow some of your BL literature - purely for scientific research, of course," said Alice.

"Certainly!"

Wow, another exciting facet of her personality. And Bronsen looks as if he had never even heard about BL literature. And now Alice wants to read some.

Of course, that segues directly to something else!

"What about some hot girl-on-girl action?” said Drayden.

"No bloody way!" said two girls in perfect timing.

How disappointing!

"Not that I have anything against lesbians, you mind. Nor, for that matter, against male homosexuals. It's just that I'm strictly heterosexual." said Alice.

"Well, for what it's worth, that's good that you don't mind homosexuals. Since my older sister is one," said Drayden.

"She is? How did your parents take it?" said Alice.

"It took them hardly any effort before they fully accepted," said Drayden.

"Amazing. If it were my parents, they would have gone ballistic." said Alice, "I've had some robust conversations with them on that subject. I have just given up even mentioning such things."

What were we originally talking about? That’s right, girl-on-girl action.

Fortunately, Cassy went right back to this.

"Poor boys, since we won't be supplying any girl x girl action, it looks like they will just have to stick to their pornographic websites, doesn't it," said Cassy.

"Yep, they sure do. But wait a minute, they have us! Should we let them look at all of those pictures of naked girls?" said Alice.

"Well, now, in the strictly hypothetical case where each boy does have both of us, then, of course, one of the absolute conditions is that they don't look at pictures of naked girls at all," said Cassy.

"Sounds reasonable, in that strictly hypothetical case, of course. I would go further and make it so that they can't look at any other girl, either on a computer screen or in real life, with sexual intent ever again. Do you think that is fair, Cassy?"

"Of course. And do you think it is fair, boys?"

"Hmm, in that strictly hypothetical case, sure. I'm happy to make that sacrifice,” said Bronsen.

"Oh, yes, I'm happy with that, too," said Drayden.

"Hey, wait a minute, that also means that you two can't take notice of any handsome boys, either," said Bronsen.

"What, I would have to give up my BL?" said Cassy, "Well, since this is all strictly hypothetical, then I guess I would have to."

"So, OK, I would too," said Alice.

By now, they were all laughing.

"This is all so much bullshit!" said Cassy, "Remember, we are still complete virgins and still can't commit ourselves to anything."

"But it is also so romantic. I mean, there is true love between all four of us - well, it's platonic between the two girls and the two boys - and we are all so devoted to the group that we are not willing to lose our love by breaking up into couples," said Alice.

"Oh, rubbish. I think we are just sex-crazed teenagers high on hormones and just want to have sex with each other," said Bronsen.

"Oh, you have so destroyed my mood of romance by mentioning such a sordid thing as sex!" said Alice.

Did she really mean that? Well, maybe not, she is laughing after all. I think.

Anyway...

"Well, I think that we are just scared shitless about the whole taking-the-next-step-to-being-adults thing, and we are just procrastinating madly and putting off making any commitment," said Drayden.

"Bullshit! I'm not scared of starting a sexual relationship!" said Cassy.

"Oh yeah? Then make a choice, and you can!" said Bronsen.

"Huh..." said Cassy.

Alice grabbed her school bag, rummaged around, and produced a large sheet of paper (only slightly crinkled) and a marker. She scratched away at it and created this diagram.

Bullshit

Scared

True love

Sex

Which she showed to the group.

Yep, that’s all true.

"I can do better than that," said Cassy.

She took the paper and marker, added her annotations, and showed the group the result.

Total Bullshit

All the way

Scared Shitless

and totally ignorant

True love and friendship -

we hope

Sex-crazed hormone-charged

teenage lust

And that just about sums it all up.

Drayden nodded his head in agreement and saw that the others were also.

Cassy grabbed a beat-up chair that was currently crammed into a corner and put the sheet of paper on it, where it was visible to all.

"So, what do we do about it?" she said.

"Let's call it a night since it is getting late. I need to go home now," said Drayden.

"Sure. I bet you want to fantasise about two girls talking about vibrators!" said Cassy.

"My my, how did you ever guess?" said Drayden.

Alice and Bronsen giggled.

They got their bags, went to the door, and then halted.

"Hmm, since we are all such good friends, can't we at least share a hug..." said Drayden.

I hope that Cassy and Alice are not too sceptical.

"Are you going to get an erection from merely touching a girl?" said Cassy, "After all, you are a total virgin."

"Ah, certainly not! I mean, I won't get an erection even if I am a total virgin. Err, as long as the hug doesn't last too long." said Drayden.

Bronsen agreed.

Cassy smiled evilly, "Then, in which case, prove it by first hugging Drayden! And then, whatever sort of hug it is, you can share it with me. And, I suppose, with Alice."

Eek! You want me to hug Bronsen?

Then it was Bronsen's turn to smile evilly.

"Sure, we'll do it if you and Alice also share a hug. Agreed, Drayden?"

"Oh, ahh, sure!"

Alice and Cassy shared another glance.

"OK, boys first," said Alice.

Drayden faced Bronsen and, very gingery, opened his arms. Bronsen followed suit; they stepped in towards each other and gave each other a full-body hug.

This is weird or something. I can feel his body against mine. It's not quite uck, but not entirely comfortable, either. Let’s separate as soon as possible. But not so fast that Bronsen will be offended.

They stepped apart.

"Ooh wow, a bit of BL after all!" said Cassy.

"It is not BL!" said Drayden.

"OK, now the boys and girls can hug. We need to leave the two girls' hug to the very end; otherwise, the boys will get too excited," said Cassy.

So Alice and Cassy gave a brief hug to Bronsen and Drayden, and then they swapped over.

And, at last, the event the boys had been waiting for was when Alice and Cassy hugged each other.

This is the best hug of all! Now that’s something to, err, think about tonight.

Narrator:

Finally, the Misfits turned off the light, locked the door, and went home and did whatever was necessary to relieve their frustrations - more than once. Sadly, the relief didn't last for very long.

The forgotten piece of paper was left behind, sitting on the chair.