The Misadventures of the Doll Witch

There’s a phrase that has lingered with me throughout my life, binding me with its invisible chains. They bound me tight, preventing me from feeling free, and able to live my life as I was.

“The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.”

It’s a cruel truth, really. If you stand out, even if it's only a little bit, you get labeled as different. Not in a good way either, I don’t know how many times I have been told I was weird, strange, or just too much. So many people whispered behind my back, some people took a more direct approach. I still remember the day I was punched in the face by the school bully, and harassed in many ways behind closed doors, especially in the bathroom.

In a sense, it feels like the world punishes you just for existing outside its narrow confines. They try to hammer you down, smooth you out, make you fit their mold. I didn’t fit that mold. I never did, no, I never could.

Maybe that’s why I have always felt so drawn to the fantasy worlds of swords and sorcery, adored witches, and lived in my own world of imagination. Avoiding the real world, knowing that, at any moment, maybe they would lynch me like they did all those witches of the past.

I suppose I saw something of myself in those witches—misunderstood, feared for being different, hunted for standing apart. There was a kind of defiance in them, a strength to be who they were despite the world's cruelty. They were the outcasts who didn’t bend, the ones who refused to be hammered down. Maybe that’s why I was so fascinated by their stories, their magic, and their power. In my mind, they weren’t villains. To me, they were the heroes and worthy of all my respect and admiration.

But, unlike them, I was no hero. I was just a girl, struggling to get by in a world that only accepted those who flowed with the stream, not against it. Then, even that was taken from me.

It happened when I was 16 on November 12th, 2013.

I’ll take you back to that day, as painful as it is to remember it.

My mom and I were on our way back home from a girl’s night out. It was cold, the kind of biting chill that seeped into your bones and made you shiver no matter how bundled up you were. I remember her laughing at something, probably a dumb joke I made at the time, I don’t remember clearly. Her voice was as warm as ever despite the frosty air.

Then, the headlights.

The headlights came out of nowhere, cutting through the darkness. My mom’s laughter died instantly, replaced by a sharp intake of breath as the car in front of us veered wildly into our lane. There wasn’t even time to think, let alone react. My heart stopped; my pulse froze in the split second before impact.

The crash was immediate and brutal. The crunch of metal, the gravity pulling me forward, the sharp pain as I felt my legs get crushed. The car shook violently, shocking my body to its very core, it was as if the very world around me was being torn to shreds and span at the speed of light. Everything blurred together. The shattering glass, the sting of pain as shards cut into my flesh, the seatbelt yanking me back as the airbags exploded out.

The next thing I knew, we were spinning. Our car tumbled through the air, blurring the world I could still see into a jumbled mess of darkness and a reddish white. I remember someone screaming, maybe it was me, I don’t know. Then we hit the ground with a savage crunch.

I think I lost consciousness for a moment after that because when I woke next, all was still. I felt the icy chill of freshly fallen snow as the flakes landed on my face, I couldn’t call out to my mom, nor could I see her, not as I was. I must have flown from the car at some point, and all I felt was a dull numbness.

The world had stopped, the only motion was the soft snow flitting through the night air and landing on my skin. The smell of gasoline and some other unknown scents were all that entered my nose.

My mind felt sluggish and groggy, as if it was shifting in and out of a state of sleep, caught between the shock of the accident and the deafening silence that followed. Everything hurt, yet, at the same time, it all felt numb. My hands, my legs, my arms, my chest, even my head, all felt as though there was a nonstop prickling tingle throughout.

I tried to move, but my body refused to listen. My limbs were heavy, as if weighed down by several tons, and had a dull ache that wouldn’t go away. Everything around me felt distant like I was watching the scene unfold from far away, almost as if I was truly not a part of it.

My mind began to wander, seeking the fantasies of witches, swords, and sorcery as my awareness began to fade. A gentle escape that I used to hide away from the harshness of reality. A soft smile graced my lips despite my situation as I imagined myself as one of them. A powerful witch adventuring across the lands, living the life of one of my favorite characters as I traveled the mystical lands of wonder. But, even in fantasy, I couldn’t escape reality for long.

Reality always had a way of breaking through, no matter how desperately I clung to my dreams and stories that kept me sane. The cold snow against my skin, the pain in my body, and the eerie stillness around me pulled me back into the present. The fantasy world I had crafted in my mind crumbled away, replaced by the harsh, unforgiving truth of the accident.

I opened my eyes again, blinking against the snowflakes that continued to fall. The world was so quiet, unnaturally so, except for the faint sound of my own breathing. My chest felt tight, each breath a shallow, painful effort. I turned my head, searching once more for my mom, hoping, no, praying, that she was okay.

I couldn’t see her. The twisted wreckage of the car was still there, but my vision was blurred by a warm sticky red veil. I felt a sharp pang of fear in my chest, worse than any physical pain. Where was she? Why wasn’t she moving?

I tried to call out, but my voice was weak, barely coming out as a faint whisper in the crisp night air. Panic began to set in, pushing aside the numb embrace that had me in its grasp. I needed to move, to find my mother, but my body refused to respond to my commands.

It was then that I noticed the red. A dark pool of it glinted in the delicate light of the moon above as it pooled its viscous iron-smelling fluid beneath me, staining the soft snow below with a dark, pretty red. Blood, my blood. The sight left me reeling, nausea taking hold as I coughed up more blood. I was hurt, and gravely at that.

My mind raced, my thoughts tumbling over each other as they sped through it. Was this it? Was I going to die here, cold and alone? The thought terrified me, but at the same time, there was a strange sense of comfort that washed over me as I accepted this. After all, I had always felt like I never belonged in this world. Maybe it made sense for it all to end here, like this.

No

I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. The fire that was my will to live on flared up, stoked by that realization.

As I lay there, struggling to stay conscious, the world seemed to swim in and out of focus. The numbness gave way to an unbearable, throbbing pain. I tried to focus on anything that could help me cling to life. The cold snow continued to fall, each flake, a tiny, biting reminder of the harsh reality I was in.

I could hear the distant sirens now, their faint piercing wail growing louder with every passing second. They filled me with a blend of hope and torment. As it felt as though they were beginning to grow distant. I couldn’t tell if it was my consciousness slipping, or if they had passed us by. I tried to move my limbs again, but they felt like they were filled with lead weights. My fingers twitched slightly, but any effort to shift my position only intensified the pain.

I focused on the sound of the sirens, willing them to come closer. I tried to call out again but choked on a mix of blood and flehm that filled my throat. My breathing was shallow and raspy, each breath a struggle against the tightness that filled my chest.

Through the haze of pain, I thought of my mom. The fear and worry I felt for her eclipsed my own suffering. All I could do was fear the worst, knowing that in an accident like this, it would be a miracle if anyone lived.

The sound of footsteps grew closer, and a light pierced the darkness of the night once more. Shadows moved against the backdrop of flashing lights of red and blue, revealing a group of people running over with a stretcher. As the paramedics rushed towards me, their urgency was almost tangible. I could hear their voices, sharp and focused, yet somewhat faint as they called out to me.

“Stay with us.” One of them said, but their words were almost drowned out by the roaring in my ears. Their hands were gentle, but firm as they moved me onto the stretcher, every movement causing a fierce wave of agony to spread through my body.

I tried to cling to their words, to the hope that they represented, but my vision was failing me. I caught glimpses of their faces through the red that blinded me, concern etched on their features. They worked swiftly, their hands moving with practiced efficiency. I could barely make out the flashing lights growing closer, was I moving towards the lights? Or were they moving towards me?

Despite their best efforts, I could feel my body betraying me. My consciousness was slipping in and out, with longer bouts of unconsciousness growing more frequent. Each time I came to, a numbness filled my body. One moment, I was slid onto the gurney in the back of the ambulance, the next time I came to, the city lights flashed by. The last thing I remember is seeing the hospital come into view before I fully blacked out.

The soft, steady beating of the heart monitor was the first thing I heard as I came to. I don’t know how long I was out, nor did I know if my mom made it. As that thought hit me, my eyes welled up with tears as I realized how likely it was.

The room itself was sparsely decorated. Sterile, with the scent of antiseptic filling the air with its strong smell. I blinked slowly as I struggled to take in my surroundings. I couldn’t move, and my body was in what appeared to be a full-body cast. There was an IV drip attached to my left arm, while my right had a window looking out at the beautiful skyline of downtown Salem.

A gentle knock broke the silence of the room as the door creaked open to reveal a pretty nurse as she entered the room. Her face was kind, with her soft eyes widening in surprise upon seeing me awake. Then she spoke with a voice that sounded like the gentle chime of a bell. “Good morning, Vivian, how do you feel?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but my voice came out with a croak. “My... My mom... What happened to her?”

The nurse's face fell at my question, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. “I’m sorry...”

That was all I needed to hear; I knew she was gone. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to steady myself, but I couldn’t halt the steady trickle of tears as they rolled down my cheeks. I felt my chest tighten, my body tense as I held back a sob.

My mom, the one person who had always been there for me, laughed with me and loved me through everything, even when I made mistakes. The biggest pillar of support that I had, was gone. She was no longer of this world.

The nurse's hand gently rested on my shoulder, her touch a soft comfort as I struggled with the anguish that shook my heart. “I know this is hard. Let me know if you need anything.”

All I could do was a weak nod in response to her words as I gritted my teeth in pain. The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile before leaving, closing the door behind her.

I was alone once more, and the silence felt deafening despite the beeps that filled the room alongside the steady hum of other machines that kept me alive.

As I lay in the hospital bed, the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Eventually, I was freed from the casts and could move slightly, but I could no longer walk or move my arms. I had been paralyzed, so all I could do was watch as spring became summer, and summer became fall, then eventually returned to winter once more and my mom's death anniversary came around. I eventually learned that I was in a coma for four months from November to February.

I passed the time by watching cartoons and the occasional romantic comedy on the tv the room had. I listened to music and the rare audiobooks the nurses gave me. I was grateful for the distractions, since without them, I knew my mind would wander down a dark path that would sap my will to live on.

Another year rolled around, and my birthday finally came on November 15th. I had missed my 17th birthday due to the coma, so when I was asked to make a wish and blow out the candles on the cupcake the nurses got me, I made the only wish that made sense to me, since if things stayed as they were now, I would eventually die anyways from wasting away.

“What did you wish for?” One nurse asked.

I just shook my head with a sad smile as I responded, “If I told you, it wouldn’t come true now, would it?”

With that, I closed my eyes and pondered on my wish. If I can be reborn, can I be reborn in a world that I can find happiness in?

A few months later, in early Christmas, a fierce blizzard rolled through, bringing with it a howling wind. The hospital's old powerlines, burdened by the weight of the snow and ice, had finally given in to the strain. The lights flickered, once, twice, and then cut off, leaving the hospital in complete darkness.

Inside my hospital room, the once steady rhythmic tones of the heart rate monitor and the hum of the other machines that kept me alive had all gone silent.

My eyes fluttered open weakly, a faint fear entering them as I realized I couldn’t feel my pulse. I opened my mouth, struggling for air as a silent scream escaped my lips. I had long given up hope of getting better, and I knew this would happen eventually. But even though I was forewarned, it didn’t stop the sense of terror that crept up on me at that moment.

The cold began to seep into my bones as the winter chill crept through the walls. The blankets and hospital gown were not enough to stay warm and the isolation only exaggerated the cold.

The silence stretched out, punctuated by the occasional groan as the hospital's walls resisted the fierce gale outside. The power outage meant that the machines that had kept me alive had ceased their function. The seconds grew bit by bit, turning into a minute, then another.

My mind wandered back to the wish I made on my 18th birthday. It was a wish to find happiness in my next life, a wish to be reincarnated. A wish made from the pure desire to live a life free from the constraints of the world that bound me. And the idea gave me a sense of comfort in these moments.

My breath grew shallower, each one more labored than the last. The edges of my vision darkening, the shadows creeping ever closer. A cold numbness spread through my limbs, slightly different from what I experienced in the accident. The numbness was no longer exclusively physical, but I could even feel it in my very core. I knew, any minute now, that I would die if the power didn’t come on soon.

I heard arguing in the hall the generators were frozen over and they needed more time. Having heard that, I couldn’t help but sigh. A sad, resigned smile tugged at my lips. “I guess... This is it, huh?”

Eventually, the numbness ceased and was replaced with a steady ringing in my ears. I could no longer find the strength to breathe, and knew I was suffocating, dying.

That's when a nurse came in to check on me and took my hand when she realized I was still holding on, but knew the end was near. I smiled weakly at her and mouthed what would be my last words, Thank you. Moments later, death took me, the last thing I saw was the tears in the nurse's eyes as it hit me, she was the same nurse that found me awake from the coma for the first time. A strange thing to remember as I lay dying, but oddly, I found it comforting as my consciousness faded completely.

Not long after, the power was restored, but it was too late. I watched from beside my hospital bed, as everyone worked to bring me back. I was nothing but a soul, an astral body waiting for death’s guide. I walked over to the one nurse who had been with me ever since I came to, and gave her a hug. I knew she wouldn’t feel it, but I hoped my feelings would get through to her now that I’m gone.

I walk out of the hospital room and come face to face with an entity. They had large feathered red wings, fiery red hair, and eyes filled with a radiant flame. It was as if I were looking at a phoenix in humanoid form.

“Are you ready to move on?” It asked in a plain tone. The entity's voice was calm, but its presence was anything but ordinary. There was something ancient, almost primal about it. Its wings stretched out, the vibrant red feathers shimmering like embers in a dying fire, each one alive with its own warmth. The flames in its eyes flickered, illuminating the sterile hallway with an otherworldly glow.

I blinked, still grappling with the sight in front of me. Then I realized that I felt heavy, the memories of my mother, my life, everything I had been through up to this point. As if my soul were bound by the past.

The entity tilted its head slightly, waiting for my response, “Are you ready to move on?”

It repeated itself in a gentle, but insistent tone. It was as though it already knew my answer, and was waiting, as if it were waiting to hear it from me.

Move on. The words echoed in my head, bouncing around in my skull. They were full of meaning, but I couldn’t quite place the specifics of what it meant for me. What does it mean for me to move on? I stared at the being in front of me, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu, as though this moment had been waiting for me all along. Maybe it had.

I glanced at the room behind me, at my body, and the few remaining nurses who stayed by my side, even now. They had been trying to resuscitate me the entire time and had only just ceased their efforts. I saw one shake their head gravely. The heart monitor was flatlining, its shrill, unyielding tone filling the room with its harsh, finality. The nurse, the one who had always been there, was crying softly as she realized that I was beyond saving.

“Is this it?” I asked, my voice echoing softly within the astral plane. “Is there really nothing left for me?”

The entity took a step closer, the soft rustle of its wings almost like a whisper in the quiet. A knowing look entered its eyes. "This life has ended, yes," it said. "But death is not the end. You wished for something, didn’t you? A chance to be reborn in a world where you could find happiness."

I felt my heart lurch at those words. The wish. My 18th birthday. I had made that wish with every fiber of my being, hoping against hope that there was something more for me than the life I had just left behind. A world where I wouldn’t be the nail that sticks out, where I wouldn’t be hammered down just for being different. Where I could live freely, without chains.

"I... I did wish for that," I said, my voice trembling. "But... can it really happen? Can I really be reborn?"

The entity smiled then, a small but radiant smile that seemed to light up the entire space around us. "Yes," it said simply. "If you’re willing to let go of this life and embrace what comes next."

I turned to look at my body one last time, lying motionless in the hospital bed. It was strange, seeing myself like that; so still, so fragile. A life that had been filled with so much pain and struggle was now reduced to nothing more than a quiet, empty vessel. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, and yet, at the same time, I knew that holding on to this life would only keep me bound to the suffering I had endured.

I took a deep breath, though I wasn’t sure if that was even possible in this form. "What happens next?" I asked, my voice steadier now, more resolute.

The entity extended a hand towards me, its fiery eyes locking onto mine. "You step through the flames of rebirth. Your old self will fade away, but your essence, your soul, will carry on. You’ll be given a new life, a new world, one where your wish can be fulfilled."

I hesitated for only a moment longer before nodding. "I’m ready."

As soon as the words left my mouth, the world around me began to shift. The hospital, the nurses, the cold fluorescent lights, it all started to blur, fading away like mist under the morning sun. The only thing that remained clear was the entity, its wings unfurling in a blaze of crimson and gold.

"Close your eyes," it said softly. "And when you open them again, you will be somewhere new.”

I did as it asked, closing my eyes against the swirling light and noise that surrounded me. For a moment, there was nothing but darkness and silence, a vast, endless void. But then, slowly, I began to feel something. Warmth. Light. A soft breeze. The weight of the hospital, the pain of the accident, the fear and loss, they all melted away, replaced by something new.

I opened my eyes.

The world I saw was nothing similar to Earth in many ways, the sky shone blue, and there were swaths of forests, and dirt paths, with people walking down them. It was as though I was seeing Medieval Europe with my own eyes. Yet, something felt... off about it.

There were many creatures I had never seen before, horned rabbits, an armored bear bigger than a tank, a snake so big I could see its head in the tree line. I was sure there were many more mysteries to be discovered.

I soon realized that things didn’t stop there. The world was still shifting around me. I saw small towns, and people going about their daily life. Adventurers laughing and chatting at the tavern. But the thing that stood out most, that drew my eye and all my focus, rendering the beauty of life a moot point? Magic. Magic existed as a part of daily life!

The world shifted again, and I found myself in a dungeon. I saw the various monsters and an adventurer party fighting their way into the depths. Then I saw the boss, a beefy minotaur that stood over 10 feet tall. My journey stopped beside the chest behind the boss, behind that chest was a stairwell that led deeper.

That's when I heard the phoenix man’s voice again. “Here is where you will find your new life.”

And before I could even react, the world went dark. I found myself in an enclosed space, and my body felt weird. I couldn’t move on my own. I turned my gaze up towards the sky and found a thin crack, leading to a dim stoney room. I heard a snort, and a hoof paw at the ground the next moment.

This was the boss's room, and I was in the chest apparently. But, why would I be reborn in the chest? What does this mean?