The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

Wade didn’t interrupt her. He only rubbed her back and kept warm eye contact with her as she spoke. He wasn’t exactly prepared for her story but couldn’t sense any lies in her words. Charlie found it a huge relief to talk with someone who didn’t act like she was crazy for not knowing what was going on. She relaxed as she could finally explain her wild journey to someone that might be able to help her again.

“Then, I walked into that bar where I met you,” She sighed, “You know how it is from there.”

“Identify me, then.”

“What?” She laughed.

“Ask Adiona to identify me.”

Charlie placed a hand on his chest, “Identify.”

Identification spell incomplete at current level. Current identification:

Name: Wade William Everleigh

Race: Human

Class: Pre-attunement

Subclass: Nobility

Level: 15

Racial Abilities: Advanced Regeneration

Charlie repeated the statistics back to him. He smiled and put his hand over hers.

“So, you really might be an angel. This… terrestrial anomaly, was it?” He waited for her to nod, “What is your world like?”

“I don’t even know where to begin to explain,” She sighed, “But there’s only humans. We didn’t have magic. But we had coffee, vodka, and chocolate.”

“We have chocolate here.”

“Thank god,” She sighed contently, “Adi wouldn’t answer for me.”

“You seem to have relaxed,” He patted her shoulder, “How else can I help you, now?”

“I miss my turtle.”

“Then, I will help you find Squirt,” He nodded, “Now, given that the servants of this house are waiting for me to leave the room, is there anything else you want me to know before you meet my sister?”

“For you to stop saying I’m going to marry you?”

“But, my lady,” He felt the dimple in her cheek with his thumb, “I want you to.”

“Even after hearing all that crazy shit?”

“I crave an adventure,” He smirked, “You could use me, you know.”

“What makes you say that?”

“To begin, I’ll sponsor your attunement test.”

Charlie crossed her arms, “It can’t be that much.”

“One hundred gold per person.”

“Jesus Christ – he’s a thing on my world,” She waved his question off.

“Next, as my guest, you’ll be safe here. There’s numerous guards and eyes everywhere. I’ll keep you safe.”

“Okay. What’s the catch?”

“My sister plans to throw a ball to soon. I want you to be my date, officially.”

She narrowed her eyes, “This feels like a trap.”

“You would spend the night on my arm as we drink, dance, and speak with many of the other nobles and businessmen in town,” He shrugged nonchalantly, “If there happens to be romance, then it happens.”

“Okay. As long as you don’t go around telling people I’m marrying you.”

“And… I want a kiss.”

“What?” She laughed.

“I patiently waited for an entire month for you to wake. Plus, after your speech –with horrid breath, mind you—” He chuckled as she scrunched her nose, “Just so you would notice me.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed you,” She laughed, “But why do you want me to kiss you?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said you caught my heart the moment you came to my rescue,” He smiled softly, “But there’s more than that.”

“Oh?”

“To put it simply,” Wade seductively whispered in her ear, “I enjoyed how you unabashedly kissed me.”

Her face flushed at his words. He chuckled and raised an eyebrow at her. A cheeky grin spread across his lips.

“It’s nice to know you blush as much as I do.”

“Fine. You want a kiss?” She quickly pecked his cheek, “There.”

“You know that’s not what I meant. I want what you gave me before.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your full, undivided passionate kiss, but for me. That was what I’ve craved since you fell asleep,” He turned so their lips nearly met, “Do I need to steal one instead?”

Charlie looked at the man in front of her. He was kind, compassionate, and charming. His boyish good looks magnified the softness in his smile and warmth in his eyes. She really only had one thought.

“Fuck it. Why not?”

Wade was taken by surprise when she locked her lips against his. He dreamt of this since she mounted him in the carriage but feeling her with him, her in the moment instead of frantically absent, was even better. As she deepened their kiss, he pulled her onto his lap. The way her body fit against his felt effortless. His hands slid to her hips to hold her in place. Once she pressed herself against him, temptation to do more built inside of him. When the taste of wine from her mouth intoxicated him enough, he grabbed a handful of her hair in his hand. Between each breath, he kissed her harder and she only returned the gesture. When her hands scratched along his scalp and sent carnal signals directly into his soul, he picked her up and carried her to the bed. She placed a hand on his chest with a wicked smile.

“Well, well, well,” The sensual chuckle sent chills down him, “Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?”

Wade panted heavily as his brain tried to remember what he was doing moments before she encapsulated his mind. His hands shook as he hesitated to touch her again. This was not how his parents taught him to treat a lady. He felt like an animal as he towered over her.

“It’s cute how innocent you are, you know,” She whispered in his ear, “I almost feel bad for you. You have a lot to learn.”

“By the gods,” His voice shook, “Teach me anything.”

He held the arch of her back up as he looked down at her. Her arms rested on his shoulders, and her seductive smirked at the flustered man.

“Aw, but he only asked for a kiss,” Her finger traced his jaw, “Too bad I’ve already given him more than he asked for. What a shame!”

“Fuck.”

“Now he’s swearing?” She laughed loudly, “Maybe I should stop teasing you.”

She playfully pouted and held his chin in her hand. His heart pounded in his chest as he looked into her hazel eyes. She ran her fingers through his curly brown hair and childishly tussled it with a smile. He felt as if the world would collapse in alluring mistakes if he didn’t move from her. He rolled to lay next to her and took a deep breath.

“Are you enjoying this?”

“Yes,” She laughed, “The look on your face is priceless.”

“Then, by all means, you know how to get me to make this face. Do it to your hearts content.”

“Tempting, but no,” She kicked herself off the bed, “I need to get dressed.”

As she walked away from him, his eyes traveled to the tattoo on her hip. He wondered if the floral arrangement was one of these tattoos she mentioned or an attunement that attracted people like bees to her. Even when she was asleep, the entire house seem gravitated towards the mysterious woman he brought home.

“Did that do… nothing for you?”

“What do you mean?” She stretched.

“To put it politely,” He cleared his throat and motioned towards his lower half, “I think you felt how much I enjoyed it.”

“Oh, you meant that,” Charlie slyly placed a hand on his shoulder, “Wade, you’re a surprisingly good kisser. I’ll give you that much.”

He grinned mischievously, “Perhaps I’d make a surprisingly good husband, too.”

“Still on that? After everything I just told you?”

“Especially after that kiss.”

Charlie snorted and walked away from him. He hopped up to follow her, but she pointed at the door.

“I can’t get dressed without my clothes. I won’t have those until you let the woman back in.”

“Don’t tempt me,” He teased.

“You wouldn’t know what to do with me, Wade Everleigh.”

“I think I could figure it out,” He put his hand over hers, “If you gave me a chance.”

“Sorry. You’ll have to win me over like any other girl,” She spun the ring off her finger, “Speaking of, give this to your future wife.”

“But she’s standing in front of me.”

“I haven’t agreed to shit.”

A frantic knock hit the door. Charlie sighed and pushed him towards it.

“By all means, go show off that you had your way with me again,” She laughed, “It doesn’t bother me.”

“I am shocked you think I wouldn’t protect your honor,” He feigned surprise.

“I know your plan is to make it seem like I have no choice but to marry you to keep up appearances. Calling me Lady Charlotte and sending your servants out of the room to leave us alone,” She snorted, “But you forget that I don’t, in fact, care.”

“Will you at least wear the dress?” He scrunched his nose, “Pants may be common for women in your world, but… I had that made for you.”

“Why pink?” She groaned.

“It matched the flowers,” He placed a hand on her tattoo, “The clustered ones.”

She blushed but snarkily replied, “Get out, Wade!”

“I’ll see you for lunch,” He grinned, “My family will be there.”

A shy knock on the door was followed by another voice.

“Miss Charlotte and Lord Wade, I’m coming in!”

“Let me know what messages Adiona has left for you,” He winked, “I’ll try to figure out how I can give you one as well.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Charlie,” His serious tone caught her by surprise, “Please, don’t embarrass me.”

“What? Me?” She feigned surprise and placed a hand on her chest, “Embarrassing? I would never.”

“My family caught me in a rather precarious position with you when we first got here,” Wade cleared his throat, “Especially after the dame told them how she found us. They’ve been furious with me since. They know you aren’t from here and don’t know much about our society.”

“But pants and swearing aren’t a part of it,” She sighed.

“If you could give me this favor, I would be in your debt.”

“Fine. I will do my best, but I’m still going to be me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” He winked.

The door crept open, and Cynthia stepped back inside. In her hand was Charlie’s bag. She walked over and snatched it from the woman to look inside. She searched for her mug and saw the cerulean rune wasn’t lit. When she frowned, Wade patted her back.

“The attunement center and most inns are on the far side of the town. They may still be here,” He nodded, “Don’t give up hope yet.”

Wade patiently looked down at her and waited. Charlie knew what he wanted but wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Cynthia, I've decided to wear the dress.”

“Let me get it ready,” The older woman walked towards the dress.

“I can stay to make sure it fits correctly,” He said.

“Lord Wade, I know you’ve taken Miss Charlotte as a lover—”

“We are going to ignore what you were saying about my lady, Cynthia,” He glared at her and lowered his voice, “Or have you forgotten how to treat a guest of the Everleighs?”

“Wade, be nice,” Charlie crossed her arms, “She’s trying to get you out so she can dress me.”

“You are too kind,” The woman curtsied, “But Lord Wade is right. I shouldn’t—”

“I’m not going to let him be a dick to you because you’re trying to do your job,” She laughed, “I’ve been trying to get him out since he got in here. Tell him off, please.”

The shocked woman looked between the pair. He tried not to smile at Charlie standing up for the servant, but it was almost adorable how she staunchly opposed him.

“I am a lord of this house, my lady,” He smirked, “I hope you’ll remember that.”

“Kiss my ass, Wade,” She laughed, “Get out or I’m throwing the dress out the window and wearing pants.”

He sighed and shook his head, “Fine.”

As the door closed behind him, Cynthia let out a sigh of relief.

“Miss Charlotte, do you have a death wish?”

“Just call me Charlie.”

“I cannot do that as long as you are a guest in the manor,” She ushered her towards the dress, “Allow me to assist you. This will take some time.”

After being cinched, pinched, and prodded into the heaviest dress Charlie had ever worn, Cynthia held out shoes for her to step into. The small heel was nothing compared to what she normally wore to work in the bar, but it made balancing more difficult. She walked over from the mirror and sat on the chaise for the woman to brush her growing hair.

“My dye has come out already,” She frowned.

“If you want more, we can always have someone come do it again. The other ladies in the house thought it was whimsical,” Cynthia chuckled, “You were all anyone talked about for weeks.”

“That seems to be a pattern with me.”

“Is it true that Lord Wade proposed to you?”

“Unfortunately,” Charlie snorted, “I’m trying to convince him not to.”

“You remind me a lot of his mother,” She chuckled, “That may be why he enjoys your company. He and the countess are most like their mother in looks, but he has more of her stubbornness. Now, Miss Charlotte, how would you like your hair done?”

“Cynthia, call me Charlie.”

“I can do that in a private place like this, but do not be surprised when none of the other servants refuse to do so.”

She groaned, “Fine. An updo will work.”

“Also, do not be surprised when many of the women in the house whisper as you walk by,” She hesitated, “A good portion has seen a rather rambunctious side of you.”

“Rambunctious… how?”

“Well, upon your arrival, I opened the carriage door and interrupted an… intimate moment.”

“Oh, goody,” She said sarcastically, “That’s where he got that idea from.”

“Lord Wade also removed your clothes very quickly when you entered the manor. A small group of us walked in on him laying you to bed.”

“That pervert,” Charlie held her face in her hands, “Alright. Fuck me, I guess. I can’t go anywhere without a bunch of people seeing me naked.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It seems to be an ongoing pattern when I get gravely injured.”

“Well, those of us there know Lord Wade was kind enough to prepare you for the healers, given the gangrenous wound you had,” Cynthia huffed, “But, you know how rumors are. Someone exaggerates here or there as it spreads. I’ve done my best to correct any such rumor.”

“Thank you, Miss Cynthia, but it doesn’t bother me.”

“It bothers me, my lady! I’ve known Lord Wade since he was a child. Seeing him stay at your bedside or fall asleep sitting next to you was touching.”

“Falling asleep in here?” She whispered.

“He demanded to stay anytime a healer or physician attended to you. The countess had to convince him to leave when we needed to change your outfits.”

“Oh, so the older sister’s seen me naked too?”

“To put it crudely,” She chuckled, “Now, we move on to make up.”

After Charlie was prepared, she stood and walked to the door. The long-sleeved dress modestly covered her arms, but the corset pushed her breasts up to an uncomfortable perkiness and constricted her waist tighter than she would’ve liked. The soft tulle of fabric, instead of a ridiculous metal cage, underneath her skirt gave her enough room to walk freely. She touched the meticulous decorative curls in her sandy brown hair with admiration. Even she had a hard time getting her hair to look that nice. She felt like one of the princesses seen at a Renaissance fare back home.

“If you need help in etiquette, I volunteered to be your tutor.”

“Unfortunately, I’m pretty well versed in what to do,” She sighed, “So I’ll try my best to remember. I just might need pointers at times.”

“Unfortunately?”

“A sore subject, Miss Cynthia.”

“I see. Miss Charlotte, allow me to escort you to the dining room for lunch.”

Charlie followed her into the hall outside of her room. The term “Red Wing” was appropriate, given the scarlet décor on the halls and red rugs against the dark floors. She kept her head high as the inevitable whisperers pulled other servants aside. Ignoring them, she brushed the stomach of her corset and spoke in a soft, practiced voice with Cynthia. That time in debutante training would finally pay off.

As they approached the grand staircase, Charlie felt like the entire building was silent at her arrival. She was thankful that the makeup covered the color of her face as she descended into a beautiful open room that felt like a museum. Most of the servants stopped to bow or curtsy as she strolled pass them. She returned the gesture with a slight bow of her head to acknowledge them.

“You are very kind, Miss Charlotte,” Cynthia whispered, “Most lords and ladies in the house do not treat us so well.”

“I’m a guest on my best behavior. Wa—Lord Wade asked that I do not embarrass him,” She grinned, “I’ll let him do that himself.”