The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

“What about this?” The leopard woman held up an odd combination of leather straps and netting, “This is very popular with the humans who pass through here. It is used to –”

“Nope,” Charlie vehemently shook her head, “I’d like clothes, not a… whatever that is. How would I even wear that?”

When the clerk started to hold it up to her, she took a step back.

“Never mind! Do you have pants?”

“Leonie have no need for pants,” She scoffed.

“A dress? Fabric? Hell, I’ll sew my own clothes if I have to,” She adjusted the large floppy hat Navi bought her, “I’m already crispy from the sun.”

“We have some dresses,” The leopard frown, “Though they may be too big for you. You are a tiny thing.”

Charlie frowned as she looked up. She hoped that only Davon and Navara would be taller than her, but every living creature she passed as they walked through the village had at least two heads of height on her… or was a child. Most just wore enough to cover whatever furry private parts they had.

“Too long? Baggy?” She huffed, “Let me decide. I don’t have many options.”

“Very well,” She sighed heavily.

The leopardess heaved a dusty wooden crate onto her stall’s counter. She blew some of the dust in Charlie’s face before she pried it open and pushed it towards the woman. She stood on her toes as she searched for anything that may work for her.

“Do you need a stool?” The leopardess snickered.

Charlie narrowed her eyes, “Do you need to be so rude?”

“Do you even have money to pay for—”

“Good morning, Miss Veila,” Davon cleared his throat.

“Oh, hello Davonathan. How are you doing today?” She flusteredly changed the topic.

“It’s been an odd day. My mother’s friend is visiting from her pride on short notice. She was robbed on her way to our village,” He motioned to her, “Hence her… appearance.”

“Her… pride?”

“Why yes! Don’t you recognize me?” She caught on to his innocent lie, “In fact, if my leader heard about this—”

“No need for that, Miss Charlie!” Davon bowed his head quickly, “I assure you that Miss Veila meant no disrespect.”

She crossed her arms and pompously raised her chin, “I assumed as much.”

Charlie turned her back to the woman and let her lion tattoo show. The geometric outlined lion was surrounded in a galaxy of pink and purple watercolor. The leopardess frantically moved about her stall with much more hospitable intentions.

“Miss Charlie—”

“You can call me Miss Charlotte. Only my friends can call me Charlie,” She huffed, “I’ll take the blue one.”

“I can make alterations—”

“Not needed. I’ll do it myself. Just send it to Navi’s house,” She grabbed Davon’s extended arm, “Now, let’s meet back up with your mother so we can continue on with our day.”

He chuckled, “Of course.”

As the two walked away from the panicked clerk, Charlie’s shoulders slumped as she relaxed. They discussed the simple charade beforehand if anyone treated her badly, but she hadn’t imagined that it would happen.

“Thank you.”

“Veila is a terrible woman who deserves to be put in her place,” He grinned, “Her son is just like her, and I grew up with him. Glad to help embarrass them in any way.”

“Any more places that sell anything I could wear?”

She looked around the town square. The smell of fresh water came from somewhere nearby, but not in the short walk from their house to the market square. Sand drifted lightly as the sun glared down on top of them. Strings of sparkling lights dangled across tall poles above a cobbled street. She adjusted her floppy sunhat and hid her hungover eyes from the light. The heat from the stone was uncomfortable on her bare feet, but not as uncomfortable as all the predatory stares in her direction.

“Not unless you want armor?”

“Oh jeez. I don’t think I’d need that,” She shrugged, “I’m not much of a fighter.”

Four cubs sprinted at them. She laughed as two jumped at her with tiny playful growls.

“Look at you! So big and strong!” She wrestled the jumping two down, “Where’s your mommy?”

“She stopped at the temple and told us to find you!” The one –she was pretty sure was Yenner—showed his big teeth, “She said big brother Davonathan would get us toys!”

“I don’t think she would—”

“Oh, I’m sure he would be more than happy to take us shopping for some toys. I’ll even help.”

“Yay Miss Charlie is coming!”

Davon wiped a clawed hand down his face, “You don’t even know where we have to go.”

“I’m sure it can’t be that bad.”

“Miss Charlie! Can we play later? Timben doesn’t think you’d wrestle with us!” The one she would have called Timben said, “Yenner only wants to braid your fur.”

“Darr—”

“Rogally,” Davon said under his breath.

“Rogally, I have hair. You have fur,” She pinched the cub’s cheek, “We can do that later. I’m sure we can play after lunch, okay?”

The four cheered and sprinted down the street. He yelled after them to slow down. Though they had the hands of people, most of the Leonie stood on two pawed feet that could quickly spring them forward. Chasing after the cubs felt like a marathon level sprint that she wasn’t expecting to do this early into to her morning.

“I’ve changed my mind. Let’s play a game now!” Charlie yelled after the cubs, “It’s popular where I’m from. I’ll explain the rules!”

They quickly circled back around and hopped in front of her in anticipation of their new game.

“You all know what store you want to go to, right?”

The four eagerly nodded.

“This game is called red light, green light. We’re all gonna start right here,” She drew an imaginary line in front of her, “Davonathan is going to yell green light –and that means you can go forward as fast as you can! Right up until he says red light. Then, you’ve got to stop.”

“What happens if we don’t?”

“If you move at all, even to breathe,” Charlie exaggeratedly took in a deep breath, “Then you have to come back all the way to where I am. You’re all so much faster than me, though, so I imagine you’ll still win.”

“How do we win?!” The one she was pretty sure was Yenner exclaimed.

“You make it there first! Whoever wins will get to sit right next to me at lunch today and get to pick their toy first,” She clapped excitedly before she turned to Davon, “Let’s line up and get ready to play. He’ll call out if he sees you move.”

“Don’t you want to win too, Miss Charlie?” The cub that sounded like Darrish said, “How would you win?”

“Oh, little cub,” She placed a hand in his shoulder, “Games aren’t all about winning. I’m just going to have fun. Now, line up next to me and let’s start!”

The four lion cubs dramatically lowered themselves to a pouncing position. Davon blinked at the woman’s sudden mastery of his siblings and wondered what spells or magic she had over them. Charlie simply pulled her hat against her head and got into a sprinters position.

“You’ve got to keep up too!” She grinned, “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay… green light?”

They took off excitedly and giggled as the passed by unsuspecting bystanders to their game. She took a brisk jog to stay in sight of them as Davon strolled next to her curiously.

“Red light!”

One cub fell to the ground and groaned.

“Back to me!”

The young girl huffed and stomped back to her. Charlie tussled the space between her ears.

“You’re alright. You can catch up, I’m sure. You went so fast.”

“I’m the fastest one!”

She raised an eyebrow and Davon to call again.

“Green light!”

Two of the kids rounded a corner as he called again.

“Red light!”

Rogally quickly closed the distance between them and her litter mates. Darrish and Yenner tumbled down and laughed as they wrestled back to their feet and ran back to stand next to Charlie.

“Green light!” He laughed before shouting again, “Red light!”

All of them stumbled, including their new human friend. The game continued until Timben slammed his hand on a building and roared in victorious excitement. Davon scooped him up as he punched his chest in victory.

“Calm down, tike,” He laughed, “You only won because Rogally and Yenner kept pushing each other over.”

“I still won! Miss Charlie said I could have whatever toy I wanted!”

She tapped a finger to her chin, “I don’t think that’s what I said. I’m pretty sure it’s that you would get to pick first. Besides, Davonathan has the money. You’ve got to ask him if you can.”

As they walked into the store, Charlie quickly realized why Davon wanted to avoid the place. White fuzz of torn stuffed toy floated in the air. Dozens of Leonie kids wrestled about in a pit of rubber balls. Glorified cat wands dangled from the ceiling to entice the children to play. Tiny, yet powerful roars shook the walls as children ran about grabbing at any toy they could find. The whole atmosphere reminded her of a beastly Chuck E. Cheese.

“Miss Charlie! Miss Charlie!” One of the cubs tugged at her makeshift dress, “Will you play with us some more before Mother comes to get us?”

She squatted in front of the girl and chuckled, “If you all play nicely, I can teach you another game from where I’m from. Let’s get your toys picked out first.”

“What all can we get?”

“Well, try not to make your brother too mad at me,” She winked, “You can’t spend too much of his money, okay?”

As the cubs sprinted off, Davon scrunched his snout and eyed her suspiciously. She raised an eyebrow at his scrutiny.

“How are you so good with children?”

“I nannied a bit while my hus—” She cut herself off with a frown, “Before I was a bartender. You learn how to keep kids entertained so they don’t destroy everything.”

“I’ve tried to do that and it never works.”

“I’m new and exciting. I’m sure it’ll wear off,” She shrugged, “They aren’t too rambunctious.”

An awkward silence between the pair passed as childish screams rang out. Charlie laughed as one of the cubs tackled the other.

“It sounded like you were going to say husband,” Davon cleared his throat, “So… you’re married then?”

She said flatly, “Was.”

He nodded politely, “Wel, it might make things easier that way if you ended up here.”

Charlie shrugged apathetically, “I’m still half convinced I’m in some sort of weird fever dream.”

He laughed and pointed at Timben. The cub held a fish toy made from braided rope that was twice his size. The other three tackled him to the ground and wrestled over it.

“That looks expensive?”

“Oh, it is. That’s the display one though. They play with that every time they’re in here.”

“How much?”

“At least a month’s pay at my job.”

“What job?”

“I’m a guard at the dungeon entrance. I have shift work, just like everyone else around here,” He shrugged.

“A dungeon?”

“It used to be filled with monsters that people could train by fighting. They died out a few decades ago. Now it’s just an empty hole in the ground that creatures occasionally sneak into.”

Timben ran up with a smaller version of the rope fish. He bounced excitedly and handed it to his older brother.

“Hmmm… I think I can swing this,” Davon lifted it up by the tail, “Though, you’re pushing your luck.”

He stuck his tongue out as the other cubs ran up to them with other, nearly identical toys. Rogally had a different one that was soft and in the shape of a fat butterfly. Each of them brought their treasure to the tall counter where a tigress smiled at Davon. Instead of orange, the white tiger had tuffs of dyed fur in odd patterns down her arms and chest.

“Hey Davon! How are you doing today? Brought the whole gang?” She picked up the toys and wrapped different color ribbons around them as decorations.

He bashfully nodded, “Yes. My mother—I, well—”

Charlie grinned maliciously when she got a feeling that he may like the woman. She decided to test the theory.

“Davonathan, introduce me to your friend,” She elbowed his side playfully.

“Oh, this is –” He cleared his throat, “This is Strixa. She makes all the toys here. Big hit with the kids, as you can tell. Well, I mean she’s also a—”

“Lovely to meet you,” She held out her hand to shake, “My friends call me Charlie.”

The tie-dyed tigress questioningly furrowed her brow before shaking her hand, “Thank you, Miss Charlie. It is nice to meet you as well.”

“She is visiting from a different pride for now. My mother hopes to introduce her to the water goddess later today.”

“Oh,” Strixa laughed, “That should be fun. I don’t envy you.”

“Why’s that?” She blinked.

“Mmm, I won’t ruin that,” She chuckled, “What are you getting the cubs today?”

His siblings brought different toys and showed them off to Charlie. She oohed and awed at the different toys they came up to her with. She picked up Darrish and held him against her hip as they tossed their treasures on the counter. Strixa flipped over price tags and figured out how much he owed her.

“Six silver, four bronze,” She smiled lightly, “Six even—if I can watch your friend meet the lovely goddess.”

“We’re going after lunch this,” He ran his hand through the back of his mane, “I don’t suppose that you’d…”

“You’re more than welcome to join us,” Charlie winked, “I’ve always liked sharing a meal with new friends.”

She sadly shook her head, “No. I’ve got to make rent this month. You’ll have to tell me how it goes the next time you’re in.”

“I’ll try to stop by more often,” She tossed a braid over her shoulder, “If not, I’ll send Davon.”

“Please do.”

Strixa nicely wrapped a bow on each of the for presents. She lovingly handed them back to each excited cub. Charlie awed as Timben pushed his face into the smaller ropey fish before he bit into it and chewed on it happily. She grimaced at the sharp pointy teeth tearing the rope like it was little more than gum.

Davon gave an awkward goodbye wave and Charlie grinned mischievously. Rogally, Darrish, Yenner, and Timben argued over who got the better toy. He ignored all of it as they left the store.

“So, Strixa’s cool.”

“I’m not talking about her with you,” He frowned.

“What? I haven’t seen any other Leonie with colored fur like that. She seems fun!”

Davon snorted.

“You liiiike her,” She teased, “Admit it.”

“I will admit nothing.”

Charlie watched the cubs run about as they walked towards an open town square. In the middle was a beautiful fountain of a duck playing in a circular, marble pond. Its outreached head sprayed misty water into the air. As they walked into the haze of the square, her robotic secretary chimed in her head to announce the display that popped up in front of her.

You are under the effects of Fountain of Healing.

Fountain of Healing: This duck inspired centerpiece of the market square sprays healing water. Regeneration of health, mana, and stamina is increased while under these affects.

The cool mist felt pleasant against her sunburnt skin. She sighed in relief as it slowly turned into a light tan from the damage fading away. She walked over and sat at the edge of the fountain as it sprayed pleasant water into the air.

“This place is amazing!”

“Its spectacular, isn’t it?” Navara slinked up and sat next to her, “How was your trip? I see the children had fun.”

“We didn’t find much for me to wear, but I got some supplies,” She shrugged, “A backpack, a nice water bottle, and some sandals –but those won’t be done for a few days.”

“Miss Charlie said she could perhaps make her own clothes if she got cloth,” Davon offered, “She may want to join the sewing circles?”

A parade of memories crossed her mind before she shook her head.

“Oh, I’ve done that before. I’d rather not,” She laughed nervously.

“What should we have for lunch then?” Navi clapped her hands, “It’s on me!”

“What… can I eat?” She furrowed her brow and looked around, “I’m not entirely sure.”

“We can get cooked meats over there, some roasted veggies there, breads over here,” He pointed around, “I assume you can eat that?”

“Thank God,” Charlie’s stomach growled, “I’m starving.”

The cafeteria style food market was easy to navigate. Charlie stuck near her Leonie escorts. She asked them about different looking meats and raw produce.

“What do you mean this is Mosmeato?” Her eyes popped at a juicy red meat inside of an odd black-yellow casing.

“It’s a large buggy creature,” Davon grabbed what she thought was a leg and threw it on his face, “Delicious.”

“It’s an acquired taste,” His mother grimaced, “Not one I’ve gotten.”

“Can I try a bite?”

“When we sit to eat, sure.”

Charlie picked up an oddly purple fruit the size of her hand that was hairy like a coconut. She held it towards them.

“Purknuckle,” Navi whispered, “Bittersweet taste.”

She nodded and placed it on her plate. She was immensely happy that there were similar enough foods to what she was used to seeing.

“Zooberry,” Davon said as she pointed to a blue strawberry-esque fruit, “Overly sweet, if you ask me.”

“Chicken.”

Charlie pumped a fist in the air, “Something the same! Score.”

She piled roasted chicken on her plate with an assortment of fruits and leafy greens. Navara and Davon juggled the cub’s smaller plates of what was likely a healthy meal of mostly meat. After the mother purchased all the food, the group sat on the ground near the fountain.

Charlie took a bite of the zooberry and shrugged. It tasted a little sweeter than a strawberry, but not too different. Davon extended a claw and cut a chunk of the Mosmeato and tossed it on her plate. She held it between her fingers, and it oozed a light, shiny green film. She scrunched her nose as she smelled it. It wasn’t rancid, per se, but smelled like three-week-old Chinese food stuck in the back of the fridge. She popped the small piece in her mouth and quickly spat it out. It tasted like what she imagined flattened roadkill did.

“Ugh. I’ll stick with chicken,” She shuddered and popped another piece of fruit to get rid of the taste.

Navi laughed, “I agree.”

Charlie dug her nails into the purknuckle and it reacted like an orange. She pulled the furry skin away to reveal a bluish-black fruit the consistency of an apple. She took a crunchy bite and hummed happily. It was a pleasantly juicy orange-apple flavor.

Just as she started to feel immensely better and not like a hot sack of garbage, a message chimed in her head.

You are no longer under the effects of the following afflictions: Starvation, Dehydration, Veisalgia, Solar Dermatitis.

Current Afflictions: None

“I feel so much better,” She sighed, “Thank you so much.”

A giant squelch from the fountain duck behind them got her attention and the entire market square fell silent. She watched the picturesque blue puddle of water magically swirl around the happy statue until it landed in the water at its feet. Charlie clapped excitedly at the show, but quickly realized nobody else joined her. She questioned her new friends with a look and saw the terror in their eyes.

“What’s wrong?” She whispered.

Navara blinked, “You don’t feel that?”

Charlie got to her feet and dusted her hands off, “No. Should we leave?”

The Leonie around her quickly knelt and she confusingly turned her head back and forth. Davon grabbed her leg and tried to pull her down. She swatted at him as his claws dug into her leg.

“What are you doing?” She whispered loudly.

“Kneel!” He hissed.

“Why would I—?”

Fountain of Healing affects no longer active.