The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

Charlie sat inside of the golden giant with only the blinking light to keep her company. Since she was still recovering from summoning Squirt, she needed the rest the air-conditioned prison offered her in the desert. She wasn’t sure how many hours or days she had been in there, only that it was cramped. The animatronics let her out every once in a while, under heavy supervision. She still saw desert the last time she went out for a stretch.

She often wondered if they were traveling slowly beneath the sand, but her captors refused to answer any questions. It didn’t matter how often she banged on her prison and asked to be let out. She plotted what she could do to escape. She came to an easy solution.

The only thing Charlie could do in her situation was to be as annoying as humanly possible.

“Hungry! Can you get me food now, or what?”

“Anomaly requested nourishment. General-247 approves temporary stop in transportation for Collector-632, Collector-773, Collector-941, and Enforcer-269.”

The generated voices echoed in each robot like a delayed intercom. After the announcement ended, her prison shook violently. She pressed her hands against the rumbling walls until it stopped. The golden mannequin knelt and pressed the button on its chest. The plates opened, and Charlie fell out of the general.

“All others will continue onwards to final destination.”

She was grateful that the inside seemed to be air-conditioned, but there was little room to move around. She got on her knees and slid the bottomless mug off her arm. She first pressed the rune for iced water. She gulped down enough to upset her stomach and poured more over her face. After bringing the cup back down to her chest, she stealthily pressed the cerulean “P”.

“You don’t happen to have any food, do you? I only have water.”

“Approved rations for transportation of anomaly have already been consumed,” General-247’s faceless head stared down at her, “No other food available.”

“How much longer do we—”

“Information confidential.”

“I’ll die if don’t eat.”

“Human-based entities can forgo without food consumption for approximately four days.”

“But I haven’t been properly fed in the past three days! That means less time,” She looked around, “We’re at the edge of the desert. Isn’t there anything there?”

Sickly thin trees poked out of the sandy dirt. They reminded her of birches, but with pink accents instead of browns.

“I’ve never seen such weird trees before. What are they?” She looked up to the general.

“Collector-773 and Collector-941 are granted permission to retrieve edible nutrients from the Ferigor woodlands within a two-mile radius. All others will remain with the anomaly.”

Charlie looked down at her bottomless mug and hoped that Puddles could hear them. She woke to messages of Squirt’s cries and the feeling of immense regret. The only thing she needed was Puddles confirmation that pressing the button gave her a location. It let her know that they could find her.

“Still not up for talking?”

“Communication with the anomaly is limited to confirmation or rejections of requests.”

“Damn, Enforcer-269. That’s just cold,” Charlie chuckled to herself at the metal man’s words, “I thought we were closer than that.”

“Enforcer-269 formally requests permission to reprimand the anomaly.”

“Request denied,” General-247 didn’t hesitate.

Charlie basked in the sun’s warmth as she stalled. She paced awkwardly around the towering, heat radiating beings. The three robots’ faceless masks stared at her with unwavering conviction. She nervously rubbed her hands down her arms.

“So… how’d you guys find me?”

“Confidential information.”

“Okay… I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Am I allowed privacy?”

“Last relief break was three hours ago. Request denied.”

She scrunched her nose, “I’m just supposed to wet my pants, then?”

None of them replied. She looked back to the woods and had an idea.

“You guys aren’t allowed to kill me, right?”

“General-247 will not allow lethal damage to the anomaly until further notice.”

“Well, shit. That’s not scary at all,” She sighed, “Can you at least tell me what you guys are?”

“Request denied.”

“So… Mr. Gold is in charge, Tin men are the bouncers, and doll faces are just a worker bee. Got it.”

Charlie stood and scrapped the sand off of her pants. She twisted her body to stretch as her joints popped. She slid the bottomless mug back up her arm and bounced on her feet. She picked her bag off of the ground.

“General-247 requests information on anomaly’s actions.”

“Oh, my turn!” She slung the bag over her shoulder, “Request denied.”

The general pressed the button on his carapace, “Anomaly must reenter containment.”

New objective: Escape imprisonment!

“Or…” Charlie grimaced, “I’ll just run!”

She sprinted as fast as she could away from them. Sirens blared from each of the automatons as they chased after her. Charlie cursed as she ducked between trees.

“Permission to use lethal force on the anomaly denied.”

“Good to know!” She yelled as she quickly searched for anything to help, “Open map!”

The translucent blue map popped up in front of her. She ducked past a tree to avoid a hand gripping her grey shirt.

“Can you zoom in?” She grunted as she slid under a broken tree.

The map zoomed in to show a lake nearby. Charlie turned to run towards it.

“Electricity and water don’t work well,” She murmured to herself, “Maybe Puddles can summon herself here.”

“Permission granted to use excess force to recapture anomaly.”

She ducked as a whip of electricity cracked a tree next to her, “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

She wiped her hands in front of her face and the map collapsed. She pulled the straps on her backpack harder as she slid between trees to avoid shocks.

Charlie shrieked as something impacted her back. Pain shot up her spine with a sickening shiver and she fell. An invisible force slithered around her waist and a long her torso was like a harness.

You have been hit with “Shackles of Obedience.” Your movement speed is reduced until the spell caster releases it.

“Fuck!”

Denser, thicker woods helped shield her from her captors as she ran for her life. Each step fought against something dragging her back. She didn’t notice the slight incline under her feet as she kept up her pace as much as she could.

A tug on her backpack pulled her back as the metal enforcer slammed its fist towards her. She squealed and slithered from its straps to dodge the attack. A blade slashed against her leg and she turned back to kick at the collector. It swiped again to cut her stomach open.

You are suffering from the condition: bleeding. You will continue to lose health until the bleeding has stopped.

She knew she needed to run and didn’t care where it would take her. She stopped paying attention to anything that would get in her way as she sprinted from them. The only time it became a problem was when there was no longer any ground beneath her.

Charlie screamed as she tumbled from the cliff edge. She plummeted into icy waters of a lake below. The cold water burned against her stomach, but she had no time to think about it. She was an amateur swimmer but could at least stay underwater long enough to lose them. It didn’t matter which way she went, as long as it wasn’t towards them.

You are bleeding.

She kicked and fought against the cold to swim. Once she could no longer hold her breath, she found the surface and gasped in the air. Sirens from the clifftop echoed down to her as a metal tip formed in the golden mannequin’s hand.

“Permission to use lethal damage is granted by General-247.”

The spear cascaded towards her with frightening accuracy. She barely managed to escape as it harpooned into the water. Charlie shrieked and ducked beneath the water to swim with only breaks to breathe on the surface. If they couldn’t see her, they couldn’t hit her.

You are bleeding. You will lose consciousness if the condition is not rectified.

Charlie waited until the sirens were faint enough before she kept her head above water. She panted frantically to regain her breath and looked around her. She swam to the middle of a large lake from the clifftop and had much further to go before she reached the shore.

“Even if I get there, there’s no telling what I’ll find,” She laughed airlessly, “This is probably it for me.”

One hand gripped her stomach wound closed as she floated on her back. The clockwork captors couldn’t be seen anywhere but the sirens were approaching.

“Stay awake. Stay awake.”

She fought to keep her heavy eyelids open. As she floated, she kicked to push herself towards the shore. Each breath caused her to rise and fall in the water.

You have ERROR amount of life points remaining.

“We’ve talked about this,” She chuckled, “At least be less scary when I’m dying, come on.”

You have UNKNOWN amount of life points remaining.

“I wonder if…”

Charlie removed her hand from her wound and slid the bottomless mug off her arm. Her thumb brushed against the normally lit up button that was no longer there.

“No! She’s out of range.”

Small white dots speckled her vision. She looked to the dark taint of the water where she was and shivered. The slowly creeping feeling of sleep crawled against her skin. She wondered if any fish were in the lake that could use her for food.

“What happens to Squirt when I die?”

All soul bound familiars cease to exist when their summoner dies.

“Aw. Poor guy. I hoped he would’ve just bothered Puddles.”

Each kick sent a searing pain into her stomach. The slight cut on her leg was nothing compared to it. She didn’t dare look at the wound because she knew it was bad. That, and she was squeamish about blood in general.

She frowned, “You know, disembodied voice, I should have named you. I’ll think of one now.”

Interface does not need a name.

“Well, well, well. Look who spoke up as I’m dying. Everyone needs a name,” She grunted as her hand caught something in the water, “I think Adiona. She was the goddess of journeys and we’ve had a wild one. Huh, Adi?”

Name assigned. Call “Adiona” for any system requests.

“Perfect,” She winced, “Nice to fully meet you.”

You are bleeding. You have UNKNOWN number of life points remaining. You will lose consciousness if the bleeding condition is not healed.

“I know,” She sucked air between her teeth and reached back, “If you’ve got any ideas, I’m listening.”

When Adiona did not reply, Charlie frowned. Her hand brushed against a soft, warm surface again and she turned in the water. Her feet barely swept the mossy stone floor. The sirens were only a whisper compared to the birdcalls around her. She gripped her stomach with both hands and walked along the lake floor towards the nearby shore.

Charlie struggled when her feet couldn’t hold her weight as she tried to get out of the water. Her blurry vision felt appropriate as her body felt heavier with each step. Her eyelids flittered as she focused solely on getting to dry land.

“Are you alright, young goddess?”

Charlie screamed and fell off her feet into the water. She turned to see a slate blue-grey man stepping from the depths of the water. He was unnaturally handsome with sculpted, muscular features. His pale turquoise hair blended into the water at his chest and his icy blue eyes peered at her curiously.

She turned to face him and kept backpedaling towards the shore, “Who are you?! What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” He curiously looked to the red water between them, “Most of the time a woman comes into my waters, it is to enjoy my company.”

“Well, I don’t need your company. I need help,” She winced as she stumbled backwards again, “So either help or fuck off. I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now.”

“I may be able to help,” The man kept walking towards her, “Don’t run.”

Charlie turned to rest in the shallow water. She kept her wound beneath the surface and faced him with as much confidence as she could muster.

“That’s something a murderer would say,” She pushed the wet hair from her face, “I don’t know you. How do I know you won’t –”

As he got closer, the water level drifted down him. Charlie told herself not to notice the ridiculously toned muscles, but her starry, blurry vision had to focus on something. His melodic deep voice would have calmed her if they had met under different circumstances. The looked perfectly human in every way, despite his complication. As his muscles sharpened towards his groin, she noticed one thing that caused her to look away quickly.

“What the fuck?!” She shielded her eyes, “Why the hell are you naked?”

He laughed, “I’ve lived in isolation for a few years now. Don’t worry. My lack of clothes won’t affect my ability to help.”

“Isolation except for women that want your company, apparently,” She raised an eyebrow at him, “Seems well deserved.”

“I am not shy,” He shrugged, “Show me.”

Charlie did not look at him as she moved further back on the shore. She removed her hands her hands from her stomach as he knelt at her side. He examined he run jury intensely as she ignored his closeness. Her eyes went directly to the sky or to the far distance where the sirens crept closer.

The bitterly cold water helped numb the pain, but it still hurt worse than any physical injury she ever had before. She could feel the blood seeping out and chose not to look at herself. She winced as he moved the scraps of her shirt out of the way to take a closer look.

“You’ve been cut, but not gutted. That’s good.”

“How is that –”

“Your innards are still inside. I could do much less if they weren’t,” He furrowed his brow, “Take off your shirt.”

“Listen here, buddy—”

“If I wanted to take advantage of you, I would just kill you and do what I wanted,” He rolled his eyes, “I’m trying to help. I need something to apply pressure.”

“What a way with words,” Charlie scoffed at him and let him help her take her shirt off.

“You have many attunements, young goddess,” He said plainly as he ripped a large strip of cloth, “I did not know hear of one ascended that way recently.”

“I appreciate your attempt at small talk, but I can’t take you seriously if you’re naked,” She winced as he wrapped the cloth around her, “I’ve had a rough day.”

“Do you need to… talk about it?”

“Well, after you help fix me up, I’ll probably be on the run for a while,” She nervously laughed, “I don’t know if you hear the sirens. Dangerous, deadly things.”

Charlie conveniently left out that they were after her. She didn’t know if this man would turn her in.

“Would you like me to take care of it?”

“No, you’ll probably die,” She grabbed his wrist as he tightened the bandage, “Go back to being naked in the water.”

“Me?” He grinned mischievously, “Do you think me so weak?”

You have stopped bleeding.

“I had some pretty powerful friends that couldn’t take them,” She grunt as he tied a knot in her bandage, “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get back to my friends, but I have no idea where they are.”

His skin wasn’t as slimy as she thought it would be, as it looked like frog skin. Up close, it appeared he had tiny, closely packed scales like a fish on forearms, lower legs, and chest. The rest of him she willingly examined were still made of flesh like hers, only the same color as his scales.

“Do you have a way to communicate with them?”

“Shit!” She looked at her arm, “My mug. I couldn’t reach them from up there.”

“When did you lose it?”

“Swimming, I guess,” She rubbed her hands down her face, “Fuck. She’s going to be pissed at me.”

“Who?”

“No offense,” Charlie scrunched her nose, “But I can’t tell you everything about me. Especially if you aren’t wearing pants.”

“I wondered what you might be the goddess of,” His charming laughter filled the air, “My guess is it has to do with comedy.”

The curious man leaned over her and studied her soft features. She twitched as he reached out to move the wet hair from her face. He tucked it behind her ear and let his hand linger longer. Charlie stared into his icy blue eyes that reminded her so much of her late husband.

It felt like years since he had looked at her like this or even done something so sweet. She realized how much she missed it as he brushed his thumb across her cheek. If they had met at a bar, she probably would have gone home with him with his looks.

With that thought, she blushed hard enough that her entire face turned red.

“Anyway,” She crawled out from under him, “I should really be going.”

Charlie tried to stand but quickly fell before the man caught her. He threw her arm over his shoulder and held her up. It was an awkward angle for her arm because of their height difference. She tried to wriggle away from him but quickly dropped to her knees. As he pulled her back up, she tried to throw him off.

“You cannot run in your shape. Let me help you.”

“I can’t just—”

“You’re in pain and cannot walk properly on your own,” He swept her up in his arms, “I’m going to help you.”

“I can’t help you fight them,” She winced but acquiesced, “We’ve got to get away.”

“If you won’t allow me to fight them, then I have another suggestion,” He looked over the water, “But, you will have to trust me.”

“Does it involve you doing something weird?”

“Perhaps.”

“Well, I guess that’ll be fine as long as you keep that—” She pointed downwards, “—to yourself.”

“I’ll do just that,” He laughed again, “Now, follow me.”

The man to enter the bitterly cold water and let her feet touch the ground again. He chuckled at her physically relaxing when his groin was fully covered again. As they got further into the lake, the sirens of the clockwork captors closed in. Once the water reached her shoulders, he turned her towards him.

His hands found her hips and pulled her closer to him. “I am going to kiss you now.”

“What?! Why would you –!”

He pulled them underwater. As she thrashed about to get away from him, he grabbed the back of her head and his lips to her neck. With only a small peck, he pulled away and studied her reaction.

You are under the effects of the spell “Waterbreathing.”

Charlie felt her neck slice open as gills pulled water into her. After she caught her breath, she touched her neck to feel them. The man held her in place as her momentary panic calmed. Water slowed her slap to a pathetic bump. So, she started shouting at him under the water, much to his amusement.

“Stay here,” His voice echoed in the water, “I’ll be back.”

“Where the hell do you think you’re—”

“They aren’t after me, remember?”

She shouted, “You can’t just do that!”

His turquoise hair floated around him as he silently shook his head. Charlie noticed the slight web in his hand as he grabbed hers.

“Come. The deeper in the lake you go, the safer you’ll be.”

“Yeah, sure. Lure me into the depths of the lake where you’ll murder me when I least expect it.”

“Or, where you’ll be safest while I take care of whatever is hunting you?” He shook his head, “Are you always this distrustful?”

“Of naked men? When I’m this sober? Absolutely.”