Book 1 Ch 3: System Fakery
To be fair, my mind was still a little bit fuzzy so I couldn’t quite recall the country that I lived in or the name of the company where I worked but I put that down to the amnesia gas that must have been used to get me in the Escape Room. I sure hoped I signed a medical waiver on that.
I was drinking a cup of buckwheat tea when…I fell asleep. Must have been working too hard in my mining job or just not enough sleep. That was what the bakery was for though, a place to take some time out of my day and just be myself for a while.
I had a private room built in the back of the bakery, so I had a choice of sitting in the café area in the front or choosing a delightful book and sitting by myself to have some personal space. Work was hard and through my efforts I thought I deserved a small place of my own removed from the world for a while.
Memories?
Wow, I must have been super strained to fall asleep. Waking up at 5 am daily wasn’t that sustainable then. Not even the power of expresso coffee could solve that. Caffeine wasn’t always the answer. Who knew?
‘Do you offer refreshments during the whole Escape Room experience? I can keep talking all day, even if you’re not allowed to respond to me. Given the nature of the room, afternoon tea would be nice.’
My work kept me busy. Technically I was a miner, in actuality, I was in charge of all the autonomous devices that did the mining work. Repair, coordination, and control. Leadership wasn’t a big deal when your robotic slaves had no choice or just weren’t self-aware to protest.
Deciding that knowing my name right now wasn’t of maximum importance I pondered my own background. I was aware of so much more of my life so why did it matter if I didn’t have a word that I was called?
My memories?
‘I don’t like coffee. Just to make that clear. Cake and buckwheat tea, I guess milk tea if you have no other choice but make it slightly sweet.’
I loved my work though; it turned out that Mining had a lot of depth to it. Sorry for the bad pun. Oldies but goodies are always popular, and I was showing my age. Which wasn’t as old as I imagined, youngish in an early thirties sort of way. I found it fascinating and loved the topic of mining.
The background of modern technology depended on what you could dig, refine, and process from the ground or even the ocean. Space was likely to be the next best place to start mining, but it was unlikely to be in my life that would be something in which I’d be involved.
It does sound fun though, in my spare time I played a few video games where you would fly around in a spaceship mining asteroids for metals and minerals. Pretty fun stuff but not a realistic option for a lifelong career, not with the level of technology that we had available.
What's wrong with my memories?
A small part of me still craved that adventure though, to travel and experience new places while making money. Space is an opportunity for any aspiring miner who wants to strike it rich, all those asteroids floating around just waiting to be dug up, full of valuable minerals.
Ever since I had a kid I had loved to dig in the ground and hoard types of rocks. One time I was digging in a playground, went straight through the sand to these concrete slabs and then under that were even more types of rock. I felt like I had been searching for lost treasures and fossils that had been buried deep in the ground.
I needed to have my toy excavator do the work for me though, I also had a rotary excavator that you turned the handle to make the dirt and rocks go along the conveyor belt towards my little dumper truck.
I’d spend the entire day outside in the dirt just digging and sorting out the several types of rocks. Ah, happy memories to lose myself in. Drawing my attention back to the present and the escape room that I found myself in.
‘So, what else is in here? Is the timer running now?’
A bunch of hidden clues, timed activities and a voice telling us how long we have left to finish our allocated tasks. The others in my group might be in rooms adjacent to each other and first, we’d need to escape our room before getting together to complete group tasks in larger rooms. For all, I knew this place could be the size of a large warehouse, Escape Rooms were a pretty popular trend at the moment.
‘Hello!’ I called out again, this time hoping to get a signal at least or a countdown timer flashing on the wall. No such luck.
A complete lack of response didn’t deter me, so I tried again. I found that my voice echoed slightly in this place. An odd sensation although it would have helped create a creepier atmosphere.
‘Hello, anyone around? I’m going to start the experience now.’
I wasn’t sure if it would be good or not if someone called out ‘Yes!’ and they had been hiding behind a bookshelf. Even worse than if they were dressed in either make-up or an outfit designed to scare me.
No, the scariest story that I’d ever read involved a single box on a table in a locked room. This situation was slightly surreal but not scary in the sense of the word.
‘Yo, yo, yo. I’m awake and ready to start now?’
Yeah, one of the subtle mind tricks. I worked by myself most of the time unless it was to deliver either reports to Head Office or report to my manager. Isolation wasn’t healthy for a person, not like this.
Escape rooms where you pay money and go with a group of strangers because you have no friends. Sad but true. It might not have been the right question to ask at the time. Friends were something I had in abundance. My head was a little bit fuzzy from waking up, but my body felt fine. I tried one more time raising my voice and almost shouting out.
‘Anyone here? Even give me a knock on the fake walls would be great.’
With no verbal responses, I gave up calling loud and focus my energy on other tasks. It would be a good choice to be physically active while I still felt fresh after my brief sleep or nap. My brain would be fully energised and ready to take on the challenges of this room and then I’d be at the end of my little break and back to my work and normal life.
‘…fine. I totally get that you need to keep me fully immersed. You can tell my manager that it’s not a funny prank to play though.’
The place was empty at this point. Staff monitoring the room were on a lunch break or the timer was running, and I wasn’t able to leave yet unless I had worked out the hidden secret passage of the room.
Time to get up and take a quick stroll around the room. Stretching out my legs to make sure that I wouldn’t suffer from any cramps I felt rejuvenated somewhat. There was a low humming noise though somewhere in this room, not quite the sound of electricity but certainly something similar.
Sofa, stools, tables, lamps, bust statues and plinths, old paintings of probably rich people. All check. A grandfather clock. Check. Bookshelves filled with books about whatever people read a long time ago or fake books and…wait. That’s not right. Too modern.
There was a small desk in the corner of the room, and on the desk were a computer, screen, keyboard, and mouse. It had a pretty large screen considering the size of the desk. In front of the desk was a modern-style office chair, it did not match the rest of the antique furniture in the room.
‘Yeah, I know the sound of my voice is getting annoying now but really, technology combined with old furnishings. The whole experience is ruined now. I’m disappointed in the Escape Room designer team. Hello?’
I walked closer to the computer and sat myself on the office chair and moved the mouse so the monitor activated. Given that nobody felt like talking with me, or rather they were restricted from doing this would the first of my many clues to get out of this place.
The screen flashed before it turned on. It was a blank black screen with some green flashing text. That reminds me of a film I once saw. Better not be any rabbit jokes about smelling ashes.
The contents of my stomach was settled enough that I wasn’t feeling any sense of hunger or thirst yet. I gave a brief thought to the fact that this could be a virtual reality set-up instead. Plug and play. Nah, not worth the cost.
->Are you awake yet?...
?Enter Response:
There were no cables from the computer to anywhere else in the room, the mouse and keyboard were both wireless. The computer had been active earlier and remotely turned on from outside. This must be a vital clue, first establish the degree of your intelligence and then set you up with the first of many tasks to take.
At least this beat working in the company. As much as I loved mining, working with mining drones, software and machinery got boring, I needed stimulation. Guess I should have been clearer when I filled in the last training request survey given to me from Human Resources.
Who knew that filling in a whole bunch of question marks would get me such a result?
A glowing message prompted me from the computer screen. I figured that it was nice of the Escape Room staff to take the initiative, time for me to play along a little in my role as escapee.
->Are you awake yet?...
?Enter Response:
I opted to go with the general flow to get my first real clue about escaping from this room.
?Enter Response: I’m awake. Need buckwheat tea. Stat. Or even coffee, no low-quality grades though. Awake! Awake!
->Please wait….please wait…Searching: 23%...45%...78%...100%
->Awareness Test Complete. Transfer process errors mitigated.
What was that meant to mean?
More text appeared on the screen below the existing text. This was a program that was running and providing responses. Or someone was sitting remotely replying to my typed words. Yeah, like an Escape room company was going to pay for the services of a super chatbot. Easier and cheaper to pay for a human to sit there and pretend instead.
‘This Escape Room is pretty fun! Do you need me to type more, is that how you’re allowed to show me the clues?
->This is not an Escape Room.
?Enter Response: ??? :P
‘Really. Well that explains everything. Do the cameras turn off now and I get a surprise party thrown in my name?’
I wanted to have a little bit of fun before they got all serious trying to get me in the mood. Every place like this tried for a fully immersive experience.
I’m fairly sure that it is an Escape Room. Must be a microphone embedded in the screen to pick up sound or my voice. No camera on my side though.
Easy enough to verify. This was a game and rules should be followed. I typed back.
?Enter Response: Can you hear me when I’m talking aloud?
->Yes. Visuals are also available. Repeat. This is not an Escape Room. Please remain calm. There was an incident in the bakery that you owned. You will need sufficient time to adjust according to standard protocol. Prototypes are still being evaluated and will engage you.
That’s not funny.
‘Hey! That’s not funny at all! This Escape Room is meant to be fun. Fun! Oops, let me type that in. Sorry, sorry!’
?Enter Response: Not funny. Can you give me my first clue now?
At least this time, I knew that an actual human was listening to me with a hidden microphone and camera. I waved in the air in a random direction hoping that it would be picked up and someone was sighing on the other end.
If I knew anything it was how to make a minor nuisance of myself and get reactions, I never said that I wasn’t embarrassing or annoying though. They surely got paid for this so they must have experienced worse than me. I wasn’t even naked this time, that’s a joke. I only got naked for showers. Usually.
I felt slightly better for it at least, less so that they had drugged and kidnapped me for fun and giggles. Getting my psychological edge would let me treat the situation with a dose of humour and despite the fact I didn’t get a kick out of reading or watching scary stuff I knew that everyone needed a defence mechanism, and this was mine. I waved again this time in another random direction while smiling like a total unknowing idiot.
At least I certainly hoped that it wasn’t going to go down the lines of an escape room horror film where a maniac had locked me up for fun. Quickly checking the ceiling and corners one vital clue that made me feel more satisfied. There were no visible air ducts.
Reading back the last words on the screen made me feel marginally concerned. Huh. After mouthing them aloud it wasn’t as funny.
->…
->…
‘Hey, hey, give me my clue! Ah, a locked room mystery and I’m the victim, right?
->…
?Enter Response: Dot. Dot. Dot. How do you like it? Yeah. Dot. Dot. Dot.
I’ll admit I could be petty at times when I got fed up. One of the reasons that I wasn’t totally suited to working with other people. I was bored though. Text interface was only fun when it was in a broader context.
In no way was this scary or engaging for the purposes of this Escape Room scenario.
?Enter Response: Why. Isn’t. This. An. Escape Room?
No further text had appeared despite my efforts at entertainment though. Odd. May as well tackle the situation head-on through to work out what’s going to…wait. What in the twenty underworld hells is that word meant to mean?
‘Wait a moment, what incident in the bakery? As a clue it’s pretty vague. Can you offer me anything else? No?’
?Enter Response: Give me more clues pls. Pls. Pls. Pls. ;;;; }:)
‘Fine. Then I’ll use my brain. You can send a message if I’m ready for the next clue. Or even say hi. I’m not a monster.’