The Man’s 101st Bad Ending

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

There are things that are cold and bitter. And there are things that are warm and gentle.

If one had to describe this woman named Adriana, perhaps she leaned more towards the warm and gentle side.

A woman who made it difficult for others to utter harsh words, instead making them smile.

Innocent and guileless, yet not foolish.

Despite embodying purity as a saint, she never swayed from misguided temptations.

Thus, one could say she was noble.

Through experiencing countless lives, that was the impression I had formed about the woman called a saint.

So pure and noble that not a single flaw could be found…

“Children, don’t pull on my hair… it hurts…”

Surrounded by children, endlessly tormented – it was quite different from the image I had held of a saint.

How should I put it? Perhaps it was most fitting to call it trivial.

Even as they tugged and yanked her hair this way and that, she laughed like a fool and seemed to enjoy being with the children.

And yet, from moving various loads, her clothes were covered in dust, her cheeks and forehead smudged with grime.

Perhaps I had been mistaken in thinking of her as a noble saint.

However, I became convinced that no one suited the name of saint better than Adriana.

It was not because she possessed holy powers that others lacked that she was called a saint, but perhaps it was precisely because of that personality that she had been chosen as one.

Seeing that sight stirred quite a peculiar feeling in me, prompting me to avert my gaze from the saint mingling with the children.

I was helping out in place of her, as she had sprained her ankle and could not move freely, but I began to wonder if I should really continue staying here.

Wouldn’t my presence here somehow ruin the atmosphere?

I was assisting her to repay the favor of healing my neck wound last time, but no particular connection seemed to form between the saint and me.

At this rate, wasn’t I just wasting time?

Such a cold thought suddenly crossed my mind, but it soon dispersed at the voice that came from beside me.

“You were here alone.”

In the setting sun, her hair was dyed red, the platinum-colored waves now tinged with a murky hue.

And yet, it remained clear.

Even with her eyes closed, a pristine aura seemed to envelop her.

“How did you know I was here?”

“The children told me you were under the tree.”

I can get anywhere around here without looking – she added with a laugh. Then she plopped down on the spot, hugging her knees.

Glancing around, I realized it was quite a pleasant scenery.

As if paint had been splattered, the sky dyed red by the sunset disappeared beyond the horizon.

An unusually not-so-hot breeze rustled the grass, with a lone willow tree towering overhead.

Such a scene.

The children were gathered together doing something, so it seemed Adriana had quite a struggle extricating herself from that group.

As I stood there in a daze for a moment, Adriana parted her lips with a small laugh.

“How is it? I can’t see, so I only feel the brightness.”

“…Well. It’s just ordinary.”

“That’s a lie. Louis loves it here so much.”

Pointing in the direction of the children’s laughter, she briefly reached out her hand towards the sky.

As if trying to grasp something, she waved her hand in the air, then let it fall limply again with a thud.

“Children see so many things. Not only because I can’t see, but sometimes they tell me in more detail than adults do. Even though they haven’t learned much yet.”

“That does happen at times.”

“Louis always came here to watch the sunset. He said it was red, but I didn’t know what red was, so I couldn’t react. So I always wondered. Is the color red pretty?”

Her closed eyes turned towards me.

It was not that she wanted consideration. She seemed genuinely curious if it was pretty.

There is a color that can only be seen at this time.

The time when the sun sets and the moon rises, the brief moment when day and night overlap.

Out of the 24 hours in a day, could this color be seen for even 10 minutes?

The blue sky was dyed red at the edge of night.

As if to pour out all its remaining light, the sun, brighter than at noon, emitted a final burst of crimson before vanishing into the night.

Thus, only the twilight of day, visible at last, could be called the sunset.

Unable to fully express in words the appreciation she desired, I merely muttered briefly.

“It’s beautiful. Very much so.”

“Is that so… I want to see it too.”

Adriana smiled with a look of relief. Then, after gazing at the sunset for a while, she opened her mouth as the light slowly faded.

“Actually, these children… They’re not the kind you’d easily see around here.”

“Is that so?”

“These children came from the south. Do you know of the existence of wizards, by any chance?”

“There are many magical items too. I’m aware of them.”

Wizards – how could I not know of their existence?

It was just a bit strange for the word wizard to come up while discussing children.

Adriana added that she was not talking about ordinary wizards like that.

“The southern region is a place where the empire’s influence has not yet fully penetrated. Perhaps because of the great forests or different races that exist there, it remains undeveloped and is practically a lawless zone.”

I was aware of that much.

But the south and wizards – they were quite mismatched words.

Yet it was not that nothing came to mind.

As she said, the south was a place where the central empire’s influence barely reached.

As such, it was a place overflowing with various folk beliefs, and thus occasionally, there were those who engaged in acts that people might mistake for magic.

To the empire’s people, they may appear like wizards, but they held far more brutal ideologies.

“Don’t tell me, they were victimized by shamans…”

Adriana seemed momentarily startled, then carefully nodded her head after confirming the children were not listening.

“As you know, being a saint, I can’t help but be sensitive to things God does not permit. These children are the ones I rescued some time ago.”

“…So that’s why they’re here.”

“It operates under the name of an orphanage, but in reality, I’m simply taking care of children who were victimized by shamans. Even though they’re smiling now, each of them probably carries a scar, don’t you think?”

Shamans considered offering sacrifices to something as part of their rituals.

They were carrying out the practice of offering sacrifices to summon the gods or spirits they believed in.

In other words, they were kidnapping children, whom they considered the best sacrifices.

…If Adriana had not noticed, they all likely would have died.

Perhaps aware of that, she gazed in the direction of the giggling children with a slightly gloomy expression.

Then, as if recalling something, she smiled faintly to herself and moved her lips.

“Don’t tell anyone else that I talked about this. Actually, it’s something I shouldn’t tell just anyone. You understand, right?”

“I have no intention of telling. I’ll just… keep it in mind.”

“That’s a relief, then. Actually, I told you knowing you’d respond that way.”

The sun had nearly set now, and the surroundings gradually began sinking into darkness.

Adriana gazed at the empty air, hugging her drawn-up knees.

She must have realized the sunset had disappeared by now. And that it was time for her to return.

But as if still lingering with regret, she did not seem inclined to get up readily.

Her ankle should have healed completely by now, but she let out an “Ow-” and glanced at me.

“You’re still there, right? I don’t hear any sound.”

“I’m here. I plan to stay here until you get up and leave, at least.”

Perhaps reassured by my gentle voice, Adriana gazed at me intently for a moment with a faint smile.

In the dimly remaining light, her face was illuminated, and for a fleeting instant, the dust on her cheek caught my eye.

It seemed to have been there for a while, but apparently the children had not particularly told her.

Naturally, Adriana was unaware of that fact.

She simply launched into a lengthy explanation of how kind the children were, then, as if exhausted, plopped down and began describing the children one by one.

Hans, Cato, Louis, Ellin… After listing their names, Adriana caught her breath and continued.

“The children seem to have taken quite a liking to Lord Taylor. It’s probably the first time a noble has helped them out.”

“Come to think of it, isn’t the saint here too? They don’t seem to realize that, though.”

“I don’t like being called a saint.”

At that moment, the last remnant of light vanished, and night fell.

Instead of the sunset, a pale moon; instead of the reddened clouds, stars took their place and shone brilliantly.

Her glistening hair had darkened a bit, but my eyes narrowed at the fleeting glow that passed by.

It was around then that I realized she had opened her eyes.

Gray eyes, their color faded, eyes that reflected nothing, were gazing at the sky.

With a slightly sorrowful look in her eyes, she continued.

“I prefer the children remembering me as just a close sister or older friend, rather than as a saint. It’s awkward for both of us. If they call me a saint, it becomes uncomfortable, and there have been too many people like that.”

“A friend…”

“Miragen is my friend too, but because of our relationship as saint and princess, we can’t meet often. The last time we met on her birthday was after a whole year.”

The glow that had dazzled my eyes disappeared from her eyes, now closed again.

Her expression had darkened a bit.

As if she felt guilty for saying such things.

“Sometimes… just sometimes. I wondered what it would have been like if I weren’t a saint. If I could see, if I could have just lived as friends with peers my age. What it would have been like.”

There was no answer I could give her.

I would simply listen in silence until she had poured out all she wanted to say. What could I do for a woman called a saint?

I did not know her well.

We had only met by chance in this run, a mere coincidence.

But… I could understand that feeling.

If I had not regressed, before that.

Hadn’t I imagined what it would have been like if I could have steered all my conduct in the right direction?

“It might seem a bit pathetic. For someone called a saint to be like this…”

“I don’t think that way.”

My tone was firm. There was someone else who deserved to be called pathetic.

Compared to me, who had been trying to repeat endless regression, unable to let go of lingering attachments, couldn’t one say Adriana was plenty admirable?

I wanted to add something, but no words came to mind.

I approached Adriana, deliberately making noise with my steps so she could fully sense my presence.

Realizing I had come to her side, Adriana turned her head.

“Lord Taylor?”

“…Let’s go. Isn’t it time for you to return?”

“Huh?”

As I grasped her hand that had been sitting still, Adriana flinched for a moment, then lightly clasped my hand.

I pulled her hand and helped her to her feet.

Once standing, she let go of my hand and bowed her head to me. She seemed to have realized it was time to leave now.

“You’re right. I should go now.”

The children’s laughter had also ceased at some point.

Her tone was clearly tinged with regret as she said that, prompting an unbidden smile from me.

“You smiled again.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I think you just smiled a little.”

Was she sensitive to such things?

I was a bit surprised she had noticed my smile, but I denied it and looked in the direction of the children.

“I think I should get going now, but shouldn’t you say goodbye to the children before leaving, Saint? You go first. I’ll head back as is.”

“The children will be disappointed.”

“…It will be difficult to see them often. I have my own matters to attend to.”

“I’ll be disappointed too.”

For a moment, I did not comprehend what she had said.

By the time my expression had contorted strangely upon realizing the meaning of “I’ll be disappointed,” Adriana began moving away from me with a nonchalant expression.

Taking a few steps back, she waved at me in farewell.

“See you next time. I don’t know where we might meet, but I have a feeling.”

Her tone sounded as if she was certain we could meet again next time.

As if, since we met this time, we would definitely meet next time. I did not respond.

I shook my head slightly, but she would not have seen my movement.

Opportunities to meet the saint were rare. I could not be certain she would come here again next time.

Access to the cathedral and ascending the Moon Tower was limited to a select few. I could try to be among them, but it would likely take a long time.

I thought it would be difficult to meet her. Unless this was truly fate.

I merely watched blankly as Adriana headed across to where the children were.

Only silence remained where the light had vanished.

Even the moon that had been so bright just moments ago was now obscured by clouds, leaving only a cold shadow.

Isn’t it amazing?

Just one person disappeared, yet the surroundings felt so empty.

All that remained was the impression that she was a woman mysterious in many ways.

Instead of the pure and noble saint I had imagined, the impression Adriana left was… that of quite an enigmatic woman.

“…Shall we go?”

After standing still in that spot for a while, I slowly began walking towards home.

Erasing the lingering thoughts about a certain woman still in my mind.

The dust that had remained on her cheek felt strangely irksome.

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇