The Man’s 101st Bad Ending

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I hated rainy days.

Whenever I recalled the day I died, it was a day when the rain poured down as sorrowfully as could be.

The sound of rain in that damp, humid, and suffocating space tended to stir up emotions I had forgotten.

Listening to the rain coming from somewhere, I reflect on my situation.

I tried but failed. The fact that I ultimately could not achieve the goals I set for myself does not change.

How many times was it? I lower my head as I try to recall the number.

I know well it’s useless to count now.

This life was a mess. How many times has it not been a mess?

Suddenly, as I lean my hand against the wall, a cold chill assailed me.

Caressing the stone floor that exhales all its winter chill upwards without concealing it, I soon realize I have lost feeling in my feet.

Frostbite, I thought why didn’t I get it, but it seems I already had it.

Wincing from the stinging pain, I plopped down on the spot.

It’s been about a week since I was trapped in this cramped room, too small for even sitting and standing to be comfortable. Around this point, I gradually realized my fate.

I thought maybe this time I would die here.

With not a single window, it was quite difficult to keep track of time in this utterly dark room.

If it weren’t for the meal that came once a day, I wouldn’t have known.

Since the plate came 6 times, it’s been 6 days. If I get one more plate, it will be exactly a week.

Twisting my uncomfortable body this way and that, I let out a small laugh at the footsteps I eventually hear from above.

“You’re finally here. I thought you were going to starve me for a day.”

The creaking wooden plank sound stops for a moment.

Having heard my voice, the two sets of footsteps gradually quicken until they reach right in front of me.

“How brazen of you. Or do you really not know the sin you committed yourself?”

A woman opened her mouth from the darkness.

Even within the pitch-black veil, her piercing blue eyes shone brilliantly with a flash, assailing my whole body like a winter gale.

“How about being grateful that I let you live for a whole week? Just facing a person like you is so repulsive, how grateful should you be for me being so generous?”

An inexplicable laugh escapes me at her look of utter disgust, as if viewing an insect.

She really has never changed. No matter what I did, no matter how our relationship changed.

Her eyes always gave me that cold gaze when it came to the end.

She tells me to be grateful that she didn’t kill me right away, but that piercing look makes my shoulders flinch despite wanting to retort.

“…Your fiancée came to see you. Why don’t you two exchange some greetings? It may be the last time, after all.”

I still cannot see into that darkness.

Only the other voice pouring towards me lets me know that the one standing before me was my former fiancée.

“Robert.”

The sweet voice that once told me it loved me had transformed into a bleak tone thorned with malice.

If asked where it all went wrong, it was probably due to my life of floundering in desperation to live.

“I regret every single day I spent with you.”

It was a phrase I had heard dozens of times, so it no longer pained me.

“If only I could erase the memory of being with you. Do you know my life became a mess after meeting you…?”

“Well.”

“I melted down all the rings and necklaces you gave me. Why did you come to me, why did a person like you come to ruin me? Just why—!”

My heart had already frozen over, leaving no room for new wounds.

I silently listened to her words, gazing at the small vial placed before me.

Even in this darkness, the vial shone brilliantly.

As if it were the antidote to end all this, the vial emanated a palpable presence that gradually put my mind at ease.

Poison this time, huh?

It would be better if it just killed me instantly,

As I raised my head, my gaze met the cold stare of the Duke who held my sobbing fiancée.

Seeing the look of hatred and loathing towards me, I slowly picked up the vial.

“This, will I die immediately if I drink it?”

“…So you know what it is. It’s a pity to waste such precious poison on a vile being like you, but I hope you can at least atone through death.”

Seeing he doesn’t hide it, the Duke must be well aware of this too.

He may be my father, but why would he care about a troublemaker like me?

As I opened the vial’s lid, a fragrant almond scent wafted out. I had experienced this before.

Last time I took the antidote and didn’t die, but this time my life will end by the poison.

Am I relieved? No, how could I be.

But now it’s all pointless.

Even if I try to go on living now, I’ve realized my destined end is this wretched death.

100 times – the number of times I’ve died, the number of times I struggled to live.

Feeling the drug coursing down my throat, I close my eyes. A warmth spreads through my chest.

My heartbeat quickens, and I sense my circulating blood advancing towards death.

A searing sensation coils beneath my neck, and I cough it up.

The substance on my hand is a viscous, sticky liquid. It was easy to recognize as blood.

I suppose I’ll die.

Perhaps my body had already collapsed, lying on the cold ground as death approached.

The chilly, frosty sensation dulls my senses.

And rather amusingly, the Reaper’s voice that always comes when facing death…had such a melodious tone.

[You have met the 100th Bad Ending.]

[What you wish for is improving all relationships, and a life without a single regret.]

[Before starting the 101st loop, I will ask you.]

[Do you truly still wish for the same thing?]

This Reaper who finds me before death has been quite kind to me.

It rewinds time for me until I achieve what I so desperately desired.

Even if my life was tainted by sin, after dying once, time would always revert to a point before I had committed any sin.

Listening to that voice, I ponder.

Do I want to live?

Can I endure dozens more deaths, those cruel and ruthless gazes towards me?

Am I prepared for that now? I’m sick of it. I can’t take it anymore.

No matter what I do, to them, my existence will be lower than an insect. So what is the point of experiencing countless more lifetimes?

Before starting the 101st life, the only request I made in my fading consciousness was for this tedious reincarnation to end.

That the next thing to come would be eternal rest.

[The 101st loop will begin.]

That crisp voice in my ear felt crueler than any demon’s.

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