The Love They Never Had

"My Lady? How may I be of service to you?" "I would like to invite The Young Master Nam to dine with me for breakfast, but I can see that he is not in the guest chambers that I made up for him?" "This is because he is currently having breakfast with his fiancé after staying the night…" "Staying the night? What do you mean?" "My Lady, they are a couple who will marry soon, and due to their long friendship in childhood, they will always sleep together…" "Servant! Have you lost your mind! Do you have any idea what you are saying! Or even implying!" "My Lady, you are more than welcome to check for yourself if you do not believe me, no-one will stop you whilst they are both sleeping…" "Enough! I do not need to see….I would also like to ask him if he is free to enjoy the lanterns with me tonight? Well? What is it?" "I am afraid that The Young Master has several appointments to attend to tonight." "It sounds like he is busy enough to avoid me all of this time. Very well, I shall wait inside The Young Mistress Seo's chambers after all." "Very well, let me lead you the way, My Lady."

It wasn't easy at all to achieve this marriage at all, with my sister being against my feelings for the Young Master Nam. Since that shameless and lowly girl in his home exposed me without a hint of fear at all, I had been grounded in my room for weeks on end with no news from the outside world at all. I had been shamed throughly throughout the palace and when my sister personally visited me, she did everything but literally tear me apart with her bare hands and toss me into a nearby fireplace. But the same fate that had driven her to the man that she loved now seemed to be on my side, since almost another week later, my father had personally let me out of my room with his blessing to my wish. "Father? What has made you change your mind? What about the prince and sister…" "As if you care about your sister's reputation at all. Since the moment you have been making these so-called visits to our enemy's manor, you haven't taken your family name and honour into consideration at all!"

"Are you being serious? You and mother have primped me to become a copy of my sister without taking myself into account at all! I do not have anything in common with her! I hate the perfume that she wears, I hate the heavy hairstyle that you all make me wear for hours on end, and I hate the girls that you make follow me every step I take! No one understands me like Master Nam!" "How can you compare yourself to a lowborn bastard who killed his own brother to steal his place?" "So what? Is he the first person to do so? To commit murder for a position!" "You…!" "What? Are you going to beat me? Again? Father?"

I had already risked my life for the Master Nam and I had done everything that I could to make him a favourable person in the King's court, and now he needed to return the favour to me and help me out to regain my own favour.

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I could hear The Lady Min waiting for me as I took my time to conclude my business with Seo Yeon after a year apart. Our angry argument last night turned into something more physical that we just couldn't tear ur minds away from, no matter how hard we tried. No matter how awkward and tense things were now with myself and Yeon, it was still better than being with The Lady Min, which knowing her, she would probably most likely to treat me either as a prized possession and leech everything she could off of me or treat me like a damned servant rather than a husband, even if our so-called marriage wasn't a wanted one. I didn't have a chance in hell of becoming a true man, never mind a true husband or son…or a true brother. I tried not to think about him but the truth was that my father blamed me so much for his death that I also had to carry that additional guilt with me every single day of my life…I felt like I couldn't remember what it felt like to breathe anymore…

The Lady Min had started inviting herself to my residence out of nowhere in the midst of a plague and all she knew how to do was to fish information about me when there was nothing to tell at all. The only other thing I knew about her was that she was on the hunt for a husband, and I feared that she had already found her target. Which was why I had tried to find every excuse in the book to excuse myself from being in her presence, but she always found me no matter where I was or how busy that was. But that wasn't the reason why I was getting angry this time, I really did not like how she was looking at Yeon at all. The minute I noticed her making her way inside I pulled Yeon behind me as if to hide her, but I knew that once she saw her, that there was no getting out of this.

"My Lady, what brings you over here?" "Young Master, you keep disappearing and I had no way of finding you. And what on earth is a man of your standing doing in a dump like this?"

This naive, clueless and insensitive woman was starting to really tick me off; just who did she think she was? Just who did this woman think she was to just dismiss it like it was rubbish? For almost over a year now I had been pushed to my absolute limit from everyone in the palace, at home, in the village and becoming a target of even Hwi's rage was turning me into someone that I didn't want to be. I didn't want to be isolated anymore. I wanted to be shown some respect at work and the very last thing that I wanted was to torture Yeon like had been, but I couldn't help myself. She was the only person who cared about me, and since she was bold enough to side with the village's most hated man, then she should be able to take on my current state-of-mind.

"Master Nam? I asked you what you are doing here?" "Is it any of your business where I am?" I couldn't help but to snap at her as I tried to leave, but then she had the damned nerve to start interrogating Yeon as if she was some sort of prisoner. "I am still the ward of the Young Master…" "She is as good as a little sister to me, and someone I am caring for since she is orphaned." "She must have been well off before being orphaned to be able to wear such good fabrics." I could tell that she was mocking her, and it took everything in me not march over to her and slap her clean across the face like I wanted to. In fact, it was Yeon who pinched me in the arm and slowly approached her to greet her in return. "And what sort of scent are you wearing, dear? It is nothing like the most popular perfumes in the marketplace…" "So the Lady admits to shopping in the same place as the commoners. I admit that I do not follow trends at all; if everyone copied each other, then even a commoner would be able to impersonate the noble class." Even I couldn't believe that it was sweet little Yeon who was indirectly fighting back a woman related to the Royal Family, but I just went with it. In truth, I really did have no idea how to converse with woman, especially when they spoke indirectly like they always did. If I even said a word wrong, I would probably loose everything I had worked for and barely attained. So now more than ever, I found myself silently thanking Yeon once again; maybe brining her here really wasn't such a bad idea after all, despite the pain her absence was giving her brother.

I barley caught a glance at the Lady Min, who looked like she had been slapped clean across the face before Yeon seated us all and called for the servants to serve us all tea. I could see that the Lady was deliberately trying to get as close to Yeon as she could, and I could only leap forward and place myself in-between both ladies to there wouldn't be any trouble.

"So, Master Nam, how long have you known this girl again?" "I do not see why that is any of your business." "I am just simply asking you a question…" "My Lady has already asked me as many questions as you can possibly think of in the last month alone. I am simply astounded that you still have more questions to ask me." "So you see her as a little sister you say? That is good. You must know her food preferences in that matter. I have in fact brought a steaming dish of hotpot with me for you to try. But the young girl is welcome to try it as well."

Myself and Yeon could both see past her sweet fake smiles; she didn't do her research on me at all. I hated spicy foods and Yeon could never take it as well. This was in fact, the Lady Min's favourite dish and she was forcing it on Yeon as some sort of punishment for no reason at all. It was one thing for myself to be victimised and humiliated all of my life, but over my dead body was I going to allow the same thing to happen to Yeonnie. Her unwanted epileptic fits and already tortured her enough throughout her life, on top of being orphaned and destitute overnight. She had already survived more than what other woman could not and the fact that she was still living with a smile on her face made me treasure her a lot more than I could ever express to her.

Myself and Yeon had no way-out of this since the Lady Min still had a higher rank than any one of us, so we could not refuse her. I could only take Yeon by the hand underneath the table and holding it tightly; I knew that I had repeatedly broken the moral code by touching her when I shouldn't, but I just really could not help myself. My father was nowhere in sight for once, so I could only steal moments with her like this and savour it as much as I could.

We were both just about to take a bite, when the Lady suddenly spat out the tea that she was enjoying slowly whilst watching us squirm. "What on earth- what is in this tea? Why does it taste so bitter? Is this…is this salt? Who would dare to mix salt into this tea!"

Lady Min was so caught up in what had been put into her tea and she started panicking in such a small space, that I just about noticed that Yeon had taken the opportunity to not only tip over the boiling hot dish right onto Lady Min's lap in the midst of the chaos, but a pot of tea that she herself had brought over with a very unusual smell. I in turn, took her by the hand and pulled her out of there and I ordered my manservant to bring Yeon to my room and keep her there so I could deal with my father's rebuttal on my own.

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I couldn't miss him even if I kept pretending not to see him at times, just so I could see what he would do if I continued to ignore him. Despite the years of underlying tensions between us and after everything we had both put each other through, my heart still rose through my chest every time I saw him, just like the first and second time we were introduced to each other. It was snowing pretty hard outside and yet I felt as if I had stepped on hot coals every time our eyes met. At least that hadn't changed about him in all the years that we had known each other, his eyes used to follow me everywhere I went before he would always come up with some nonsensical excuse to follow me personally. But what was next for us?I still had no idea.