Chapter 8: Nightmares And Comfort
Val's P.O.V
I woke up feeling cozy in my bed, but the memories from last night came crashing back like a tidal wave.
*Ugh.*
At least it was Saturday. No school, no responsibilities—just me and my bed. I wondered what I should do today. Community service? Volunteer at the elderly center? Or lie in bed all day watching *Jane the Virgin* on Netflix with snacks by my side?
Option three it was.
I took a long, hot shower, using my strawberry-scented shampoo and body scrub. Yes, I was obsessed with strawberries. Afterward, I threw on something comfortable—no plans to leave my room unless absolutely necessary.
A few hours and several boxes of tissues later…
Movie Marathon
"That was…beautiful," I whispered, wiping tears as the credits rolled on my laptop screen. I had no idea what time it was, but it was dark outside. Time to grab more snacks and start a Disney marathon.
My eyes were probably bloodshot from all the crying, but who cared? I headed downstairs, where Reynolds and Jax were playing video games. Nothing new there.
Jax's cold eyes met mine, and for a second, I thought I saw concern flash across his face. But then again, who wouldn't be concerned about a girl who looked like she hadn't slept in days, with hair that could double as a bird's nest?
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed ten packs of Oreos. Scratch that—I took the whole box. Then I loaded up on soda and other snacks before starting a batch of popcorn.
"Hey," a voice said from behind me, making me jump and squeal.
I turned to see Jax standing there, looking amused. "You scared me, you jerk," I said, trying to sound playful.
"You okay?" he asked, his tone softer now.
"What are you talking about?" I frowned, confused.
"You were crying earlier."
"Oh, yeah. Just watching a sad movie," I said, shrugging.
"Oh…girls," he muttered under his breath.
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my snacks, heading back to my room. Before I left, I shot him a look. "I'm still mad at you, by the way!"
Trigger Warning: Self-Harm
Later that night, I woke up from a nightmare, my heart racing. I needed water.
I crept downstairs, filled a glass, and leaned against the counter, trying to calm myself. But the memories came flooding back—memories I'd tried so hard to forget.
Flashback
It was two years ago. My dad and I were driving home from the grocery store, singing along to the radio like we always did. The car broke down in the middle of the road, and before I knew it, blinding headlights were coming straight at us.
"I love you, Valentina," my dad said, wrapping his arms around me. Then everything went black.
Back to Reality
Tears streamed down my face as I stood in the kitchen, the pain of that night still raw. My eyes landed on a knife on the counter. Would it take the pain away?
Before I could think, I picked it up and made a shallow cut on my arm. I felt I should scar myself from a scar that would scar me for life. I bit my lip to stifle a cry, then slid to the floor, hugging my knees as tears poured down my face.
"Oh God, Val, what the hell happened?!" Jax's voice broke through the silence. He knelt beside me, his eyes wide with panic. "Who did this to you?"
"I did," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
He froze, his expression a mix of confusion, worry, and sadness. "Why?" he asked, his voice trembling.
I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face. "I don't want to be here anymore. I want the pain to stop. It's my fault he died…"
Jax pulled me into a tight hug, his arms warm and steady. "Val, please don't say that. We need you here. You have so much to live for. You haven't even started planning your future yet. That's what makes every day exciting. You don't have to carry this pain forever. You'll only start healing when you realize not everything is your fault."
"Really?" I asked, my voice shaky.
He nodded, his eyes filled with sincerity.
"I'm sorry for bothering you like this," I said, wiping my tears. "I'm gonna head upstairs."
"You're not bothering me," he said firmly. "Let me help you clean the cut. We don't want it to get infected."
I nodded, and we walked to my room in silence, the only sound being the soft shuffle of our feet against the hardwood floor. Moonlight streamed through my half-open curtains, painting silver stripes across my bedspread. Jax moved with quiet purpose, grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink with the familiarity of someone who'd done this a hundred times before.
His hands were warm as he cradled my arm, his touch feather-light as he dabbed at the scrape with antiseptic. I watched his lashes cast shadows on his cheeks in the dim light, his breath steadying mine as the sting subsided. When he smoothed the bandage over my skin, his thumb brushed my wrist in a whisper of contact that lingered long after he pulled away.
"Thanks," I said softly, tracing the edges of the bandage with my fingertips. The word felt too small for the warmth spreading through my chest.
Jax snapped the first aid kit shut, his gaze lifting to meet mine. "You don't have to thank me." The corner of his mouth quirked up. "Though I do accept payment in the form of those gummy worms you hide in your nightstand."
A surprised laugh escaped me. "You've been raiding my stash?"
"Only the red ones," he confessed, grinning. Then his expression softened. "Do you want me to stay with you? Just in case you have another nightmare."
The question hovered between us, weighted with all the things we weren't saying. I hesitated, my pulse fluttering at my throat. The shadows of my nightmare still clung to me, but it was the thought of being alone that made my breath catch. "Sure," I whispered.
His face lit up like I'd handed him the sun, and something in my chest twisted at how easy it was to make him happy. I turned away before he could see the effect he had on me, my fingers fumbling with the lock as I secured the door—no need for Reynolds to walk in and get the wrong idea. Or worse, the right one.
Jax sank onto my bed with the ease of someone who belonged there, the springs creaking softly beneath him. He patted the space beside him, the invitation in his eyes as familiar as it was dangerous. I climbed in, pulling the blanket over us like a shield against the world, against the truth of his girlfriend sleeping just a few blocks away.
When his arms circled my waist, drawing me back against his chest, I let myself sink into him. His chin settled atop my head, his exhale stirring my hair. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my spine was a lullaby I'd memorized long ago, each thump whispering promises he couldn't keep.
I blushed, a small smile tugging at my lips. This felt so right, yet so wrong. Right because I liked him. Wrong because he had a girlfriend.